View Full Version : Guy Rules

08-26-2002, 12:45 PM
And Now From a Guys Perspective!!! graemlins/doubleeek.gif

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
From the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all
Numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Don't cut your hair. Ever!! Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that
married women always cut their hair, and by then we're stuck with you

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just spit it

1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops!! What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Check your oil! Please!!!!!

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like a Victoria's Secret model, don't expect us to act like a soap opera guy.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We'll refuse to answer.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of those ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best on how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, it's like the Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying

1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

08-26-2002, 02:00 PM
Donna, thanks for the laugh. I certainly needed it. :D

08-26-2002, 02:54 PM
Any Questions?

08-26-2002, 02:56 PM
:D .....although I actually prefer shorter hair

08-26-2002, 03:00 PM
graemlins/rotfl.gif That was hilarious! Thanks for posting that! graemlins/rotfl.gif

08-26-2002, 10:18 PM
Here it's Sunday=sports, Monday=sports, Tuesday=sports, Wednesday=sports, Thursday=sports, Friday=sports AND Saturday=sports! graemlins/shakehead.gif

08-26-2002, 10:48 PM
That list is definetly accurate, but I think I agree with # 1 most of all... graemlins/laughing.gif graemlins/rotfl.gif

08-27-2002, 02:16 PM