How much would you tell?

[alphamommy]

I just was poking around on Facebook, and ran across an old high school friend. We haven't seen each other since graduation almost 28 years ago.

I sent her a message, and she wrote back and asked how things were. Here's the question: I can give her the basics of my life (marriage, child, lack of job, etc.), but there's a big aspect of my life that I'm not sure when (or whether) to share. Since 2001, I've had a variety of illnesses, including two bouts with cancer.

Should I share this with her? Should I wait until we've re-established our friendship? This is mainly a question for me because the battle with sickness has informed much of "who I am" today. That's been my job (other than child rearing) for 8 years.

Any advice? Thanks!

[murphy1]

Tammy, I have been through some health stuff, i have shared some of it with a few people and a few of my friends know my whole story. I don't see any reason not to share it with her. You never know who your story might help either.

[BrerGnat]

It's really up to you. I've reconnected with a bunch of H.S. friends on facebook, and I have told them a lot about my life, including about my son with Autism, because THAT defines a lot about my current life and who I am because of it. I see no reason not to. I have found that a lot of them have connections to autism through family/friends as well as even some of THEIR own children, which they may not have shared if I hadn't.

You never know what you may have in common, but someone has to "tell" first...

If you were pretty good friends back then, I'd say share if you feel comfortable. As in, if you would have told her back then, tell her now.

If you weren't really good friends then, well...those are the people who I am STILL not "facebook friends" with now, kwim? ;)

[Jasper]

I have been in poor health myself for the last 10 years and have been on disability for the last 2 years. I think you first have to decide two things. 1.) How good a friend do you think or want this person to be? If you think your relationship will never be close then I wouldn't tell everything. 2) How do you think this person will react. In other words, do you think they will freak out and not speak to you again or worse go around sharing your personal information with others?

Think about those two issues and I think your answer will become clear.

[SBETigg]

Tammy, if it's someone who just expressed casual interest, I would probably not mention or maybe just touch on the health issues. If it's a close friend and you feel like you're comfortably reconnecting, I would mention it. I think it's up to you and your personal comfort level. I don't think there's anything wrong with talking about it, or with leaving the information out, depending on how you feel. If, as you say, it has shaped who you are today, I would probably be more likely to mention it than not.

[NotaGeek]

I just was poking around on Facebook, and ran across an old high school friend. We haven't seen each other since graduation almost 28 years ago.

I sent her a message, and she wrote back and asked how things were. Here's the question: I can give her the basics of my life (marriage, child, lack of job, etc.), but there's a big aspect of my life that I'm not sure when (or whether) to share. Since 2001, I've had a variety of illnesses, including two bouts with cancer.

Should I share this with her? Should I wait until we've re-established our friendship? This is mainly a question for me because the battle with sickness has informed much of "who I am" today. That's been my job (other than child rearing) for 8 years.

Any advice? Thanks!
Hmmm ... I suppose it would depend on how comfortable you are with sharing that info with people that know you/don't know you. Since you just shared it here with LOTS of people that don't know you, I think you'd be safe sharing it on Facebook with someone that is curious about your life and used to be a friend. Facebook is about reconnecting. Be brave.

[pink]

You could tell her, I don't think that would be wrong. Despite, it being a hard thing going on in your life, it's also an important part of who you're right now. You don't have to ask her for sympathy, just eknowledge the fact that it is there.
:mickey: