Facebook Friends: Are any of yours "ex's"?

[BrerGnat]

So, I got a friend request from a guy I haven't seen in about...oh...12 years or so. We used to date in High School, and I saw him during my freshman year in college a few times.

Not sure whether to add him as a friend or not. I'm happily married with kids, and I just guess I wonder what HIS motive is? I don't have any "ex's" as FB friends, and not sure what is considered to be acceptable. My DH and I are very open about each other's FB accounts. He knows who all my friends are and vice versa. DH has an ex-girlfriend as a FB friend, but they remained friends after they broke up. I just sort of lost touch with this guy...

Seems odd to be hearing from him after 12 years...

WWYD?

[SBETigg]

I would add him, proceed with caution, and know that I could always remove him if he seemed to want more than I was prepared to give. Chances are that he just wants to get in touch with an old friend. Unless it ended badly and you just never want to hear from him again, I see no harm in adding him.

My husband and I both have old loves on our FB accounts. I think you should both be mature enough and secure in your own relationship to handle those friendships by now without any jealousy or recrimination, right? If not- say, if his adding an old girlfriend would bother you- then steer clear. But otherwise, why not? He won't be given any notification from FB if you suddenly unfriend him, by the way. Or if it proves awkward, you could always just explain that it was nice catching up but it's awkward, so you're blocking him. It happens. But I would give it a chance.

[sportsguy2315]

I'm friends with both my exes and it doesn't bother DGF much. Granted, I don't talk to them much (Even though I'm still kind of close with one) but I'd just go slow with it. Who knows? He may just want to see how you're doing.

[NotaGeek]

I would hit ignore and wait for another 12 years until he re-requests the friendship.

The person on the requesting end gets no notification if you just opt to ignore.

[Jeri]

I would just accept it. What is the harm. I have 2 ex's on my facebook page and my husband hs 2 on his. I had not seen or talk to either of my ex's for over 22 yrs either. It is just nice to catch up see what they are up to. I have been married for almost 14 yrs and don't find my husband's ex's to be a threat and he certainly could never find my to be.

I find it interesting to see what they are up to after all these years. One lives in California, and is quite stuck on himself, and the other moved to Georgia and is happily in a relationship with his partner of 7yrs. So see no threat.

I guess I would ask what is the harm if you are happily married there should be no romantic feelings left to cause concern correct?

[BrerGnat]

I guess I would ask what is the harm if you are happily married there should be no romantic feelings left to cause concern correct?

ABSOLUTELY right. There are NO feelings to speak of, unless you count a mild curiosity to see what "became" of him, in terms of his work and family life.

[Boojum]

I have one ex from high school, and one ex from college as FaceBook friends.

I agree with the others: there's no harm in accepting and just checking out the lay of the land. If your ex becomes a problem, just remove him from the list. No biggie.

[cather74]

Most of my ex's are on FB and I am friends with them. It's fun to see what happened to everybody. Plus it reminds me why my hubbie is the best guy is the world!!!!:number1:

[beksy]

I only have two ex's. One never learned how to use a computer but the other is a computer whiz. I am friends with the second one on facebook. It's been 8 years since we broke up and when we were dating we were best friends. It was hard losing that friendship more than it hurt to lose the romantic relationship. He has since settled down, gotten married, and gone back to school. He's a nice guy and I enjoy keeping up with him (and getting occasional computer advice) but there's no way it would develop into anything else. Since we both know this, we are casual facebook friends. We don't post to each other often, but its nice to know how it's going with him. Now the other guy...he would think my accepting him on facebook was an invitation back into my life on a larger scale. I know to never be friends with him and couldn't hit the ignore button fast enough (if he ever figures out how to turn on a computer...what was I thinking? :huh:). I think if the relationship is purely friendship and you think with a great deal of certainty that this is all the other person feels too that it is no harm in being friends. After all, it is easy to block them if it does make you uncomfortable later on.

[DizNee143]

personally..i wouldnt of dwelled so much on it and jsut accepted him..
do you know how many people just add people cuz they know them or once knew them..and then move on..
i would of just added him and not thought twice about it..

[magicofdisney]

He could just be looking to build up his "friends" number and not have a motive otherwise.

[Red Randal]

Yeah, unless they're a recent ex and, ya know, crazy then it's probably safe. If things ended badly and you hate them then enjoy your "ignore" button revenge. :thedolls:

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

I'm real life friends with most of the guys I've dated; I even went to one's wedding. If any of them were on facebook I'd probably accept the invitation.

[jrkcr]

I recently had the same thing happen. I added him as my friend, and immediately told my DH about it. This is the one guy who DH has ever felt uneasy about, as I still had feelings for this guy when I met DH(19 years ago). I also asked my FB friend to tell his wife about writing to me, as I would hate to be the cause of a misunderstanding between the two of them. We wrote back and forth to catch up on how our lives are now, and we both have great memories of our younger days when we were high school/college sweethearts.

[2Epcot]

I have a few people I dated a few times as friends on Facebook, but nobody I would really consider an ex-girlfriend. I recently had one friend request from a lady I liked and dated a few times. The main reason we stopped seeing each otherwas she because she was so flaky. I'd leave a message and it would take days to get back to me. So when she sent a friend request it took me about a month to accept it ... Even then, I really just did it because she is a family friend.