Needing to Rant

[beksy]

My bf is a low-down loser! I've finally decided that! Ok, actually I've known it for quite some time but overlook it or break up with him just to have him convince me to take him back. He can be the sweetest guy when my medical problems flair up or we are out going somewhere or something but then again he is a compulsive lier, can't hold down a job, won't work on the job he's got, and talks about me behind my back! Last week he got "laid off" which means he either quit or was fired from a great job so that he could deliver pizza! This was right after he told me not to worry about money or working; I was in school and he'd help me out. Yeah, right. When I start getting overdrawn for the first time in my life I don't think he's helping is helping. He got a side job putting in a bathroom for a woman but instead sleeps in until noon and then fools around with his old truck. Apparently I'm not the only one who can't believe what he says (which my parents have been trying to tell me for years!). Now I find out that he's going to my mom and telling her the reason I don't have a lot of money is because when my sister came to visit I took her out too much! He doesn't know what we did and she cooked a lot! He promised to take me to Disney in May about a month ago and let me plan the trip and meals saying that he would be able to afford it. Today he tells Mom that it is just too expensive when yesterday he told me he couldn't believe that it didn't cost more! Sorry for going on but I just had to let that out. I feel like i'm stuck in a dead-end relationship and am just so tired of his lies and lazyness! :ill:

[disneymom15]

Your boyfriend sounds like my daughters boyfriend. She's been seeing him for more than 2 years. He probably hasn't kept a job for more than 6 weeks. He lies and does the dumbest things, but my daughter doesn't see it. My husband and I have told her about all the lies we catch him in. She is starting to catch on and I will say, he's had his current job for about 3 months. I still hope she sees the light, because I think she can do so much better than him.
Good luck in your situation. I think you know what you need to do.

[snuggs30]

GET RID OF HIM!!! I had one just like him, took me 8 yrs to see this! Not worth it, you will find someone else! Trust me! Let him go, it will be worth it in the end!:party:

[BigRedDad]

Please don't take anything too personal, but if you are looking for opinions, I am going to be brutally honest. If you do not want a brutally honest response, do not read any more.

1. This is your fault. You know he is a loser, but you let him keep coming back. Stop being an Enabler. Stand up for yourself and get on with your life, not down to his.

2. Grow up. You are not going to change him. This is who he is and he will be a loser for life.

3. Move on. Why would any person be in a terrible relationship and accept it? This is insane behavior.

4. Get some self esteem. You seem to have low self esteem to keep letting this loser back in your life.

5. Find a man, not a boy. Any guy that goes to his gf's mom to complain about money is an idiot. If it happened once for a lost job because of the economy, then there may be reason. However, you say this guy bounces back and forth to loser jobs and never stays and he sleeps to noon every day. HE IS LOOKING TO BE A STAY AT HOME LEACH!!!

[CAS]

He just sounds like a small boy with a behavioral problem. You don't date them, you put them in preschool.

Honest question...why would you even want to be seen in the same room with a person like that? I don't understand people who are attracted to losers. I like to give people 2 chances just in case one is a fluke. Do me wrong once and I'll give you one more chance. Twice and you better not ever cross my path again. You should have respect for yourself to treat yourself as well as you treat others.

[NotaGeek]

Hmmm. I always wonder why people rant and complain about having a boyfriend/spouse/partner/friend that is horrible ... it does seem that you have some say in this situation, so, what do you choose?

[crazypoohbear]

there are two paths you can choose.
1) the road you are on now. you know the road and all the bumps in it. You know where this road will lead you and where it is going to end up.
2) the other road is unknown, you have not travelled that road before, there may be bumps and turns that are unfamiliar to you. you do not know where it will lead.
You need to choose your path, do you stay with something familiar because it is familiar or do you spread your wings and take the road not travelled? The worst that can happen on the road not travelled is more of the same.
The best that can happen is a better road to travel on.
Make your choice.

[Sunshine1010]

My brother has a wife like this.

He now states he feels 'trapped' because they have 2 kids. He doesn't love her. She treats him horribly.

Choose now.......

[Tick-Tock]

My sister's first husband was just like that. She stuck with him for 7 years before marriage (they started dating as teens) and then 5 years of marriage, suffering the promises, the disappointment after disappointment. Then she realized that she could never have kids with this guy - he wasn't grown up and didn't want to be. So now she's with husband number two and a son and much happier.

Please examine your life and look into the future - it's very likely that what you have now, you're just in for more of the same. As I recall, you're in law school, right? Please remember that you want a helpmeet as you go through school and enter a stressful profession, not someone who's looking for an easy life at your expense.

[dnickels]

My brother has a wife like this.

He now states he feels 'trapped' because they have 2 kids. He doesn't love her. She treats him horribly.

Choose now.......

Same here, I have a friend who has always needed someone in her life. She married a guy right out of college, got pregnant at his urging right away and he has worked exactly one day so far during their marriage. He spends all day on the computer and makes no effort to get a job. She says the same thing, that she can't leave because of their son.

Dump him and don't take him back. If you stay with this person you have no one else to blame but yourself.

[princessgirls]

If he is lazy now, just wait until some real responsibilities start up.

Good Luck and may God give you the strength to break free.

Julie:mickey:

[TennesseeTink]

Sounds just like my ex-husband. We dated for 3 years and then married(against my better judgement; should have followed my gut). We were married for 3 years, the most miserable 3 years of my life. I am now married to his complete opposite and could not be happier. Ex, on the other hand, is on wife #3 and is still ecpecting his woman to support him. We've been divorced for 13 years and he still has not kept a job for more than 2 months. He is the exact same loser he was back then, never grew up. So if you're waiting for some miraculous change of character, it's just never going to happen.

Yes, I was a little scared to be on my own when I left him, but you know what? I have NEVER ONCE EVER regretted it. Those years were a complete waste of time that I'll never get back. Have some gumption and faith in yourself and MOVE ON!!!!

[LauraleeH]

Hey, you said yourself that he is a loser, so you probably don't need my opinion or advice! ;)
If you need any encouragement or need to vent some more, feel free to send me a message. I hope everything works out for the better!

[Ian]

Please don't take anything too personal, but if you are looking for opinions, I am going to be brutally honest. If you do not want a brutally honest response, do not read any more.

1. This is your fault. You know he is a loser, but you let him keep coming back. Stop being an Enabler. Stand up for yourself and get on with your life, not down to his.

2. Grow up. You are not going to change him. This is who he is and he will be a loser for life.

3. Move on. Why would any person be in a terrible relationship and accept it? This is insane behavior.

4. Get some self esteem. You seem to have low self esteem to keep letting this loser back in your life.

5. Find a man, not a boy. Any guy that goes to his gf's mom to complain about money is an idiot. If it happened once for a lost job because of the economy, then there may be reason. However, you say this guy bounces back and forth to loser jobs and never stays and he sleeps to noon every day. HE IS LOOKING TO BE A STAY AT HOME LEACH!!!:ditto:

[Marilyn Michetti]

Two questions.

1. How old are you?
2. Are you living together?

If you're under 30, and not sharing space, put some distance between you. Bums, who are bums before marriage, become pro's after the wedding.

Please don't settle for someone that will treat you like a second class servant. There's somebody out there that's just dying to meet you - you just haven't come across him yet.:thumbsup:

[AuntDJ]

Beksy-

I think you have lots of opinions here that are great!

What I wanted to offer is this....it is okay to be single!!! I am 37, never married and actually very happy...

I think it is hard for some folks to see you don't always need a significant other to be happy. However, alot of my friends and coworkers were where you are once and didn't make the break.....to be honest, alot of them wish they could be more like me.

Will it be hard....Yes...is it worth it...well I guess that is really your call....Be strong, believe in yourself, and do what you need to do!!!

Be happy!
DJ

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

Run as fast and as far as you can. He's not going to change, if anything he'll probably get worse as he gets better at the lies. Just keep telling yourself that you deserve better!

[Stitchahula]

I've dated guys that were poison for me too. You have to think first of yourself are you happy. I think you've already answered this as a no. Can you count on him to be there for you when you need him. Again I think you have answered this as a no. I know it's hard to make a break when you believe you love him and you probably do but you need to love yourself more. No matter how hard you want it to be he won't change if anything he'll start to treat you even worse. I'm really sorry if it sounds as if everyone is ganging up on you but it's just that we care and don't want you to stay in a relationship that just isn't healthy.

[Cinderelley]

Before you find your prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs.

Time to quit kissing this frog.

[mickeys_princess_mom]

Better off with, or better off without...?
Take your power back.

[thrillme]

Been there...Done that...Got the T-Shirt.

I finally got rid of my deadbeat. In some ways he wasn't so bad but...for the most part he was just plain toxic. At the time I wanted someone to fill a spot and he wriggled his way in and I let him knowing it never felt right.

Finally an opportunity came and we parted...I made certian that part was permanetly severed and worked on becoming more comfortable on my own. He called telling me how he felt he screwed up...he was sorry...ya-da-ya-da...but I was D-O-N-E.

Eventually I went out with the RIGHT guy. I realize now how much of my life was polluted and what it is to really love someone and be loved back in the same way. Maybe because of Mr Wrong...I can really appreciate Mr Right that much more. Mr Right and I are happily married now every day has been a blast.

Even if it takes Mr Right a while to show up if ever...you've got to be fully happy with yourself and make your life the way you want it to be THEN invite someone in IF you want to.

[azdisneymom]

Dump him. It will be hard because he will want to come back. He will say all the right things to manipulate you into taking him back, but don't.

Scale back some spending, get another loan and take that difficult step to gain independance. You are going to school and sound like a smart girl. Pick yourself up by your bootstraps and go, you can do it.

We are all pulling for you!