Toddlers and Webcams (Video Chat)

[BrerGnat]

Do any of you have experience doing video chat with toddlers? Do they "get it?"

We try to do video chats with my sister and her 18 month old son, but he doesn't interact with us at all. He just stares blankly at the screen or just walks away. My sister says "he doesn't get it." I'm kind of surprised by this, as this kid watches Baby Einstein videos and plays with an ipad and iphone all the time, so it's not like this is something totally foreign to him.

When I say he doesn't interact, I mean he doesn't wave, try to talk, respond to questions, etc. I don't know how much he does this stuff in "real life", but I don't see how it would be any different interacting with people for real vs. on a webcam. I can't really speak from experience as my boys are both on the Autism spectrum and thus, any sort of "social interaction" has always been weird with them both in real life and through other means (phone/video calls).

It's just frustrating because since we are long distance now, all our interaction with this kid is via video means. When he did come to visit in March, he was much the same way. I just wonder if there's something more going on with him or if he truly just doesn't "get it." My sister is fond of making excuses for him, so not sure what to think. I don't have much experience doing video chats with toddlers. This was "new technology" 8 years ago with our oldest...and the webcams back then were awful.

[SBETigg]

Mine are older, too, so I don't know. But great question! I'm eager to see responses. I wonder if child development experts are covering this topic in books and on blogs now. It's a whole new world.

My development instincts, which are outdated, say his response is completely normal, by the way. I think the developing brain might process onscreen interaction completely differently from real personal interaction. There are completely different visual and audio cues with things like Baby Einstein than you probably use in real conversation and interaction. Interacting with technology and people will be different, I think. But I have no real idea.

[minnie04]

Not sure how much time you have given this, but maybe give it more. Maybe he is confused by seeing actual family members. I have seen videos (YouTube) with Military families that the smaller children are a little confused as to what is going on. They know its "daddy", but can’t understand where he is and why they can’t touch him.

Good luck and just keep trying...

Maybe you can try to make it like a video he has seen before. like playing music or dancing and see if that gets his attention. I would think that's what it is his attention span is'nt like an older child. Meaning if you are'nt a cartoon or someone singing and dancing he might not be interested..lol

[BrerGnat]

Sherri, I agree. However, what is curious is that my kids, even back to about the same age, were "interacting" with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. All those toddler shows have the characters "asking" the viewer simple questions, and they pause for a response. My boys were able to respond to simple questions that MICKEY on the t.v. was "asking" them, so I wonder how this is any different than that. :confused:

I would assume that a toddler seeing a family member wave and say "Hi Junior" would elicit at least a wave back and some sort of recognition of the other person on screen.

My nephew looks at us like he has no idea who we are. Kinda strange. He does that to my parents too, who actually see him about every 2 weeks since they live close to him. We did a video chat when they were HERE visiting us, and my nephew looked like he had no idea who they were.

So, just curious about other's experiences in this "new way of communicating."

[SBETigg]

Sherri, I agree. However, what is curious is that my kids, even back to about the same age, were "interacting" with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. All those toddler shows have the characters "asking" the viewer simple questions, and they pause for a response. My boys were able to respond to simple questions that MICKEY on the t.v. was "asking" them, so I wonder how this is any different than that. :confused:


Yeah, that's what confuses me, too. My kids would interact with shows. But I wonder if there's a difference somehow. We'll see what other people with experience with this have to say. I'm curious, too.

[buzznwoodysmom]

Natalie,

When DH did his first deployment we used a webcam to keep in touch. My kids were a bit older than the child your asking about. Oldest DS had just turned 5 and younger DS had just turned 3. They totally interacted with DH from the very start. There was never any confusion or "not getting it". DS3 may have asked "where is Daddy", but he was able to understand that we were talking to daddy just like on a phone, but with video. My kids called it the video phone. LOL.

[BrerGnat]

Natalie,

When DH did his first deployment we used a webcam to keep in touch. My kids were a bit older than the child your asking about. Oldest DS had just turned 5 and younger DS had just turned 3. They totally interacted with DH from the very start. There was never any confusion or "not getting it". DS3 may have asked "where is Daddy", but he was able to understand that we were talking to daddy just like on a phone, but with video. My kids called it the video phone. LOL.

Yep, that was our experience using webcams during deployments too. Our boys were 4 and 2 the first time and immediately "got it."

Guess I'm asking about kids who are a bit younger.

[minnie04]

I guess I was off on my comment. Now that Im reading more comments. I do see that you have tried everything. I'm sorry I miss read your post and I hope everything works out for your nephew.
Good luck and I wish you all the best ..:mickey:

[DisneyLandMomma]

My nephews are almost 5 and just turned 2 yesterday and we facetime with them all the time. The little one been "chatting" with us before he could really communicate, babbling, blowing kisses, waving, clapping, etc. In fact, he sometimes calls us himself when he has my brothers phone LOL and watching a regular video of my parents, he gets upset when they don't respond. I was gonna say maybe it was because he doesn't see you often in person, but you mentioned him doing the same thing with your parents, who he sees more often.

[BrerGnat]

My nephews are almost 5 and just turned 2 yesterday and we facetime with them all the time. The little one been "chatting" with us before he could really communicate, babbling, blowing kisses, waving, clapping, etc.

See, that's what I would expect. I find it odd that he doesn't "get it" yet...we've been doing the video chats regularly since we moved here (and he was only a baby).

[MstngDrvnDsnyLvr]

Have skyped off and on with my inlaws and the 3 grandchildren that they are raising. - This includes starting with our youngest nephew when he was still an infant and he's now 3 and at no time did he not interact with us on the video chats. At 3 his is a bit delayed because he was premature - his development all lines up with his original birthdate (he's starting to catch up). But he has always engaged, waved, 'chatted', etc.

If I were in your shoes - I'd be wondering the same things.

[Dragongirlx]

My older sister uses webcams to talk to my mother and sometime us and frequently has my 16 month old neice with her. My neice doesn't get the webcam at all. She can hear the voice and see the picture but can't work out what to do. She interacts with the TV all the time. My sister thinks its because the picture on her lap top isn't that good while the TV is clearer and much more colourful.

[2Epcot]

Our son is now 3, but we probably started using a webcam and Skype when he was about 18 months or so. My parents live in AZ, my wife travels to China a lot, so it comes in handy quite a bit.

His grandparents like using it when he is here in CA, and my wife has a been able to do it from China to talk to our son.

The amount of participation from our son is always hit and miss. Many times it just depends on what mood he is in. I think it has gotten better, the older he gets.

There are times when he doesn't want to sit in front of the camera at all, and other times he will just say there and talk. Often he will stay at the camera a short time, then go off and play with toys, but keep coming back.

Many times we just move the camera so the grandparents or my wife can still see him playing, and talk to him. It works most of the time.

[PirateLover]

I understand your concerns, and it seems like you have voiced them to your sister, so there's not much more you can do, honestly. It seems like you definitely feel like there's a problem, are concerned that your sister doesn't see what you see, and are looking for support to back you up. When it comes to people's children, though, it can be a really tough subject.

The fact that he interacts with all of those other things, but not the video chat, does seem odd. Maybe they have bad video quality? If he wasn't interacting with anything I would be really concerned, but if it's only the video chat, then maybe it really is a fluke thing. Just keep trying.

[BrerGnat]

Thanks for the responses everyone.

I was mostly just curious what I could expect from a kid that age where webcams are concerned. Looks like there is quite a bit of variability.

I have been concerned about my nephew from day one, due to numerous problems he's had. But, sometimes, I wonder if maybe I'm being a bit paranoid about everything. It's possible. :crazy:

[SBETigg]

I have been concerned about my nephew from day one, due to numerous problems he's had. But, sometimes, I wonder if maybe I'm being a bit paranoid about everything. It's possible. :crazy:

Interesting. I think maybe there could be some issues she is not catching or denying. Or it could be you, but doubtful considering you seem to be level-headed from what I know of you here. Still, I'm thinking she might be the type to be in denial. As Maryanne said, though, it can be a tough subject.

[BrerGnat]

Interesting. I think maybe there could be some issues she is not catching or denying. Or it could be you, but doubtful considering you seem to be level-headed from what I know of you here. Still, I'm thinking she might be the type to be in denial. As Maryanne said, though, it can be a tough subject.

You're right Sherri. I am maybe a bit ultra observant since both my boys have developmental delays and I know how very important early intervention is. With my second, we watched him like a hawk and he actually had quite normal development, except he had major delays in speech. For educational purposes, he has "autism" as far as the school is concerned, but we still don't think that diagnosis fits him. Regardless, he has been receiving therapy services since he was 16 months old. I don't know where we would be without all that.

This poor kid spent the first year of his life spitting up massive amounts, and I (along with my mom) kept telling my sister that was NOT normal and she kept dismissing it. Now, he's on all kinds of meds for reflux, and it took over a year for a diagnosis.

He seems to be about 6-9 months behind, developmentally, but because he was born at 36 weeks, my sister's excuse is always "It's because he was premature...he'll catch up eventually." But, my second son was also born at 36 weeks and he wasn't that delayed ever.

The whole situation drives me crazy, because she is a teacher (K and 1st grade) and she gets SO annoyed at the parents she has every year whose kids need help, but who are in denial about it. The irony is ridiculous.

Anyway, this was an area that I have no knowledge in (the webcam thing). I'm tired of hearing "he just doesn't get it" because he SHOULD "get it" by now.

When she and him were visiting here in March (when he was 15 months old), she tried to do facetime calls on her iphone to her husband (his dad, obviously) and he didn't even interact then! She just kept saying "why aren't you talking to daddy?" and then telling me, "he always wants to talk to him when we do these calls at home." Yeah, right. :rolleyes:

I keep my mouth shut now. I learned early on that she doesn't want to hear it, and if you say anything to her, she just makes excuses.

Poor kid. :( It's just hard to ignore all this every time we try to do a video chat...and it was bugging me, so I decided to seek some feedback here.