Advice needed for a last will & testament

[mrsgaribaldi]

My husband and I travel together all the time. In the event that something should happen to us, I don't want my family to come out of the woodwork to see what they can get. Unfortunately, that's the kind of sister and parents I have. I don't own property or anything like that. Just savings, 403k, personal things like jewelry. If I just write on a piece of paper who I want to get my stuff, is it legal? Can I get it notarized and will they follow that if we should both die. My sister wouldn't see her mother in law anymore, but when the woman died they ended up with her car(and other things I'm sure) . Now my sister cut me out and I don't want her driving my car if something should happen to us both. Sorry if I'm rambling and thanks.

[BigRedDad]

There are web sites that have Living Wills and Testaments. It costs less than $100 on many sites. All you have to do is complete the data, print out the sheets, and have it notarized. Do a Google search and see what is there.

[daparish]

In Louisiana a hand will is a valid will. Be sure that you write the will and that each page of the will is signed at the bottom and dated. You and your husband must write separate wills (can't share the one will). Be specific about who you want to get what things. Louisiana is a community property state so your spouse would inherit the portion of anything purchased while married but any separate property (purchased before marriage or obtained separately by something like inheritance) would go to your family and not your spouse unless stated in a will. Hope this helps.

[Piglet822]

You're in NY, right Stephanie? I think I recall reading somewhere, or talking with someone, that in the State of NY if you don't want a certain someone to get something you should write that specifically, or just leave them a $1 or something like that.
I wish I could remember where I read/heard it but I know it was NY because I learned it when my mother in law passed and didn't leave anything to her oldest son who she had had no contact with in 20+ years. He could have contested the will and we thought he was going to. He ended up not.
And as BigRedDad mentions, there are plenty of places onlline that can help you. I used to have a website for just that but I'm afraid I deleted it.
Good luck!!!!!

[Scar]

As far as the retirement plan goes, I assume you mean 403(b) or 401(k); the assigned beneficiary (or beneficiaries) will trump anything in a will.

[Alligirl]

Hi Stephanie,

I really dont know anything about how this works but...My Grandmother wrote out on paper who she wanted to get what, so to speak. My Mom and her siblings went through everything and tried to follow what Gramma wanted but the one sister kind of bullied them so she could get what she wanted. The guilt of giving in to her was a terrible thing for them and months later had to all get back together to fix things. It got a little ugly but all is (sort of ) good now.

So I guess what I am saying is if you have it written out that your sister should not get your car and mother should not get the money etc. who is reading and enforcing it? Are there other family members to go over it and make sure Mother & Sister dont do whatever they want to anyway?
Good luck!
~Allison

[garymacd]

If you don't have children, and there is no one you especially want to leave money to, consider leaving your estate to the Red Cross, the Cancer Society or another charity that you are fond of.

Just a thought.

[mdhiggin]

I was just reading Money magazine from 2006. It takes me awhile to get around to reading the fun stuff. They suggest a website called Buildawill.com for a $20 basic will, but it also says if you expect anyone to challenge your will, which it sounds like might happen or want to place conditions on an inheritance, then you should consult a lawyer. Expect to pay a minimum of $500-$1000, with additional charges if you need a trust as well. Also, if you own a business, you need the pricier model.

[diz_girl]

It seems like you don't trust your family, so I wouldn't expect them to care about your wishes, even if you include them in a will. If you don't trust your sister or parents, and you don't want them to get your jewelry or other personal belongings, then make sure that they do not have the key to your house and that your house cannot be easily broken into. Unscrupulous family members will go into (or break into or possibly fool or bully someone into letting them into) a deceased family member's house and take personal effects before anyone else can get there and before the will is read.

Keep all of your jewelry in a wall safe (I do), so even if your parents or sister break into your house, they (hopefully) can't get your jewelry. And make sure that you don't have the combination on display nearby or is otherwise easily found. You might want to keep the location and combination of your safe with your will at your lawyer's office. I decided to get a wall safe when we renovated. I was thinking that I was being paranoid, but when the sister of our contractor had her home broken into and her personal belongings (including jewelry) stolen, I was confident with my decision.

If you can't trust your family, then you should name (if you can) someone that you can trust to be the executor of your will. And make sure that they aren't the sort to give in to any bullying by your parents or sister. Hopefully, they would be able to secure your house from any unwanted intruders. Make sure that you have all of your information (bank accounts, life insurance policies, 403(b) contact information) in a place that's easy to find for your executor. It's also good to have that information near the door for emergency evacuations. I don't, but it's something that I really need to do.

As a PP mentioned, your 403(b) and bank accounts should be safe, because the executor should be the only person that is able to access your accounts or legally transfer ownership of your assets (car, home, etc.)

Good luck.

[mrsgaribaldi]

Thanks very much everyone:thumbsup:

[faline]

If you have a will that is very simple, it would not cost much to have an attorney draft it for you.

I would expect you would likely name each other as the beneficiary of all your assets - unless you were both to pass away during an accident while taveling. Do, however, also, consider putting in provisions that sets up a trust for the other should that person become incapacitated and unable to make decisions about finances etc.

[JessicaRabbit]

I am an attorney, but I am not licensed in the state of NY, nor do I possess any sort of expertise in estate planning law, so I am not able to give you any legal advice (there that's over with).

BUT I can tell you that anything you have that contains a beneficiary clause (like your retirement, life insurance etc.) passes outside of the will process and therefore the person you have as the named beneficiary will receive the proceeds (so make sure all of your beneficiary designations are up-to-date).

As far as whether handwriting your wishes on a piece of paper will be considered valid as a will (in legal terms known as a holographic will), the law in your state specifically states that these wills are only valid in very limited circumstances. I am sending you a PM with the actual NY law for wills which sets forth exactly how you need to go about drafting your wishes so that it constitutes a valid will. You could probably utilize one of the store-bought or online self-help wills for the formatting of your will, but you will have to follow the law as to how it is signed and witnessed in order for it to be valid and have your property distributed according to your wishes. Good luck!

Susan

[ElenitaB]

Stephanie, Susan has given you some great advice. I've also seen in our Staples (just across the bridge from you) will "kits" that you can purchase.

[crazypoohbear]

Whether you use a lawyer or a build your own will or a hand written will. I strongly recommend that you name your family members specifically and state that they nor any current of future heirs of theirs are to inherit or reap any benefits from you death. I had heard many years ago that if you want to specifically exclude someone from inheriting anything you must state that under not circumstances are they to get possession of any real or sentimental value from you.
I have the same type of family and I know that when I fly I always hand write a will stating that "those people" are not to reap any benefits in the case of my death. I have it notarized and I beleive it is only good for something like 30 days. enough for my vacation.

[mrsgaribaldi]

Thanks for all your help:mickey:

[drummerboy]

Stephanie--

I strongly recommend that you see an attorney. I've seen too many bad results come out of 'do-it-yourself' wills and will kits. I'm an attorney and have done a lot of will and probate work over the years, but like Susan, I'm not licensed in your state and can't give you any advice except to recommend seeing a NY lawyer. Overall, the cost should be well worth it.