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Cookie123
08-26-2008, 02:48 PM
On a night of a MVMCP in December in 2004 or 2005, I heard the strangest spiel of any Jungle Cruise skipper. I remember it very well because I still have the entire thing on audio tape.
The Skipper put in all kinds of advertising plugs into his speech. In this exact order he said:
1) Drink Coca Cola Products
2) Use Kodak Film
3) Use Hulet Packard Computers
4) Nothing says I love You like
Haagendas Ice Cream (sp)
5) Preparation H
6) Taco Bell
7) Brittany Spears
8) Depends Undergarments -
When You Gotta Go.
9) TGI Fridays

He had a kid helping him do the "steering".
So into the microphone he said:

" That's right buddy, with 8 years of college, a degree, and NOTHING, and low self esteem,
you can be a jungle cruise skipper someday,
just like me".

I can quote him because I still have it on my audio cassette tape. I don't have to rely on memory.

Was anyone else there to hear this on that night ?

KAJUNKING
08-26-2008, 03:13 PM
" That's right buddy, with 8 years of college, a degree, and NOTHING, and low self esteem,
you can be a jungle cruise skipper someday,
just like me".


i wasnt there but that is very funny

CaptainJessicaSparrow
08-26-2008, 03:19 PM
LOL!!!

I am SO taking that skipper line for my next shift.

Although, that might have been Jake. That sounds like something of the things he would say.

Can you send me a copy of the audio file?

My ending spiel is usually something like:

"If you find your feet are wet when you get out of the boat, guess what? You got out on the wrong side. Get back in and try again. That's what my mom always said - if at first you don't succeed, try try again....Yeah, she's really proud....of my brothers. Kids, please stay in school. Do not become a Jungle Cruise Skipper like me."

SAHDad
08-26-2008, 03:24 PM
" That's right buddy, with 8 years of college, a degree, and NOTHING, and low self esteem,
you can be a jungle cruise skipper someday,
just like me".


Heh. When asked about my education, I tell people that I have "a BA in History, or, a 4 year prep course that enables me to ask 'You want fries with that'?"

Imagineer1981
08-26-2008, 03:35 PM
I like when they ad-lib, keeps it fresh

Bethis26fan
08-26-2008, 03:39 PM
lol I just love this ride.

Gator
08-26-2008, 04:40 PM
"If you find your feet are wet when you get out of the boat, guess what? You got out on the wrong side. Get back in and try again. That's what my mom always said - if at first you don't succeed, try try again....Yeah, she's really proud....of my brothers. Kids, please stay in school. Do not become a Jungle Cruise Skipper like me."

:mickey:That part about the brothers is hilarious. I hope I get you as my skipper when I go.

kbean
08-26-2008, 05:07 PM
Thats funny. I can relate. Graduated college and I'm a janitor for the post office.

Mousemates
08-26-2008, 05:17 PM
:

"If you find your feet are wet when you get out of the boat, guess what? You got out on the wrong side. Get back in and try again. "

nice line :laughing:

Goofy Forever
08-26-2008, 05:19 PM
All of that is very funny!!!!

TheRustyScupper
08-26-2008, 06:04 PM
1) At least he put Prep-H before Brittany Spear.
2) I always get a pain when people mention her name.

PAYROLL PRINCESS
08-26-2008, 06:08 PM
1) At least he put Prep-H before Brittany Spear.
2) I always get a pain when people mention her name.

I wonder how many people are going to get that? I thought it was funny.

I've heard them say to stay in college but that was a new speil to me! Poor guy sounds like he really does have low self esteem.

Scott C
08-26-2008, 06:15 PM
One of my favorite rides was a few years ago. We were the only guests on the boat -- and get this the skipper could barely speak english -- she was from China -- I think that it may have been some sort of training for Hong Kong CM's. She knew when something was supposed to be funny, but she did not know the spiel(i.e. she would point and say butterfly and start giggling) There were a couple of suits with clipboards also on board. The whole ride was hilarious. I might have been upset if I was not so familiar with the ride. It made my evening.

Thanks
Scott C

Melanie
08-26-2008, 06:36 PM
We had one a few years back at MNSSHP who was totally off his spiel. I think his name was Tyler. ???? HILARIOUS! He had that boat of women dying with laughter. Absolute best Jungle 'Cruise' of my life!

indytraveler
08-26-2008, 10:34 PM
I've had my share of good ones and bad ones, even had a cruise for my family of 7 one day. "The stroller races down Main St. after Wishes" is always a good one. But this guy sounds like a real keeper. Hope we get him or you CaptainJessica next time.

dnickels
08-27-2008, 12:50 AM
The bit towards the end......

".....[my parents are] really proud....of my sister/brother........ "

must be one of the good standbys because I think I hear that every time I'm on it. Different variations of course, sometimes the brother is a doctor sometimes it's something else.

I love the African elephant / Indian elephant bit too!

PiratesLifeForMe3
08-27-2008, 01:20 AM
One of my favorite rides was a few years ago. We were the only guests on the boat -- and get this the skipper could barely speak english -- she was from China -- I think that it may have been some sort of training for Hong Kong CM's. She knew when something was supposed to be funny, but she did not know the spiel(i.e. she would point and say butterfly and start giggling) There were a couple of suits with clipboards also on board. The whole ride was hilarious. I might have been upset if I was not so familiar with the ride. It made my evening.

Thanks
Scott C

I experienced the same thing. Except in our case I think our Chinese skipper only knew one phrase in English and that was "Still having good time." It was definitely the highlight of our vacation and our family still quotes it today.

CaptainJessicaSparrow
08-27-2008, 07:03 AM
The bit towards the end......

".....[my parents are] really proud....of my sister/brother........ "

must be one of the good standbys because I think I hear that every time I'm on it. Different variations of course, sometimes the brother is a doctor sometimes it's something else.

I love the African elephant / Indian elephant bit too!

A lot of what we say though really isn't OG. Like...our brothers, and the elephants. In fact, most of you have probably never heard a full original spiel.

hlkeck
08-27-2008, 09:58 AM
The line I have remembered since 8th grade...a long long time ago...and I've forever quoted it was "And here is Schweitzer Falls, named after the famous Dr. Albert Falls."

That cracked me up when I was a kid!

And yes, Rusty's post made me laugh out loud (unusual in and of itself), so a few of us got it at least. :mickey:

brownie
08-27-2008, 10:11 AM
My ending spiel is usually something like:

"If you find your feet are wet when you get out of the boat, guess what? You got out on the wrong side. Get back in and try again. That's what my mom always said - if at first you don't succeed, try try again....Yeah, she's really proud....of my brothers. Kids, please stay in school. Do not become a Jungle Cruise Skipper like me."

I like it! I would keep using this one.

sophie peach
08-27-2008, 10:16 AM
wow sounds interseting! i would love to hear the audio tape

disneygeek84
08-27-2008, 10:53 AM
The last time we were there we rode it towards the end of EMH one night and the kid was so funny!He was so preoccupied with everything else going on. We had this really spastic kid on the boat and he kept telling him to "slow your roll" otherwise some animal was going to come and get him. Then at one point we passed a real duck. It was just sitting on a rock, like that's where it always is. And the skipper just says, "Oh look, a duck." And then kept on with his spiel. My family still quotes it to this day.

mcjaco
08-27-2008, 12:03 PM
A couple of years ago, a bunch of my friends (all theme park nuts) went to DL. I think it was the first time we had a Jungle Skipper actually speechless.

Once we told her we were there to see the killer penguins from Norway, I think she knew she was in for it.

blueyedprincess
08-27-2008, 01:37 PM
Once we told her we were there to see the killer penguins from Norway, I think she knew she was in for it.

Is it bad that I just totally busted out laughing on this one???

That's hilarious!:rotfl:

Goes4FastPass
08-27-2008, 01:38 PM
"Don't turn out to be a Jungle Cruise Guide"?

Wasn't John Lassiter a Jungle Cruise Guide once?

CaptainJessicaSparrow
08-27-2008, 02:04 PM
Meh...

We're not talking about them.

Besides, it's a joke. You know, hehe, haha?

We've got tons of them.

I remember someone getting off of the Jungle Cruise and they were like "That wasn't a Jungle Cruise....that was a Pun Cruise!" Uh yeah....that actually is the Jungle Cruise.

'Board a boat with a witty and experienced skipper!' The official description on the signs by the ride.

mcjaco
08-27-2008, 03:29 PM
Is it bad that I just totally busted out laughing on this one???

That's hilarious!:rotfl:

That along with our "Quest for giant carniverous bees, and chain saw wielding bears," she remained rather silent through that journey.

It was fun. At least for us! :D

WDWFREAK101
09-01-2008, 01:41 PM
Did you get his name? Nothing reminds you of going deeper and deeper into the jungle that might be eaten or attacked by pygmies and animals like Preparation H.

"DoYouHaveYourParkPass?"
09-01-2008, 02:21 PM
:mickey:We were on the last "cruise" of the evening in March (2008) and had a similiar experience - the guide was just a hoot. It was our son in law's first trip on Jungle Cruise and I think it likely spoiled him for any other guide.
It's so much fun when the cast members do a little entertaining.
___________________________
25 visits and more to come

DizneyRox
09-01-2008, 03:22 PM
This thread got me thinking, I think there's a Jungle Cruise ride through with a skipper named Jessica out in circulation. Not sure if it's our very own however. Search the usual places you get park audio, I'm sure you'll find it.

CaptainJessicaSparrow
09-02-2008, 01:00 AM
Really?

Can you send me a link in a PM? I can tell you if it's me or not.

DizneyRox
09-02-2008, 01:10 PM
Really?

Can you send me a link in a PM?
Done

CaptainJessicaSparrow
09-02-2008, 03:13 PM
If it was taken in 2007, then it wouldn't have been me. I only started there in the last month. I'll listen to it in a bit.

DizneyRox
09-02-2008, 03:19 PM
I should wait to answer until we have final word, however, I wouldn't say it was a particularly good cruise.

CaptainJessicaSparrow
09-02-2008, 03:46 PM
Definitely not me.

I put a bit more emotion into mine. And my delivery is more dramatic....and sarcastic.

EditReject
09-02-2008, 05:34 PM
The skipper really does make the ride in my opinion. On my most recent trip I had an English (I believe) fella by the name of Roger and he was great. He was really into it and even though it was probably his 40th trip of the day, it was his first with us and he was very enthusiastic and witty.

And speaking of good lines, years ago I had a skipper talk about his previous job:

"I was an ex-orange juice factory worker but I got canned....they said I could not concentrate!"

I'll never forget that line.:mickey:

Dopeysgal
09-03-2008, 10:24 AM
That sounds like fun.I think I will have to give JC another try. We went on it once and really did not enjoy it, especially after the long, long line. The skipper said the jokes, but he was really kind of flat and emotionless, the kids liked the jokes, but I didn't enjoy it. I think we will have to give it another chance in october!

BMan62
09-03-2008, 10:49 AM
You have to take into account that some skippers will take their crowd into account - if the crowd groans, laughs, throws things, etc. at appropriate times in his/her spiel, then they will get into the mood more and make it more enjoyable for all. You get a bunch of "gloomy Gus's" on a boat and it brings the whole ride experience down.

DisneyAggies
09-03-2008, 11:33 AM
LOL
I can't wait to get back!!

We ALWAYS take the last cruise of the evening (or close to it). Those are always more fun!!

brad192
09-03-2008, 04:22 PM
Just had an idea :idea: - With all the Intercotees visiting in December, wouldn't it be fun to get an entire boatload of us for a cruise - with Jessica as our skipper? :captain: Might take some planning, but I bet it would be worth it! :thumbsup:

rkb
09-03-2008, 10:04 PM
I think we had that skipper this past May. He let my youngest DS 6 pilot the boat. My DS still believes he saved us from crashing.

CaptainJessicaSparrow
09-04-2008, 02:05 AM
Just had an idea :idea: - With all the Intercotees visiting in December, wouldn't it be fun to get an entire boatload of us for a cruise - with Jessica as our skipper? :captain: Might take some planning, but I bet it would be worth it! :thumbsup:

It would be since I'd have to pick up the shift to work the JC that day. I'm technically not there anymore. I am a Character Attendant.

Mousemates
09-04-2008, 08:42 AM
I think we had that skipper this past May. He let my youngest DS 6 pilot the boat. My DS still believes he saved us from crashing.

my son (now much older than siz) had a similar experience several years ago....it made for a great set of memories.