Favorite ride jokes, lines, etc.

[LarryBoy]

What is your favorite joke, gag, quote or pun from a WDW attraction? There really is some good writing that goes into our favorite attractions. A lot of my favorites come from Muppet Vision, but there are so many good one through out WDW.

Sam the Eagle :sam:: I...I don't want to see this foolishness!
Gonzo :gonzo:: What kind of foolishness do you want to see?

Sam the Eagle :sam:: It's called "A Salute to All Nations, But Mostly America"

Haunted Mansion CM : Trip and fall. Trip and fall.

[Ryan Towle]

Also from Muppet Vision

Sam The Eagle: "Will you just get out of here?"
Rizzo: "Alright, but do I still get my 10 bucks?"
Sam The Eagle: "GET OUT!"

Sam The Eagle: "It's a glorious 3 hour finale"
Kermit: "You've got a minute and a half!"

[Lakin]

A lot of mine come from Muppet Vision, too! Though, there is one particular one from TSM that I love.

Mr. Potato Head from the queue - Let me guess your weight, 30 minutes!

[Celestria]

The Seas
the starfish "Hey! Take me with you. It's a good song but they keep singing it over and over"

Muppet Vision
Kermit (and i don't know the exact wording) "We invited scientist to come, unfortunatly none of them showed up."

corect my wording if you need to, but you know what i'm talking about

[Friend of Figment]

TTA: "Paging Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow... Your party from Saturn has arrived. Please give them a ring".

JC:
"Around the next bend I'll show you some of my favorite plants...That one and also that one over there."

[Ryan Towle]

Also from the Jungle Cruise

"That over there is an African elephant. We know that because we're in Africa".

and

"Be sure to visit the giftshop on your way out to pick up your 'Skipper Mike action figure'. If you pull the string it says such phrases as 'THE BACKSIDE OF WATER!' and 'Gee I wish Disney paid me more".

[ibrowse17]

I love the tomb stones at the HM. " Mr. Tom Morrow " is a classic as well.:thumbsup:

[maxrebo77]

Behold. The Majesty of the Sistine Chapel.

All the Guys that Turn Me On Turn Me Down

Just Listen to the Land

The part of the Indy show where you really think the all of the extras are picked at random.

Anything "bearable".

[disneytruelove21]

Basically everything from Muppetvision :-D

I also love to encounter the talking water fountains. You never know what they are gonna say! :)

[LarryBoy]

The Seas
the starfish "Hey! Take me with you. It's a good song but they keep singing it over and over"


I love that line. :thumbsup: I had completely forgotten it. That's the kind of thing I'm talking about, classic Disney.

[JabberJaws]

ANY quote from Muppet Vision 3-D! My favorite from that attraction though is...

**Gonzo introduces the Three Ds**

"I'm Dorothy!"
"I'm Dinah!"
"I'm Max. Debbi was sick, so the union sent me."

[Arnold Simba]

From Jungle Cruise: (Where the Rhino is poking at the men climbing the totem pole) Any golfers on this cruise? See the man on the bottom? His name is Juan. The rhino is trying to make a "hole in Juan."

Also from J Cruise: "See that big rock up there? That rock is poisonous. Yep, one drop can kill ya!"

Another from J Cruise: "See that elephant? He's the male bull elephant, the 2nd most dangerous elephant in the jungle. What's the most dangerous elephant of all? Why that's the mother-in-law elephant!"

Castmember to kids inside Spaceship Earth where you board your time-machine vehicles: "By the way, watch out for when the car shoots up the tunnel! It's faster than Aerosmiths' Rock and Roller Coaster!"

[AmandaChan]

The funniest thing DH and I experienced was the Monsters Inc Club -- When we were walking in they showed him on the big screens with the caption "feels the need to get up and dance" -- and boy did they pick the right person for it, too! DH nearly killed himself jumping up and busted a groove. We heard a lot of people chuckling throughout the crowd.

:sulley:

[AmandaChan]

ANY quote from Muppet Vision 3-D! My favorite from that attraction though is...

**Gonzo introduces the Three Ds**

"I'm Dorothy!"
"I'm Dinah!"
"I'm Max. Debbi was sick, so the union sent me."

Never underestimate the genius that is the Muppets.

[KatrinaJ91]

ArnoldSimba - I have heard the Jungle Cruise line that you posted just a little different. You posted:

From Jungle Cruise: (Where the Rhino is poking at the men climbing the totem pole) Any golfers on this cruise? See the man on the bottom? His name is Juan. The rhino is trying to make a "hole in Juan."


The CM said the guy on the pole was named Hontas and the rhino was trying to Poke-a-Hontas!! either way, it's wonderfully corny and makes me laugh every time!!
:D

[FaithTrustPixieDust]

From Jungle Cruise:

Watch out for Ginger, because Ginger snaps!

And of course, THE BACK SIDE OF WATER.

[senderella]

TTA: "Paging Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow... Your party from Saturn has arrived. Please give them a ring".

JC:
"Around the next bend I'll show you some of my favorite plants...That one and also that one over there."

That is my favorite....Paging Mr. Morrow, Mr. Tom Morrow....we say that all the time at home. It makes me smile to hear other people say it.

[Gator]

I love the World Showcase players in the UK pavillion. "C'mon everybody and yell as loud as you can so that we can irritate the French."

[AdventurerKim]

Sam the Eagle :sam:: I...I don't want to see this foolishness!
Gonzo :gonzo:: What kind of foolishness do you want to see?

Sam the Eagle :sam:: It's called "A Salute to All Nations, But Mostly America"

Haunted Mansion CM : Trip and fall. Trip and fall.

My DH quotes the Sam Eagle and Gonzo constantly! We also love this one: Rizzo: "Rat, smat. They're tourists. What do they know?" from the pre-show.

The entire Haunted Mansion soundtrack is my favorite!

[dream6]

Mine is also from Muppets! Although it's more subtle - I love how there's "a Net full of Jello" hanging from the ceiling.... Annette Funicello (sorry if I may have spelled her last name wrong)

Also, I love ToT - depending on your bellhop they can be so much fun. When you're waiting to load the elevator the bellhop instructs you to listen to the lady who lives in the ceiling - it's the recorded voice giving all the safety information

[Celestria]

ok first, i KNOW this isn't from the parks... it's from a movie.. but it's soo funny.. it's a disney qoute (kinda) from hunchback

i'm free i'm free.... dangit!

[Bobby T]

#1: HM: All our ghosts have been dying to meet you. This one can hardly contain himself. (Ghastly Laughter)

#2: See my signature.

[Mendelson]

At ToT while looking for the now-gone letters in the case that spelled out "evil tower u r doomed" we were rushed along by a CM saying, "move along, move along...nothing to see here, keep moving."

Same thing happened outside of HM while looking for the ring in the cement.

And one that can really take up a lot of your time is looking at all the fake movie posters in the waiting area for ITTBAB.

[Tigerinvestigator]

Jungle Cruise : "you see that plane crash, that can only mean one thing......Hippos!.......... anti-aircraft hippos"!

COP: "No privacy at all around this place" "Sorry Orville".


Dinosaur: "You're not gonna make it, you're not gonna make it!" "You made it"!

[Meteora]

Sam the Eagle : I...I don't want to see this foolishness!
Gonzo : What kind of foolishness do you want to see?

This was my yearbook quote when I graduated from high school in 2002. :mickey:

[kemps@wdw]

All of the "bear" jokes from the Pioneer Hal Players @ the Hoop-Dee-Doo!:laughing::haha:

[cindchan]

Jungle Cruise:

"Be sure to take your children by the hand. Any children left on the boat will be taken over to "It's a Small World", where their little feet will be nailed to the floor and they'll be forced to learn that song in seven different languages."

After offering some napkins to a CM at TOT to mop up some water on the floor.

"No no, that's okay. That's what maps are for."

And most of the Muppet lines. ^_^

Jedi Training(after a bad joke told by the Jedi Master):
"I sense a disturbance in the Force! Jedi have very few jokes, but the ones we do have you will find funny." (using the mind control hand movement)

[foorthofer]

From Muppet 3-D

Those two dude up in the balcony:

"Do you think there really is life on other planets?"

"What do you care, you don't have one on this planet!"

[Dreamin' of Disney]

Muppet Vision - When you first walk into the attraction, on the right hand side just beside the turnstiles, there is a reception window with a sign that says " Be back in 5 minutes. The key is under the mat"

On the floor there is a foot mat and sure enough if you lift it and look, there is a key there on the floor!! :)

Love the little disney touches like this.

[Dreamin' of Disney]

And one that can really take up a lot of your time is looking at all the fake movie posters in the waiting area for ITTBAB.

There is a funny one in Muppet Vision as well. It's one of those thingy's they use when snapping a Take for a movie (ex. Action scene TAKE 1...TAKE 2... I think you get what I mean now) But where it says Take instead of a # being there it has the words "my wife, please" ! I thought that was pretty funny!

[darthmacho]

TTA: "Visitors from Galaxy M-31, please keep all forward facing tentacles away from on-coming metro-liner vehicles..."

HAHAHAHAHA!

I also like the old prospector's voice during the Thunder Mountain safety speil. I don't think it's actually supposed to be funny, but we always thought it was!

[cfoshe]

One time on the safari ride we have a drive say something the effect that you did not need to out run the rino just have to out run your closes neighbor

[syndrome]

A couple of years ago as we rode the tram from our car to the front of Epcot the CM said "you are now on the fastest ride in Epcot!"--of course someone said "what about TT?"--to which he replied "well since it is always breaking down we did the math and our speed averages out to be faster!"
That is a very true and funny statement.

[Rhetoric2000]

TOT - Occasionally you will get a CM who gives you the intructions to enter and then turns back in mock panic at the end to say "Oh, one more thing..." just before the doors shut.

Jungle Cruise - "Here at the Cruise we have many thousands of different species of plant. I'd just like to take a moment to point out some of my favourites......that one.......that one......"

Jungle Cruise - "If you enjoyed your voyage with us today then remember my name is Matt and this is the Jungle Cruise. If you didn't enjoy it remember my name is Jose and this is the Hall of Presidents."

Muppets - *hums theme tune to Disney Channel* before launching into "Hello. How are you. Welcome to my park"

Muppets - "It's a glorious three hour finale".

Indy - "Working with explosives. Is dangerous"