Am I being unreasonable?

[bleukarma]

Im getting married in less than 2 weeks!!! So excited! I still have a lot to do (I still need to find shoes!!) but I’m slowing getting things done.

Im a little annoyed though. My brother lives in Ohio (I live in Florida) and he lets my parents (also in Florida) use an older car that he has so they don’t have to pay car payments. Well him and his fiancé are flying in for the wedding the Thursday before. He wants to use his car to get around town, show his fiancé the sights, etc. My mom asked me if I can pick her up from work since my brother will have his car. Its 2 days and the day before my wedding!!! She lives 45 minutes from her job and I live a half hour from her house (not factoring in traffic). I will be spending my evenings after I get off work taking her home instead of getting last minute things done for the wedding. I was planning on getting my nails done on Friday after I get off work but if I have to pick her up I can’t.

Am I being unreasonable by being annoyed at her request? I could always hurry up and get things done by the Wed before the wedding, and just get my nails done the morning of. Should I be a nice daughter and help her out? Or tell her that I would like to enjoy my experience as this is the first and last time I plan on ever having a wedding?

[VWL Mom]

I would be annoyed too but at your brother rather than your mom. He's basically leaving her high and dry. I would do it one night but let him do it the other so you can carry on with your nail appointment and such.

[bleukarma]

I just remembered that we bought lower level lightning tickets and special lighting tshirts that we were going to put "bride" and "groom" on for the Thursday before. I can't pick her up on Thursday if I wanted to. Between the tshirts, and the tickets, its a lot of money to throw away for a ride home. And we were going to try and get on the jumbotron "kiss cam." I dont want to miss out on my lightning experience. This is one thing about the wedding thing that my fiance is excited about lol!!!! Both my brother and my mom know about our lightning night out. They are going to have to figure something out for that Thursday.

[Reedy Creek Buccaneer]

It's your wedding! You are in control! Let them figure it out!

[Mrs Bus Driver]

Your brother could always rent a car for a couple of days. I am sure he could find a deal.

[dnickels]

Yeah I think your brother or parents should rent a car for the week. I mean if they have no car payments and he can afford to buy a car for them then at least one of them should be able to come up with $200 for a weekly car rental.

[ibelieveindisneymagic]

I'd be honest. You don't have time, you have things planned. I'd let them know ASAP though, so everyone can make other plans.

Perhaps your brother could pick her up, or he/they could rent a car for a few days.

[lawgirl]

Definitely let your brother help out, since he put you in this situation. I would tell them both as soon as possible, and just black and white...these are the plans I had, I'm sorry I need you both to work it out. I would think as long as they have advance notice that it shouldn't be an issue. Yes! Rent a cheap car for 2 days, or your brother can plan to pick her up. Be firm. It's your special time! Congrats!

[Ian]

I would be annoyed too but at your brother rather than your mom.This.

[SBETigg]

This is one time you need to step aside and let your mother and brother work it out. It's not something you were counting on, and you have wedding stuff, and important to you personal stuff. Please don't let them make you feel pressured. This is your time.

[AgentC]

Totally with everyone on this. When I got my married my sister in law and her husband drove to Florida because she didn't like to drive. My mother in law (who lived with them at the time) had a bad back and couldn't do the car ride so they planned it so they could pick her up and bring her to the hotel when her flight got in.

On our wedding day, sister in law told my soon to be husband that it was inconvenient to drop her at the airport (which they had to go by) and that he needed to drop her off because she wouldn't take the shuttle.

So the day after our wedding instead of relaxing at the hotel with me, my husband took an 1 1/3 round trip to the airport.

It still bothers me 10 years later.

If the one day works for you, do it but if not I don't think it is unreasonable for you want to spend the evening before your wedding focused on you.

[bleukarma]

I told them about the hockey game and my mom said that she will work it out with my dad or brother. And she hasn't responded to me since so I don't think she his happy about it. But I talked to my great aunt and apparently I am selfish for not helping her out when my dad has been working to help pay for the reception. I just wish we would've went to Vegas! If it was up to me we would have, but my fiance actually likes his family and wanted them involved.

Really...I'm just ready for my wedding to be over with!!!

[BrerGnat]

This should have nothing to do with you. It is your brother's car and he and your mother need to work out these sorts of logistics when he visits and wants use of HIS car. I'm surprised you were even brought into this situation. There is nothing wrong with saying "no" when people are being unreasonable.

Don't let this ruin your wedding day. You have handed it over to those who should work it out and now just try and forget about it.

[AgentC]

Hugs Amber. I've been following your planning on Facebook and you definitely aren't a selfish bride!

Deep breaths. This too will pass. Don't let them bother you.

[SBETigg]

I definitely understand your frustration. I'm always trying to be the good daughter, doing the right things, and it can be very hurtful to me when I finally focus on me and get zero understanding back from the people I work hard to please a large percentage of the time. I still have trouble tuning out criticism. But at some point, you have to do it. You know what's right for you. And you know what's right, overall. You are not the selfish one. Just keep swimming!

[minnie04]

You have every right to be upset. If you brother is just "showing" his fiancé the sights, then he needs to be back around the time your mom is getting off work. He should be the one to take her home.

If all else fails.... RENT HER A CAR!!! Something cheap we always grab a car and they usually never run more the $30 for a day or two...It's so not worth the headache this close to your wedding...

Good Luck and just remember IT'S YOUR DAY AND NOTHING SHOULD GET IN THE WAY OF IT!!! Congratulations by the way..lol

[bleukarma]

I talked to my brother, he said don't worry about it, dont change my plans, he will make sure she gets home from work. I'm not sure why my mom came to me and asked me to begin with if my brother was ok picking her up. To stress me out I guess!!!

[retiredfigment]

I agree, rent a car. And be thankful your mom and brother can share this time with you!

[BriarRose0708]

Wow Amber I didn't even know you were engaged! I'm glad you got this situation all worked out, it would have really annoyed me, too!

So happy for you, congratulations! I hope everything goes smoothly and you & your fiance have an amazing day.

[Belle of the Ball 051411]

Congrats on your upcoming wedding! You're not be unreasonable at all. This is your time and your brother and mom shouldn't be burdening you with this - let them work it out. I think the easiest solution would be to have your brother rent a car (or your parents rent a car for a few days).

[MNNHFLTX]

I talked to my brother, he said don't worry about it, dont change my plans, he will make sure she gets home from work. I'm not sure why my mom came to me and asked me to begin with if my brother was ok picking her up. To stress me out I guess!!!I'm wondering if your mom might have been looking for a little mother-daughter bonding time before the big day. I'm sure it's an emotional time for her too. Not that I don't understand your feelings about this, it's totally valid. It's just a thought that occurred to me.

[bleukarma]

Thanks everyone for the kind words! I'm sure everything will fall into place. And if it doesn't, then I am just going to have to roll with it :mickey: