PDA

View Full Version : Proposal planners? :0



MNNHFLTX
02-05-2012, 01:23 PM
I just heard about these last week and today in the newspaper there was another article on them. I am befuddled--is this what we are coming to in our culture, that every "special" moment in our lives has to be planned out by a stranger as an "event"? I never considered myself old-fashioned, but the idea that a guy (or girl) might put some thought into how to pop the question on their own and then carry it out is what makes it romantic and personal. Hmm, maybe I am old-fashioned. :shake:

ImagiAsh
02-05-2012, 02:23 PM
I don't know too much about this service, but perhaps it could benefit some people who have an idea for the proposal, but need help planning the execution of it. (ie: coordinating a public engagement at a baseball stadium -- not that I would ever want to be proposed to like that! :ack: ) If that's the case, I think it's a neat service. Otherwise, I also would hope for an original, well thought out proposal by the guy proposing to me.

Janmac
02-05-2012, 06:05 PM
The whole idea of proposal seems weird to me. DH - back before he was DH - said to me about a month after we'd met, "I'm ready to get married". No down on one knee, and will you do me the honor or whatever.

And I said, "Well, I'm NOT!" No yes of course or even a plain no.

After some discussion we decided waiting was good (him) and it might be a long time (me).

About three months later it occurred to me that, really, we could get married - what was I waiting for?!? So while sitting on the couch watching tv with the kids playing on the floor (he was divorced with full custody of 3 kids and no child support) I said, "Ok, let's get married".

Next day he picked out the rings and I paid for them.

IF DH had thought some sort of formal proposal was necessary, he would have had an idea of how he wanted to accomplish it, but he would definately have required aid and assistance (proposal planner) in making it actually work.

The other thing that amazes me - and I'm not meaning this in a bad way at all - is an engagement that lasts several years. I understand saving for a wedding, etc. I guess our wedding and honeymoon were in keeping with the [lack of] proposal. We got married at City Hall basically (if memory serves, it was called something else at Norfolk), and went camping for the rest of the week. :D

Jan

MNNHFLTX
02-05-2012, 06:41 PM
I know what you mean, Jan. My husband and I gradually started talking about marriage long before we officially got engaged. And it was not a splashy event when we did get engaged. I had helped him move up to NH for a new job (I was living in Orlando at the time) and on our last night there we went to a quaint little restaurant At the end of the meal he told me how, faced with being separated by distance, he had come to realize how much I meant to him and that he didn't want us to be separated again. He gave me a beautiful ring and that was it. And it was beautiful.

The problem I have is that the "events" surrounding a relationship--engagements and weddings, in particular, seem to have come to mean more than the enduring love they are supposed to symbolize. People will drop thousands (and thousands and thousands) of dollars to have the "perfect" wedding and be the "perfect" bride. Statistically, 50% of those marriages will end in divorce (does Kim Kardashian come to mind?) Personally, I would rather focus my energy on developing the skills to maintain a loving marriage than trying to create the "perfect" engagement or wedding, or paying someone else to do it.

Janmac
02-05-2012, 10:21 PM
Personally, I would rather focus my energy on developing the skills to maintain a loving marriage than trying to create the "perfect" engagement or wedding, or paying someone else to do it.

Exactly. You hit the nail on the head. It's like that saying that life is a journey - same with a marriage. It's just the first step in a long - and sometimes unhappy - journey, even in the best of relationships. In about six months we'll be having our 40th anniversary. Kinda makes a person wonder where the time went.

Jan

Dulcee
02-06-2012, 08:44 AM
My Fiance had enough of a time keeping his head about him to propose with just the two of us in his childhood bedroom. I can't imagine him trying to coordinate an event! Even with someone's help lol


People will drop thousands (and thousands and thousands) of dollars to have the "perfect" wedding and be the "perfect" bride.

But, about this, since I'm currently wedding planning myself. You'd be amazed what the wedding industry and friends and family will tell you you "need" as soon as the planning begins. When I talk to family or friends and tell them we haven't taken out a loan to pay for our wedding, are paying for it ourselves or decided on a two year engagement so we could save the cash to do it we get looks like you wouldn't believe. Even more amazing are the reactions I get from people when I say we'll be making our own cake, or doing the flowers ourselves. Or my future mother in laws reaction when I said I was adamant that we'd be having an intimate wedding and no that did not include her third cousin's mother. Or my Mother's reaction when we found THE dress but I decided to wait a few months to see if I could buy the sample when the gown was discontinued (It was, and it saved me over $1500.)


My fiance and I are pretty grounded and valued buying a house together before a huge splashy wedding. But I feel bad for young women who get this constant feeling of there is something wrong with you or your relationship if you aren't willing to go into debt for your big day. Its unfortunately a very real pressure out there.

TinkerbellT421
02-06-2012, 08:46 AM
DBF insists he would never get married again. Me, I'm whatever about it, would I like to? Maybe someday if the mood struck us that way I would like to make us "official" but under no circumstance would I want a big flashy wedding. I'm a spare of the moment, on the spot, let's go type of person, so it would be a a town hall wedding and a huge party for celebrating :mickey:

My mom and dad never had a big fancy wedding, they were 6 kids later, married for 40 something years until the day dad passed away. Mom has never wanted to nor cared to ever meet anyone again. They got hitched just the two of them and lived apart for about a month because at that time French couldn't marry Italian so mom's parents didn't like dad lol Then they lived happily ever after. And dad never even gave mom an engagement ring.

Kairi_7378
02-11-2012, 09:40 PM
You'd be amazed what the wedding industry and friends and family will tell you you "need" as soon as the planning begins.

You've really hit the nail on the head here. My husband and I also paid for our wedding entirely ourselves, when we were 23. We weren't as brave as you about baking our cake, so I am super impressed. Our wedding was pretty simple, but in the end, we were just as married as some of our friends and relatives who spent 10-15 times what we did on our wedding.

OP, I have never heard of a proposal planning service, but I have heard of some pretty over the top proposals!

Ian
02-12-2012, 01:10 PM
It's hard to believe how easily convinced some people are that they have to go to these outlandish lengths to have the "right" wedding.

DW and I had a wedding that virtually everyone who attended says was the best wedding they've ever been to. It wasn't low budget, but it was by no mean high end either. It was just a nice, normal wedding and everyone danced, drank, ate, and had a lot of fun.

Trust me ... neither DW nor I would trade our wedding day for any wedding day the fanciest "wedding planner" on Earth could plan.

I really thought we were moving away from this bigger, bigger, bigger society we've had for the last twenty years or so. With the housing collapse and the subsequent five years of recession I really thought more people were "getting it", but it seems there are still lots of people out there we would be willing to mortgage their futures just to have some sort of crazy, overpriced wedding.

Sad to me ... very sad ...

PirateLover
02-12-2012, 02:13 PM
I have to admit I'm a bit surprised that there is enough demand to justify this being someone's one and only line of business. I imagine most of these proposal planners must plan other big events, too. That being said I'm not TOO surprised, as there have been shows about proposals for a while. There used to be one on TLC called Perfect Proposal, and it seems like every day there's a new viral flash mob or other kind of unique proposal making waves on the Internet. I don't have an issue with someone wanting a memorable proposal. However, I think most people would be able to pull of their proposal on their own with maybe some help from friends, family, and maybe the people who work where they are looking to propose. people have come to these very boards looking for proposal advice. I know WDW has a service for proposal planning, as do most arenas/stadiums, hotels. I think money could be better spent but I do understand the desire for an exciting proposal. I love watching/hearing proposal stories. My husband proposed to me at WDW but didn't have any help. It was private and romantic and I do have to say I enjoyed it and remember it fondly, and I still enjoy telling the story.:)