View Full Version : siblings

08-14-2008, 06:15 PM
I have sisters and brothers that follow my every move. when I buy new things they complain about it. I have planned a trip to disney in the past and when I came back the gave me a lecture that I give my kids everything. I have a 2008 trip planned and I am actually afraid to tell them. we are leaving in 10 days and I havn't told a soul except for my daughters I have told them not to tell anyone that we are going to dw. I just don't want to hear their stupid opinions anymore.I am 49 yrs old the oldest sibling and they treat me like a 2 yr old they even try to ask my children to tell them my business.any ideas on how or if I should tell them or should I just sneak off and not mention it?they know I am going on vacation they keep asking me where I am going and I change the subject.any suggestions?

08-14-2008, 07:09 PM
Just go and have a good time and don't worry about what they say. They are jealous that they aren't going.

08-14-2008, 07:12 PM
Since this is regarding a trip to Disney World you may want to post this there instead of the Disneyland forum. You will probably get more replies and advice.

Madame Leona
08-14-2008, 07:53 PM
Just go and don't tell them. You need to live your life for you and your children, not your siblings. If they start to get negative about it, kindly say this discussion is over and you need to mind your own business. If you wouldn't let a friend talk to you in this manner, you shouldn't let family.

08-14-2008, 08:54 PM
I tell my family only what they need to know. Life is much simpler if I don't tell everyone everything.

As far as them stating you spoil your kids by taking them places and buying things may just be pure jealousy. Good luck with that one!

Have a wonderful time on your vacation and remember: your siblings are not there :thumbsup:

08-14-2008, 09:28 PM
Just go and bring them all back a shirt. That should keep 'em quiet.

08-14-2008, 10:37 PM
You don't owe them any explanation for where you go or why! My brother has no idea I am going to DL in 10 days! Why should he care? (except to say "have a nice time")

As for spoiling your kids....thats between you and your kids!! :thumbsup: It's your kids, your vacation, your money, and your time off of work. Enjoy it!!!

08-14-2008, 10:45 PM
I do sympatrhize with your situation, not so much with family (thou I did have a sis in law who was kind of whiny when we did stuff) as with some folks at my last place of employment...who constantly chimed in with annnoying comments.

So I quit talking to them about vacations prioor to departure...just let them miss me when I was gone and when they asked where I went I simply said....on vacation with my family.

I agree with the poster who said limiting what the rest ofthe family knows about what your doing and where your going can be a good thing.

08-15-2008, 11:20 AM
If you do tell them, be sure to tell AFTER the vacation, that way you won't stress while you're at Disney. If they start in on you, think of your wonderful memories and remind yourself how they're just jealous that they weren't there.

08-15-2008, 11:34 AM
ignore them an go have fun!:mickey: There are enough of us here to be happy for you and share in your joy!

08-15-2008, 11:50 AM
As long as you are not begging them for the money to make the trip, they have no right or reason to pass judgement on when, where or why you go on vacation, or with whom.

08-15-2008, 11:54 AM
I feel your pain my mom is the same way. we told her we wer egoing again in june when we had just been there may of last year. her responce was why are you going again so soon once is enough for your kids some kids don;t even get that . my responce was yeah I know but we can do and we will do it and i will be creating excellent memories for my kids and that will pass on to their kids. and she shut right up . her thing was she is upset because i am in better words a better mom then she was or is and that ticks her off. so Just go have fun and who cares what your family thinks. as another poster said life your life for you and your kids not anyone else.

08-15-2008, 12:18 PM
Who are they to tell you how to live? More importantly, why are you listening, and why are you letting them feel that their opinions hold weight?

My friend has a theory that all families have their own dance. Everyone gets used to the choreography and just keeps doing the same, expected steps to keep the rhythm. But if this dance is getting tedious and not working for you-- break step! Make up your own moves. The family members won't like it, but life is better for you when you're doing your own dance instead of falling into step with the others. And who knows, maybe the whole family will adjust their dance to fit in with your new choreography. :)

08-15-2008, 02:59 PM
Why do they have anything to say?
Why do you give them power over you?

Unless you are complaining about not being able to make ends meet or they are supporting you in some way what is it to them what you do with or without your kids?

Are your kids spoiled or are they spoiled brats?
If they are brats and their behavior is affecting the family in some negative way then they "Might" have a grounds to say something.
If your kids are not brats that your siblings support then tell them to back off.

08-15-2008, 03:02 PM
I feel your pain. My mom and one of my siblings and his family love WDW and totally understand why we continue going back. My DH's family also loves WDW as much as us. However, my oldest brother and his wife and kids just don't get it. They have been a few times and think it is too expensive and just not all that fun (well the kids loved it, just not DB and his wife). And its not just WDW it seems to be anything and everything we do and buy. They are always passing comments about how could we afford a new house, send our kids to private school and still go on several vacations a year. Anytime we buy anything they have some sort of comment. And their kids often ask me "Why do yall go on vacation so much?" What it all boils down to, in my opinion, is jealousy. Just because I am the youngest in my family my older siblings just assume that my family should have "less" than them. They just assume that they and their families make more money or whatever. It kills them that we do the things we do. I just started telling them it was none of their business, or that the day I ask them to bail me out of finacial trouble then they could tell me how to live my life. Until that happens, mind your business. It seems to have stopped some of the comments, but I still see the looks they give us when vacation or purchases come up. I just try to not let it bother me, or I remind myself that they are the ones letting jealousy eat away at them. I actually feel sorry for people who have nothing better to do than worry about what other people are doing with their time or money. It must be miserable being them. Go, have a great time, and just tell your family that as long as you can provide these things for your family without their help then they shouldn't have any problems with it. I hope you have a wonderful, stress free vacation.

08-15-2008, 03:36 PM
Who are they to tell you how to live? More importantly, why are you listening, and why are you letting them feel that their opinions hold weight?

I agree. Tell them or don't tell them, it doesn't matter. Let them think what they want.

08-15-2008, 07:55 PM
No my children are not spoiled brats infact the appreciate every thing we buy them they thank us many times for it and very rarely ask for anything. they love when we even take them for an ice cream never mind a trip to dw

08-15-2008, 08:36 PM
As long as you are not having to borrow money from them because you spent too much on your trip, I say its none of their business...if you don't want to tell them where you are going, then don't....we have some negative people in our family that seem to get more enjoyment in telling others what to do than in living their own lives....what we've learned is let it go in one ear and out the other:-o Have a great time

08-15-2008, 09:07 PM
As long as you're not breaking any laws, please yourself. No matter how hard you try, you can never please everyone. If they have constant comments, I'd talk to them about it. Calmly and avoiding breaking any family ties. Ultimately, try to roll with the punches. People like that are just hurting themselves by worrying about others' lives. So don't let them hurt you too by dwelling on it.

08-15-2008, 11:57 PM
If they are going to be so rude as to question you or make comments I'd just say "And this is your concern, why? Until you are supporting me it's not your business what I do, when I do it or how I do it." Not very polite but it's right to the point and hopefully will shut them up at least for a while.
Go and enjoy your trip! Better yet tell them you are more than happy to help THEM plan their own trip, however do NOT invite them on your trip.

08-16-2008, 05:11 PM
The only justifications I could see for them being upset would be.......

1. If you're not really the one paying for the trip -i.e. if the parents/grandparents are paying for you to go and the other siblings don't get their vacations paid for.


2. If your siblings can't afford to take these trips they might resent hearing about them at all. I love hearing about people's trips, but I could see how if someone was unable to afford those things then hearing everyone else talk about their trips would cause some resentment. The kids might be excited to tell their aunt/uncle/cousins all about their trip to Disney, but for someone who might never get that chance it might feel like rubbing salt in the wound.

As others have said, as long as you're paying with your own money you earn and keep up with your bills don't worry about it! :thumbsup: