Found Money! Need Opinions.

[starryeyes21]

My husband and I are having a little spat over something. I was going through my purse collection this evening when I found two checks stuffed into the pockets. When I opened them up they were from our wedding which occurred, almost, two years ago. Thinking that this was kind of funny I showed them to my husband half laughing saying "Look what I found." Instantly, he responded by saying that we should cash them.

Here's the problem......

I feel as though it is extremely rude to contact these two people and ask them to reissue the check. They were written two years ago when the economy was very different. My thinking is that is was our own fault that we carelessly shoved them away and not cashing them. It's not like finding cash.

To make matters worse, I went out this evening for a little alone time and while I was gone my husband contacted my mother and asked her to call her friends about the checks. I was so mad when I got home. I could just spit nails. I asked him why he was being so ridiculous about this. His reply was that it was a lot of money to just throw away and that I was being childish. I wish I had just shredded the checks.

So here's my question..... Am I wrong here? I feel really embarrassed to be asking for this money. Like we're begging. Yes it was given as a gift but that was so long ago. In these hard economic times I think it is shameful to ask for this money. I need some guidance here.

[Basket Mommy]

I wouldn't cash them and I wouldn't ask if I could. Two years is a long time, and you're right - the check writers may need the money more than you do!

[dnickels]

I definitely agree with your opinion. It was two years ago, even though they were intended as a gift it sounds really tacky to expect someone to reissue the check.

Hope your husband doesn't press the issue, if someone called me up from a wedding two years ago and asked me to re-write them a check that they hadn't cashed I don't think my opinion of that person would necessarily be a warm and fuzzy one.

[NokOnHarts]

Never ask someone to re-write a check unless it is your employer! If it is a gift and you loose it or forget to cash it in a timely manner, my feeling is that money is gone. I personally was given a check for my birthday from my parents (as an adult) and we were having a tough time over an issue at that time. I didn't even feel comfortable cashing that check until we worked it out! There is just something about taking money from someone, it needs to be done under good circumstances. Sorry to say but your husband needs to let this one go.

[marlyn]

I agree with everyone else...unfortunately it is your loss.

[sassafras]

There's a good chance that no financial institution will cash those checks even if you try to. They're what you call "stale dated" checks. Usually something that old, would have to be reissued to be cashed. Sorry!

[brownie]

I'd let it go at this point.

[DizneyRox]

Actually, I think the banks may cash them. Unless there is a "good for 90 days" they may have to. I'm no banker though, but I see it as a debt and it should be honored.

BUT, I wouldn't touch those checks with someone elses 10 foot pole. Actually, I'd be brewing for a while waiting for those to clear, who knows if they wrote them off, etc. It would be nice to let them know you found them and WON'T be cashing them so they can settle out their check book.

It's lost money, even if they are reissued after telling letting them know, you can't cash them.

He would probably change his tune if it was his friends/relatives. He's wrong on this one and should have to call and explain himself.

[retiredfigment]

And think how embarrassing it would be for the person who wrote the check if they no longer had sufficient funds in their account and the checks bounced and they were hit with a huge overcharge fee.

[aurora, ariel, and bell]

I think DisneyRox is on to something as well. You could call them and explain that they got lost in your purse and you just found them, and would like to let them know so they can balance their checkbooks.(Don't ask them to reissue) In that case they will either thank you or tell you they will reissue them without you asking.

If they just say thanks, then leave it at that, but if they reissue then that is great for you and you won't have caused hard feelings.

[DizneyRox]

Even if they re-issue (and by no means bring it up and if they do, you absolutely refuse), you have to return the check. Two years is too long. They at least deserve to know that the checks won't be cashed.

[BrerGnat]

I agree with sending the check back. It's nerve wracking to be the one who wrote the check that was never cashed. It's happened to me...

Put the check in an envelope with a nice note informing the issuer that you found the check while doing some cleaning and you feel SO bad that it got lost, but you wanted him/her to know that it did not end up in the wrong hands (checks have a lot of information on them...routing numbers and account numbers, etc.). Thank them for the thoughtful gift and mention how silly you feel about having lost it. Remember, it's the THOUGHT that counts in gifts, it's not about the actual money at this point.

[NewDVCowner]

I agree with sending the check back. It's nerve wracking to be the one who wrote the check that was never cashed. It's happened to me...

Put the check in an envelope with a nice note informing the issuer that you found the check while doing some cleaning and you feel SO bad that it got lost, but you wanted him/her to know that it did not end up in the wrong hands (checks have a lot of information on them...routing numbers and account numbers, etc.). Thank them for the thoughtful gift and mention how silly you feel about having lost it. Remember, it's the THOUGHT that counts in gifts, it's not about the actual money at this point.

I absolutly agree. This way they also know that you didn't intitionally not send a thank you note for their gift.

[Scar]

Actually, I think the banks may cash them. Unless there is a "good for 90 days" they may have to. This is correct, although the bank doesn't have to "cash" it on the spot. They may make you deposit it and wait for it to clear.

Also, not everybody balances their checkbook. Call them.

[Ian]

Totally agree with your approach ... I would not cash them and I would not ask your guests to reissue the checks.

I would, however, call them and apologize for never sending them thank-yous.

[starryeyes21]

Thank you so much for the replies. The story behind the two checks was that they were filled out wrong. One was made out to myself and my father in law by accident and the other didn't include my husband's last name. The check with the last name was fixed by my friend right after I returned from my honeymoon but she told me not to cash it for a month because she didn't have the funds. So, I stowed it away and forgot about it. The other one was just never fixed.

Sadly, this issue has yet to be resolved between my husband and I. I went looking for the two checks this morning and found that they were gone. My husband took them with him because I had threatened to shred them to keep him from cashing them.

I called my mother this morning asking her to not call her friend with a request to reissue the check. Apparently, she she disagrees with me too. How could anyone agree with my husband on this! I am so mortified!

As for the other check I have no way to get a hold of the the person. I worked with her before I had my son and haven't seen her in over a year. I wouldn't even know where to start. She quit shortly after I did and disapeared.

My husband and I are at an impasse. I told him that if he cashes those checks then he is in huge trouble.....like bigger than he's ever been. I never get mad at him and I never yell, but I am on the edge here. I want him to drop this. I wish I had just shredded the darn things. I'm just very upset right now.

On a positive note, I sent the thank you cards right away and they both got one. They gave a present it was my fault it didn't get used.

[BrerGnat]

I hope you and your DH can work through this.

I learned the hard way from my parents to never fight over money. It's not worth it...

[BellesRose]

I hope you guys can work this out because I don't see it as something worth fighting over. While I myself probably wouldn't cash a check 2 years later, I have had people wait many months before they cash their checks from me. I always make sure that I write it in the checkbook and even though I don't understand why they waited months to cash them, I realize that I'm the one who gave them a check and if I don't write it in, that's MY problem.