Okay, needed to Vent SOMEWHERE!

[TinkerbellT421]

Okay, without BLOWING up on people over the internet, I decided I had to vent it somewhere, to possibly SOMEONE who would understand.

So, who knows those people, who ask for "advice" via Facebook, which annoys me in general, but anywho...

I know someone who specifically ASKED FOR ADVICE on Facebook. I usually never do, but this time I did, I chimed in, gave my sweet, kind hearted, concerned advice, and then she BLOWS up on my taking offense to my advice. Flips out, gives me attitude (or what I suspect to be attitude based on the terms she used) and I'm like whoa, you asked for advice, why are you blowing up on me? I was giving you an opinion, on what I would do, in that situation, that I would be concerned of x-y-z.

Why do people ask for advice, on Facebook of all places, and then FLIP OUT on people when they give it???

Has anyone else had this happen? I mean is it just me!?

Thanks for listening, had to vent somewhere :-o

[Jim&AngieMarriner]

I hear you loud and clear. I dont understand people most times.

Matter of fact, the more I know some folks, the more I really love my Pal Mickey.

[BriarRose0708]

She still probably wouldn't have taken your advice if you'd given it to her on the phone or in person. Sometimes when you don't tell a person what they want to hear, it won't matter. I'm sorry she had to do it through Facebook though.

[TinkerbellT421]

I hear you loud and clear. I dont understand people most times.

Matter of fact, the more I know some folks, the more I really love my Pal Mickey.

Exactly, I like to say, the more people I meet the more I love my animals :cloud9:


She still probably wouldn't have taken your advice if you'd given it to her on the phone or in person. Sometimes when you don't tell a person what they want to hear, it won't matter. I'm sorry she had to do it through Facebook though.

That's what irritates me the most. She like BLOWS up on me, on her "status", where she clearly was just asking for advice, that I gave her. Don't want to hear it, don't ask, it's that simple. I am the type of person that I am not going to give you advice that you "want" to hear, I'm going to give you true advice whether it's what you want to hear or not. I am a truthful person, I won't lie just to make you "feel better" about a situation. Grrr, so frustrating.

[MNNHFLTX]

Yeah, she probably wasn't really looking for advice, but validation of what she had already decided what to do. I know lots of people like that FB.

[TinkerbellT421]

Yeah, she probably wasn't really looking for advice, but validation of what she had already decided what to do. I know lots of people like that FB.

lol, I guess when she rounded up the status with "Please help, what would you do?" I must have KNOWN she was just looking for validation lol. Silly me, what was I thinking? DOH! ** forehead smack**

[minnie04]

WOW!! This just happened to me recently. Someone (very close-not family) asked me to be HONEST and tell them If I thought they were the problem in a situation. In the past 20 or more years I have never voiced my opinion on this certian subject (in was their family) and I said this time YOU asked so here goes. I was very calm and didn’t say it was all this person’s fault that things were so bad, but I did say they ALL shared the blame in it. WELL all of a sudden it's “I (person) need a break from our friendship because it’s obvious you think I'm (person) is to blame for EVERYTHING!!! To that I answered a big WHATEVER!! !! (In my head) And I should have said the truth hurts doesn’t it, but I stayed quite on that point. I knew it wasn't going to go well, but I had, had enough of just hearing one side to all of this and for it to have gotten so out of control. I knew it took more than just the other family members. It was everyone... Anyway I know exactly how you feel and it's awful that you can't be honest when someone asks you to “tell me (them) the truth”...LESSION LEARNED :mickey:

[DizneyRox]

I don't use Facebook... Nothing good ever came of it. It's best left alone. I heard from people all the time, he said this, and they said that. Seems it has just made arguing easier. If someone want's to know what I'm up to, they can just call me up and ask. Or wait until they get my XMas card .

No sir, I don't like it...

[buzznwoodysmom]

OP, I hate when that happens.

I've learned over the years that when "most" people ask for advice (especially in a public forum such as Facebook) they really just want you to say what they want to hear. I've pretty much learned to keep my mouth shut if my opinion/suggestion is one that I'm sure the "asker" doesn't want to hear.

I have a very good friend that I know will always give it to me straight, and she wants the same from me as well. When I have a pressing matter I ask her as I know she won't sugar coat anything, and she won't take my side just because. I also know when she has a serious question for me that I can be totally honest with her as well. These kinds of friends seem few and far between these days.

[TinkerbellT421]

I am glad to see I am not the only one.

DizneyRox, you have no idea, or may be you do lol, how many times a day I say to myself, I should just delete my account and call it a day....


So, let me ask, am I wrong for being honest? Am I in the wrong for telling someone the truth and not just validating what they want to hear?

[VWL Mom]

So, let me ask, am I wrong for being honest? Am I in the wrong for telling someone the truth and not just validating what they want to hear?


I would tell you my opinion but I'm afraid your just looking for validation, lol.:secret:

[TinkerbellT421]

i would tell you my opinion but i'm afraid your just looking for validation, lol.:secret:

lol!!!!!!!

[Janmac]

So, let me ask, am I wrong for being honest? Am I in the wrong for telling someone the truth and not just validating what they want to hear?

Nope, you're not wrong for that . . .

Definitely.

And, you probably will think twice before offering advice again. That's the difficult part - refraining from offering advice - and the part that gives us the most grief.

It's not just facebook; my sister's friend succumbed to the advice question when a new family member asked and that new family member hasn't spoken to the friend of my sister in almost 6 months. And my sister's friend is thinking, what did I say?!?!? :confused:

I told my sister, it's not her friend, but the new family member of the friend. :crazy: Sometimes it's not validation -it's any excuse to drive a wedge.

Jan

[SBETigg]

Yeah, she probably wasn't really looking for advice, but validation of what she had already decided what to do. I know lots of people like that FB.

I know lots of people like that everywhere. Some people ask for advice when they are really just wanting confirmation/what they want to hear. It annoys me, too. When I ask for advice, I really want advice. I want to hear different opinions. Maybe I will learn something or see a situation differently. I wish people who didn't really want advice but just wanted the affirmations could learn to communicate better so we could avoid situations like the one you ended up in, Tonya. Sorry for the blow-up.

[Madame Leona]

Yeah, she probably wasn't really looking for advice, but validation of what she had already decided what to do. I know lots of people like that FB.

That's generally what I've experienced on FB also. I don't chime in anymore if it might be even slightly controversial.

[MNNHFLTX]

That's generally what I've experienced on FB also. I don't chime in anymore if it might be even slightly controversial.Me either. Sometimes I wish others were the same way. ;)

But I do like FB for the most part. I've reconnected with a lot of old friends and family members on it. And I love quick access to photos.

[Katzateer]

But I do like FB for the most part. I've reconnected with a lot of old friends and family members on it. And I love quick access to photos.

Yes, I do enjoy keeping up with people since we have moved far from friends and family.

If someone asks an opinion they shouldn't get upset with a truthful answer!!:confused:

[MissMaryPoppins]

That never happened to me but it drives me. It's when people do it, along with cryptic status updates. They're clearly fishing for attention and when someone asks they say "it's personal". Then keep it that way!

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

A lot of times, people come to me (in person, face to face or on the phone) with a situation. I've learned to ask them, are you coming to me to vent or because you want help with a situation? Because if you just need to vent, tell me so, otherwise I'm gonna try to help fix it! Maybe that was the same thing that happened to you, except that she asked for help!?

And yeah, some people are just drama queens and need an excuse to stir up controversy. (Sp?) They think it makes their little lives look more interesting I guess.

[TinkerbellT421]

And yeah, some people are just drama queens and need an excuse to stir up controversy. (Sp?) They think it makes their little lives look more interesting I guess.

That could be a possibility because she always is quite the pot stirrer. Always complaining, griping or arguing with someone.

[NJGIRL]

IMO Facebook is evil :thedolls:. And I am not kidding. I have never been that into it because I feel my life is not interesting enough to post about it everyday lol. But I have known so many people who have lost friendships over facebook postings. I go on facebook every once in a while but always avoid anything but "light" conversation.