What I wish I knew before I moved out...

[Dulcee]

Alrite all...so in two months time DBF and I, both 23, are both moving out for the first time (not counting going away to undergrad) into our very first :D apartment 9 hours from both our homes. I'm starting a phd program and DBF is trying quite hard to finally get hired as full time police or fire.

As we've been gathering furniture we've also been gathering bits of advice from those older, wiser people around us but was curious what you all wish you knew/had/brought with you when you moved out of home for the first time...

[DizneyRox]

It's more expensive than you think, regardless of however expensive you think it's going to be.

[DVC2004]

I can't believe how much stuff we needed- silverware, pots and pans, utensils, cleaning supplies, vacuum, laundry baskets, furniture, sheets, towels, shower curtain, toothbrush holder, lamps! Literally everything. It took a long time before like we felt we had all that was needed.

[PirateLover]

DVC2004 is dead on. We were at the store almost every day for the first two weeks or so when we kept realizing more things we needed... and we did the same thing with gathering items in advance. But it's just inevitable there will be things you didn't think about. Does your apartment have a washer/dryer in the unit? That has been a lifesaver for us. Some of our friends waste a whole day practically having to go to the laundry center or laundromat. It is so convenient to have it in unit so you can go do other things.

[Daisy'sMom]

Stock up on cleaning and household products while on sale. Don't save a coupon unless it is something you already use. If you don't use something in three months, you don't need it.
:mickey:

[Briansmom]

Don't be afraid to shop at the discount stores (Dollar General, etc) but just realize that just because you are shopping at one doesnt mean that what they have is cheaper than at another store. In other words, don't assume that 'discount store' equals 'lowest price'. Also, the large quantity packages aren't always the best deal. :cart:

Away from cost savings issues.....make sure you have house rules up front that you both agree on.....like, is it ok to kick my shoes off right inside the front door and leave them there? or toilet seat up or down? Who is going to clean the house? (I know what the answer SHOULD be....but you'd be surprised at what some people think). :vacuum: :mop: :dishes:

Expectations of each decided up front can make all the difference in the world....even something that seems like the smallest item. Talk about them before you move out!

Good luck with your new phase of life!

[Kenny1113]

After a conversation I just had with a friend of mine... Get into the real estate market early! :)

[dnickels]

'Would be nice to haves' /= 'needs'

You're starting a PhD program, your boyfriend is just starting his career, you don't need to outfit the place with a spare bed (a blow up mattress is fine), matching night stands, etc. You don't need a full set of pots or pans or table settings for 8. Keep it simple, keep the things/clutter to a minimum.

[diz_girl]

Discuss up-front how you are going to split household expenses. Some split them 50/50, regardless of who has a higher income. Others split bills by % of income. For example, why should you pay more because they want a nicer lifestyle, maybe a bigger place? You can also agree to revisit the split % to accommodate changing circumstances. With many arrangements, the person who brings up a 50-50 split often makes more money than the other person, then has a problem when the other person suggests a more equitable arrangement.

Also, see if there are some things that the other will never use. Basically, why should you pay for something that you never use? If one person makes use of some things significantly more than the other person, like pay-per-view or premium cable channels or International long-distance phone calls, or food, for example, then they should pay for it.

If you get the lines of communication open now for home stuff, it should help them stay open for other topics and when times get tough. You should probably even discuss your philosophy on money (are you a spender or saver) and how much debt you have. Many people don't and then wind up marrying someone with a ton of debt.

[Jeri Lynn]

A ladle and a potato masher....after I got married I realized I didn't have one!! Hard to make mashed potato's with gravy without them!

Good Luck, I'm sure it will all come together and you will be just fine!! What an exciting time for both of you!!

[lettripp]

I went through this myself less than a year ago. My best advice? Figure out your budget asap and start saving because you never know what is going to happen. I also agree about figuring out how to split utilities...

Also, stay in touch with your family!!

[LandFan]

Make a date night and keep it - no matter what. Things like working on a PhD and life in general can start to pull people apart. You may think that because you will now be living together that you are "together all the time" but doing the laundry or watching TV aren't items that will promote togetherness:D

You have to set aside time to spend with each other and be WITH each other, not doing other things.

Also, buy a houseplant - something lush and easy to take care of like a peace lily. It is good to have something green in the house - it makes it feel alive and homey. It also helps clean the air.

Just remember that all of life is an adventure - you will probably have a few things go wrong and forget to buy some items but they will all make for funny stories in the future. No one is ever totally prepared. Just share a laugh about it and continue on.

Hope these ideas help. Good luck! It is a fun adventure!

[jrkcr]

Random thoughts:
Don't expect to live as your parents are living now-it took them decades to acquire all the potato mashers and salad spinners and matching furniture. You are young, and you are supposed to be living "simply" -aka like you are poor. Embrace your lack of money and don't try to immediately have it all.

Cable tv is a waste of money.

Learn to use the crock pot and use it often.

DO NOT get into credit card debt!!!!!!! Don't buy him an old toyota land cruiser with your new credit card, just cause you know how happy he will be.

Start now building your 401K (or whatever) to save for your retirement.

Best of luck!

[beksy]

Just wanted to say good luck! I'm on my own but living away from home for the first time (four hours away) so I had a similar experience two years ago. My main advice is to ignore what other people have and go with what you can afford. In other words, just because they may have a new game system, car, etc. doesn't mean you need to get one too. Buy what you can afford and save for a rainy day. On the other hand, don't constantly deprive yourself of luxuries either. Go out to the movies or a nice restaurant once in a while or get a manicure. Sometimes just getting a candy bar when you get gas is a nice treat and can lift your spirits. These will also be nice surprises for your Dbf. Most improtant, don't take each other for granted and keep the lines of communication open and keep a sense of humor! :)

[VWL Mom]

Keep your own bank/checking account and make any deposits into that. You can open a joint secondary account for the household bills which you can transfer money into.

As far as items often overlooked, don"t forget a sewing kit and a first aid kit.

[NewDVCowner]

As far as items often overlooked, don"t forget a sewing kit and a first aid kit.

And a fire extenguisher. You'll hope to never need it, but if you do, you'll want it close!

[Granny Jill A]

First of all, Good Luck to you both.

Previous posters have given EXCELLENT advice regarding saving for a rainy day, buying what you NEED as opposed to what you want, and keeping the lines of communication open.

Please keep in mind that one of you MAY end up footing the bill for the entire household. I don't mean to be a little black raincloud, but it's something to keep in mind as you embark on your new adventure.

God Bless!

[pink]

I've never lived on my own but I decided that I am going to list some random things you may need in your own home before you move out that you may not think that you need:

Dust pan and broom
Paper towels
Cleaning supplies
Toilet paper
bath mats
light bulbs
batteries
house phone
salt and pepper shakers
microwave
can opener
ice trays (if you refridgerator doesn't make them on their own)
hammer, nails, tape measure
blinds
hangers


I don't know just some random ideas. I hope this helps! :mickey:

[BellesRose]

Never lived on my own, but some things I can think of: Flashlights, batteries, candles, matches (Never know when the power will go out). Medicines such as Pepto and cold/flu stuff (Do you really want to get out in the middle of the night when you feel horrible?!). Enough cleaning supplies, soaps, shampoos, towels, rags, food, etc...to last a couple weeks in case of emergencies. Also some grooming things such as clippers, tweezers, and razors.

[Georgesgirl1]

The biggest mistake DH and I made when we were first married was that we didn't have a budget. We ate out SO much those first few years just because we could. When I think about how much money we wasted that could be in our savings account or a retirement fund, it makes me sick to my stomach!

[Jillirose]

Let the folks you work/go to school with know what you need. My husband and I had nothing, not even a bed in our first apartment, and within 6 months we had acquired everything we needed.

Because people knew we needed home furnishings, they alerted us to friends/family that were moving, etc. Most of our things were purchased second hand, but great quality.

[magicalmom]

Tool kit - hammer, pliers, screwdrivers (both reg. and phillips) tape measure, duct tape, nails, screws, picture hanging stuff. Command hooks if your landlord doesn't allow nails in the wall. I'm the usual tool-user at our house, and it has helped greatly with the nesting and organizing since I don't need to wait for DH.

The location of the nearest three or four thrift/consignment shops. Bank everything you save by shopping at these places.

Best wishes on your new venture -