Not an empty nest but empty of long-time activities and friends

[Katzateer]

My girls are not moved out but I am really feeling blue lately. I quit work to stay home with my oldest, did the coop preschool, committees, field trips, headed organizations, and worked part time.

Now that my girls are older we no longer are active in most of the big-time activities and my network of friends have all moved on to other activities or have stayed with our old interests (with younger children).

I realize now most of my friends were because of my kids and things I helped with concerning them. We don't have any family we see (they all live out of town or have died).

Anyone else not really in an empty nest situation but still feeling isolated? I work 2 part-time jobs so I still get out and see people but I just don't work with people I have much in common with.

Not really sure what I am asking-just wondered if anyone else felt this way when their kids got to high school and college age.

[crazypoohbear]

I understand just how you are feeling. I had a much larger circle of friends when my kids were smaller but as they grew up I realized that I didn't have much in common with some of the parents or as the kids grew I didn't really care much for their style of parenting, ( one mother started letting her kid drink and smoke pot, then she joined him!) YES, SERIOUSLY!
I am still friends with some of the parents because we had other interests. But it does get hard.
Maybe you could take a class at the local high school or trade school in something YOU are interested in and meet others there. What about contacting the other moms that you have drifted apart from and suggesting a
"girls night out" I still do this with my "mom" friends occassionally. Even though some of us have drifted apart, the kids have moved on to different interests, schools etc. you can still get together for drinks once in awhile to catch up and unwind.
I wish you good luck and don't worry things will brighten up.

[Diznee4Me]

I know how you feel and this is coming from a Dad.

My DW and I only have one child, DD17. She has a huge social life now, driving, and just entering her senior year so it is only getting more hectic. (She definetly doesn't won't ole' Dad around.)

My wife works a lot and has decided to go back to school for her Masters (you go Hon!:thumbsup:) so here I am sitting most nights at home while both my girls are busy.

I work, read a lot, and clean the yard but miss the times I had with DD when she was younger.

Hang in there, like you I am kinda wondering what to do with myself but I keep looking for some project to keep me busy. :D

[dnickels]

I think poohbear had a great suggestion, what about looking to find something that interests you and make it a career rather than just having jobs.

(and of course by the career / job distinction I mean something you enjoy and want to do, not just something to fill a few hours a week in exchange for being paid)

My grandpa has always said he 'retired' about 60 years ago when he quit being a dairy farmer (which he didn't like) and started growing Christmas trees (which he loved).

Obviously from his example, everyone has different ideas about what they would love to do, I'm sure you have your own unique interests, go put them to work! :thumbsup:

[d_m_n_n]

My children are still fairly young, but I have 2 suggestions for you!

1. Look at local colleges (especially satellite campuses) for Continuing Education courses. They have so many that reach out to a variety of interests...from photography to gourmet cooking to learning a foreign language! These are usually at a very reasonable price and I have met many, many interesting people that share my interests. If this isn't possible, you might check out your local library to see if they offer programs that would interest you!

2. If you are interested, have you ever considered being a mentor for other moms? I used to be active in MOPS and we loved having moms of older kids come and share their insight with us. Some would conduct the meetings and others would listen and offer suggestions...just depending on how comfortable they were.

Whatever you decide, I hope this feeling passes for you very quickly!! :)

[Marilyn Michetti]

When DD was a Freshman in college, we came to Az. "just to look around", and came home five days later with an agreement of sale on a house. We moved in 1993, and I found a great choir to sing in, took painting classes, cake decorating, and now make porcelain dolls. I NEVER had that kind of life in Phila., and it's wonderful. :cloud9:

(I looked at your public profile, and see that you're only 11years younger than I am), so I'm guessing that you're almost ready to push on. You just don't know it yet.:confused:

BTW, I was raised in Ashland Ohio.

It's definately a transition, but you'll see that life isn't over when the kids grow up.:cool: