Dulcee
07-12-2011, 07:48 AM
My future sister in law is getting married:bride::groom: this October, I'm one of her bridesmaids. She's a really sweet person who tends to do a lot for other people so I've been looking forward to being involved and making this special for her.
They got engaged over the winter a few months after my fiance and I. In May her parents threw her and her brother a joint engagement/birthday party. Just a backyard barbeque, nothing crazy, but nice. Her side of her family was there, her fiance's wasn't. Both my parents and my sister helped with food, wine etc because they had originally talked about throwing my fiance a birthday party and his parents had later said they'd rather just combine it with her engagement party. (We live 600 miles from our families thus every time we come home we end up celebrating something).
Move ahead to a few weeks ago and I've tried a couple times now to get in touch with my sister in law's two other adult bridesmaids on planning her shower. Her wedding is mid october, its already mid july, we need to get on this. Well despite emails and facebook messages I haven't heard back from either of them. So I had my fiance ask his mother if she heard anything and I was shocked by the response.
She said that because they had thrown her the engagement party in May they didn't think it was necessary to have a bridal shower. She said it didn't seem right to ask family to give another gift so close to the wedding. If the bridal shower is in early September that would be 4 months between them! Plus I always assumed that throwing the bridal shower was really the bridesmaids responsibility and not the family's.
Now I feel horrible. I would be crushed if my bridesmaids didn't throw me a bridal shower. I tried to explain to my Fiance that being only women is a different vibe, a different type of party and that traditionally bridal showers are always within a month or so of the wedding date. I don't know what to do. I know my sister in law threw her Maid of Honor's bridal shower, she'll be asked to participate in mine as she's one of my bridesmaids and now I'm being asked to just let that go?
I don't want to step on my Fiance's family's toes but I don't know what to do.:unsure:
Any thoughts? Do I just bite my tongue and let it go? Or do I try to push a little more? I'd hate to have her expecting one for it to just not happen...:(
They got engaged over the winter a few months after my fiance and I. In May her parents threw her and her brother a joint engagement/birthday party. Just a backyard barbeque, nothing crazy, but nice. Her side of her family was there, her fiance's wasn't. Both my parents and my sister helped with food, wine etc because they had originally talked about throwing my fiance a birthday party and his parents had later said they'd rather just combine it with her engagement party. (We live 600 miles from our families thus every time we come home we end up celebrating something).
Move ahead to a few weeks ago and I've tried a couple times now to get in touch with my sister in law's two other adult bridesmaids on planning her shower. Her wedding is mid october, its already mid july, we need to get on this. Well despite emails and facebook messages I haven't heard back from either of them. So I had my fiance ask his mother if she heard anything and I was shocked by the response.
She said that because they had thrown her the engagement party in May they didn't think it was necessary to have a bridal shower. She said it didn't seem right to ask family to give another gift so close to the wedding. If the bridal shower is in early September that would be 4 months between them! Plus I always assumed that throwing the bridal shower was really the bridesmaids responsibility and not the family's.
Now I feel horrible. I would be crushed if my bridesmaids didn't throw me a bridal shower. I tried to explain to my Fiance that being only women is a different vibe, a different type of party and that traditionally bridal showers are always within a month or so of the wedding date. I don't know what to do. I know my sister in law threw her Maid of Honor's bridal shower, she'll be asked to participate in mine as she's one of my bridesmaids and now I'm being asked to just let that go?
I don't want to step on my Fiance's family's toes but I don't know what to do.:unsure:
Any thoughts? Do I just bite my tongue and let it go? Or do I try to push a little more? I'd hate to have her expecting one for it to just not happen...:(