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azdisneymom
09-16-2010, 12:02 PM
I could use some helpful advice on how to work with someone who is rude. I work at a big box store and NEVER had a manager or customer complain about me. She has. However she has taken a dislike to me, rolling her eyes at me, pretending not to hear me, refusing to assist me at the cash register and last night it came to a head when she made a rude comment about what I was doing in front of customers. I waited until they were all gone before confronting her, saying we needed to find a way to work together. She said it won't happen, she doesn't like the way I work. Our department supervisor is aware of this but to date hasn't really helped. I have tried to kill her with kindness. I want to go to the manager but at the same time I want to just ignore her. Saying something isn't going to change her - she has been talked to about working better with coworkers before. Help.

SBETigg
09-16-2010, 12:34 PM
As long as your manager is aware of the conflict, I think your best bet is to just ignore her as much as you can. She sounds like she has issues and no one needs the stress of trying to get along with an unpleasant person who remains determined to stay that way. I'm sorry for you having this situation, and it sounds like you're doing a great job and all the right things so far.

Daisy'sMom
09-16-2010, 12:49 PM
Hold your breath and ignore her. If there isn't any fuel, she will get bored fast and find something else to turn her rage at. Sooner or later, it will come back to her. I wish you the best. Everytime she provokes you, think about being at Disney and getting on your favorite ride.

LauraF
09-16-2010, 01:10 PM
Take comfort in the fact that these sorts of people usually crash and burn rather dramatically. If you can keep out of the destruction radius, you will be fine, so make sure you never confront her without witnesses, etc. The best thing you can do when she starts up, is walk away, or just ignore her. (The drama types really hate that! :D)

It sounds to me (as a manager) that yours is simply waiting for an excuse to let this other woman go, so I would advise you to be patient and keep doing your job for as long as oy ucna stand it. If you can't stand it, go see your boss and ask them to help. If you are as good an employee as you sound, they will try to work with you.

Good luck in the meantime! Hostile environments are draining.

azdisneymom
09-16-2010, 03:15 PM
Thank you for allowing me to vent and reminding me that what goes around comes around. I will remember to breathe and continue to offer the best customer service I can.

To be honest I can be a bit insecure. I have had cancer twice, am older and am bit slower than most I work with. I am very aware of that fact. However I must be doing something right because my first job is working in special ed and twice this store manager has called me back to work for her during busy seasons; always accommodating my hours at the other job. Now I work here almost full time simply because the medical insurance for my entire family is so much more afforadable.

When things get a bit tense I will think about Everest or the view out of my room at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. Thanks!

AHOTE
09-16-2010, 06:14 PM
I’m going to offer different advice regarding your co-worker. It sounds like you are both on the same work status level but that doesn’t matter. She is creating a hostile work environment in every sense of the word. She has made it clear that she has no intentions of changing. She will continue to find ways to discredit and harass you unless you decide to stop it by reporting her.
I worked my way up from the sales floor and spent 13 years in middle management for a big box store and that type of behavior is not and should never be tolerated. As a manager it was part of my job to assist my associates in any manner I could but I couldn’t help them unless I knew they need help. Management cannot help you if they don’t know what’s going on. While confronting her directly is a good step you do need to go farther. Department supervisors are often reluctant to report complaints by one associate against another so that‘s probably a dead end.
Your department supervisor is NOT, as a rule, considered a member of management in spite of the title. He or she needs to document their meeting with you and carry your complaint to a higher level. Senior store management and human resources need be fully advised of the situation and everything must be documented. It IS their job to determine what action needs to be taken. They need to speak with all the parties involved. A solution could be as simple as moving one of you to a different area within the store, a scheduling change, or anything up to her being terminated for her actions. Managers don’t “look for an excuse” to fire someone. Managers look at an associates past and present performance and how it relates to their job and to their business in general. Documentation is the key to keep things from escalating.
Don’t let this go too much longer. Things like this just don’t go away on their own and they seldom get better.

brownie
09-16-2010, 07:11 PM
Don’t let this go too much longer. Things like this just don’t go away on their own and they seldom get better.

I agree. It needs to be dealt with before it starts having an impact on your performance.

EpcotChic23
09-17-2010, 11:38 AM
The same thing is going on in my office. The advice I have gotten from everyone is just ignore her....which I have for the past 3 months. We don't look at each other, if we need to communicate it is through e-mail only. It the beginning it was very ackward but now it is the way of the office. This person is very confirtational so if I say something to here she will rip into me. My boss is aware of everything. It is ackward and childish but from when I talked to people it happens everywhere. Good luck!

DVC2004
09-17-2010, 12:28 PM
If your manager isn't stepping up you should consider going to HR. I agree with the poster who commented on it being a hostile work environment. Also- document everything. Just in case. Document incidents, dates, what you reported to your manager, what he/she said or action taken, etc.

Carolanne
09-17-2010, 12:53 PM
This co-irker is creating a hostile work environment for you & is a bully in every sense of the word. Honestly, this would probably be an EEO action in my office.

I agree with everything that DVC2004 said.

brivers222
09-17-2010, 01:00 PM
Definitely take it up with HR... From my experience in retail and big box stores, managers are useless. If u have an issue with a coworker, march right into HR office and file a list of grievences. Make sure you include that you did talk to your waste of oxygen manager and he/she did nothing to alievate the situation

Disney Doll
09-20-2010, 10:29 AM
march right into HR office and file a list of grievences. Make sure you include that you did talk to your waste of oxygen manager and he/she did nothing to alievate the situation

Although you probably don't want to have that attitude if you want to keep your job. If you decide to talk to higher ups be sure you don't become a part of the problem.

I'm for ignoring. Everybody doesn't have to be friends and everybody doesn't have to like each other. It's nice when things work out that way, but if not you can still do your job. Focus on the customers and your own performance.

DizneyRox
09-20-2010, 01:35 PM
At work, I'm basically trading time for money. I don't go there to make friends, and that's the attitude I've had for a while now. Sure would make life easier if everyone gets along, etc, but the reality is, happiness/love/friends don't pay the bills, money does.

As others have said, you don't want to be part of the problem, and making a stink could backfire.

brivers222
09-21-2010, 11:00 AM
making your HR aware of the issues you are having with a co-worker and boss is not being part of the problem... unless you have a pretty bad HR department.

the human resources department is put in place to defuse hostile work environments with Bosses, co-workers and others... And most do a remarkable job of keeping the Anonymity of the person coming to them.

You can try the ignore route, but if it fails to produce any positive change... your companies HR department should be looked at as a way to defuse the problem at hand.

The OP stated that the agressor was making rude comments about her in front of customers, wouldn't help out at the registers, and flat out told her she doesn't like the way she works.... What part of ignoring the issue would aleivate any of those situations? hopefully the OP is paid on commision or else she is in for a world of financial loss her as the agressor seems to undermind her in front of customers.

brivers222
09-21-2010, 01:06 PM
hopefully the op is paid on commision or else she is* in for a world of financial loss her as the agressor seems to undermind her in front of customers.

*is not

Disney Doll
09-21-2010, 01:09 PM
The OP stated that the agressor was making rude comments about her in front of customers, wouldn't help out at the registers, and flat out told her she doesn't like the way she works.... What part of ignoring the issue would aleivate any of those situations? hopefully the OP is paid on commision or else she is in for a world of financial loss her as the agressor seems to undermind her in front of customers.

I guess I don't see why those problems have to be alleviated. Problem person obviously has a supervisor who is responsible for monitoring her job performance and it seems as if the supervisor is aware that there may be a problem with this coworker. Let the supervisor handle it. Maybe they are documenting and planning to manage this person out.

If the problem coworker is making inappropriate remarks in front of customers then let the manager deal with that. Don't make it about the fact that the inappropriate comments are about you. I would ignore the fact that the problem person doesn't like the way you work. Who cares? This person has no authority over you so their opinion isn't the one that counts. As far as not helping you at the register, if they are assigned to work registers and aren't pulling their weight you shouldn't need to point that out. The manager will be aware of a backup at the register and will wonder why problem person isn't at the register helping out. If it impacts problem person's job performance it will get noticed. It's not your job to point it out.

If it's just about feeling uncomfortable because this person doesn't like you then your manager ends up feeling like a babysitter and you look like part of the problem because you can't work with someone who might be less than charming.

brivers222
09-21-2010, 02:05 PM
I guess I don't see why those problems have to be alleviated. Problem person obviously has a supervisor who is responsible for monitoring her job performance and it seems as if the supervisor is aware that there may be a problem with this coworker. Let the supervisor handle it. Maybe they are documenting and planning to manage this person out.

If the problem coworker is making inappropriate remarks in front of customers then let the manager deal with that. Don't make it about the fact that the inappropriate comments are about you. I would ignore the fact that the problem person doesn't like the way you work. Who cares? This person has no authority over you so their opinion isn't the one that counts. As far as not helping you at the register, if they are assigned to work registers and aren't pulling their weight you shouldn't need to point that out. The manager will be aware of a backup at the register and will wonder why problem person isn't at the register helping out. If it impacts problem person's job performance it will get noticed. It's not your job to point it out.

If it's just about feeling uncomfortable because this person doesn't like you then your manager ends up feeling like a babysitter and you look like part of the problem because you can't work with someone who might be less than charming.

Right i get that the manager "should" be the one addressing this stuff... but the OP said he/she is aware and not doing anything. If she isn't paid on commission then what the agressor tells customers is no big deal other then pride. I am assuming the agressor is acting as though the OP doesn't know what she is talking about in front of customers.. which would cause the OP to lose sales and thus get hurt financially. But if she is just saying stuff, "hey your arse is phat!" then yeah just turn the other cheek (and try not to laugh at how childish the agressor is)

I suggested talking to Human Resources because the OP is sounding like she is not enjoying (or feeling comfortable) going to work... and really that shouldn't be the case... and that is what HR is there to do.

azdisneymom
09-23-2010, 10:16 AM
Situation taken up with HR. I don't expect to be friends with everyone at work but I do expect professional conduct. Hopefully now we can get there.

brivers222
09-23-2010, 10:24 AM
Situation taken up with HR. I don't expect to be friends with everyone at work but I do expect professional conduct. Hopefully now we can get there.

Good Luck!!! nobody should have to put up with that at their place of employment.

crazypoohbear
09-23-2010, 07:28 PM
I'm glad you went to HR. That is what I was going to suggest. You don't need to be treated that way and you don't need to tolerate that either.
Also, make sure you document everything in writing. Keep a log at home so you have dates, times and examples of what whas said and who was within earshot.
As for her being rude to you in front of customers, If I were a customer I would have said something to her then to the manager.
I have been at stores before and spoken up when I felt that someone was being belittled in front of me. I can't stand that and I have told the managers that I wouldn't shop there because I didn't need to be subjected to that abuse, and it is abuse for the customer as much as it is for you!
Good luck and keep your chin up.

PAYROLL PRINCESS
09-23-2010, 08:23 PM
I’m going to offer different advice regarding your co-worker. It sounds like you are both on the same work status level but that doesn’t matter. She is creating a hostile work environment in every sense of the word. She has made it clear that she has no intentions of changing. She will continue to find ways to discredit and harass you unless you decide to stop it by reporting her.
I worked my way up from the sales floor and spent 13 years in middle management for a big box store and that type of behavior is not and should never be tolerated. As a manager it was part of my job to assist my associates in any manner I could but I couldn’t help them unless I knew they need help. Management cannot help you if they don’t know what’s going on. While confronting her directly is a good step you do need to go farther. Department supervisors are often reluctant to report complaints by one associate against another so that‘s probably a dead end.
Your department supervisor is NOT, as a rule, considered a member of management in spite of the title. He or she needs to document their meeting with you and carry your complaint to a higher level. Senior store management and human resources need be fully advised of the situation and everything must be documented. It IS their job to determine what action needs to be taken. They need to speak with all the parties involved. A solution could be as simple as moving one of you to a different area within the store, a scheduling change, or anything up to her being terminated for her actions. Managers don’t “look for an excuse” to fire someone. Managers look at an associates past and present performance and how it relates to their job and to their business in general. Documentation is the key to keep things from escalating.
Don’t let this go too much longer. Things like this just don’t go away on their own and they seldom get better.

Bill is absolutely right. As an HR professional, I always tell people "it can't be fixed if I'm not notified that it's broken". Not just with something like this but with anything in life.

Hopefully HR is able to do something about her, such as giving her a written warning and letting her know that this behavior will not be allowed to continue and that if she does, further action WILL be taken, up to and including termination. The key to sucessfully terminating someone for cause is proper documentation.
If she continues to behave in this way, look around to see if there are any witnesses to back up your statements.
Good luck and don't let her get you down.