How do you handle offensive forwarded e-mails? (vent)

[alphamommy]

An acquaintance of mine (I bowled on a league with her several years ago) forwards LOTS of "funny" e-mails to me. Some really are funny, but some are downright offensive, even raunchy. I don't try to be a prude or anything, but DD8 uses my computer to e-mail to her grandparents, and I would hate to have her accidentally open one from this person. Some include explicit pictures, cartoons, etc.

I usually just delete them as soon as I figure out what they are, but this morning I got one that was a story about a frog. I started reading, then figured out where it was going. This was the last straw - I sent her an e-mail, asking that she please stop forwarding these to me.

She must have been online, because she sent a reply almost immediately, saying she had no idea that my DD would be using the computer.

I just need to vent about this, because I know she has a son the same age as my DD - would she want him to read the stuff she sends?

Did I do the right thing in asking her to cease and desist? Has anyone else had to do this? Would you be offended if someone asked you to stop sending things to them?

Just needed to get that out of my system.

[PirateLover]

If your DD uses your account than of course you did the right thing! Even if you didn't have a DD, if some of the more explicit emails make you uncomfortable you should also speak up. She probably keeps forwarding them because she thinks that everyone who receives them likes them.

However don't assume that your acquaintance should know better because she has a son your age. They may have a separate account set up for him or something so he isn't in their personal stuff.

[BronxTigger]

If she continues to send you forwards, then perhaps you can block her email address or have stuff from that email address sent to your junk folder.

[chelleincarolina]

I would have to say that you should make sure that your DD knows that your email is yours and that she shouldn't open any of it. Not only because of offensive emails, but she could open a virus.

As far as "raunchy" emails, my friends have been known to put "PG-13" or "Rated R" in the subject line.

[SBETigg]

Tammy, I think you handled it well and the friend seemed to accept it without any trouble and with some understanding. Well done!

I usually just delete-- but I don't have kids using my computer and my close friends don't send stuff like that. If friends sent stuff like that, I would feel comfortable enough to say something.

[MNNHFLTX]

If she continues to send you forwards, then perhaps you can block her email address or have stuff from that email address sent to your junk folder.

That's what I would do.

[DizneyRox]

If she continues to send you forwards, then perhaps you can block her email address or have stuff from that email address sent to your junk folder.

Exactly, don't leave it up to them to determine what's good or bad. Set up a rule to automatically delete all e-mails from that e-mail address.

Also, set up a limited user account for your kids to use on the computer. In addition to seeing things they shouldn't see, they can do a lot more to break the computer with what is probably an administrator level account like yours.

[princessjojo]

I had this same issue with my MIL sending me e-mail that I really didn't appreciate. She is very closed minded to accepting things the way they are in today's society--lifestyle choices, racial choices, moral issues, etc. She knows I am very different from her. She has deep southern, pre-equality roots and stands by them many times, though not always. I don't feel anyways close to the way she does. I see everyone, for the most part, as equals, all races, genders, and nationalities.

She forwarded me something that I really didn't agree with, something that she and I debate frequently. And it wasn't the first time. I respect her opinions, regardless of how ignorant they are, but when she did, I forwarded it back to her, told her that my children, her grandchildren, could have very well opened this and would have seen a side of her that would have been very disappointing to them. I explained that I am trying to raise them to see everyone as equals, and you can't judge a book by its cover. I want them to realize that no matter how different others may appear on the outside, our basic needs in life are all the same, specifically we all want to feel loved, needed and respected by others. She was angry that I stood up to her this way, saying that it was addressed to me and not them, and she would never have sent this to them. If they were to open my e-mail, it would be my fault (HA HA). I was insulted that she felt I would appreciate the message.

Anyway, she did respect my wishes, and now floods my box with e-mails that stress her religious and political choices. But I did what I needed to do to protect my children.

If the person is truly someone who respects you, they won't be offended or insulted by your request, rather will honor it and understand you and what you're trying to do for your children.

[Mousefever]

I automatically delete any emails from my Uncle Rick. I've asked him not to forward political emails to me, but he continues to do it anyway. Unless the subject line is "Family Reunion" I never open his emails.

I have two email pet peeves.

1. Emails that imply or outright say that I don't love God, my country, etc. if I don't forward the email to 10 people in the next five minutes. I refuse to be manipulated by guilt, and I delete these emails.

2. When people forward emails blindly without checking on snopes.com for validity of the email. I don't hate this. In fact I find it amusing. But if people would just take a couple of minutes to check it out before they email it to everyone on their list, it would be nice.

Amy

[tinksmom02]

As far as "raunchy" emails, my friends have been known to put "PG-13" or "Rated R" in the subject line.

My friends and I do this, too..."do not open in front of kids" works pretty well, too...

[QUOTE=Mousefever;1536200]
2. When people forward emails blindly without checking on snopes.com for validity of the email. I don't hate this. In fact I find it amusing. But if people would just take a couple of minutes to check it out before they email it to everyone on their list, it would be nice.[QUOTE]
My mother is notorious for this. And when I check them out at snopes, and tell her they're fake, she gets offended. "I was just trying to help." Well, I'm just trying to help! Take fifteen seconds and run it through snopes!!

Anyway, to the OP, I think you handled it well, and hopefully this'll be the end of it!

[RenDuran]

I have two email pet peeves.

1. Emails that imply or outright say that I don't love God, my country, etc. if I don't forward the email to 10 people in the next five minutes. I refuse to be manipulated by guilt, and I delete these emails.

I get a lot of these, too. That delete button feels so satisfying sometimes!

I wish more people would just write a "personal" email. Mostly what I get are forwards....a lot of the same stuff from 20 different people gets pretty old.

[Dakota Rose]

I once asked a friend to stop sending forwards. I'd get like 6 from her every day. Well, she stopped sending the forwards and she stopped emailing personal notes too.

So, now, when I get forwards, I just delete them without reading. I figure my time is worth more than a laugh at a stupid joke.

What really irritates me more than the forwarded jokes is the email petitions to the White House and the missing children hoaxes.

[DISNEYFIX]

I had this same issue with my MIL sending me e-mail that I really didn't appreciate. She is very closed minded to accepting things the way they are in today's society--lifestyle choices, racial choices, moral issues, etc. She knows I am very different from her. She has deep southern, pre-equality roots and stands by them many times, though not always. I don't feel anyways close to the way she does. I see everyone, for the most part, as equals, all races, genders, and nationalities.

She forwarded me something that I really didn't agree with, something that she and I debate frequently. And it wasn't the first time. I respect her opinions, regardless of how ignorant they are, but when she did, I forwarded it back to her, told her that my children, her grandchildren, could have very well opened this and would have seen a side of her that would have been very disappointing to them. I explained that I am trying to raise them to see everyone as equals, and you can't judge a book by its cover. I want them to realize that no matter how different others may appear on the outside, our basic needs in life are all the same, specifically we all want to feel loved, needed and respected by others. She was angry that I stood up to her this way, saying that it was addressed to me and not them, and she would never have sent this to them. If they were to open my e-mail, it would be my fault (HA HA). I was insulted that she felt I would appreciate the message.

Anyway, she did respect my wishes, and now floods my box with e-mails that stress her religious and political choices. But I did what I needed to do to protect my children.

If the person is truly someone who respects you, they won't be offended or insulted by your request, rather will honor it and understand you and what you're trying to do for your children.

Thank god for caller id!

[DisneyDog]

My mom has been sending me slightly dirty jokes. I don't know why she thinks I appreciate them. I tried asking her to stop, but she ignores me. Sometimes she includes a personal note at the top of a message, so I'm pretty much forced to open them up. But, now I only look at the top and if there is no personal message I delete them.

[Kairi_7378]

I think you handled the situation very well. f nothing else, you may have encouraged your friend to think before she sends these dopey forwards!

[prprincess]

Did I do the right thing in asking her to cease and desist? Has anyone else had to do this? Would you be offended if someone asked you to stop sending things to them?

I think that you did the right thing. In fact, I just had a similar experience occur last week.

My uncle is in his 80s and is always sending out racist email jokes. He is a different race than my aunt, my family, and I, but even still, he seems to be very intolerant...I don't even know how they are married, but that's besides the point.

At first I would just hit delete on the emails and ignore him. But the racist jokes just kept coming and coming and coming. Finally last week I replied to him, "Please don't send me any more racist jokes. Thank you!"

Since then I haven't gotten anything from him at all, which is fine with me. My aunt may have to tolerate him, but I don't!!