Is this rude...?

[meldan98]

Is this rude or am I being a hormonal pregnant woman???

I got a phone call in early June from someone I haven't spoken to in over 3 years. She lives in GA and I live in CA. We both used to work for the same company and would talk all the time on the phone and by email. I even had a chance to go out to GA for work once and she played tour guide. When she came out to CA, I played tour guide. We just both went our seperate ways and moved on with life. Out of the blue, I get a call from her.

She told me that she and her brother and his family were coming out to CA to go to Disneyland and she was wondering if I could give her planning tips and give her hotel info. We spent time talking about other stuff and I told her I would love to help her.

I put together a list of hotels, checked their availablity, and gave her a variety of choices based on the size of their group. I gave her some tips and suggestions on rides, food, other things to do in CA. I spent about 3-4 hours putting stuff together for her. I sent her an email and then called her to tell her I sent her some info. She said thanks and I told her to call me if she had any questions or needed anything else. I also mentioned that I couldn't wait to hear from her about their trip.

I have yet to hear back from her at all, no thank you, no we had a great time, no update that they decided not to go...NOTHING. It's been 3 weeks since they were supposed to go. I just feel used for my Disney info. I'm sure I'm just over-reacting...:(

[gerald72]

Why don't you try calling her?

[MississippiDisneyFreak]

Its a little rude, but maybe something went wrong....I would try calling her too:blush:

[ibelieveindisneymagic]

It is a little rude, but I'm hoping that she's just busy and getting sorted out from the trip.

I agree that I would give her a call and see how it went.

I'm sure she really appreciated all of your advice and help, even if she hasn't said so!

[pink]

The first thing that came to my mind was maybe she changed the dates of her trip. If not, then I know when my family gets back from a vacation we need a week or two to get out lifes back in motion again. I would give her another week and if she doesn't contact you I would call or her or send her an email saying "I thought I would have heard from you by now, how was your trip?" :mickey:

[dephenn]

It is rude, and no you are not over reacting. You had no obligation to help this person and it had to be obvious to her how much time you must have put into all you did to ensure that her and her brother's family had a great time. I know last year I gave a coworker some advise for a Disney trip that save him over $1200 and unexpectedly he gave me a $50 gift card. She should've called you when she was out there and tried to get together and treat you to a dinner after all you did, never mind wait till she got home. Like your life isn't busy enough with a child on the way. Some people were just raised wrong.

[ChipnDaleGal]

It strikes me as rude. Sending you some sort of email at the very least to thank you and say they had a (hopefully) great time would be polite thing for her to do.

[Princess'Mom]

I agree - not very nice -she should have at the very least given an acknowledgement for all of the help you gave her.
With that being said, I wouldn't give it another thought. BUT the next time she asks for something - let her know there are plenty of books and web sites that she could check out and leave it at that! ;)

[crazypoohbear]

She could have several reasons for not getting back to you yet.
I would send off an email saying
"Hi, I hope all went well with the trip! I can't wait to here if all my hard work paid off for you all. Drop me a line or call and let me know if everything went well. Talk to you soon. SuzyQ"
That's all you need to say then the ball is in her court. THEN if you don't here back you have a reason to be upset.
She could just be caught up with getting things back in order at home and work before dropping you a line. Give her the benefit of the doubt and make the first move.

Today we are so quick to write off / Judge others when we have no idea what is going on in their lives behind the scenes. I know I have to work at letting things roll off my back and I jump to quickly at getting "hurt" when it sometimes has nothing to do with me...

[MNNHFLTX]

Your friend has not been especially thoughtful (so far), but it may not have been intentional. In the hustle and bustle of life, people do occasionally forget to follow through on such things. Drop her a line, as others have suggested, or just take heart in the fact that you tried to be helpful to them, whether they appreciated it or not. She may still surprise you with a thank-you note. :)

[brownie]

It would be nice to be thanked, but there could be a good reason. Since you haven't heard from her, maybe something happened. I would try contacting her and ask how things went.

[Closet Disney Fan]

While it goes along with what everyone else has said, I think it is rude as well. At the very minimum there should have been an immediate thank you when the information was given. But since you nor I are aware of the situation on the lady I think it is hard to say much more about it. I would give her a few more days and then maybe send an email off asking how it went as said earlier. Good luck, thank God for thoughtful people who are willing to help others out when it comes to things like this, it would be nice to at least give a proper thank you.

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

Maybe she thought the thank you she said when you gave her the info was enough. But she still could have shot you a quick email telling you that they had fun and what worked out for them the best. I'd send her an email and ask how things went.
I know when I get back I usually have a ton of things to do and feel like I spend every hour just trying to get caught up.

[Vito]

This is a tough one. It's hard to know what a person is thinking. And while you probably should have gotten a "thanks for the help, we had a great time!" sometimes some people just aren't like that.

The other thing to consider is that maybe the trip was a disaster :eek: and she didn't want to make you feel guilty by telling you.

I usually try to give people, especially ones who are friends or used to be friends, the benefit of the doubt.

I tend to not be a very patient person, and I would have called to ask how everything went and perhaps subtly act like you were expecting some kind of feedback. Something like "I hadn't heard from you and was just wondering how everything turned out". Like I said, though, I'm not very patient and also very curious by nature :P

[LauraleeH]

Yes, it's rude if all is well and she just didn't want to take 5 minutes out of her day to tell you. But...my mom went through a situation where she recently came in contact with a friend from high school. The woman just stopped responding to her emails one day. My mom was upset, but it had been a few months so she forgot all about it. Well tonight, she finally got an email! Apparently, she had been in the hospital for the past 2 months. So I'd definitely give her an email or call (Or both) and make sure all is well.

[Marker]

I guess I'm just a push-over or something. I really don't see that it's any big deal. Sure, a follow up might have been nice, but I sure don't see it as anything I've give a second thought to, much less get all bothered and upset by.

Under the category of choosing your battles in life, this would be WAY DOWN on my list, if it made the list at all. Life's too short.

But that's just me.

[prprincess]

I do agree with everyone else that says it's rude. Yes we are all busy, so I think that the fact that you took time out of your life to help this person out, and you heard nothing from her afterwards is annoying. Honestly, it's one of my biggest pet peeves and I've just learned who does it, and delete their emails (because with me it's the same people all the time). Regardless, I'd still be curious, so send her an email and ask how it went. See if she replies then.

[tinkerbellybutton]

She could have several reasons for not getting back to you yet.
I would send off an email saying
"Hi, I hope all went well with the trip! I can't wait to here if all my hard work paid off for you all. Drop me a line or call and let me know if everything went well. Talk to you soon. SuzyQ"
That's all you need to say then the ball is in her court. THEN if you don't here back you have a reason to be upset.
She could just be caught up with getting things back in order at home and work before dropping you a line. Give her the benefit of the doubt and make the first move.

Today we are so quick to write off / Judge others when we have no idea what is going on in their lives behind the scenes. I know I have to work at letting things roll off my back and I jump to quickly at getting "hurt" when it sometimes has nothing to do with me...


It would be nice to be thanked, but there could be a good reason. Since you haven't heard from her, maybe something happened. I would try contacting her and ask how things went.


I completely agree with the previous posters, where it might not be the most polite way to deal with it, and it's certainly not the way I would, she may have very good reason not to have contacted you. I say send her a quick, "How are you" email and put "the ball in her court" so to speak. I had a similar experience, a girlfriend asked me to help with her trip planning to Maine etc. Turns out, shortly before her trip she found out the husband was cheating and had run up credit card debt, etc. It took her a long time to come to terms with everything and she was just too embarrassed to call me right away and I'm ok with that. There could be any number of reasons why she hasn't called. Good luck to you and :pixie: for your friendship.