Another one....

[Kenny1113]

Here is another reassure me my kid's not the only one topic.

My DS11(JUST turned 11) really wants a call of duty, halo type video game. I see that they are all rated "M" for 17 and up. My argument to him has been, "I don't let you see "R" movies, why would I let you play "R" rated game?"
This is similar to the cellphone thread in that a lot of his friends and a couple of my friends kids all have these types of games. Again not wanting to create a socially awkward situation, I am torn....
Opinions please. TIA

[Kenny1113]

I should also add that I have never seen these games and I am going Strickly by the rating.

I also do not let him play video games for several hours. The video game consoles are in family areas.

[MstngDrvnDsnyLvr]

These games have extreme graphic violence. If you don't want them in your home, stick to your guns. We didn't have any Mature games in our household until our oldest son was able to buy them on his own after he turned 18. And then, for the longest time, they were only allowed to be played after younger siblings were asleep.

[VWL Mom]

When my boys were younger I didn't always go by the rating system but rather researched the games online for content. They did get Halo and Call of Duty but I think it was closer to age 13. Even though they are shooting games, they're more fantasy based IMO.

There were other games which I still don't want in my home, one specifically which I don't remember but you drive around and kill cops, another about gangs and drug lords....to realistic for me.

You know your child better then anyone and while I may think 11 is a bit young you may read the content and decide it's not. My only suggestion would be to not rely on the rating system and to do your own research.

I remember when we were young and watched war movies and westerns, I'm sure by today's standards they would be rated M with everyone getting shot up....we all survived.

[DVC2004]

I agree that it is up to you as the parent. My boys are 13 and 15 and they do play Halo, Call Of Duty, Red Dead Redemption. I do allow that. They have no problems with agression or violence whatsoever behavior-wise. I will also allow them to watch some R movies. Obviously, they watch them with us so it's not a situation when I am renting a movie for them and leaving it on unsupervised. We also do not have streaming movies at their access. There are several movies I wouldn't consider appropriate and I don't rent them. It really depends on the movie. I have seen worse on Youtube than I have in most movies.

[Dulcee]

I'd be a no go on the video games. My sister, mother and I usually agree on parenting things. This is the one where we don't. Mom and I are very against the graphic, violent games. Sister, not so much. My fiance's young bother (13) also plays them.

Frankly I find them disturbing. We've already had the discussion that there will be no violent video games period in our home, whether its him or kids who want them. My fiance is a cop. In our house its important that guns, shooting someone, possibly taking someone's life, is never to be thought of as a game.

Growing up I wasn't even allowed to play with water guns, Mom found them violent. It would seem that has rubbed off on me in some ways.

[disney obsessed]

My opinion.

No

[AvaNellMouse]

My opinion.

No

Exactly.

[TinkerbellT421]

I don't have kids. But, if I did the answer would be no. IMO. Those games are extremely violent, especially if they are allowed to connect live, they tend to get even worse with most adults and teens swearing profusely and calling each other some pretty nasty things, it can get out of hand quickly. Those games start to look more and more realistic. I personally think if you are torn on wether or not to follow the "norm" of most kids having them, I wouldn't stress about that, and follow your heart. YouTube some videos to see the game in action and if you feel it's too violent then follow your gut.

[Lizzy]

My oldest son is 13, we have let him play these types of games for about a year.

The games are in the general family area and I do not let him just sit and play all day.

Honestly, they are just video games. They are graphic and violent but they are fantasy. I let him read books that have some of that content and he is just fine. To me it's about teaching them about understanding what is real and what is not.

Before age 12 though, I think it is pushing it, of course that could depend on your particular child's ability to understand the differnce between reality and video games.

[Kenny1113]

Thank you for all the replies. This helps. It gets to a point where you start to wonder "am I being to harsh????"





I have seen worse on Youtube than I have in most movies.

I agree!!!!! I have revoked YouTube privileges from the kids already......if there is something they want to watch, they tell me and I watch it before they do.

[SBETigg]

I wouldn't let my son get Mature rated video games until he was older, but I think it was more 15-16 and not the recommended 17. He still teases me about it, too, as in he believes I was being ridiculously overprotective. He's 21 now.

When he was younger than 15, but over 12, I actually didn't have a problem with him seeing certain R rated movies once they came out for us to watch with him at home, so I don't know why I was such a stickler about the video games. I guess because I don't play the video games with them to know what would come up as an issue, but I was available to watch the movies with them and explain anything I felt needed discussing.

[CMCTxMom]

My kids are both younger than that (7 and 4), but I've taught middle school for 11 years. I'd say N...O... And I will when my DS gets older and wants them, too. There're plenty of other video games that they can "shoot" that are less realistic. But I spend most of my days with adolescent boys who try to act more grown up than they are - than they should NEED to be at the age of 12. And IMO, what a lot of them lack is an adult in their household to stand up and tell them NO to things. Pick your battles, of course, but I'm not keen on allowing that kind of thing. My kid can play Fruit Ninja if he wants to cut something up. :)

Again... My opinion...

[MstngDrvnDsnyLvr]

Okay - a previous poster mentioned watching movies - war and western - growing up:
War and Western for my childhood starred John Wayne, Jimmy Stewart, and Gary Cooper. And while people did get shot, it wasn't always shown fully (You'd see the gun being 'shot' and a person go down clutching their chest) BUT THERE WAS NO BLOOD. There was no heads being ripped off and blood spurting out of their necks. These movies are PG at worst MAYBE PG-13 for some of the newer ones from my childhood.

Now Movies shown on the big screen in my childhood - PG-13 was created during my childhood and has been redefined many times over since. Video games didn't need ratings during my childhood as there was nothing scary with a Funky Round creature missing a pie wedge chasing and being chased by ghosts. The advent of more violent video games (and some are very graphically violent and show drug use and other activities that many do not want their children to be exposed to until they are mature enough - let children be children) has pushed for the need to have a ratings system and restrictions on purchasing. Sad, but oh so true.

You can go to the ESRB (dot)org website directly and look up why video games got the ratings they did - it usually goes into more detail than the box does.

And for movies - Kids In Mind does a great job at breaking down the reason movies got their ratings and even tells you how many times certain curse words are used, how much drug use there is, how many nude parts are shown, etc. I loved this site when my children were younger and determined via MY child's maturity level if they could watch DVDs with us or if we needed to wait til bedtime.

As for video games - my husband just didn't play many M for Mature games so he didn't purchase them. He was quite happy with his football and baseball games. When our older sons (twins) were old enough to play them, we didn't want our younger two children (5 yr age difference between twins and next child) exposed to that and we chose not to purchase for them. Now, they played at friends houses - no problem - and when they were of NC Legal age AND had their own money - they purchased knowing what the house rules were for the game systems.

[HollyB]

The "everybody is doing it" line didn't fly in my house. When the kids were younger, my son said, "You're so Amish, Mom," because we wouldn't let him see R rated movies and play violent video games that supposedly "everybody else" saw or played. But now that he is older, he's actually admitted that he gets why we had those rules and says that his friends who had no boundaries in those ways are actually less well adjusted in many ways than he is.

Your house, your choice, of course, but make it your choice and not his. He'll survive whatever you decide, and you'll be able to sleep at night at peace with your decision.

[disney obsessed]

I believe that children are being desensitized earlier and earlier. They have their whole life to be grown ups. Isn't this one of the reasons we love Disney so much? Innocence, a simpler time, no worries.

My 16 yr old was at the movies with her dad the other day and a preview for the exorcist remake came on. When it was over she saw that it was rated pg 13. She turned to her dad and said, "no way is that pg 13!". Of course, the whole theater heard her. They applauded.

[tinksmom02]

I would also say no, but then again, my daughter is almost 10 and does not have a cell phone :blush:

[Aurora]

Nah, too young. (Actually, I don't know how some of these games are appropriate for anyone, but I'm a girl, and my DH assures me that they're no big deal for a teenage boy.)

However, I do think the ratings system is a bit out of whack. I give my son the 3rd degree when he wants to buy a game (he has to buy them himself) and then take a look at it on YouTube or a promotional video. Then I can make a better decision.

[Disney Doll]

I have seen those games. My husband is a COD junkie and it is most certainly not appropriate for children. Aside from the extreme graphic violence, your child will be exposed to all kinds of trash talk from other online gamers. In fact, that's my #1 gripe about these game. Other players are really crude with their language and tend to target young players.

[Mousemates]

We held off on the Call of Duty type games until our son was a teenager...however the big issue with the games is not the violence of the games themselves, because while it is really graphic- at thirteen our son was certainly able to differentiate between the fantasy world of video images and reality. On-line he (now 17) apparently is a upper echelon player, off-line he is still the same gentle laid back guy he has always been.

No, to me (as others have mentioned) the bigger issue with the online gaming comes from the verbiage and not so nice (and sometimes down right creepy) characters they encounter while playing...to me that is where the real need for maturity comes in and where a younger boy might need a few years under his belt to handle things.

[Mickey'sGirl]

My comment is also that the biggest issue (in my opinion) is the on-line gaming. We do not subscribe to X-Box Live, and my DS14 understands that, and why. He does not argue the point. My friends here at work are 30ish year old guys, who play COD on line, and they warned me "Do NOT let him play on line". They tell me the way that the gamers talk to one another is jaw droppingly awful. I trust their judgement, and continue to disallow the on line stuff. My husband is not a big gamer, so he's not into the stuff ... and this also helps in setting limits.