Question for sports parents -- how involved are you?

[Aurora]

I live in a city community where parents are extremely involved in their kids sports activities -- meaning, they go to as many games as they can, do concessions, run raffles, etc.

With three kids in all different kinds of activities, I'm perfectly willing to help out as much as I can, but with my husband working 6 days a week, sometimes 10-hour days, I can't always go to my kids' games, and I find myself feeling guilty when I drop him/her off and I see all the other parents there. I was surprised to see the number of parents at my high-school freshman son's scrimmage with other teammates.

I remember when I was in sports as a kid, my parents rarely went to games, especially in high school. It was my thing, not theirs.

How does everyone else feel and how old are your kids?

[Christine]

I only have one child, DD13, who plays every sport in school (soccer, basketball, volleyball, track, softball) AND city league lacrosse AND travel club lacrosse. DH & I work F/T jobs M-F so clearly we don't make it to every practice, but we try our best to get to every game. This sounds really weird but I just cannot get enough of watching her play- anything! Her talent truly amazes me and it blows my mind to see her out there pushing herself to levels of skill that I can only imagine ever being able to have done or do now. I truly enjoy it- it's our entertainment and hopefully her ticket to college.

I wouldn't feel guilty if you can't make it to games. Life is that way. Do what you can. Don't sweat the rest!

[VWL Mom]

I was very involved with my boys starting way back in little league. For the older it was every practice and every game with the younger in tow.

After LL it became more difficult because he was playing middle school and travel ball but I made it to every game. Our summers were spent traveling for baseball.

During HS ball I went to every game and was in the booster club, college ball I get to as many games as I can. Sadly, this will be he last year playing baseball. I'm going to miss it terribly along with all the families we've become friends with through the years.

My younger did play for awhile but switched to Shot Put. He throws in HS but it's a different environment. Very few parents attend but I'm there rooting him on.

[Dulcee]

I don't have kids but growing up I played a sport every season. One parent made it to games here and there, not always. Very, very rarely they'd both be there but that would be for big championship games. And they never watched my practices.

My parents both worked and with 4 kids there was only so much time. Now DH's parents, they show up to every one of their youngest's games, practices you name it. When were in town we all go. The most recent baseball game he batted, once, the entire game. Personally I think its a bit silly that we were all in tow for the 30 seconds he was playing.

Sports are for kids, sometimes parents being around just complicates things. Unless your son has said Mom I want you to be there, I wouldn't worry.

[Pirate Granny]

I loved going back and forth to practices (ice hockey and not local rinks). We split the time hubby going with one, me the other and it was quality time spent in the car going back and forth, and visiting with the parents that we are still friends with 20 years later. Our three gals danced, swam, did Girl Scouts/Guides, played softball, soccer and the younger two played hockey. The oldest did theater and was in gifted activities. I will admit I was a stay at home mom for lots of those years, but I always would pick up gals who's parents worked or just needed a ride to practice, games or tournaments.

So, for our girls, who are now in their 30's someone was always at their games or events. And they also now go to their children's events, at least one parent, and they are all working full time. Time passes so quickly and they are truly great memories...housework can wait, kids don't.

[kakn7294]

My youngest daughters is just starting out in marching band and the oldest was involved for the past 5 years. My husband and I are heavily involved as well. We are band parent presidents and chaperone nearly every event. We have also coached softball teams, been girl scout leaders, helped out with the HS musical and other plays, hosted parties in school, whatever it took to keep the kids involved in their chosen activity.

We do both work full-time jobs but we feel that our time with our kids is short so we choose to spend as much time as possible with them. Our kids are fine with us being there and are actually disappointed when we can't be. I know that there are plenty of families who think we're crazy for being so involved in our kids' lives, but so far, my kids are turning out pretty ok.

[SBETigg]

Not a sports parent, but know the feeling from having involvement in other kid activities. There are parents who are joiners and doers and volunteer for everything. They always seem to be there and somehow manage to do it all. And there are parents who are more content to do what they can as time allows, and time can be short. Don't feel guilty to be in either camp. We all love our kids and want what's best for them, right? It should be a judgment free, guilt free zone. Except for those parents who yell and scream and set poor examples of sportsmanship. I think they're fair game.

[Dulcee]

Except for those parents who yell and scream and set poor examples of sportsmanship. I think they're fair game.

Ditto. I can still remember my best friend's embarrassment growing up when her mother got into a fight at our softball game in high school.

[kakn7294]

I hope that nobody takes my comments as a slam on parents who don't attend every game. That's just how we choose to be - it's not for everyone. I do get frustrated with parents who choose to never be involved though - we've had some kids over the years who have complained that their parents NEVER ONCE attended any event throughout their days in activities. That's just sad...

[buzznwoodysmom]

We have two kids, boys ages 13 and 11. They have always been involved in sports and other extracurricular activities at school. My husband works full time, plus works from home in the evenings and is in the National Guard. I am a stay at home mom, but am also my husband's secretary for his business. So combined we stay very, very busy.

We do drop our kids off at practice most of the time, although we do make it a point to attend some practices so that we get to know their coaches and other parents. At least one of us attends each and every one of their games. We have never dropped either of our kids off at a game and not stayed to watch. If their schedules conflict we "divide and conquer". I love watching them play and honestly just can't imagine neither of us being there for them. We pull our share, usually once per season, doing concessions for their sports when it's requested. Even with a busy schedule we make the time to be involved in their various activities. It's not always easy, but it's what we want to do. I never really looked at it as "it's their thing, not mine". If they are interested in a sport, then I am interested in watching them play. It's just how I am. DH often helps coach so he is usually very involved. We also attend all of their band and chorus concerts throughout the year. If we had a 3rd child not sure how we would handle that. Just do our best to attend as much as we could I guess.

If a parent really doesn't have the available time to be at the games then I'm not sure you can do anything about it. As parents we can't do the impossible, all we can do is try our best.

[Kenny1113]

I go to my kids games and practices (sometimes I run errands or run during the practice).

Like others have said you do what you can, no guilt no judgement.

[Reedy Creek Buccaneer]

Go as much as you can! It's the effort that counts, and that's what the kids will see.

[Opus X]

Our son (8) is a huge soccer and baseball athlete.
He does great in both and loves it.
I love soccer and baseball so that is nice also.
Our daughter is 5 so...still kinda early to see whether she is a sports girl or dance, tumbling..cheerleader girl. My wife played volleyball in college....so she despises the "cheer gal" as she called them...i think it would be funny if DD ended up one.:thedolls:
But, My son loves the competition and in both leagues he hates to lose. He is a little Pete Rose and little Wayne Rooney..VERY into it and doesn't like to lose. Which, thankfully..hes on a good team in both sports.
I cant coach...dont have the schedule..so we are spectators parents..that root him on...win or lose.
I just want my kids active and healthy. Sports is a good workout and keeps them active.
Too many kids these days do NOTHING...its sad.

[RedSoxFan]

My 3 sons all played sports throughout middle school and high school and rec leagues. I went to all of them and did my share of concession stand duties. I enjoyed watching them so much and miss those days. DD16 plays HS sports (softball) and I go to all those games too. Just something I enjoy.

[Katzateer]

Most sports require some participation from parents- swim club for our oldest we had to volunteer a certain number of hours for her to even be on the team.The high school team not as much, but we did help at meets.

We were more involved with our youngest- her dance competition team traveled ( think Abby Lee without the mean moms ). And she trained at an Olympic USGA gym with 17 hour a week practices so that took up a lot of transportation and meet travel time.

Miss those days of sport involvement- we had a great time traveling and helping out with all the teams. Enjoy whatever level you can help out -
those years with the kids are gone so fast.

[Scar]

Sports are for kids, sometimes parents being around just complicates things. Unless your son has said Mom I want you to be there, I wouldn't worry.This is perfect. I don't have kids either, but, as a kid that played sports, I can't even remember if my parents were ever there. I know my father was almost never there, too busy working, and my mom was there sometimes. I was just way too into playing and having fun to care who was watching. I do remember my coaches, and remember which ones wanted to be there, and which ones didn't. Never bothered me that my parents weren't involved. All I needed was a ride, and a new glove every few years.

BTW, my parents are wonderful parents and I turned out OK, so no parent should worry about not being involved in their kids sports.