Leaving home

[crazypoohbear]

Yesterday I dropped my DS off at college, 1 day after his 19th birthday :(
He left and went in the dorm before he started crying.
I cried on the ride home.
His little brother cried on the ride home. He made me cry more!
Saying good bye was so hard
He has never been away from home, no sleep away camps, nothing.


Last night I was so sad waiting for him to come up and talk with me before going to bed.
How do you other moms handle the first few weeks when they leave?

[Pirate Granny]

It will pass...it's pretty hard...I remember very clearly dropping off all three DD for the first time...I could cry again...and the youngest is 26 now...it's hard, but I guess it's what we do...we build them the best ship we can and then let them set sail and stand back and wave...they'll come back for repairs or updates...but we need to let go, as much as that hurts...
:pirate:

[RedSoxFan]

It is so hard to drop them off at college. DS20 is a junior at Syracuse Univ and I still cried when he left. DS18 is a freshman at Oswego State and I cried when I dropped him off and cried all night. When DS20 left for his first year --- I cried off/on for a month before/after he left. Had to be the hardest thing do ever do. It does get easier with time. Just know this is where they are suppose to be at this stage in life.

[Cinderelley]

I'm not handling DS being gone very well at all, but I do know you've been a great mom. He'll take what you've taught him and move forward with it.

[ChipnDaleGal]

It will pass...it's pretty hard...I remember very clearly dropping off all three DD for the first time...I could cry again...and the youngest is 26 now...it's hard, but I guess it's what we do...we build them the best ship we can and then let them set sail and stand back and wave...they'll come back for repairs or updates...but we need to let go, as much as that hurts...
:pirate:

That was a wonderful analogy. I will try to keep that in mind when I have to go through this for the first time next year with my daughter. My heart goes out to you, crazypoohbear, and any other Intercot parents learning to deal with this right now. :hug:

[Scott C]

DS18 has been gone 10 days now. We were going to see him last sunday, but when we contacted him, he stated that he and his friends were going to indy for the day -- Oh well, I am glad he is having a good time. OTOH, he has been to see the campus doc twice already for a nasty ear infection he picked up in the pool -- wish I was there to help(feel like I should be). Yesterday was the first day that we did not at least email each other -- trying to let go a little more.

Sad but Proud of him
Scott C

[DrivingSideways]

I know you asked for advice from parents, but I can offer a little insight into the other side.

I'm 24 and in grad school. I vividly remember the day my parents moved me into my freshman dorm. That was hard.

I called home once or twice a week and my mom always told me how proud of me she was before we hung up. Remembering that always made it easier to get through the hard times.

Your DS will always remember what you taught him and carry that with him. I hope that thought helps.

And, you can always look forward to the gobs of laundry that will accompany him home for visits. ;)

[crazypoohbear]

It will pass...it's pretty hard...I remember very clearly dropping off all three DD for the first time...I could cry again...and the youngest is 26 now...it's hard, but I guess it's what we do...we build them the best ship we can and then let them set sail and stand back and wave...they'll come back for repairs or updates...but we need to let go, as much as that hurts...
:pirate:


Wow, that is great. but I don't want him to sail, I'd like to keep him in dry dock:blush:


I'm not handling DS being gone very well at all, but I do know you've been a great mom. He'll take what you've taught him and move forward with it.
I keep thinking about you and your son off to join the Navy and worrying about you has helped me, if that makes any sense. I hope he is doing well and that you are okay.



DS18 has been gone 10 days now. We were going to see him last sunday, but when we contacted him, he stated that he and his friends were going to indy for the day -- Oh well, I am glad he is having a good time. OTOH, he has been to see the campus doc twice already for a nasty ear infection he picked up in the pool -- wish I was there to help(feel like I should be). Yesterday was the first day that we did not at least email each other -- trying to let go a little more.
Sad but Proud of him
Scott C


Oh, my Goodness, I don't know what I would do if he got sick, I know I would have driven right down there. I feel awful that he got sick so soon after getting to college. I hope he is doing better.
My DS doesn't email, he texts me, I told him that I need to hear his voice so I know he is okay :)


I know you asked for advice from parents, but I can offer a little insight into the other side.

I'm 24 and in grad school. I vividly remember the day my parents moved me into my freshman dorm. That was hard.

I called home once or twice a week and my mom always told me how proud of me she was before we hung up. Remembering that always made it easier to get through the hard times.

Your DS will always remember what you taught him and carry that with him. I hope that thought helps.

And, you can always look forward to the gobs of laundry that will accompany him home for visits. ;)

That does help. I hope he doesn't bring home the laundry, I gave him laundry detergent! :thumbsup:

I guess I never realized just how much I really truly LIKE my son, I know I love him to death but I enjoy being with him and talking with him.He is very funny and personable.
My youngest DS. Misses his brother alot but he also misses his brothers friends coming by the house to hang out and play video games. DS#2 is not as outgoing as his brother and he isn't the social butterfly that Joe is, So this transition is hitting the young one hard.
Part of my problem is seeing the younger one so sad :(

[Cinderelley]

I keep thinking about you and your son off to join the Navy and worrying about you has helped me, if that makes any sense. I hope he is doing well and that you are okay.



Worrying about you two helps keep my mind off of it. ;)

I was pretty cheery this morning. I was up at 3 am doing laundry and realized there was a lot less to do with him gone. I also thought about him having to get up early and make his bed. I want to be a fly on the wall to see that. Hee-hee-hee.

A lot of the guys at work are helping me through it. They've "been there, done that", and fill me in on all sorts of things. Now I know he won't call for the first few weeks and won't even be able to write for at least the first week, maybe two.

[crazypoohbear]

Well, a lot can change in a week!
My son has decided to stay on campus for the weekend, so I guess he has adjusted well. And quickly!
I'm really happy for him and glad that he is comfortable there but his little brother was really hoping that he would come home, (me too!)
I guess we should be careful what we ask for, we might get it!

[RedSoxFan]

Your son will adjust to his big brother being gone. DD was 9 when DS#1 left for his first year and she was devastated; but she did adjust after a couple of weeks. DS#2 came home the second weekend and is coming home again next weekend. His girlfriend is still in high school which makes it hard for him. Plus DH needs help getting the boat out of the water for the winter.

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

I too was worried about Joe especially when I talked to him Monday night. He just didn't sound like himself. He's very outgoing and he just sounded so sad. So while I'm happy he's doing better, I too am sad that he's not coming home this weekend. But I know he'll be taking us to the airport next week and then joining us 4 days later so that helps.
I guess we'll just have to start shopping at the Mall near his school so we can see him more. I'm just so used to him popping into my store when I'm working, I'll miss that!

[WDWFanatic]

Wow, my oldest is only 13 and now I'm getting nervous for those college days, lol.

But it is so wonderful to see how supportive you all are of each other. I guess that is why :rocks:

This post made me think of the first day my oldest went on the school bus and after he left I started crying. My younger DS started crying also and said "Is he never coming home?" I guess that put it in line for me, but the end of the day is WAY different than the end of the term.

Sending out pixie dust and hugs for all of you going through this.

[RedSoxFan]

I guess we'll just have to start shopping at the Mall near his school so we can see him more.

DS20 goes to Syracuse Univ --- DD and I will go shopping at the mall in Syracuse and DS will stop by for dinner or lunch.

[Scott C]

Well DS18's ear seems to be getting better, classes are going ok, he is wondering what the point is in going to college at all -- especially engineering with all of the hard work. He is taking four classes -- Calculus, Honors Chemisty, Physics, amd graphical communications. He seems to be adjusting OK -- except for all of the drinking going on.

Maybe I will go to Terre Haute and see him tomorrow

Thanks
Scott C

[crazypoohbear]

Well DS18's ear seems to be getting better, classes are going ok, he is wondering what the point is in going to college at all -- especially engineering with all of the hard work. He is taking four classes -- Calculus, Honors Chemisty, Physics, amd graphical communications. He seems to be adjusting OK -- except for all of the drinking going on.

Maybe I will go to Terre Haute and see him tomorrow

Thanks
Scott C

Glad to hear that he is getting better.
That's quite a course load that he is carrying!

Is he doing the drinking or is it all around him?

Right now my son is rooming temperarily with the RA so hopefully he (the RA) is being responsible!

[Scott C]

Well, we went to see him last night. All seems to be going well. No, he has not been drinking, but it seems to be around. He said that it had quieted down somewhat since classes had started. I really think that reality has started to sink in. I think that he is wondering if he has made the right decisions. It is a very tight knit school, it seems that the whole building does things together. He is in one of the smaller halls -- there is only 50 or so living in the building. I just have to keep reminding him that he can do this and that he is very well prepared-- he keeps waiting for it to get harder-- which I am not sure that it will. He just assumed that because it is one of the top engineering schools in the country that it would be so difficult--I assured him that only means that it was that difficult to get in.

Recently watch some video of our 1st WDW trip with him when he was 7 -- I miss those days

Thanks for listening
Scott C