Stupid Sports Parents

[lulu'smom]

Uggh! What is wrong with some parents? During my niece's soccer game today there was one woman who was really loud. She was yelling instructions at her daughter, but not being mean or anything. A lot of us were kind of chuckling, and trying to laugh with her about it.

Well until her daughter's team started to lose. Then her shouting instructions turned into "Push her! Push her!" Talking about the other players.:mad: Nice. So you are teaching your child that when you start to lose a game the solution is to play dirty? It didn't help that when they started to push the refs wouldn't even call it a foul.:mad:

I understand wanting to win, but I can't understand encouraging you child to shove another player around, especially when it is not allowed. We are talking 14yr old girls here.

I'm so glad my niece's team won.:party:

[buzznwoodysmom]

Yeah, that's really pathetic. I am so glad my son's sports teams, coaches, and parents don't do this, nor is it an accepted form of behavior. The sports coordinator where my son plays baseball is very strick about this type of conduct. Sometimes if I get to a game late and ask if anyone knows the score, all the parents will say "I don't even know, not that it matters". As long as the kids are learning to play the sport, having a good time and its good clean fun then all is good with our parents, coaches and kids. And that's just the way I like it.

[Magic Smiles]

My DS played competitive fastball for 6 years. The stories I could tell. I would imagine they would be similiar to hockey parent stories or probably any other sports.
Well at one tournament the other teams coach was actually thrown out of the game. Then he was told that he had to leave the field as he just wouldn't stop harrassing our players. I am not positive whether or not our team won this game, but most likely as this group of boys/team was pretty much undefeated for the 6 years. Needless to say we ran across a lot of aggressive parents.

[JRocker]

My daughter was a referee in soccer for several years (also played for most of her childhood). She was a well respected ref. Coordinators from other cities would call her when they needed help. I was told by more than one of them that she was the best in the city area.

With all that being said; she has had rocks thrown at her, by parents. She has been threatened, by parents. She has been spit at/on by parents. Parents have intentionally tripped her when she was working the sideline. Such a fine job of setting an example.

The last season that she worked a game (she was 17), a parent (female) came charging out onto field, after she declared that she was going to kill her. By this time the coordinator was standing on the other side of the field watching this special mother. When the lady ran across the field to "kill" (her words) my daughter, the ref coordinator ran across and tackled her. The woman left the field in handcuffs.

After being heavily involved in the kids sports world for the last 17 years, I can tell you that I know without a doubt why a lot of kids grow up to kill/steal/fight. Because that is what their parents teach them.

[SBETigg]

That's terrible. It seems like there are always some parents who don't get it, break the rules, don't know how to behave, and have zero sportsmanship. It's not just in sports, though, it's also in life. These are the same parents who think rules for dropping kids off at school or being courteous in the parking lot were made for other parents, certainly not for them because they don't have the time. Unreal.

[jrkcr]

When my DD(now 15) played soccer years ago, my youngest was not 2 years old, and would dig in my diaper bag and pull out my cell phone to chew on and play with.
She accidentally called my brother during one of our soccer games, and he says all he could hear was me yelling "Run Caroline Run!". He stayed on the phone for minutes, just listening to me yell "RUN" over and over- and laughing(knowing what was happening with the baby cooing on the phone). When he called me back we had a good laugh, but I had no reason to feel embarrassed.
We were lucky that all the parents were nice-most moms sat around chatting with each other.


Maybe these parents need to see and hear themselves to see just how they appear to others. Someone could record the game and the parents on the sidelines- people will act differently if they know they are being taped.

[BigRedDad]

Telling a child to play "dirty" from the sidelines is wrong regardless of the level of play. I am assuming your niece is in a rec league. I do know that challenge, travel, and elite leagues play by a different set of rules. In my area, coaches and refs can have parents removed from the field and premises. It gets intense at that level. Partly due to level of play and what is potentially at stake. Many of the girls in the elite league are playing for lucrative college scholarships. There is a tournament here every November around the time of the ACC tournament or College Cup. There are hundreds and hundreds of scouts. Some families rely on this to be able to get their child to college. In those cases, it is understandable at how intense the parents can get. However, it should never reach the point of crossing the line of playing dirty.

[stitchaholic]

It should not be tollerated,as a soccer coach,and I coach both recreational and travel intercity teams,i would not tolerate anything but positive enforcement,cheering,clapping,go hawks...I have had to have talks with parents with bad sideline behaviour,but this is about what we are teaching our kids,which should be fair play and good sportsmanship.
even in competative soccer there is no actual pushing allowed,we like to teach our girls to be aggressive about ball possesion,proper soccer tackles,but it is about tecnique,not being a poor loser.
be happy your daughter's team knows how to play properly without getting dirty

[brownie]

I like it when people tell their kids to do exactly the opposite of what the coach has told them to do. It's great to support your child and cheer them on, but parents need to practice good sportsmanship, too.

[Stitchahula]

what part of game do these people not understand. It's supposed to be fun. At my sons T-Ball last year one of the parents actually told her child to stop being retarted. Disturbing on so many levels. These kids are only 5 for gods sakes and if you talk to them like that in public what do you do in private. I just don't get it, I have fun watching them figure out the game. They are to young to keep score and I think that is for the best. I tell my son as long as he had fun then he won because that and learning the game is the whole point of playing.

[RedSoxFan]

We've had that happen to us too. During the summer soccer season last year, there was a parent telling his daughter to take out the girls on the other team. And he was mean about that parents on our team told him to be quiet. DD12 is playing softball now and there are two girls on her team whose parents are always yelling at them to pay attention, etc. No need of that either. It's just a recreation sport sponsored by the town. No scores are kept, etc.

[caryrae]

Sounds like Sports and Pageants can have some of the worst problems with Parents.

[Boojum]

It is unfortunate. During my years as a softball mom, I witnessed what most of you have mentioned already (although nobody's mom ever got tackled at midfield for threatening an ump!).

Too many parents don't know where to draw the line between teaching healthy competitiveness and teaching their kids flat-out meanness.

A few years ago, I had to ban a little boy from coming into my yard due to his bullying and brattiness. His dad came over, very angry at my husband and me, even after we told him several things the kid had done. His response? "I'd rather have my child be a bully than have him be bullied. That's how I teach him to behave."

This kid is now a junior in high school, and is currently attending alternative school due to...guess what??....bullying.

[crazypoohbear]

I have a twisted sense of sarcasm so I tend to mock the "bad parents" at games.
My son's are not stellar athletes. they are there because they like the game, need the exercise and becuase it's fun.
When a parent starts acting up and calling out stupid things or making stupid comments and acting like the outcome of the game will have some long term effect on how they live their lives, then I'll yell out things like
"Hey, I bet the mortgage on this game, if you don't win we will be homeless."
"play as if your ride home from the game depends on this, because it does."
"how will you go pro and support your parents when you play like that!"
There have been parents that have been Banned from the fields because they scream not only at their kids but at the other team.
SOme parents have yelled at our kids, name calling etc. They seriously act like their livelyhoods depend on the outcome of the games.
My kids and their team mates will crack up because they know why I am saying these things. So far, both of my son's have been on teams where the parents are there just to enjoy the game and watch them play. Once in a while we will get a "superstar" parent who thinks that their kid needs to be drilled but they either don't join the team again or stop and realize that at 10-13 years old, there are no superstars and they cut the kid some slack (at least while we are there)
One coach stood and yelled at his players at the top of his lungs saying if you don't do this or that, I will bench you, you will never play again"
SO I went and stood next to him and started yelling loudly, "good job, honey, don't worry about it, it's only a game, it's all about playing fair, you are out there to have fun"
The coach was furious becuase I was louder than he was.... Oh, the kids were SIX YEARS OLD!!!

[alphamommy]

DD9 plays hockey. At a tournament earlier this year, her team made it to the championship game. The team they were playing apparently take their hockey VERY seriously.

Anyway, the other team scored on a play that took one of our players out. He hit the ice and didn't move. The kids from both teams knelt down, waiting until our coach went out to check on him.

In the meantime, the parents/fans of the other team started their cheer that they did whenever their team scored, even though we had a player flat on his back on the ice! One of our moms stood up and yelled at the other parents, "What's the matter with you? Can't you see we have a player down?!?" They stopped their cheer...until our player was off the ice. As soon as he was through the door to the bench, they started it back up again!

I hate to imagine the lessons these kids are learning, both on and off the field/ice/court.

[Septbride2002]

These are the kind of stories that make me pray for Chloe to join band.

[crazypoohbear]

I just remembered another thing.
at my DS's basketball game, whenever our kid went to the free throw line the other teams spectators would start yelling, screaming, whistling etc to throw off the kid at the free throw line (we are given spectator rules of conduct at the beginning of the season and this unsportsmanlike conduct is expressly forbidden)
the PARENT'S on the other team were "coaching" the spectators on how and when to yell to throw off the kid at the line.
The benches for both teams are side by side
(it is a small gym)
So after they did it about 10 times to our kids when their team when to the free throw line and some of our spectator kids started to do the same thing. I yelled out to our kids
"STOP THAT, YOUR PARENTS RAISED YOU BETTER" Our kids immediately stopped, our parents turned and smiled and chuckled at me and the other teams "adults" got red in the face.:D
the next time our team went to the free throw line it was much quieter as the other team just stared at me and I smiled broadly at them!!!!
Oh, this was a Catholic school league!!!!

[lulu'smom]

Well I just got off the phone with my sis. My niece had another game today, they played another team from the same city as the last game. And according to sis, they were pushers as well. She said you could even here their coach telling them to "use your bodies, push and shove". :(

I thought kids played sports so they could learn how to be part of a team, and to learn how to abide by rules. Apparently not anymore. Now it is all about winning, even if you have to break the rules to do so.

I understand why some parents get so loud at the games. It is so hard to not say something when people encourage their kids/players to behave like that!

Niece's team won again though.:number1:

[gueli]

This is one about a positive coach.

My DD plays soccer. 2 weeks ago the other team was doing a lot of pushing. You could see the kids getting frustrated. Their coach (a friend of mine) told our team - dont push. Do not push back. Your here to play soccer. Just go out there and play your best. He reiterated this point a few times. At the end of the game, he complimented his team for playing soccer. He complimented them for their teamwork and that they played well against a hard team.

I give him full credit.

Most of the parents in our league are good. I know sports are ment to be competitive, but some folks go over the line. I think its better to think like coach J (from the story above). Always express the positive.
:mickey:

[lulu'smom]

I know your friend is doing the right thing. But I have to tell you, it is hard not to tell my niece to start shoving back, when she is getting pushed and knoced down.

We do our best to cheer the good plays, not just the scores. "Good pass, nice try!'" things like that. But when the other team is shoving them around, and not getting called on it, I about have to bite a hole in my tongue to not start yelling not so nice things.:-o

[Disney Doll]

Unfortunately stupid sports parents are not uncommon. I had a friend in high school who umped little league games as a part time job. I remember him telling stories about having to throw t-ball parents out of the park. One t-ball parent stormed the field after an unfavorable call waving an "official" copy of the MLB Rules and Regulations. This was t-ball! Some people just take life way too seriously. I always feel sad for the kids who have unruly parents. A lot of times you can tell that the kids feel embarrassed.

[TennesseeTink]

My husband coached our DD11's softball team and will never, ever do it again. Before the season even started, we had issues from parents. One mother called DH (on a Friday when were out having a family dinner) and complained for 10 minutes because she didn't like the number on her daughter's jersey. 10 MINUTES! That was just the beginning. I got so tired of hearing that mother and another mother talk trash about my husband's coaching that I started bringing a chair and sitting far away from the other parents. My DH played baseball since he was 5, including his high school team, and had been all-state, plus had played softball on adult teams. It think it's fair to say that he understands the fundamentals. Meanwhile these other parents who didn't bother to volunteer to coach or even help would just run their mouths. We found out later that this particular mother had been thrown out of the park the previous season for her behavior. Her own husband, who coached their younger daughter's team and helped my husband with this team, actually apologized to my husband for his wife's behavior. He was embarrased.