View Full Version : Too much planning???

12-08-2009, 06:00 PM
I'm the planner in my family. I can't help it. It's just in my nature. I've been laughed at, picked on and have been given the "you've got to be kidding me" look many times by my family and friends. I think if there was a 12 step program, my family would stage an intervention.

Anyway, my first trip to WDW was in 1995 with my mom, dad, and a college friend. We only had 4 days to do the 4 parks and none of us had ever been before. I grabbed an "Unofficial" guide, and planned our trip like crazy and we used the tour guides and got a lot of what we wanted to see done. In 2000 my husband and I went for our honeymoon. I planned a couple of TS and just did the rest via reservations a day or 2 before we needed them. It worked great and we had a fabulous time. My family (me, dh and dd) and my parents went again in 2007 and my dh implored me not to do so much planning. I said, okay. We had 5 days this trip and I knew we wanted to go MK last and AK first. I asked him if it would be okay to book a few TS, so I booked one for Epcot and CRT (&bbb) and Ohana's on our departure day. That was the only planning I did. I didn't plan any attractions, parades, shows...nothing. My only request was to see Fantasmic since our dd had never seen it DL. My parents were constantly frustrated with me that I didn't have anything planned. My DH was frustrated with me because we had too many things planned. In the end, I felt like we didn't do much at all on the trip. There were so many things I wanted to see and do, but we just didn't do it.

Now we are planning a suprise trip to DL and it is spur of the moment. My dh told me he didn't want me to book anything, plan anything or schedule anything. He wants us to pick which parade to go to and that's it. He said I did entirely to much planning and ruined our previous trips....huh???

Hopefully, you obsessive planners like me, will be able to help feel better about this. His comment really hurt my feelings. I really didn't think I over planned. I don't think I over plan our trips. I try not to anyway. I just don't know if I'm being over sensitive or what.

12-08-2009, 07:11 PM
I can totally relate to you.We usually have our trips planned.What day we go to each park,table services at that park or nearby.This last trip didn't work out like that.The trip was a blur and it felt like we didn't get to see or do a whole lot.I don't know about you but I'm going back to the planning.It works!!!!! Hope this makes you feel better.:mickey:

12-08-2009, 07:26 PM
I feel your pain. It can be a pretty delicate balancing act. People think I'm crazy when I tell them that some of the trips we've taken to WDW required as much planning as our trips to Canada, Mexico, Washington DC, NYC, LA, and various European destinations. More than once I've had family members or friends angry because I rushed them to an ADR. Well, pre-park opening breakfasts and large group table service at Epcot don't just fall into your lap so fine, OK-- take all the time you want watching TV in the room or shoe shopping but then don't be upset when the kids miss out on a character dinner and we all end up eating burgers again.
We do try to leave a lot of flexibility in our days (no laminated schedules as my DD says) but also know that a few select meals or events can make a good vacation great.
BTW-- one of the biggest grumblers I ever took to WDW ended up calling me 2 years later as she was planning her own family trip. Told me she now realized how many countless hours I had invested to make that a memorable time for our group and that she owed me a huge apology. YAY! Best of luck as you make your decisions; perhaps you can make your plans as you normally would but tell hubby that once you're there he can veto any ressie or activity that he wants to fore-go.

12-08-2009, 07:33 PM
I have also been accused of overplanning. The problem with my family is that they just did not get it that you have to plan if you want to eat ts. They were frustrated when we would have to stop doing something to make a dinner. They wanted to have nice meals but hated being tied to times. We have been going annually for the past 8 years and I found this year that my kids ended up more frustrated and less excited. My carefully made plans when out the window for the most part because oldest DD15 wanted to sleep in. They were not as excited about the parks as they used to be. They hate having to make adr's so far in advance. They remember when we first started going we had much more flexibility with meals. If we decided we wanted to eat later there was no problem walking up to most places or called and getting a later adr. I felt just like you did, like I missed alot of things I wanted to see. It was even more upsetting to me because I knew it would be our last trip for quite a few years. Don't feel bad. Good luck and hopefully your DH will realize that you have to do some planning.

12-08-2009, 08:26 PM
I, too, am a compulsive planner but I can see your husband's point. And on our last trip (with a teenage daughter who either slept in or wanted to stay up late) sometimes my planning got in the way. One thing that my husband requests EVERY visit is that we have at least 2-3 days (we usually stay a week) where absolutely nothing is planned. Maybe you could work out a similar compromise? Every other day is left to mood, chance, whatever your little hearts desire. The other days you get to schedule the meals, activities, etc. Just a thought!

12-08-2009, 09:03 PM
I don't think you're being overly sensitive. I would be upset about that too. We've never been to DL, but you have to do some planning with a trip like WDW. Otherwise you end up milling around with no direction and missing a lot of what you'd like to see and do. Our first couple of trips my DH resisted my attempts to plan. He would always end up frustrated over what we missed. Finally I insisted on planning a trip, made an itinerary, booked meals. There's nothing wrong with planning if you account for some downtime and flexibility. He thanked me after that vacation and apologized for giving me a hard time. If everyone's involved in the planning and there's some compromise (like someone gets to pick a couple days to sleep in), everyone should walk away happy.

12-08-2009, 10:12 PM
I just secretly plan. :secret: And then when we're down there I say something like "I think we should go to Magic Kingdom today" and he usually goes along. heh heh He doesn't know it was part of my top secret itinerary! :thedolls:

12-09-2009, 09:54 AM
WDW is a planners dream. You can plan too much, no question. But it isn't the planning that hurts, it's the rushing around like your on a schedule, always trying to catch a bus. A good plan should allow for spontaneity, changes, and chill time.

I do a spreadsheet that has all my ADR's w/confirmation#, morning park, evening park with EMH listed. We always have afternoon pool time. It's more of a big picture outline than a detailed schedule.

We book our TS restaurants because that's important family time to us. If we know we want to goto LeCellier, planning will get us there and we have something specific to look forward to.
In the end it doesn't matter where you are in WDW because you are going to have fun.

12-09-2009, 10:52 AM
I have no idea how to fix your dilemma. You can never please everyone but it sounds like your husband is downright miserable with the way things have gone in the past. Would he be willing to split up – I mean you make plans for something and he dose what he wants then meet back up later. I understand this isn’t an ideal family vacation and while we’ve never tired this before I do want to “plan” some divided time on our next trip (I’ll take DD to a princess meal or bbb while hubby takes the boys to do something they would enjoy more). I am a self proclaimed over planner – but I’m flexible once we get there – I research everything to no end but more so just to be informed and then make plans based upon how to best optimize our money/value for our time – but it’s all just tentative and can be changed. I’m lucky though in that my hubby also recognizes my problem but he accepts it and has even admitted numerous times that he’s glad I was well researched and we didn’t miss (you fill in the blank).

12-09-2009, 12:42 PM
If someone complains of over planning when there actually was very little planned, something else is probably to blame. Your husband may feel that you are "controlling" the vacation, and his comments are a result of some frustration.

I would suggest talking about your upcoming trip, and asking him what are the most important things he wants. If hanging out at the Rose & Crown Pub or laying around the pool all day is his idea of a vacation, then you need, to first know this, and then work on accomodating him. He also needs to know that you don't want to visit WDW and not visit your favorite attractions. So some scheduling is important to you as well.

With a little discussion, with the emphasis that you both should be satisfied, this shouldn't be a problem you can't work out.

12-09-2009, 01:12 PM
I am somewhere in between how you plan and how your husband plans. I plan what day we do what park, and make dining ressies (as those are hard to get for certain favorites of mine), but don't plan what we do once we walk past the gates of the park. We just get in and say "what do you want to do first" and go! That way the important stuff to us is already planned and there is some spontaneity left!

12-09-2009, 02:20 PM
I've done the plan everything to the last minute. If we were not in Dumbo line at 9:01AM, Peter Pan at 9:16AM, Snow White at 9:40AM, the entire day is ruined. My day was ruined 3 hours before that because it was too planned.

The only planning I do now is ADRs at the 2-3 restaurants we want and make a very short list of "must-do's". Any planning beyond that ruins my trip and I will just cancel the reservation. It is supposed to be a vacation. If it is that planned, then it is not a vacation and becomes unenjoyable. I even got headaches on our last trip with too many TS dining ADRs. We skipped half of them.

12-09-2009, 08:30 PM
I'm a planner...I used to plan everything around the park schedule for a itinerary of what park, what day then plan our adr's from that. This trip since ADR's went back to 180 days before the park hours for my trip were posted (Oh the horror) I had to do it in reverse, book the ADRs and plan my park days on that. It all worked out ok. I don't plan what attractions, parades etc we have to do but I do plan what day, what park and we adjust while we are there for pool time and relax time...We are Disney experts but we agree having a plan (even a loosely planned one) helps us get the most of out of our time without figuring out where to go, what to do.

12-09-2009, 09:06 PM
I'm sorry the comment hurt your feelings. I'm sure you didn't really ruin the vacations you planned. No one would want to keep vacationing with you if it were that bad. Sounds like DH wants to do it his way this time. I know it may be hard for a planner but try to wing it this time. I'm sure you will research the parks and everything so you'll be able to offer helpful suggestions and get in the important attractions and dining that you want without others feeling like it is a predetermined plan. Don't forget to let us know how this trip works out for all of you. :mickey:

12-10-2009, 12:21 AM
I am somewhere in between how you plan and how your husband plans. I plan what day we do what park, and make dining ressies (as those are hard to get for certain favorites of mine), but don't plan what we do once we walk past the gates of the park. We just get in and say "what do you want to do first" and go! That way the important stuff to us is already planned and there is some spontaneity left!

This is pretty much how we go about it also. There's enough laid out so we don't say "Gee, what should we do now?" but it's not too rigid either.

12-13-2009, 09:46 PM
I understand you're hurt feeling.
There have to be ADRs at least or you will not eat any table service.
Good luck