I'm really depressed

[Cinderelley]

On Tuesday, I had to put my dalmation down. He had a brain tumor and had gotten to the point where he quit eating. All day he just laid on the floor, so I contacted the vet. We decided it was best to do it that day, since my DD's birthday is Sunday, and I knew he wouldn't make it through the weekend.

Then, I kicked my oldest son out of the house. I had grounded him on Sunday, because I specifically told him to clean the bathroom, go to church with us, and then he could go see his girlfriend. Well, he left while I was in the shower getting ready for church. On Tuesday, he didn't come home after school. I called him & told him to come home, because he was grounded. An hour later, he still wasn't home, so I called him again. He said he was going to lunch first. I told him that he was grounded and he needed to come home then. He said no, so I told him he had 20 minutes to come home or find somewhere else to live. He said that he couldn't make it home in 20 minutes from where he was, so I asked him where he was in order for me to pick him up. He wouldn't tell me. Needless to say, he didn't come home, so I packed his clothes. I know it seems minor, but it's just the last in a long string of things that shows he doesn't respect my authority.

My DH & I are arguing about some of his activities on the computer.

As if those weren't enough, my DS16's girlfriend's grandmother died and her funeral is today, and my DD13's friend came over crying because her father kicked her out of the house. When does it end?

I spent all day in bed yesterday, and only managed to drag myself out in order to get my DS16 a suit for the funeral (he's a pallbearer). I'm only out of bed today, because I forced myself. I can't take any antidepressant medication, because I have a severe reaction to them. I'm planning on hopping on my elliptical trainer and going to Kung Fu class tonight to try to help. I feel completely exhausted though. I tried to make it to the women's church group last night and never did. Any other suggestions for kicking this?

[crazypoohbear]

I'm sorry things are so bad for you right now.
I remember you talking about troubles on the home front recently. I had hoped things had gotten better.

have you tried talking with your priest/pastor/rabbi.

I will pray that things turn around for you soon.

Right now the only advice I can offer is to concentrate on what has to be done in the next few minutes and don't look at the big picture. (easier said than done I know!) I'm trying to convince myself to do that right now as well.
I wish I had better words of wisdom for you.

[mrsgaribaldi]

I'm so sorry about your dog and all the other things you have been going through. Just remember that with time it will get better. You have done the right thing with your oldest son and you know you did with your dog. I agree with crazypoohbear and try to focus on just one thing at a time. One of the good things about being an adult is knowing that time brings changes and nothing bad lasts forever. Things will get better. Try to pamper yourself if you can and take extra good care of yourself. I wish I had better words of wisdom for you too.

[princessgirls]

Hang in there. It will get better soon.

Keep on going girl!

Julie

[tennantsrwe]

Just remember life will never take you where God's Grace can't lead you. I'm sorry to hear about all you've got going on and will pray for you. God Bless!

[DizNee143]

im sorry everything seems like its all going wrong and bad at once..but it can only get better from here!!! hope your feeling like yourself soon!!!

[IloveDisney71]

I'm so sorry about all that is going on in your life right now. I have two DD's (19 1/2 & almost 18) and I wish they came with instructions! We have had some tough times but they do get better. Even in the roughest of times I made sure that they knew/know we love them and that's why we have rules & boundries.
Find someone to talk to. Maybe your church leader or a good friend. That always seems to help me when I need someone to "vent" to. Good Luck and I hope things settle down for you very soon.

[SBETigg]

Wow, what a rough week! and best wishes to get through this week and to better times ahead. Hugs for your loss. It's so hard to let go.

[Mickey052501]

I am soo sorry, it is so difficult to do that. You are my thoughts and prayers.

Jen

[Cinderelley]

Thanks for all the prayers and pixie dust everyone! I'm feeling a lot better today. Not 100%, but I woke up at 4 am, spent about an hour praying for my DS18 and now I feel more at peace about it. I also heard through the grapevine that he was staying with a friend of his girlfriend's. So, at least I know he has a roof over his head and clothes on his back. If he gets hungry enough, he'll come home.

It's still a little rough about my dog. He was a Dalmation named Lucky , and wouldn't you know it, a commercial for the rerelease of 101 Dalmations came on. But, my other two dogs have become pretty needy (they must somehow know something is wrong) and between them and consoling my other kids, it keeps my mind occupied.

I did make it to Kung Fu last night. Usually the place is so packed, we can barely fit anyone in. Last night, it was just my DH & I with the two instructors. I was able to catch on to some things that I was really having a hard time with, so I started feeling better about that too. That situation could have only come from above.

I have to go back to work tonight. We'll see how that goes.

[MsMin]

Gosh, I thought the news about your dog was bad enough but you have a full plate. I can just imagine they are like bricks on your head with each event weighing you down... no wonder you feel bad. Sending prayers and and a to comfort you. Exercise is great to help relieve stress and depression. I am glad you are getting out. Prayer also helps us to put things in God's hands that are out of our control.
I hope you feel comfort knowing your intercot family is here to give you support. Sometimes they have parenting support groups or as mentioned the clergy. Take good care of yourself, you need a little TLC at this difficult time.

[crazypoohbear]

Thanks for all the prayers and pixie dust everyone! I'm feeling a lot better today. Not 100%, but I woke up at 4 am, spent about an hour praying for my DS18 and now I feel more at peace about it. I also heard through the grapevine that he was staying with a friend of his girlfriend's. So, at least I know he has a roof over his head and clothes on his back. If he gets hungry enough, he'll come home.

.

Wow, you could have called me. I was up until 4:30am praying for my DS 18. I can't believe how much harder and how much more heartache comes when they get older
I just wish we could curl up with them, watch a disney movie and make everything better again
Continued prayers for you with all your worries.

[Stitchahula]

my heart and prayers go out to you and your family. In regards to losing your furbaby I'm so sorry I know from experience how hard it is to make that decision even though you know it's the most loving thing you can do your heart still breaks over it. Your other 2 dogs are going threw a mourning process too they know something was wrong and they know they lost a sibling. All I can say is hang in there and try to draw some comfort from those that are around you and love you.

[crazypoohbear]

How are things going?

I'm praying that because you have not posted this weekend that things have someone calmed down.
Please know that we are all thinking about you and hoping for the best.

[Marilyn Michetti]

My heart goes out to you. Our Bentley had to be put down in Nov., and it was HARD!

I don't know what to say about your son, but lots of great people have crossed that bridge. Ruth and Billy Graham went through those waters with their son Franklin, and look where he's at now. You're going to have to wait this one out - pray, pray, pray, and stay connected to your good friends at Church.

You and DH are going to have to join forces somehow. I hope that you can stay strong in this battle. You need each other.

I'll add God Bless. Pixie Dust isn't enough this time.

[Cinderelley]

Well, DD's 14th birthday was yesterday. We had her party at a laser tag place.

DS18 and his girlfriend were there. I'm very glad that he was there, because DD would have been heartbroken if he didn't show up.

On Friday, I had called him to see if he wanted to go out shopping with me to get b-day presents for DD. He went with me, and his girlfriend kept calling him to see why he wasn't home yet. I could only hear his half of the conversation, but it seemed like she was jealous that he was out with me. Anyway, he finally yelled at her "Because it's my sister's birthday this weekend" and hung up on her. I just kept my mouth shut. It was nice to be the good guy for once.

The dogs are doing okay. The kids want to get another pet, but I'm done getting more animals. We've had one die or get put down every two years for the past 6 years. I don't want to go through it anymore. DH is perfectly fine with this.

My mother and my sister are "hovering" around me. This is really a change of events in my family. I've always been the "rock" in my family (since I was a teenager anyway. My dad was abusive, and I was the one who finally stood up to him when I became old enough to realize what needed to be done.) I don't think they know what to do.

DH & I didn't interact too much this weekend. He wants to meet for lunch today. We'll see how that goes.

I still feel exhausted. I went to bed at 7pm last night and slept until 4 this morning.

I start school tonight. Wish me luck!

[Cinderelley]

One of the good things about being an adult is knowing that time brings changes and nothing bad lasts forever. Things will get better.

Actually, this is something that I had forgotten. It felt like it was going to be like this forever. Thanks for reminding me.