Getting a puppy VS. Adopting an older dog (Young kids in the house)

[BrerGnat]

Ok, I need some advice.

We want to get a dog in the near future. Our older DS has autism, and he loves dogs, but he is very particular about what kind of dogs he likes. He does not like high energy dogs, small dogs, or dogs that are "in your face" all the time. He seems to gravitate towards the retrievers (Goldens and Labs). He is 7 years old.

Our other son is 5, and he likes all animals. However, he has a hard time following rules sometimes due to auditory/speech issues, and he is openly defiant a lot. It will be a challenge to teach him the right way to behave around a dog (basic stuff, such as "leave the dog alone while its eating, sleeping, etc.). He is the kind of kid that always wants to be petting animals. He is very gentle in that regard.

I have narrowed our breed choice down to a Labrador. I don't want a long haired dog (had a couple of those when I was younger...did not like the high maintenance). Ideally, I'd like a calm dog that can just roll with the (sometimes) chaotic nature of our house. Our kids have issues, and they have meltdowns a lot, are loud and rambunctious as little boys are, but they are good kids and I think we could ALL benefit from having a dog in the house. I am fully ready to be 100% responsible for this dog, I do not expect my kids to do much more than help feed and bathe it (which the older one is dying to do). I want them to have a companion, and I think our older son will benefit emotionally from having a dog.

Now, the question at hand: Get a puppy from a breeder (there are LOTS of reputable ones around here) or find a rescue Lab from an organization (there are several of these local as well)? Which is the best option for us?

I have looked into both options. On the one hand, getting a rescue dog means you know what you are getting, and I like that. However, most organizations have a very small number of dogs who they will place in households with kids under the age of 8. Not always knowing the dog's history means you never know how they were raised to deal with a household full of children. Our options might be limited or nonexistent here, given the ages of our kids. Plus, I know these dogs often had traumatic past lives, and I am not sure that bringing a dog like that into a household like ours would be fair to the dog.

On the other hand, I've read more than a few books/articles about getting a puppy with small kids in the house. The overwhelming majority of them recommend that all kids be aged 7 and up before bringing in a puppy, due to puppies nipping a lot and needing constant supervision. And, the issue of having young kids who leave small toys lying around the house is bad for puppies who like to eat everything in sight (and this is our kids...there are constantly legos, hot wheels, action figures, etc. all around the house). Plus, there is the extra work a puppy brings (on my part) and the uncertainty of what type of dog the puppy will turn out to be.

So, what say you Intercot dog experts? We are looking to do this sometime in the next 6months, probably after the new year. I have time to think about it and make the best decision for our family, but I need some advice.

[VWL Mom]

I would say go for a rescue if you can do it. Petfinder was a great site when we were looking and ended adopting from. There are puppies for rescue if that's the way you are leaning. Ours was 3 months old when we got her. She came to us from TN via transport.

DS16 had auditory issues when he was young. We adopted a cat for him and it was a healing experience. IMO she sensed that he needed her and would not leave his side (she still sleeps in his room and paces when he's not home).

Good luck!

[floridamom]

Having both raised a lab puppy and rescued an adult lab mix, I will say that the puppy required WAY more attention, training, supervision, exercise, activity and resources. In your situation I would recommend an adult dog if at all possible.
As VWL Mom said, Petfinder is a great place to start. You might also ask around local vet clinics, as they frequently come across cases of good dogs whose owners may no longer be able to care for them. We have rescued two dogs, even with young kids. Rescue organizations are pretty good at determining which dogs do well with children while in foster care. They want they placement to work out as much as you do.
You may have to be patient, but I believe the right dog for your family is out there!
Good luck!

[disney obsessed]

Hi.

I have raised/bred labs for years. We currently have a 4 yr old and a 4 month cavalier king charles.

The main thing I would talk to potential puppy parents about is that this puppy will not be the calm, serene animal they remember from past labs for at least 3-4 years. A lab puppy is extraordinarily active with jumping, biting, scratching. They are very 'in your face". Many of my owners have gotten back in touch and said, you were right, I forgot what a lab puppy is like. (One of mine, at about 2, ate all of the rose bushes in our yard. Yes, they had big thorns.) They do respond well to training, but are still pretty active until the 3-4 year old mark.

There is nothing like a puppy, but you have to be ready for it. I am still potty training my cav at 4 months. She still will not come when called but we are working on it. Many trainers do not recommend starting formal training until they are 6 months old. Can you hold on for that long? and then be ultimatly patient and consistant with the training. If one person in the house lets a dog get away with something and another does not, they will not understand why they are disciplined when they do it again. Which is why my lab constantly begs. This drives me crazy. My children feed him table food all of the time and I cannot break either of them of it. And I have tried. A lot.

Labs have the basic personality to be great dogs and they are my favorite. It sounds to me that an adult dog with no history of poor parenting would be best for you. I would get in touch with local breeders and local vets. Talk with them and see if they know of anyone who is no longer able to take care of thier dog because of finances, or age or deployment. There are a lot of reasons someone has to give up a beloved family pet and would be so very grateful to know that your family will love it as much as they did.

This is just my opinion of course, but it sounds like you already have a high maintainence household. You need a low maintainence dog.

Good luck!

[disney obsessed]

Oh I forgot. My current lab ate the walls of our laundry room. Three of them needed to be replaced. Walls that is, not the dogs!

[Dulcee]

First off, good for you being responsible about your dog search. I work with a rescue group and we constantly get dogs back from families who just don't put this kind of time and effort into the hunt.

I grew up with a lab. She was the sweetest dog on the face of the planet and would tolerate anything, including our guniea pig eating her hair. But I remember her from her older years. Talk to my parents about her as a puppy and they have some fabulous stories of eating straight through a wall, making a break from the front door for the ocean and being hell on a leash to walk. She has since passed over the rainbow bridge and my parents have had many dogs since.

Once I moved out my Fi and I knew we wanted a dog. Originally we wanted a puppy, my only experience was bringing a purebred puppy home. Frankly bringing in an adult mixed breed dog scared me. Then we hooked up with this rescue group and met our current pooch, Harley. We adopted Harley when she was about 4 years old, a mutt of possibly german shepherd husky background. We've had her about a year, talking to my parents, his parents and extended family she's the best dog they've ever met. And she comes from a stray background.

Long story short, I've never once regretted bringing in an older dog. She's the love of my life.

In your situation with two young kids, especially with one who can't handle an up in your face dog, I'd stay away from bringing home a puppy. An adult dog from a responsible rescue group will likely be house broken, crate trained and leash trained. With a son who doesn't like a dog licking their face knowing the "sit" command on day one will be important. Another benefit to a dog from a rescue group, most foster their animals. Be up front about your situation and you can find a foster who will come from a house with children. This way you have an animal coming in accustom to young kids who don't always stop petting or grabbing when they are suppose to.

A huge benefit to a rescued mixed breed is generally a healthier dog in the long run. Years of "pure" breeding has led to health issues, in Labs you often see hip and elbow dysplsia, retina deterioration, and hypothyroidism. While many pure bred puppies live happy healthy lives it is something to consider when purchasing from a breeder.


One more word of caution, looking up breed standards are a great way to get a general idea of temperament, health standards and training expectations but EVERY dog is an individual. I've met some VERY neurotic labs through our rescue group who were adopted from breeders because they had "calm" parents. I've also met some chihuahuas who defy breed standard and really just want to sleep all day. Get to know some local rescues, describe to them the size, temperament, grooming requirements etc that you want from a dog. Let them tell you who they have that fits that bill. Rescue groups take the time to get to know their dogs and they will be able to match you up well. They want their adoptions to be successful! Getting stuck on a specific breed can lead you away from a dog who might be perfect for you.

Best of luck!

[MstngDrvnDsnyLvr]

Honetly, with your household - I would choose to rescue an adult lab. There are rescue groups everywhere that specialize in specific breeds and with Labs being the most popular breed in the US; there are dozens of lab rescue groups.

Good luck with it!

[McLiberal8]

Also, have trust in your local shelter/rescue staff. Explain to them your situation - I worked at a shelter for about 3 years, and the adoption counselors were amazing about knowing EACH dog, and knowing which would be best for a certain situation.

[kakn7294]

I would also go with an adult dog. I remember when we got our puppy, the vet told me she'd lose some of that puppy energy when she reached the age of 2. It finally happened when she reached the age of 12! With an adult dog, you can much more clearly see the dog's personality, energy level, how it reacts to situations, etc. When searching for you new friend, be cautious of any dog that displays food or toy aggression or that nips or jumps during play. Perhaps you can find a rescue that will allow you and your family to spend some time with your potential new family member before you take him or her home. Good luck to you!

[NewDVCowner]

I just want to chime in and agree with everyone else. Go for a rescue of an adult dog. A good rescue organization will listen to your needs and match you up with a dog that has the personality that will work best for you. On top of that an adult dog is (generally) already potty trained, crate trained, leash trained and, basically, just has some training. I adopted my mutt dog from a fabulous rescue group here in California when he was three and he's a great dog. I especially appriciated that I didn't need to go through with potty training.

After adopting Bailey I have basically pretty much figuring that I'll always adopt older dogs. Not only are they already through the most difficult time, there are so many adult dogs that needs homes because they're not puppies and it's heartbreaking when you think about how many great dogs are out there that are put down due to lack of space for them. Bailey was picked up from an animal shelter in Southern California in December by ARF (the rescue group) and he was there for THREE MONTHS before I adopted him. He is a fabulous dog and I don't know why nobody snatched him up sooner.

My mom has a dog that she adopted when I still lived with her. We had met the dog at a pet store and then went home. A few hours later we decided that we did want to adopt her so we called them up. They'd already packed up for the day but told us how to get to their home base and stayed open late for us to get her. That was her absolute last day there. if she wasn't adopted that day she would have been put down. To this day I have not met a sweeter, more loving dog than her and it breaks my heart to think just how close she came to being destroyed.

Anyway, those are my personal stories about adopting older dogs. I may have gotten off track but it's something I'm very passionate about. Long story short, I'd say go for an older dog. :blush:

[BrerGnat]

This is just my opinion of course, but it sounds like you already have a high maintainence household. You need a low maintainence dog.



This is 100% true. Absolutely.

Thanks for all the feedback guys! I am leaning heavily towards adopting a dog, but I'd like to get one that isn't much older than about 3 or 4.

I remember all too well the days of having a puppy. I'm not sure I'm up for all that at this point in my life. I distinctly remember the first few weeks of having a puppy and thinking I made a HUGE mistake by begging my parents to get me one (I was 12 at the time). And, that was a rather low maintenance puppy too...

I continue to welcome any advice you have, particularly where it applies to adopting a rescue dog.

[DebK]

I volunteer at our local animal shelter and would also recommend getting an adult dog. If you do a search for Lab rescues, I am sure you will find one. A lot of them have foster programs where a dog will already be living with a family so he/she will already be familiar with living in a house. Most rescues will want you to have a fenced yard and if you rent you'd have to show permission from your landlord. I have a Lab who will be 11 in February and he has always been great with kids.

[Tygger7]

I'll just echo what so many others have said...definitely contact a local Lab Rescue in your area and go with an adult dog. Good rescues will get to know you (via application process and interview) and match you up with the right dog. I've gotten all my pugs except for 1 from Ohio Pug Rescue. What amazes me (and maybe it's more of a "pug" thing, not sure) is that even though all my pugs have been through horrible & traumatic experiences (puppy mill, starved, abused, hit by car, etc.) they are the most wonderful and loving pets I've ever had. In fact the 1 pug that DIDN'T come from rescue that I raised from a puppy is the most neurotic and has anxiety issues. It's like they know how bad life can be and are just so appreciative of a loving home. Definitely start contacting rescues now and put in your application. I know it took almost a year for the rescue to match me up with my first pug. Let them know your time frame and should the right dog come into rescue, they can let you know and you can go from there.

Good luck!!

[Katzateer]

Sounds like you are going for a rescue which is great! Our golden is a rescue and we got him at 6 weeks so depending on what dogs are available at the time....I would get an older rescue and then look for a younger one so you have 2 to keep other company. Not sure if you can handle 2 but it is nice if you can. My sheltie loves her big buddy!

[Dulcee]

' What amazes me (and maybe it's more of a "pug" thing, not sure) is that even though all my pugs have been through horrible & traumatic experiences (puppy mill, starved, abused, hit by car, etc.) they are the most wonderful and loving pets I've ever had. It's like they know how bad life can be and are just so appreciative of a loving home.


This is without a doubt true. Our puppy (now 5:blush:) came to her rescue group heavily pregnant, 30lbs under weight and heartworm positive. Now healthy and happy it breaks my heart when she occasionally shies away from men carrying any type of long object. We don't know what she's been through but she has without a doubt not lost her ability to love and bond.

[NewDVCowner]

This is without a doubt true. Our puppy (now 5:blush:) came to her rescue group heavily pregnant, 30lbs under weight and heartworm positive. Now healthy and happy it breaks my heart when she occasionally shies away from men carrying any type of long object. We don't know what she's been through but she has without a doubt not lost her ability to love and bond.

My mom's dog, Madison, was like that too when we adopted her. She'd run and hide under a table whenever there were raised voices. She cringed away from my brother if he stood up too fast, and if we reached down and touched her when she wasn't expecting it she'd yelp. I can't imagine what that poor thing went through when she was young, but she still is the sweetest, most loving and lovable dog I've ever met. She's 16 now, mostly deaf but still just loves to be around her people. She's gotten over most of these hang ups, but every once in a while something with have her hiding under a table again. I think she really does know how lucky she is.

In fact, all of the dogs that my family has (seven between my mom, two sisters and myself) that have been rescued (six of the seven) seem to be really focused on their people. They just want to be around us, on us, with us, all the time. The one that wasn't rescued is cool with people, but doesn't have to be 'right there' all the time. It's very interesting to see the difference. I really do think that they know just how lucky they are.

[Stitchahula]

Labs are incredible dogs, I've owned 3 so far and they were all very different. The 1st one was very laid back, the 2nd one (a full sister to the 1st one, just different litters) was a puppy till she died, and our 3rd one is extremely HIGH energy (she came from a field trial breeder). As puppies they are very mouthy and that probably wouldn't be the best thing for your boys (my kids loved being human chew toys) so I'd go with an adult. I wouldn't go for anything under 3, they seem to develope a brain sometime around then. Check with your local animal shelter, as most people want puppies you could be saving a life. Your local vet might know of one of their patients that needs a new home also, and they would know the temperment. Good luck!

[Janmac]

We currently have a 13 month old Bichon in our household with a 7 yr old girl. Lots of crying over chewed toys - it's amazing what that little dog can reach when his mind is on it - and accidentally nipped fingers and scratched legs - his nails seem sharp all the time.

The Bichon is of course a higher energy dog than is a Lab. Our daughter's family has a 15 month old Lab puppy. We visited her at Christmas when the puppy was about 7 months and the girl was 6 1/2 approx. She was knocked down by the Lab, he was so glad to see her. He did calm down and she did learn how to manage him.

We have had 2 "rescue" dogs (for want of a better term) here. My sister brought us years ago from a vet or animal shelter a Border Collie who was very good with kids altho she had some issues with noise that she never got over. Usually sharp loud whacking noises rather than kids having loud fun. She was so good with kids, she would follow our toddler grandson around the yard, keeping an eye on him.

Currently we have an older Lab that has been with us some 8 years at least. He must be getting on for 12 years old. He was given to us because he needed a place to go. When he came to us he was very aggressive. Scarily so. He would not allow any touching of his head. I worked with him, calmly and firmly for several months. I eventually discovered he had been obediance trained. He loves to be petted on the head now, and is the best behaved dog we have. Even our neighbor, who dislikes and distrusts dogs, likes our Lab.

I have to agree with most of the posts here that your best bet is an older dog whose personality is known. Puppies are unknown as to personality and energy level and quite a chore sometimes to train. Meshing a dog with your household will be much easier and more successful with a known quantity.

Jan

[MNNHFLTX]

Also, have trust in your local shelter/rescue staff. Explain to them your situation - I worked at a shelter for about 3 years, and the adoption counselors were amazing about knowing EACH dog, and knowing which would be best for a certain situation.Totally agree with this statement and getting an adult dog from a rescue/shelter. Not only will you have best chance of getting a dog with the right temperament, but you will be giving a dog a home and a new chance at life.

[Mickey'sGirl]

Totally agree with this statement and getting an adult dog from a rescue/shelter. Not only will you have best chance of getting a dog with the right temperament, but you will be giving a dog a home and a new chance at life.
... You will be saving two lives. The life of the one you adopt, and the life of the one who can now go to the shelter.

Four of our last 5 dogs have been rescues. Two were breed specific rescues (we got a 2 year old Greyhound and a 7 month old Brittany), and the other two were from local shelters (one the SPCA when we first got married, and the other last year from a last chance rescue).

We also have a very busy life. We both work full time, have two Autistic sons, are busy in the community with hockey, swimming and volunteer programs. We have neither the time nor the energy for a puppy. An adult dog is usually house trained (in the case of our poor Greyhound, he was not), calmer and temperment is known by those who have spent time with him/her prior to adoption. I say approach a rescue organization and work with them to find the right dog for your family (our last adoptee actually chose us).

Good luck!

[NJGIRL]

Ideally, I'd like a calm dog that can just roll with the (sometimes) chaotic nature of our house.

I am fully ready to be 100% responsible for this dog, I do not expect my kids to do much more than help feed and bathe it (which the older one is dying to do).

Now, the question at hand: Get a puppy from a breeder (there are LOTS of reputable ones around here) or find a rescue Lab from an organization (there are several of these local as well)? Which is the best option for us?

I have looked into both options. On the one hand, getting a rescue dog means you know what you are getting, and I like that. However, most organizations have a very small number of dogs who they will place in households with kids under the age of 8. Not always knowing the dog's history means you never know how they were raised to deal with a household full of children. Our options might be limited or nonexistent here, given the ages of our kids. Plus, I know these dogs often had traumatic past lives, and I am not sure that bringing a dog like that into a household like ours would be fair to the dog.

On the other hand, I've read more than a few books/articles about getting a puppy with small kids in the house. The overwhelming majority of them recommend that all kids be aged 7 and up before bringing in a puppy, due to puppies nipping a lot and needing constant supervision. Plus, there is the extra work a puppy brings (on my part) and the uncertainty of what type of dog the puppy will turn out to be.

So, what say you Intercot dog experts?


Natile, I guess I am somewhat of an expert on this subject. I have been involved in animal/rescue work for over 20 years. If you want a calm dog a puppy is not the way to go. Most are high energy and a lot more work than an adult dog. I have been involved in shelter work for many years and can't tell you how many pure breed puppies they have gotten in because "they were much more work than expected".

I'm glad you know that the kids "interest" in taking care of the dog will fade very quickly. Kids want to play with their pets, not take care of them and most parents don't understand this. Again another reason many pets end up in shelters is because "the kids won't take care of them".

A big misconception is that dogs end up at shelters because they have problems, but the truth is that most end up at shelters & rescues because people are lazy and don't want to put in the time to care for them.

If you go through a rescue many will have a history on the dog, but even if they don't, most are living in a foster home so they do see the true personality of each animal.

Adult animals are already housetrained and if not, are easier to train than puppies. Their bladders are bigger and don't have to go out as often.

I am bias on the breeder issue. :soapbox: What makes a good breeder? IMO a good breeder would not breed when there are so many homeless animals dying in shelters everyday just because there are not enough good homes for all of them. Off soapbox now.

Because of your situation I would probably go through a rescue instead of a shelter because they can make sure all of your requirements are met. Rescues get most of their dogs from shelters anyway so you are still saving a life.

I have seen alot throughout the years (much more than anyone should) . Hope this helps.

[princessgirls]

We adopted a dog last year. I did not want another dog, but told my kids if the right situation came, I would consider it.

Minnie is a two-year old shihzu-poodle mix who was found walking on the streets in an inner city. She was on her last day in the pound when she was rescued. She had to stay with a foster family for 2 weeks to deem her "safe" to be with a family.

Our little Minnie is a joy! She came fully trained and a happy dog!! She is full of love!!
She was someone's dog, and I suspect that they couldn't afford her anymore. She is lucky that she didn't get hit by a car or put down in the pound. I believe that God sent her to us!! She has brought such JOY to our family!!
The right Dog will come for your family Natalie!
Julie:mickey:

[BrerGnat]

Thanks for all the feedback everyone! We are definitely going to adopt a rescue lab.

I really, really want the dog now, but we have to wait. We just moved here and are only guaranteed to be here until June of next year (since DH is attending school), at which point DH will pick up a new assignment. However, there is a possibility that his new assignment will be here as well, in which case we will be around for an additional 3 years after that. Moving was really hard on us and our kids, and we don't want to have to do that again so soon with a dog added to the mix, especially a dog that hasn't had stability for awhile.

We will find out DH's next assignment around January or so (hopefully earlier), and if we will not be moving, we will go ahead and start the adoption process.

[Carol]

As the Mom of 3 pups, one being a Black Lab, I cannot recommend adopting an adult enough.

My lab is the love of my life. Best breed ever. I also have a Pembroke Welsh Corgi and a German Shepherd (all great dogs, all raised from puppies). Puppies are a lot of work and you never know what you are going to get. I work at an Animal Hospital and see a lot of unruly dogs.

Good luck. :)

[BrerGnat]

My lab is the love of my life. Best breed ever.

That seems to be the overwhelming consensus. :) I just love those dogs. They always have such friendly faces! I think that's why my son is drawn to them.

Plus, the fact that they are predominantly the breed chosen as service dogs for kids with autism leads me to feel pretty confident that it would be a good match for our household dynamic.