Mom guilt- what to do?!

[Disneymom4ever]

I sure could use some advice, you guys are always the best for that! My birthday is in November, and I really want to go for a 3 day weekend somewhere, just Dh and I. It's been a really long time since we've gone anywhere just the 2 of us, and is definitely needed. But... we have 2 boys, 13 and 16. I think I'm having the mom blues because Sean, my 16 yr. old, only has a couple yrs. left at home, and that's it. I feel like I need to hurry and plan all these things with him because soon he'll be gone! Please tell me you moms have had this issue. Anyhow, I would love to go to Disney's Hilton Head Resort and visit Savannah, it sounds so nice. But I feel bad, knowing the kids would just love it too! I feel like everything I do should be WITH them, because time is going so fast now! Before I know it, Sean will be gone, and Jacob soon after. Maybe I should just wait until the kids are gone? Ok, am I crazy?

[SBETigg]

Lisa, it's only three days. You and your husband deserve some time alone. The boys are growing up, true, but adults need some occasional time for themselves, too. It will be great for you! And that recharged energy you have from having a little trip of our own will keep things running smoothly at home, too. Still plenty of time to build those family memories, and just because they do grow up doesn't mean they go away. I think they'll understand and be happy to let you have some time.

I hope you go for it, and leave the guilt behind. :thumbsup:

[Ian]

I agree completely with Sherri. I think, for some reason, parents today seem to over-obsess over these kinds of things (I know I do!!).

3 days is 3 days. You'll be back before you know it and I'm sure the kids will be just fine.

Go. Enjoy. No guilt.

[jodijo]

My husband and I just left our kids for the 1st time a few weeks ago. They are 11 and 14. I felt terrible about it because we went to WDW for 3 days (a place they absolutely love). However, it was wonderful. My husband and I got some alone time and the kids actually were glad to get rid of us for a few days. I think it helped that we used skype to see and talk to each other daily.

So, like others have said, it is only 3 days. Just go for it. Your kids might enjoy some time without you like mine did.

[tinkerbelle75]

The way I see it, when the kids are gone, there needs to be something there between you and your husband, or you'll both be miserable!!! Weekends away won't do anything but help ALL of you- the kids will enjoy the break as much as you will....... have a great time! Savannah is one of my favorite cities in the world!

[FaithTrustPixieDust]

Mommy Guilt is a very powerful force, isn't it??? Many of us are right there with you.

DH and I are discussing an anniversary trip next year. To help ease the Mommy Guilt, we are only considering places that we would NOT go with the kids. Otherwise, I think I would torture myself the whole time, thinking of how much the kids would enjoy it.

And isn't it interesting that Daddies don't seem to have Daddy Guilt? They love their kids as much as The Mommies do, but somehow they don't torture themselves this way. I wish I knew their secret!

[DVC2004]

I am sure you do plenty of other things with them. It's only 3 days as other said.

My DH and make it a point to get away every year or every other year for a short trip with just the 2 of us. I think you need to do things like that once in a while.

[azcavalier]

I'm not a mom, but in our family, our roles are reversed. So, i'm a Mr. Mom of sorts (that works full time...)

ANYWAYS...

Parents need alone time. Period. Three days isn't much, either. A few years ago, we decided to go to WDW, just the two of us, for our anniversary. We stayed at one of the nicer resorts, ate at the nicer restaurants, etc. But when we were planning it, we had horrible guilt. How were we going to break it to the kids? Could we tell them that we were going somewhere else? Our DS was 10, and our DD was 7. We were sure that they were going to throw a fit. But, in the end, we just sat them down and told them that we needed our own time just the two of us, and we hoped that they would understand. Surprisingly, they didn't whine, complain, or shed a single tear. They told us to have a a great time, bring them back something, and the DD told us we had to ride the Figment ride for her. So we did all those things.

While your son is growing up, and will be out of the house soon, he won't be gone forever. Just plan some other trips with him.

[azdisneymom]

I am with the others, you should go. You know at your childrens' ages they may be 100% behind your trip. AHH time away from mom and dad. They understand more than we give them credit for. Go, make plans and above all reconnect with hubby.

If you feel really guilty you can always plan a family trip for another time.

[PirateLover]

When I was a kid, my parents would go away for 2 nights on a retreat each summer and we would stay over my grandparents. It was fun! Nice to spend some time with the gparents but short enough that I wasn't upset by the absence of my parents

[Jeri Lynn]

Sometimes it's nice to do things just for you and your DH...or just for yourself.

My DH and I have had a couple trips away to WDW without the kids, our kids have been many times. They are all older 17, 18, 21 & 23.

I have been going on Disney "girl" trips for years now.

I don't feel guilty at all. My kids have been on vacation without us and with us. We do a lot together as a family and I've never heard them complain that I (or we) have done things without them.

Go and enjoy!!!

[Disneymom4ever]

Wow, thank you all so much for the advice! It seems so silly in a way, it is only 3 days. I'm a stay at home mom and SO involved with the kids, and when my oldest talks about leaving for college, he makes it sound like I'll never see him again! (And yep, I'll be one of those sobbing moms at graduation). Oh, this parenting is tough, isn't it? And yes, my DH doesn't have a bit of "daddy guilt!" That's so funny, men and women are so different that way! Thanks again, I think I'll go plan that weekend now..:mickey:

[Briansmom]

I think I'll go plan that weekend now..:mickey:

YAY!!!!!!!!!! :yay:

[TheVBs]

Glad you're going! :mickey:

I know exactly how you feel. I want to go on my own to meet friends for a weekend, and so far I haven't been able to bring myself to book the flight. I feel mommy-guilt about not going with the girls, I feel guilty that my husband wouldn't be going, I feel guilty for spending the money on myself... I could go on, but I won't.

DH and I also need to do exactly what you're doing, so I'm looking forward to hearing how your weekend goes!

[chaodj9]

I sure could use some advice, you guys are always the best for that! My birthday is in November, and I really want to go for a 3 day weekend somewhere, just Dh and I. It's been a really long time since we've gone anywhere just the 2 of us, and is definitely needed. But... we have 2 boys, 13 and 16. I think I'm having the mom blues because Sean, my 16 yr. old, only has a couple yrs. left at home, and that's it. I feel like I need to hurry and plan all these things with him because soon he'll be gone! Please tell me you moms have had this issue. Anyhow, I would love to go to Disney's Hilton Head Resort and visit Savannah, it sounds so nice. But I feel bad, knowing the kids would just love it too! I feel like everything I do should be WITH them, because time is going so fast now! Before I know it, Sean will be gone, and Jacob soon after. Maybe I should just wait until the kids are gone? Ok, am I crazy?

its only three days and you AND your dh are bound to have some alone time plan the trip and explain to your 2 ds's if you want im almost sure they'll understand at theyr'e age strange enough im 13 too which is (strange for me to instruct a mom) I would say plan the trip just you and your dh and have A GREAT TIME sont worry about your sons once again its only 3 days and its likely to be a BIRTHDAY present

Have A GREAT time and Happy birthday:cloud9:

[chaodj9]

Wow, thank you all so much for the advice! It seems so silly in a way, it is only 3 days. I'm a stay at home mom and SO involved with the kids, and when my oldest talks about leaving for college, he makes it sound like I'll never see him again! (And yep, I'll be one of those sobbing moms at graduation). Oh, this parenting is tough, isn't it? And yes, my DH doesn't have a bit of "daddy guilt!" That's so funny, men and women are so different that way! Thanks again, I think I'll go plan that weekend now..:mickey:


Glad to hear your going have a great time hope its amazing

[pianobabe]

Go and have fun. Take the time to remember why you got married in the first place. Since 2006, DH and I have gone down to WDW for our anniversary with just the 2 of us. To DS17, it's no big deal. The kids could probably use a "break" from Mom and Dad too. Don't feel guilty. Enjoy it. Savannah can be a very romantic area (that's were we went on our Honeymoon).

[MNNHFLTX]

I can relate to a lot of what you are expressing. The last couple of years as my son (17) has approached adulthood, I have felt very compelled to make sure we have quality family vacations together and even have done a couple of mother/son Disney trips (and will be doing another one in August!) But I also value the other relationships in my life, the most important of which is with my husband. We usually manage to get away together for a couple of weekends a year and it is a wonderful time to just relax together without the distractions of work, kids, pets, etc.

I think you both should both go enjoy yourselves for that weekend in Savannah. And don't allow yourself to fall into the "guilt trap" while you're away either or it might ruin your fun!

[garymacd]

It's only three days! You deserve it. We waited a long time to leave our girls alone. There was some guilt, but at that age, how many kids want there moms spit washing their faces in public?

After a couple of trips alone, we took our girls back down to WDW for a family vacation. Our trips alone, were great and made our latest family trip even better.

Your kids will understand, even if they keep thinking about the "ick" factor.

[Disneymom4ever]

Well, thanks everyone! I did it!! I just booked 3 nights at Disney's Hilton Head Resort. I am so excited, too bad I have to wait for November! You all are right, it is only 3 days, and I think it will do us a lot of good. We get so wrapped up in the kids (especially in their teen years!), and I think we forget about US! And, it's a resort owned by Disney, so it can't be bad! (I know it won't be like the theme parks, but as long as the name Disney is involved, life is good..) My DH laughed at me, he just knew Disney would be a part of it somehow! And as a bonus, I get the beach, and Savannah as well. It should be a great weekend! Thanks for all your help, it's just the push I needed!:mickey:

[TheMartellFamily]

We have an adult weekend every year and enjoy our get away everytime. Since this is the first, when you come back either you will think to book your next get away or I think this went to fast. It is all good and enjoy your time together.