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Dopey's Girl
07-17-2012, 03:06 PM
My brother and his family could use some pixie dust. SIL announced to my brother that she wants him to move out. *He called crying (he's worried about their 2 young kids, if it wasn't for them, I'm pretty sure he would have left long ago) so I spent the morning with him. I just got home and now I'm the mess. *Those poor kids, just breaks my heart! I adore them and hate what this could do to them.

She won't do therapy or counciling, so he's kind of at a loss on how to move on. He's a stay at home dad with a night job, and will continue to be with the kids during the day, so that's good.

Any prayers and positive thoughts you can spare would be most apreciated right now. Thanks.

Disney4us2
07-17-2012, 03:12 PM
So sad, hope it works out for him. No advice, just lot and lots of:pixie::pixie::pixie::pixie::pixie::pixie:

minnie04
07-17-2012, 03:48 PM
I have just gone through this with my brother. I can tell you PLEASE DONT LET THE KIDS BECOME PAWNS!!! :( It got really ugly on both side of his divorce. He is the one that wanted it, but they both knew it was coming. It was a nightmare for all of us to be in the middle. Please tell him to try and stay calm at all turns. Don’t let things get him upset/mad in front of the kids. They hear and absorb EVERYTHING!!! We all thought it was going to be cut and dry. Boy were we wrong. I would just tell him to get a very good lawyer and try to make it as civil as possible. It will take time, but tell him in time it gets better. My brother and his EX finally got on the same page and it’s been better. If he is a good father he will be a GREAT single DAD!!! I have always felt if you’re not happy in something you need to get out I would NEVER stay for children in any relationship. The kids will be better off with two parents that love them even if it’s from different addresses. He will become closer to them in the end. I know my brother has become the best dad (he was always good with them), but now all the drama is out of the way… They are so close to him. And she is better off too. They have parents that love them so much and can show it without the drama of the other person. It’s so nice to see the KIDS happy now. They are the priority!!!! NO MATTER WHAT!!

Good luck and I hope it turns out in the best interest of the kids :pixie: :pixie: :pixie:
I hope this makes sense :mickey:

Dopey's Girl
07-17-2012, 03:57 PM
Thanks Minnie04, that makes perfect sense. They haven't settled anything yet, but he's going to talk to a lawyer tonight, just to talk about options. He doesnt want a fight, but wants to be prepared all the same. He's an amazing dad (my 3 year old niece can count to 20 in English and Spanish, knows her colors, shapes, ABC's and can do 48 pc puzzles alone because of all the time he has put in with her.) and just wants to make sure they are safe and protected.

I know in the long run having two parents who can get along and do what is best for the kids will help the most, I jus hate knowing how much this is going to upset the kiddos.

CajunDisneyDad
07-17-2012, 04:27 PM
Of course :) One thing I have noticed about this group, they support eachother in their time of need. :tink::tink::tink::tink:

VWL Mom
07-17-2012, 04:54 PM
Sending good thoughts and pixie dust your way :pixie::pixie::pixie:

DVC2004
07-17-2012, 06:27 PM
So sorry :( ! Sending good thoughts and pixie dust. I am glad you are there for him an dthe kids during this tough time.

faline
07-17-2012, 07:40 PM
Sometimes apart parents are better for kids. I'm sure they both love their children. I hope they can work through this with the focus on what is best for the children.

PirateLover
07-17-2012, 07:46 PM
:( So sorry for your brother and his kids. I hope it all works out for the best, with as little drama along the way as possible. :pixie:

emerzmom
07-17-2012, 08:04 PM
I agree with faline. Sometimes when parents split it is actually better because there is less tension (even when you might not realize there was tension) and everything is more out in the open. There is a lot of parenting information available to help kids cope during this time. Pixie dust to the entire family.
:tink:
Julie

TheVBs
07-17-2012, 08:06 PM
Lots of :pixie: for all of you! I hope things work out amicably one way or another and that the kids are ok.

laprana
07-18-2012, 09:52 AM
I'm so sorry your brother and your whole family are going through this right now! Sending lots of :pixie::pixie: and good thoughts to all of you that things will go as smoothly as possible. :hug:

Dopey's Girl
07-18-2012, 10:50 AM
Thanks everyone. I know that in the long run, they will all be better off if my brother and SIL aren't together. Neither one of them is happy, and the kids (even at 3 and 18 months) can pick up on that.

It's just all the unknown that is freaking all the adults out. Sleep was pretty hard to come by last night. Dang 'what-if's' kept me up for a long, long time.

PAYROLL PRINCESS
07-22-2012, 08:50 PM
Meg, I don't want to scare you or your brother and I hope I'm wrong but it will probably get worse before it gets better. My sister's husband had her served right after we got home from my nephew's Make A Wish trip last June and it's STILL ugly. I can't believe what a horse's patootie he is being. It's especially worse when there are kids involved. Tell him to hang in there and fight for his rights with his kids. I wish him the best during this difficult time and hope it's resolved with zero drama and heartache!

BriarRose0708
07-22-2012, 08:57 PM
Meg, this must be so upsetting for you and your family. I hope your brother and SIL will be able to work this out amicably. As kids, my sister and I were used as pawns by my father through our parent's divorce. We were young (9 and 6) and didn't always know what was going on. It wasn't fun, it wasn't pretty, but we all came out the other side doing alright. I am sure you will give them all the love and support you can though this hard time. Pixie dust and good vibes to you!!!