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View Full Version : Need intercot encouragement!!!! Please advise!



forever a child
12-02-2010, 01:59 PM
Ok, as so many of you are probably used to...people who love to revisit Disney are often persecuted by those who "just don't get it."

Well, my DD16 and I went on a trip this May after a 5 year rest from Disney. We thought this May trip would curb our desire for WDW for a while. We had an awesome time and wanted to head right back! LOL

I wanted to see WDW during Dec for Christmas and when a 40% off Room only pin came my way a week after returning from our May trip...I booked CSR with the hopes of making that happen!

Well, $ is tight but I sold over $2000 from my personal collection of stuff to pay for this trip. These are things I would not have parted with otherwise..but the desire to spend a Christmas trip in WDW with my DD just sounds so wonderful. My DD knows that THIS TRIP is her Christmas present...so not much will be under the tree this year. But she is a Junior is HS and we don't have much time together until she will be off to college.

Here's where I need YOUR help....my DD is also a competitive swimmer. She swims year around 11 months of the year. She swims even when we go out of town and she will be swimming when we go to WDW....we are requesting a room by the lap pool for her to get her practice time in. Her Coach (is a friend of mine...BUT) she is giving me and DD a hard time about this. She knows I am a single mom with very limited means...so she see's the expense of the trip and the fact that we already went once this year as a problem that "we are just trying to escape from the pressures of the real world" and that I am not being responsible as a single parent...and that my DD is missing one day (sunday) in a swim meet that is hurting her swimming for the season.

We both feel pressured but I think it is worse for my DD. I feel like we have every right to blow $2000 frivolously when I am selling my things to pay for it plus giving up Christmas gifts for my DD. Plus, my DD loves going to WDW and even though she wants to do well in her swimming...she wants to have some fun too. Not to mention that she want to do it with her MOM!

PLEASE help us to feel excited and good about this trip. We leave next Saturday the 11th as soon as my DD gets out of the pool from her last event, LOL. We both feel guilty right now and I would say something to her Coach...but I know she would still just keep talking so it would only make it worse. I am just trying to ignore her and teach my daughter that she is going to have to let some people's opinions roll off her like water and not let it ruin it for her. I am pretty sure the rest of my family will think it is dumb too...but none of them are Disney addicts like we are! So it is just us against them in our fight to visit WDW for the second time in one year. I have my cash in hand and we are ready to go!

Thanks!:santa3:

Gator
12-02-2010, 02:28 PM
Well, of course you're trying to escape the real world. That's why I travel across the USA, when I could just drive down to Disneyland. At WDW, you ESCAPE. There's no other place like it. I would ask the coach what she likes to do for recreation - then ask her why she likes that so much. It will be the same answer as you give for WDW, I'd be willing to bet. Besides, in another year, that coach will be history, but the memories you take from a Christmas trip to WDW will last forever.

My long term philosophy is this: kid sports = nothing; family time = everything.

faline
12-02-2010, 02:32 PM
This special mother/daughter time is extremely important! I never got to take such a trip with my mother and now she is gone. My next scheduled trip will be a mother/daughter trip!

Go...And Treasure your time together!

BrerGnat
12-02-2010, 02:33 PM
My long term philosophy is this: kid sports = nothing; family time = everything.

Well said! Honestly, I know she is a competitive swimmer and everything, but unless she is on track to be an Olympic swimmer (like, for real), don't listen to a darn thing this swim coach says that does NOT pertain to her job. You have every right to do whatever you want in regards to vacations for you and your DD. Your finances are none of the coach's business.

GO to WDW and have fun!!! I wish I could "escape the real world" right about now, but it's just not in the cards for us. :mickey: At least the coach "gets" what a trip to WDW is all about. ;)

Let it go. Your DD needs to learn that other people's OPINIONS only matter so much in the present, and really not at all in the long run.

lynnek
12-02-2010, 02:39 PM
The time you have with your kids without other pressures is valuable and will be gone in a heartbeat. We are new to this; just got back from our first trip to WDW. The amount of pressure I'm sure you have on you, plus the amount of pressure your DD has on her--a break is always a good idea. You should go with no guilt!!!!

Mickey'sGirl
12-02-2010, 02:50 PM
Competetive sport might be a child's only way to attend a good University via a scholarship, especially if his/her family has limited means. I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the importance of sport.

That said, one day of one competition is not likely to change her future. I would go and have a fabulous time!

Disney Hungarian
12-02-2010, 02:57 PM
I say, just go and have a great time. Life will be waiting for you when you get back. :mickey:

forever a child
12-02-2010, 02:58 PM
Thank you everyone. I am reading your posts to DD. She said she "Loves Intercot" LOL.


Competetive sport might be a child's only way to attend a good University via a scholarship, especially if his/her family has limited means. I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the importance of sport.


I agree with this..and we are aware that a scholarship is a possibility for her. But she is strong academically and will have options just because of her grades. Currently, her #1 college pick is a Division 3 private Christian college...so no sports scholarships are available to Div 3 Universities:( But she will be applying to some Div 1 schools as well. I know the coach is not happy that she will have a week off of swim practice just as much as the 1 day missed in competition. She is a breaststroker and if she misses practice more than a couple of days it can mess up her stroke for a bit...but she will be swimming and I just don't want to give up the Vacation time with her for something that may not even really matter when it is all said and done. I just want the time with my daughter. The pool will be there when we return.

Thank You!:deer:

Joannelet
12-02-2010, 03:08 PM
One meet missed is not going to destroy her swimming career.
In life we all work in order to LIVE....vacation is part of our living...it is also something that is MUCH needed.....You ARE escaping and YOU and YOUR DAUGHTER DESERVE IT!!!!!
I was a rec and leisure major in college so I understand how important a vacation is to every age.
You have sacrificed a lot in order to go on this trip so just let all the naysayers go. Your daughters swim meets, practices, school work will all be there when she gets back.
Make great memories and forget the rest!!!

mdhiggin
12-02-2010, 05:38 PM
We actually skip a week of school every year for our vacation, even though we have gone five other times to Disney this year. Our week right before the Christmas holidays is awesome. All the Christmas fun without all the Christmas crowds. My son is in HS and will miss wrestling practice and a couple of matches while out. Oh well. I also have two girls in elementary school. All principals have been alerted, aand notes have been sent. Everyone is okay with this absence and kids will be allowed to make up work. The one who has tried to make me feel bad about it is MIL. She is my youngest's Kindergarten teacher. When I asked if she needed her to make up any work, she said, "There's just some things she can't make up, like crafts, making ornaments, holiday parties and stuff." Please! Does she really think it's a big deal for us to skip school and that my Kindergartener is going to miss so much? Yes, absolutely she does. She always has, but we go anyway, because it is our family's right to make up it's own mind about these things. To us, if you pay your own way, have good grades, and otherwise rarely miss school, do what you want. It's sad that it's my MIL, but DH, her son, thinks she's crazy as a loon about a lot of stuff, not just this, so, at least I'm not on my own.

Enjoy your trip, I know I will enjoy mine!

Dznygrl79
12-02-2010, 06:21 PM
Family time is family time and no one should dictate how or when it is spent. The coach sounds a little overbearing to me. It is also none of the coaches business where you take your vacations. Especially when it comes to the holidays. Enjoy yourselves, take time to see all the gorgeous decorations, and enjoy the feeling of uninterrupted mother and daughter time.

jmj18
12-02-2010, 06:24 PM
You should go and have a GREAT time! Time goes too quickly and how you spend it (and your money) is YOUR business.

Have a WONDERFUL time and think of nothing else but where you are and who you are with.

:mickey:

SBETigg
12-02-2010, 06:27 PM
Your daughter is growing up and this fun time with her is precious. Enjoy it! It's all about the two of you. Unfortunately, there are negative people and people who feel the need to judge or criticize. These are the people we should block out sometimes. Life is too short. Stay excited and happy planning!

Tiggerlovr9000
12-02-2010, 11:13 PM
We are taking my dd who is a senior in high school out of school for a week in feb. to have what will be the last time we will have a family vacation before she goes off to college. Her cheerleading coach is also giving us a hard time about her being absent from a few games, She is not going to cheerlead in college.. I will not feel guilty and neither should you... Have a great time..:mickey::mickey::mickey: Good news is the school is fine with her being gone...

forever a child
12-03-2010, 01:14 AM
Thank you everyone for your encouragement. DD was getting down after coach was giving her a hard time. I was thinking "who could I talk with that would remind us of why WE want to do this?"...cause it sure wouldn't be our local family or friends who don't understand our love to visit WDW. Then I remembered....INTERCOT! :rocks:So I have been reading posts to DD. I told her so far its 100% vote to go and have fun...she laughed and said..."Of course!"

CAN'T WAIT!!! NEXT WEEK I WILL REALLY GET EXCITED ONCE LAUNDRY IS DONE, BAGS ARE PACKED, OIL IS CHANGED IN CAR, PETS ARE TAKEN CARE OF AND WE ARE READY TO HIT THE ROAD! :joy:

rubato
12-03-2010, 09:09 AM
I will chime in with GO, GO, GO!!!!

My son is on a highly competitive baseball team (even though he's only in 5th grade). We have missed a game here or there due to vacations. They don't like it at all (it does help that my hubby is an asst. coach though). We don't have the luxury of really practicing while on vacation, other than a little batting practice or catch here and there. You do. As long as she swims everyday, so what that she'll be missing one meet?

For our trip in January, I had to really talk hubby into it. He didn't want to go. Plus, I wanted to run the half and full marathons, which are pretty expensive. So, I sold a silver tea service and made over $2,000. It helped make the decision for him. Yes, we could have afforded it anyway, but it certainly helped to plead my case! :D

I also wanted to add that your finances aren't the swimming coach's business. As long as you are paying for swimming, she should stay out of it! Just my opinion!

Buttercup
12-03-2010, 09:23 AM
Who's her parent? YOU.
Who gets to decide if DD goes on a trip to the moon, to Africa, or to the neighbouring town? YOU.

She's your kid, it's your time together, everyone else's opinions are worthless. You take her to Walt Disney World and you have the most incredible time together. End of story. :mickey: :thumbsup:

PS- sounds like Coach is feeling left out. Boo hoo... :D

btharvey
12-03-2010, 09:25 AM
In this matter the coach (not the friend) has no business talking to you about anything but missing practice, and if this improves the outlook and sweetens the joy, by all means do it, both you and DD.

Your friend (not the coach part) doesn't seem to be listening to you -- friend is listening to the coach side and trying to use the friend part as leverage to get what she wants ... focused practice. Ah well.

Go. Enjoy. It'll be way too long before we get there next August! I envy you.

Melanie
12-03-2010, 10:19 AM
Have a great trip without worrying about the situation at home. You guys deserve your time away! :santa:

forever a child
12-04-2010, 06:51 PM
Thanks again everyone! DD and I are again excited about the trip (especially DD) which is what I wanted! I hated seeing her upset like she had made the wrong choice to do something that is important to her. Coach has been out of town for the last few practices (she is at another meet with some of the swimmers) but it gave DD a break from her! LOL:secret:

So now we just have to get our last minute stuff done, DD has to finish last week of school & tests, DD has 2 days of swim meet and then we are off! (not much to do! LOL)

Thanks again!:rocks:

rkmemkc
12-05-2010, 05:21 PM
It always amazes me that people's opinions effect us so much. (It bugs me too sometimes) You go on that trip and have a fantastic time (I know you will) and have no guilt at all!!! Another thing that amazes me that if she had a bad cold and had to miss swimming or school for a few days thats OK....its the same thing to me....our time with our families is irreplacable and should always be number 1. Coming down from the soapbox now...lol
:mickey:

faline
12-05-2010, 06:10 PM
Have a great trip and make some wonderful memories!

Frog
12-05-2010, 06:29 PM
in defense of the coach a little i would offer the following question...
Are there others on the swim team that this absence is going to affect? in other words is she missing a relay and other girls who train hard are going to be hurt by you guys going?? Its the coaches job to put together the best program they can...
But you too are doing your job as a parent, and if your daughter is still willing to go hang with you (many teens would not be!!!) and you can go get some qt time in before she graduates, then i say go for it!!

Just-Keep-Swimming
12-06-2010, 01:09 AM
My mother has been reading all your posts to me the past few days and I would like to personally say :rocks::thanks:!!! I usually dont post much, but you all have been so kind i just cant help but say thanks! :D

Both school and swimming are extremely important to me (probably thanks to my mother) so it did feel like an important decision to me. I will have so many meets this season that missing one day never seemed like a problem, especially for Disney:mickey:, but being out of the water for 10 days can effect my performance when I return. For every 1 day out of the pool, it will take me 2 days to get back in shape. That means almost three weeks after the trip I will be catching up. I plan to get in as much extra practice as possible though over the holidays. While at Disney, I will be able to swim a bit and what we call "dry lands" (pushups, crunches, etc.) but it wont be anything like a normal practice. Plus im sacrificing my afternoon nap... :sleepin: But it will all be worth it! How can i be tired and unhappy in the happiest place on earth?!?

So, in the end, im glad im going! And also, this will not effect my team as swimming is a very individual sport and, because of the many swimmers, my not being there for 1 relay will not hurt them in any way.

I would like to say :thanks: again! And Merry CHRISTmas and Happy New Year!

only 5 days, 16 hours till my last race is over and im in the car heading to the world! :cloud9::minnie:

diz_girl
12-06-2010, 07:25 PM
This post may be a little late for you before you leave for your trip. But don't let this get your DD down. As a former competitive swimmer from age 5 to age 18, all that I have to say is that you shouldn't feel bad about skipping the meet. I did not swim in college and rarely went near swimming pools for years after I stopped swimming. I'm not the only one who hates getting in the pool now, many of my fellow swimmers wouldn't get near a pool either. So years from now, she's not going to think to herself that she's sorry that she skipped the meet, but she probably would say to herself that she would be sorry to miss the trip. You're making the right call.

minnie04
12-07-2010, 12:03 PM
You can never put a price on spending time with your Daughter. The fact that she loves going with you is PRICELESS take that and run...I think this is the best thing for the both of you to do as MANY times as you can possible fit into your life schedules. Our children grow so fast and soon she will be out in the real world. Make this the best trip ever!!! Let people talk they only do that when they are 1 JEALOUS or 2 JEALOUS, sorry, but people who knock you for wanting to do something with your daughter really need to step back and see what a great mom you are for making her life so wonderful. I’m sure you work very hard all year. Taking care of her swimming schedule. Now it’s time you and her to enjoy a nice and relaxing trip together AGAIN..lol. The pool will always be there. Disney however might not (due to money) The weather is beautiful here come down and ENJOY it with your beautiful daughter.I hope you have a great time!!!! :mickey:

This just gets me when people knock us for wanting to go as often as we do :mad:

forever a child
12-07-2010, 11:12 PM
This post may be a little late for you before you leave for your trip. But don't let this get your DD down. As a former competitive swimmer from age 5 to age 18, all that I have to say is that you shouldn't feel bad about skipping the meet. I did not swim in college and rarely went near swimming pools for years after I stopped swimming. I'm not the only one who hates getting in the pool now, many of my fellow swimmers wouldn't get near a pool either. So years from now, she's not going to think to herself that she's sorry that she skipped the meet, but she probably would say to herself that she would be sorry to miss the trip. You're making the right call.


You can never put a price on spending time with your Daughter. The fact that she loves going with you is PRICELESS take that and run...I think this is the best thing for the both of you to do as MANY times as you can possible fit into your life schedules. Our children grow so fast and soon she will be out in the real world. Make this the best trip ever!!! Let people talk they only do that when they are 1 JEALOUS or 2 JEALOUS, sorry, but people who knock you for wanting to do something with your daughter really need to step back and see what a great mom you are for making her life so wonderful. I’m sure you work very hard all year. Taking care of her swimming schedule. Now it’s time you and her to enjoy a nice and relaxing trip together AGAIN..lol. The pool will always be there. Disney however might not (due to money) The weather is beautiful here come down and ENJOY it with your beautiful daughter.I hope you have a great time!!!! :mickey:

This just gets me when people knock us for wanting to go as often as we do :mad:

Thank you both so much! Both your posts made my heart warm and excited to spend this time with my daughter together. It really would not matter where it was...but this will be a special trip just because we are able to do it together.

Thank you Diz Girl....your wisdom after spending so much time in the pool as a swimmer during HS confirms what I felt all along. Appreciate it!

:magic: