How would you do it?

[EeyoresBestFriend]

I need some advice from some Fellow "Addicts".
DH and I have been to WDW about a few times and are now having friends and family wishing to join us when we go down ~ as personal tour booklets. Let me start by saying we are both young at heart and enjoy WDW as others seem to enjoy those all inclusive Mexico/Hawaii vacations. I enjoy every moment I get there as a blessing and a treat and enjoy everything from Peter Pan to Everest.
Now the problem ~
Some of these people are, to use a Harry Potter term, Muggles ( Non magical folk):D and insist on crabbing about the lines( which, unless you can just walk on, are too long), the crowds(apparently we should be the only people there), the food(which is weird & waaay too expensive) and the size of the Parks(because they had to use those sticks under their bellies for more than a pedicure). We can put up with it for a day, maybe two then I start to get annoyed and if, gawd forbid, you suggest they do their own thing for a day ~ they decline because they don't want to go alone and follow us anyway.:(
I need some advice and help on how to cope with this. I understand not everyone is as thrilled to be there as I am but how do I get through the vacation without wanting to throttle them? What do you do to stay sane or dial them in??:confused:
And sorry, saying no to them going with us is not an option ~ I just need help being happy in my Happy Place.

[DlandMommy]

I think way before your trip you should start talking about all the things you love that you may think they might not like so when the time comes they'll know you REALLY want to do these things:number1:That way they know in advance and if there not into that they can choose to do something else :D Maybe you could make a list of things you know for sure they would be interested in:cool:Hopefully thell think all your favorite stuff is boring and not want to go:)Well you can hope:cloud9:Anyway this is YOUR trip do what YOU want and be happy:mickey:If they choose to follow you just remember where you are:thumbsup::mickey:

[wdwfansince75]

On most of our trips, we have shared the World with family and friends....And have some special memories of those trips.....Your comments brought back some of the not so special memories as well....Seems memories can be selective, and the more bothersome events fade more quickly.
We have had special times as a result of trying to find something special to do with our self-invited guests. Pointing out the details of the design is a way of highlighting them for our own enjoyment.
I am a planning nut....and planning for us and our guests just gives me more options....I also find that some people just like to be surprised.....Takes a little more time, but I try to plan the surprises as well. Usually keep a few in my back pocket, just in case....preserves my reputation as being spontaneous.....
We've done it with on-site and off-site guests.....By the 3rd day, off site guests start to show up later, and depart earlier.....frees up more of your time....
Harder to shake onsite companions....I let them know my plans, and let them choose whether or not to join me....I am a morning person, and love to be at the parks for opening....Find that for most companions, by the third day, they suggest sleeping in....I let them do so, and head for the parks....Rendezvous for lunch, or even a late breakfast.....On MK morning EMH days, I suggest the latest possible seating at Crystal Palace, Chef Mickey's, or 1900 Park Faire....
We find that the most common complaints are about lines, heat, food, and prices.....We really try to make them fully aware of the costs, particularly for food.....Get them menus as early as possible...If they ask you to do ADR's, make sure they know exactly what it will cost them.....Give them the menus for the CS's as well....Don't let the prices be a surprise....
Can't stress enough...do not let them ruin your trip....If the lines are too much of a problem for them, take them on a few of the attractions with shorter lines.....and propose meeting them later, while you do the attractions you intended to share....Be sure to tell them what they missed...

[Itchy]

I understand your pain. My first trip to the world in 1989 was a mistake when my brother and his family went.

Although it was decided before the trip that we could go our own ways most of time it did not happen.

It was the worst trip of my life. We should have stuck to our guns and did what we wanted but still spent time with them. Instead we ended up doing what they ( my sister inlaw wanted to do ).

It was so bad that my family went back the following year and had the time of our life. Needless to say we have never done that again.

I would be honest with them and try not to hurt their feelings but tell them what you are planning and that you are going to have some special time with each other.

In short its your vacation too and you are not their personal tour guide.

I hope happy planning.:mickey:

[Marilyn Michetti]

NEVER AGAIN !!!! The "nice" couple that came with us in Dec. 2006 turned out to be caustic, whining, drunks. I casually said, one day, "sure wish you could come with us", and it was a done deal.

My DH told me, IF YOU EVER........! Well, I never will again.:(

[Madame Leona]

I would set aside time for just the two of you in advance. It's your vacation as well and I'm assuming you are paying your own way (if they are paying for you, you'll have to tough it out.) Just say something like, "We have a few things planned for ourselves on Wednesday but we'll catch up with you at breakfast on Thursday." That way you have something to look forward to and they have time to make their own plans for that day.

[Dopey's Girl]

My extended family visited WDW in Dec 2004. It could have been a real nightmare, but before we left, we let them know that we had stuff that we knew we were going to do alone, but that other things everyone was welcome to enjoy with us. We also made sure to schedule a few meals together, so we still got to see everyone, and share what we had been doing, but we didn't spend every single second together.

As in chocolate bars and glasses of wine, everything in moderation! Too much togetherness isn't good in situations like this.

Good luck!!

[Boojum]

....says tell them you can't go and go anyway. :thedolls: If they think you're not going, they might stay home!

Heck, WDW is a big place. Even if they go, chances are, you'll never see them!

(I'm being sarcastic...sort of!!) ;)

Seriously, I've had this happen on a small scale. We planned a trip a few years ago with another family (Kim, Chris, and their kids) who are fellow Disney fanatics. Had the touring schedule down, the dining ressies made, etc. etc. Then, two days before we were to leave, Kim's sister and her husband decided THEY wanted to go, too. Kim didn't feel she could say no to them, so she helped them book a hurry-up trip. She even managed to get them added to our dining ressies. Their first day "hanging" with us was miserable-- they did nothing but complain, complain, complain. "Too hot." "This line is too long." "My makeup is running." "My hair is frizzing." "I don't want to get splashed."

After the first day, we politely made our excuses and toured by ourselves. Didn't get to hang with our friends at all. We ate our planned meals with them, but that was it. We had fun, but not nearly as much fun as we'd hoped!

[gueli]

OK
#1) be truthful. in some sort of polite way, let them know about your concerns. But do not dump it on them, especially at the last moment.

#2) Talk to them about their expectations. Talk to them about yours. Be honest & upfront.
If they are your friends they will get it.

#3) i agree with the other posts about 'private time'.

#4) to put the way some other relationship experts have said "have a backbone". I am not implying you do not, but realize that you might go out of your way and ruin an expensive trip by not talking to your friends.

Simply put- find a way to talk- you might just find that they understand.
Good luck & let us know how it goes
:mickey:

[mouseketeer mom]

Can you plan overlapping trips? So you have some days with them, some days all to yourself?? (same goes for them)...that may help!

[jpH/keD]

We went with a group of 11! Anytime you have a big group not everyone is happy all the time!
I LOVE Disney and was totally happy doing all or sitting doing nothing! If you like to plan, make all the meal ressies after talking with your group. Then if someone is cranky say something like well, we will meet you for lunch or dinner and until then you can do what you want. Half day breaks were the saving grace of our trip! Just enough away time to make together time work out without making you feel guilty for not spending every waking moment with them! Good luck!!!! :thumbsup:

[chelly4568]

disney isd the happiest place on earth have the time of your life..

[goofy for pluto]

We have a boat and the best times for us at the lake were with others who also have boats.
They have their own transportation, their own food, their own time schedule. We camp in a big group and break up into smaller ones during the day. Around dinner time we all come back together again to cook and enjoy sitting around the campfire after dark. I think this would be the best way to plan a Disney vacation with other families. Have your own room and some dinners on your own. Spend some time with the other friends as well.
Its lot of money to spend for a vacation you should enjoy it! :mickey

[dtootsie42]

I guess I would tell them that you have planned certain things that you would like to do by yourself and they should do the same. I would then say you can meet up at such and such a place for dinner, lunch, etc etc.

I had to laugh because when we went to Disneyland in October with our two daughters...dear hubs and I told them...there are going to be times that you all should run off and do your thing and we'll do ours. You would think that would no be a problem but for some reason our youngest who is 17 had some very clingly moments. It about drove us nuts. Don't get us wrong we love our children dearly but you know everybody gets to an age and to a point that you should be able to do things together, even if it is family, but then go off and do things alone.

Dec. 1997---Contemporary
Dec. 1999--Poly
June 2000--Disneyland
Dec. 2001---Poly Concierge
Dec. 2003---Poly Concierge
Dec. 2005---Poly Concierge
Nov. 2007---Poly Concierge
Oct. 2008--DisneyLand

[dmosher]

We have had this happen before and the last few times have anticipated it by starting a google group for the trip and adding everyone who planned on going to it. Once this was done we did regular posts on it including FAQ's and concerns, etc. We also planned an entire itinerary of when and who we would be meeting up with. We made it very clear that this schedule would be stuck to as we had many friends and family that we wanted tot see. It made it much smoother for us to "get away" form the ones we knew would drive us crazy, but still spend quality time with.

For the people that hated lines, we went to Animal Kingdom and Hollywood Studios. SInce we knew they were not Thrill ride people but liked shows and walking around, we knew lines would not be an issue really (TSM aside).

With our schedule we also planned to meet up with people we love hanging out with and whop are fun WDW freaks too after meeting with the harder people. This picks up the mood and helps you to get back into the magic.
:pipes:
D

[MstngDrvnDsnyLvr]

In 2001, my parents decided to take our entire family to Disney for Christmas. This my family of 6, my sister's family of 4, and my brother's family of 2. What happened was that certain dinner reservations and certain rides were command performances and all 14 of us were to be together. Otherwise we were to do our own thing for the week we were down there. It worked out nicely. All of the grandchildren go to do something with their grandparents.

[the other micki]

Just 2 suggestions:

Try to get the dining plan. That way, they've already paid for the bulk of their food and won't have to shell out lots of $$$ at each meal.

If they complain about the crowds or lines, just say, "Disney World can't make it just on our business! If it weren't for other paying customers, we couldn't enjoy the wonderful place!"

[EeyoresBestFriend]

Thank you all for giving me some great ideas and also for letting me know that this happens to others as well. This should give me a few alternatives for dealing with the situations that may arise.
Either way, you're right ~ I'm still in Florida:cloud9:

[kemps@wdw]

So...leaving the "muggles" @ home is not an option...pity! Then the only thing you can do is when they start complaining, just close your eyes, click your heels together 3 times, and say "there's no place like WDW!"
Seriously though, we've been lucky enough over the years to have been able to go with other family members who love WDW almost as much as we do! But we have run into the occasional "muggle" ourselves. However, usually after the first day, they can't keep up w/our schedule and kinda go on their own. I would suggest kind but brutal honesty up front about what they can expect as "rookies" and what your shcedule WILL be like. Sure, you can all hook up for meals and spend one or two days touring together, but spending every waking moment together, well...for sanity's sake, how about no! After all. it's your vaca too, and you should enjoy yourself, and they, as friends, should understand! :mickey:

[Mickey91]

Do you plan everything? If so, tell whoever goes with you to plan their own meals for at least a couple of nights. Or have them take control of their entire vacation. Say something like, you just don't have time to plan for everyone.

Once you are there, when you can't get rid of them, go on Small World and Dumbo a few times and proclaim your undying love for Fantasyland and plan to stay there all day. (watch out though, if I were the tag alongs, I would love this:mickey:) Surely they would find somewhere else they would rather be and ditch you!:thedolls:

[Tink#64]

Well I see that I'm not alone in this experience! I think it was our(myself, DH & 2 DS's) 3rd trip to the World that, as previous posters have mentioned, during planning casual conversation turned to family going with us! Within a week DM, DB & his DGF & her DD were going with! At first thought all would be ok. I gave copies of my iteneraries, loaned them guide books & had long talks about our plans. I even very clearly said that there was no way that the 8 of us could stay together 24/7 for the nine days together. All agreed! Still thinking everything would be great, until we arrived at WDW! Then I was told that they were just going to hang with us! :faint: That's when it all began, or maybe when the very accomodating CM gave us connecting rooms, without our asking! We proceeded to pile our luggage in front of the connecting door so that it couldn't be used! :blush:

Every time I tried to plan for us to split up, they took it personally, and asked if I was mad at them!I felt like vacation hitler the whole trip! I didn't feel like we had the vacation that we wanted & I'm sure that they felt the same. We wanted to go all the time, it's what we do at WDW & I think they felt pushed & rushed, yet they didn't want to leave our side. DH & I said then, never again! Don't misunderstand, I love these people & we are very close, but just not good vacationing partners, as we all are very different in how we do things! Having experienced WDW before, DH & I knew what we wanted from our trip, but weren't able to do alot of what we wanted. We only take one big family vacation a year & we felt like we were disappointed when we came home. The others still had a week of their vacation left that took them other places! We did have fun, & made some wonderful memories, but still can't say that I'd do it again!

It's not always this way, now DM & her DH have vacationed with my family several times & it's a blast! We do our thing, they do theirs & we always do some things together, but no one balks when we don't want to do the same things!

Now my other DB wants to go to WDW with us this year & I'm very nervous about it! He began talking about going & I told him that we're already booked & he wants us to go together! I love them all, but after the experience with other DB & group, I'm very leary! It's hard to hold your ground when you care about the very people that you want to get away from! You don't want to hurt feelings or make any one mad, so if you know you can honestly talk to them & that they will actually understand, respect & agree with what you are planning, then great, but if not - watch out! :hide2:

[sleepingbooty]

We dealt with a situation like this a few years ago. The family we were going with let me plan the whole thing. Everytime I suggested that they might want to look at the dining options and plan some meals on their own, they said they'd rather just stick with us:(. So I was worried that it would turn out very frustrating. What saved us, was we ended up at different resorts. So, we were able to just say, call us when you get to the park and we'll meet up. We would tour together for a while, split up for a while, go back to our own resorts for downtime, and then get together for meals. Ended up being a very nice trip with the right balance of togetherness and alone time. So my advice is, find some way to make sure you are at different resorts. The way is happened for us, was that we'd planned to stay at Pop, then the husband of my friend decided he needed a gym to work out in - so they upgraded to Coronado. When the free dining deal came out, we upgraded as well - but to Port Orleans. We told them we'd always wanted to stay there. Voila! Problem solved!