Potty Training Help!!

[Dakota Rose]

OK so I need some unbiased advice.

DD is 2.5. We've been trying to potty train this last week. She's done #1 and #2 in the potty one time each. And we've had countless accidents. She normally says "go potty" as she's doing it or right after. She willingly sits on potty but only once has had success.

When I leave her pants-less, she holds it until I diaper her for a nap or bed. When I put her in pull-ups or underpants, she has accidents.

I'm debating whether I should put her back in diapers and try again in a couple weeks or just keep doing what I'm doing (which is a lot of laundry!) until she gets it.

what do you think?

(I potty-trained my son in 3 days at 2.5 and never had all these issues with him so I'm confounded)

[SBETigg]

What you are doing now sounds like an exercise in frustration for both of you. Unless there's a pressing need (preschool requirement) to train her now, I would just wait until she's more ready. There's no magic age- some kids are ready sooner, some later, and you have time before it's really a concern, I think.

[murphy1]

I agree with Sherri, one of my girls was like your dd, my oldest, so I feel for you. I also taught preschool and we did not expect them to be potty trained at our school. The funny part is that a lot of them wanted to learn it when they were with their little friends, not all, but some, like they were learning together.
I'm king of laughing over your son, b/c boys were always harder for us to get trained than the girls at preschool, so I think you are actually ahead of the game.

Shari

[BrerGnat]

All kids are different. It's said over and over again, but often forgotten.

My two kids were total potty training opposites. Both boys...older one had NO interest in the potty until one magic weekend when he was 3 years, 3 months old. He decided he was no longer scared of the toilet, "went" and that was that. NO accidents, and straight from diapers to underwear.

My younger son was a nightmare. He has control issues, and didn't want to do it until he was good and ready, regardless of how hard we worked with him. He was "#1" trained right after his third birthday. It took close to another YEAR for him to be #2 trained, though. It happened two months shy of his fourth birthday. Up until that point, he would "hold it", up to several DAYS, until we put a pull up on him so he could go in it, which led to quite a serious problem in the "#2 department", which we are still trying to resolve (he's almost 5...) with daily doses of Miralax, per doctor's orders. :(

My response when anyone asks for potty training advice is the following:

-Follow the child's lead, and don't even ATTEMPT it until the CHILD wants to do it.

At this age, kids have control over two things: eating and pottying. As a parent, these are two areas where you do NOT want to engage in "battle" with your child, because they are two areas where you can end up causing serious harm to their health by being too overzealous. Let the child develop the potty skill at his/her own pace.

My personal thought on the matter is that 2.5 is still rather young. You can introduce the concepts, and "practice", but remember who you are trying to train here. Early potty training usually ends up being (in practice) "training the parent", because it ends up being YOU taking the child to the potty every so often to prevent an accident, rather than allowing the child to tell YOU when he/she has to go, which is the natural way it should happen.

[Strmchsr]

I'm sure you'll get lots of answers, but my general feeling is in agreement with those above - kids do it when they're ready and there's no big need to force the issue. Every child is different. Both my boys potty trained in 1 day basically, but they weren't ready until 3.5. We didn't force it. So, maybe back off for a couple of weeks and see how your daughter responds then. No need to be in a hurry.

[RedSoxFan]

My boys were trained before the age of 2. My daughter, on the other hand, was 3.5 before she was ready. And it took a day and she was good through the night too. She did it on her terms!!

[azdisneymom]

You are seeing just how different every child is. What works for one may not work for another. Since you have been trying for a while you may want to follow your instinct to give potty training a rest. You can give it a try at another time. It will happen.

[crazypoohbear]

I think you as the parent need to set it up to make it easy for you. Whether you keep your kids in pullups or underwear if you put them on the potty every 2 hours for a few days they will get the idea. My boys needed to be taken away from whatever they were doing or they would have been too ingrossed to read their bodies.
It might be "training the parent" but every two hours and it's off to the potty. They eventually can read their body signals and then they take over.

[Disney4us2]

My DD was developmentally delayed. I tried at 2.5 but it didn't work. Around the age of 3 (just before) she was potty trained. We did the pull ups and then into undies. Never had an accident while sleeping. Every child is ready at their own time. Good luck.

[buzznwoodysmom]

Oh boy, just really want to wish you good luck. I have two boys and neither of them were potty trained until over 3 years old (both around 3 years and 3 months). With my first one our pediatrician recommended that we just stop and try again later. It was very obvious he just wasn't ready. Remember different kids will be ready at different times. We stopped and tried again several times before we finally got it. With my second son it was even clearer that he was no where near ready to potty train. One day he told me he wanted to be a big boy and wear his big brother's big boy pants. He went on the potty, and I put on the big boy pants and that was it. Never had any accidents after that. He was just ready and that was that. Good luck to you. If I were you I'd give it a rest for a few weeks, maybe a month, and try again. I know you want to be done with diapers, and it will happen....eventually! Tons of luck to you.

[Dakota Rose]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate it.

I think this is so baffling because everyone told me 'how hard' boys are to train and he was trained in a matter of days w/o accidents, no pull-ups, etc. So I thought, "Well geez if that was hard, DD should be a breeze."

I have to work the next 2 days, so we'll see what Grandma decides to do.

[White Rose]

I don't have any children of my own (and not for awhile, LOL) but I have to agree with everyone else on this thread--it really depends on when the child is ready.

I'm a prime example of that--my mother says I was a nightmare to potty-train. I was, and still am, a very stubborn individual and I had to decide on my own when I was ready. Thus, I wasn't actually potty-trained until I was about four. :blush: My younger sister, on the other hand, was trained in a matter of two weeks and never wore a single pull-up! So, it seems like it truly depends on the child.

[Janmac]

Definitely, it's best to let your daughter take the lead. Some kids are stubborn, some are easy and then there are some who don't seem to have their notification systems hooked up yet.

My grandniece is that way. She was in diapers well into her 4th year. Finally we started just doing a lot of laundry. She didn't know she had to go until she was going. When she was five, the doctor said he wasn't concerned with her progress until she was 7 or 8 and still having difficulties.

Even now, at 6, my grandniece will wet the bed unless my niece sets her alarm and gets her up during the night to make a trip to the bathroom. My grandniece is a deep sleeper.

But, she started kindergarten this fall and so far - touch wood - she's been doing a great job. At school. At home - we're still having the occasionally accident because she gets caught by surprise. At school the teachers run them into the bathroom about every hour because there are enough other kids dealing with the same sorts of issues.

Just keep things light and and humorous and keep trying. Your daughter will probably be fine by the time she gets to high school. :D

Jan

[ibelieveindisneymagic]

I just had to jump in a share a quick, cute story about potty training my DD.

She has always LOVED to :swim:, I really think she is a fish pretending to be a girl. So, from a really young age, even though she wore swim diapers, she always heard "you can't pee or poo in the pool". All of a sudden, when she about 2.5 she yells in the middle of her swimming lesson ... I NEED TO PEE NOW. So, I take her off to the bathroom, and all is good.

Well, I decide that this means she's ready to potty train. It didn't quite work that way, she seemed only to "get it if she was wearing a bathing suit. So, for about 2 weeks, she wore her bathing suit EVERYWHERE ... it was quite funny telling the daycare why I was sending her in her bathing suit, but it worked.

All this to say, kids will do what they want, and it all eventually will work out. ;)