Giving up your seat on the bus

[RockinRollerMom]

I have hesitated posting this thread just because the subject is such a heated one for me.

In the past I have traveled with my disable DF (walks with a cane) and two in-laws mid 60's. It is so hard for me to board a bus to/from a park and watch them uncomfortably stand when a young gentleman is sitting comfortable and doesn't offer them his seat. This is especially frustrating when it comes to DF because he is visably disabled. I have asked people nicely for a seat for him, but I don't feel like I should have to. Where are peoples manners?

I understand that some people might have an illness or disability that would require them to need a seat that I can not see with a naked eye. However this happens so frequently that I can not imagain that this is the case every time.

Both DH and myself offer seats to children and the eldrely every single time. It is just how I was raised. Does any-one have any experience with this or advice on how to deal with my boiling frustration that seems to happen every tri?. I wish Disney would post a sign on their buses about offering seats to the disabled, elderly and small children. Not only is it a manners thing it really is a safetly issue as well.

[Tinkerfreak]

I totally agree with you. My DH will stand to offer his seat to any woman, child, elderly etc. My 2 DD's even from the time they were younger would offer their seat to an older person or someone disabled. We just automatically do this. It is just the manners we have been taught and we taught them to our children. Usually when people see my 2 DD's ages 10 and 13 get up and politely offer someone a seat they sometimes stand up themselves and offer a seat. I know that like you stated some people may truly need to sit for whatever reason but I do think that alot of kids are just not being taught common courtesy or manners any more. Not only does my husband always hold the door for a lady but I and my 2 DD's have been known to do the same thing. I just love seeing the reaction when you hold the door for someone or offer them a seat. They are usually surprised and then are very thankful.

[Mickey'sGirl]

Unfortunately, I think we are caught up in the "all about me" generation. I see it every day on the public transit I use to get to work -- and I see it at WDW too. I am one of those who really needs to sit, but does not look like I do (I have extremely painful Rheumatoid Arthritis, but am often seen running after my DS4 -- I am young and don't look like I have a medical condition). Our solution is to drive. If we have flown down, we rent a car. It's an added expense, but it is how we have decided to handle the bus situation for our family. I hope that you find a way to make your trip a good one -- even on the bus!

[elmjimmlm]

I very frequently have given up my seat to others as others have to me and my kids...I dont have a problem giving up a seat...Usually the ride is not that long and there are people that need it more than I do...Why people cant see that is beyond me...We actually had a driver once that announced that if you are able to stand and are sitting then give your seat to someone that cant...

[joeyGibson]

We got back from WDW on Friday, and other than myself, I don't think I saw more than one or two other men offering up their seats during the whole 10 days. I stood more than I sat on this trip, even one night coming back from EPCOT with feet that felt like I was standing on broken glass. These young people today don't know what courtesy and etiquette are anymore.

[LauraF]

In general, I think many people are absorbed into their own world and genuinely don't notice what's going around them enough. Perhaps they're focused on what they're going to do next, to the point where they don't pay attention to 'now.'

I don't think very many people are so selfish to hold onto a seat when someone else could use it more than them. But they simply don't realize another needs it. Hence why if one person gets up it jolts the awareness back off themselves and they see what's really going on.

Let me add this: I'm not saying this to excuse the behavior, because there really is no reason to tune out form your surroundings in public to that point.

[buzznwoodysmom]

In general, I think many people are absorbed into their own world and genuinely don't notice what's going around them enough. Perhaps they're focused on what they're going to do next, to the point where they don't pay attention to 'now.'

I don't think very many people are so selfish to hold onto a seat when someone else could use it more than them. But they simply don't realize another needs it. Hence why if one person gets up it jolts the awareness back off themselves and they see what's really going on.

Let me add this: I'm not saying this to excuse the behavior, because there really is no reason to tune out form your surroundings in public to that point.


I have to agree with this. There are times, OK most of the time, that I am so wrapped up in making sure my children are behaving, or are seated properly, or they just have my full attention for one reason or another that I probably don't notice half the stuff going on around me. I have said this a million times, I could have a very well known celebrity standing by me in line at WDW and I would probably never notice because most the time I am so completely wrapped up in making sure my children are behaving and we are having a good time. I guess that is kind of a bad thing, but I really don't notice too much going on around us sometimes. I try to enjoy being there with my family and spending time with my children and finally being able to truly give my family my undivided attention.

That being said, DH is very much a gentleman, and always offers his seat to those who need it. There are lots of times he'll get up to offer his seat, then I'll have the boys sit on my lap to make room for others. While I think a lot of people are like me and just don't really notice what's going on around them due to being preoccupied with their children, I also think the OP is right and there are lots of people out there who just don't have any manners. It has become a "me, me, me" world, and it's ashamed because it really is so very easy to be polite and have manners.

[RockinRollerMom]

That being said, DH is very much a gentleman, and always offers his seat to those who need it. There are lots of times he'll get up to offer his seat, then I'll have the boys sit on my lap to make room for others. While I think a lot of people are like me and just don't really notice what's going on around them due to being preoccupied with their children, I also think the OP is right and there are lots of people out there who just don't have any manners. It has become a "me, me, me" world, and it's ashamed because it really is so very easy to be polite and have manners.


I forgot to mention this in my original post. If at all possible please but your children sit on your lap. It opens up a seat for some-one who really needs it. Unfortunelty, on our last trip my DH and I resorted to initially taking seats then waiting for some-one who needed it to get up and offer ithe seat to them. If we started out standing than a young adult would just come and take it.

[senderella]

I agree 100%. What has happened to our manners! I am not too young to know that you should always give up your seat to others.....even if you have waited through several buses and it is midnight and you are dead tired! I am trying to teach my two DS (14 and 8) to be polite and give up a seat. I try to remind them that in 60 years....they may need to sit there and hopefully someone will give them a seat!
Huge pet peeve of mine at WDW!

[Breochaid]

I completely agree! On our last trip in '06, my DH rarely sat. He was usually always standing, while holding the diaper bag and stroller so that others, who needed a seat, could sit. I would almost always sit with our two children (ages almost 3 and 5 months at the time) on my lap. One bus trip, there were no seats left and no one offered me or my DD (2 yrs.) a seat, so we had to stand, and I was holding DS (5 mos.). Needless to say, the bus learched and I almost fell, that is when someone finally got up so that I could sit down and hold the 2 children. Honestly, what does it take to get through to some people!!! :mad:

[MauiMouse]

It is just how I was raised.

I totally agree, I was raised that way too. I will give up my seat to anyone on a WDW bus. I don't mind stand, it's usually not that far of a bus ride from park to resort anyway.

[busterthebronco]

i offer all the time but they almostnever take me up on it.

[Sean Riley Taylor's Mom]

My husband and two sons will always give up their seats for others on the bus.
I used to give up mine as well but, after having 4 knee surgeries my balance is not what it used to be. I am one of the ones that unless you look at my knee, which is usually hard to miss since I have to wear a brace in WDW, you would wonder why I was not giving up my seat. I am only 33 and look fit and healthy.
My 4 year old daughter sits on my lap unless the bus is empty.
I will say though, that I will not stand with my daughter. I am not steady enough to hold her and I do not feel comfortable with her standing. My husband is usually standing too and is not comfortable holding her either while the bus is moving. So, if we see that the bus is standing only we will wait for another bus. I never assume that there will be someone that will give up their seat. There have been quite a few times that my sons have been upset with having to wait for another bus at the end of the night but, we do what we feel is safer for us.

[Soul_Power]

I saw this happening (and NOT happening, in some cases) A LOT when we were at WDW last summer. I know that we're ALL tired after a long day at the parks, but cmon people! For my boyfriend and me, it was automatic for us to give up our seats.

[RockinRollerMom]

Thank you all so much for your posts! If makes me feel good to realize that I am not alone.

[GrumpyFan]

I will always offer my seat when I see others (kids, ladies, handicapped, etc.) and I will make all 3 of my boys do the same. It's the right thing to do.

I've been on a couple busses where the driver actually came over the loudspeaker and asked some the men to be gentlemen and offer their seat to those needing it. It's a shame really that they have to ask. :shake: One bus driver actually said he wasn't going to move the bus until some of the men got up and allowed the ladies to sit. Hoorah! :thumbsup:

[mrsgaribaldi]

I would give up my seat too. We don't use the bus system but I give it up at other times. Like in the beginning of Ellen's Energy Adventure. I will give up my seat to late comers that need it, :mickey:

[biodtl]

My family always gives up seats for those who need it - older folks, pregnant women, small children, etc. The only one I don't make stand yet is my youngest, since she can't quite balance yet on a moving bus. Even though DH has an injury that makes standing/balancing difficult, he still does it.

It's frustrating when people don't. When I was hugely pregnant (I was never in WDW during those times) and took the bus, the people who most often gave up their seat for me were teenaged boys (the grown men didn't), so clearly a lot of moms out there are teaching their kids the right thing.

[BluewaterBrad]

I have to say I agree 100% with your feelings. I just always assume a situation of needing a seat arising on every trip so I just automatically head to the lean post at the back door. I love the ride from there!!:mickey:

[jans2kids]

My DH and DS's (11&13) are always giving up their seats. Most of the time when we know the bus is going to be crowded they don't even bother to sit down, we try to move as far to the back as possible too. Thats the other thing that bothers me is the first people on the bus plop down in the very first seat, fill the bus from the back to the front please.

[Dragongirlx]

I would agree with what everyone says here and when I am well I always give up my seat to those who need it.

However there are times when I can't and I have been yelled at and been subjected to horrible whispers and pointing.

I am 31 years old and have suffered from osteoarthritis since I was 13. This cause both my knees to swell and becoe stiff and painful making it very difficult for me to walk. I don't always have to use a cane so until you see me move you wouldn't think there is anything wrong with me.

Ever since this started I have never been able to sit in the seats on buses designed for disabled people or even downstairs on our double decker buses with out recieving some negative comment from someone. I have even had elderley people shout at me for taking their seats even whn I clearly had my cane with me. I then had to move to let them sit and I either had to stand or drag myself upstairs.
This has even happened in disney after a long day when my knees were extremley sore and I was having troble just standing. My twin sister had to announce in a loud voice to the whole bus that I couldn't move because of my arthritis and then she was challenged that I couldn't possibly have arthrtis as I was so young.

I realise that not everyone has these problem but I would just like to caution you all that just because someone looks fit it doesn't mean they are and if you really need a seat and no one is moivng try asking before judging

[Jodileigh]

I absolutely agree with you! I have always told my boys (now ages 13 and 8) that they can sit as long as the bus isn't full and there are no ladies (yes, we are old fashioned and a man should ALWAYS offer his seat to a lady unless the man has a disability which hinders him from doing so), elderly, or disabled. That is not optional for us. I think respect and common courtesy are two things which are not taught or practiced nearly enough in today's society. I don't think you should have to ask someone to let a handicapped individual have a seat. Then again, I also teach my boys to hold doors for others, say please and thank you, etc! Call me old fashioned! I'm good with that!:cool::D

Jodi

[Bethis26fan]

Unfortunately, I think we are caught up in the "all about me" generation. I see it every day on the public transit I use to get to work -- and I see it at WDW too. I am one of those who really needs to sit, but does not look like I do (I have extremely painful Rheumatoid Arthritis, but am often seen running after my DS4 -- I am young and don't look like I have a medical condition). Our solution is to drive. If we have flown down, we rent a car. It's an added expense, but it is how we have decided to handle the bus situation for our family. I hope that you find a way to make your trip a good one -- even on the bus!


You are right it is all about me now. If I see someone that needs a seat I give it up. I felt horriable about it the last day of our trip last year, I had sprained my ankel before the trip and that last day was at epcot and all the walking I was in so much pain there was no way I could stand and there was someone I could gave my seat up too, but I was just hurting so bad I knew I couldn't stand. Thankful about 1/3 of the way back a man gave up his seat for them.

As far as RA my mom had that she's only 48 and it's to the point she has to have the IV med's, but to look at her you wouldn't know she has needs like that.

[Disnamic Duo]

My wife and I often give up our seats (on the monorails - we don't ride the buses) to others who look like they need to sit more than we do. Families (husbands AND wives) with small children, elderly folks, handicapped, or if they just plain look like they could use the seat more than us. However, I don't believe being female alone, necessarily constitutes a greater need to sit than being male.

...now donning flame retardant suit.

[d_m_n_n]

Oh this subject makes me :mad:!

A couple trips ago we were on our way back from the MK on the boat to WL. We were so tired and I was holding my then almost 3yo (DH was carrying DS7). A very polite man...mid 30's...stood up and offered his seat to me. I was so appreciative and genuinely thanked him for the gesture. As I sat down, his wife threw a FIT!!! "Why did you do that? Here, scoot over and sit here...":thedolls: I felt like a complete idiot that I had accepted his offer. Had I not been holding an exhausted child I probably would have declined, but I was desperate. DH was just glad he wasn't the one going to her room that night!! ;)

Now, DSs 10 and 6 know common manners. They hold doors for anyone (sometimes at Cracker Barrel we lose DS10 because he continues to hold the door :) ) and DS10 is at the age where he can give up his seat to someone needing it. Common courtesies are still important for children to learn.

Now...don't get me started on people totally ignoring polite gestures and won't say "Thank you"...:thedolls:

[cal5755]

My wife and I often give up our seats (on the monorails - we don't ride the buses) to others who look like they need to sit more than we do. Families (husbands AND wives) with small children, elderly folks, handicapped, or if they just plain look like they could use the seat more than us. However, I don't believe being female alone, necessarily constitutes a greater need to sit than being male.

...now donning flame retardant suit.

I agree with you 100 percent. I have had gentlemen offer me a seat and I will say... thank you but I am sure your tired too... I have no problem standing so long as my mom and dd 4 have a seat. The rest of us are perfectly healthy and can stand if necessary. I have no problem letting DH take a seat while I stand either... he tends to do a lot more carrying of the children/bags etc during our trip so as long as everyone standing is healthy and able why shouldn't he have a seat.... if he is willing to give up the seat for me sometimes I am willing to give up a seat for him sometimes. I know that is a bit off topic and I am talking ONLY when everybody else who is standing is a healthy adult/older child.

[Stitchahula]

I guess I've been lucky the 2 times I've gone with my small children people have been really nice. I've always been offered a seat if the bus was full sometimes it was the mother telling her teen to get up so I could sit down. When it was my sister and myself with my 7 week old and my 4 y/o plus 2 strollers we've even had some people help us with the strollers. I know thats not always the case and it's sad that the world has come to a point where people don't think of offering to take a second out of their time to help a stranger.

[DISFREAKS]

Maybe I'm just stuck in the 50s but I do believe you should give up you seat to a female. It is simply the right thing to do.

[IloveDisney71]

My family always offers seats to small children, older people, or people with disabilties. That being said, my DH has a disability that is not noticable to the naked eye, but standing for a long period of time, especially if he has to hold on to an upper rail, really taxes him. He always feels bad if he needs to stay seated. I try not to judge others because I know how he feels, but I agree that more people should be kinder about giving up a seat to others in need.

[Mickey Loves Golf]

As a bus driver...if a guest comes up to me and tells me they have a special need and need a seat I will go to those seats clearly marked "Reserved", politely ask the guest sitting there if they need the seat....99% say no...then inform them there is a guest that needs this seat and that seat is reserved for those with special needs and would you mind please giving it up for them (we are trained to do so). I have never had a guest refuse or get irate at my request. As a matter of fact...I usually get several people to stand up and offer their seat...I then thank the guest who complied for being part of our magic.

I even had an elderly guest standing in a queue that didn't want to get on the bus because all the seats were full - no one was standing. She said she was hot and wasn't feeling well (it was brutal that day) and wanted to wait for the next bus so she could sit. She would have been waiting in the hot sun so I asked if someone wanted to be a part of some Disney Magic and let this guest get out of the sun....about 80% of the bus stood up.

If you have a special need and require a seat be sure to ask the bus driver for some help...we will (should) try to to accomodate you.

[RockinRollerMom]

I even had an elderly guest standing in a queue that didn't want to get on the bus because all the seats were full - no one was standing. She said she was hot and wasn't feeling well (it was brutal that day) and wanted to wait for the next bus so she could sit. She would have been waiting in the hot sun so I asked if someone wanted to be a part of some Disney Magic and let this guest get out of the sun....about 80% of the bus stood up.

If you have a special need and require a seat be sure to ask the bus driver for some help...we will (should) try to to accomodate you.


I wish more bus drivers were like you. I was traveling with MIL last December and she had knee surgery a few months before. (MIL is in her mid 60's and looks at least that) When we were leaving AK one night the bus was pretty full. As we boarded the bus I explained our situation to the bus driver and we were told that we would have to wait for the next bus if we needed a seat. Maybe this was an isolated incident or there were other factors involved. However there were not any ECV's on the bus and all MIL needed was a seat. So instead of making a scene and myself making an announcement for MIL needed a seat we exited the bus and waited for the next one.

[eeyorelovesme]

I don't know why but even if there are avaliable seats on the bus I stand anyway just incase there is someone who needs the seat more. It makes the bus ride more enjoyable when you are standing up. I think I just like the sudden lurches. :secret: :mickey:

[Jodileigh]

As a bus driver...if a guest comes up to me and tells me they have a special need and need a seat I will go to those seats clearly marked "Reserved", politely ask the guest sitting there if they need the seat....99% say no...then inform them there is a guest that needs this seat and that seat is reserved for those with special needs and would you mind please giving it up for them (we are trained to do so). I have never had a guest refuse or get irate at my request. As a matter of fact...I usually get several people to stand up and offer their seat...I then thank the guest who complied for being part of our magic.

I even had an elderly guest standing in a queue that didn't want to get on the bus because all the seats were full - no one was standing. She said she was hot and wasn't feeling well (it was brutal that day) and wanted to wait for the next bus so she could sit. She would have been waiting in the hot sun so I asked if someone wanted to be a part of some Disney Magic and let this guest get out of the sun....about 80% of the bus stood up.

If you have a special need and require a seat be sure to ask the bus driver for some help...we will (should) try to to accomodate you.

Very cool! It's nice to be reminded that while there are those people who do not care about others around them, the biggest majority of them DO CARE and would gladly give up a seat to help someone out. Those are the folks who really have the Disney Magic within them!:mickey:

Jodi

[5fromabove]

My DH never sits on the bus unless it is fairly empty. I always put one or both of our youngest DD's on my lap and squish the kids together as much as we can. DH will stand and hold one of the kids too if need be (while holding a rail). He tries to teach the boys that it's simply a matter of manners to get up and offer your seat to a lady, elderly, etc. On the same note, I only sit because I have a child on my lap and feel like it wouldn't be safe to stand with them in my arms. I've tried to get DH to sit, and I've offered to stand and hold the strollers, etc. He won't hear of it (I know he's tired too...and deserves to get off his feet as much as I do). I guess my point is that the I don't feel it's so much a gender thing as it is a need...some people need to sit for a variety of reasons and it's polite to offer them the seats. Unfortunately, I have seen a LOT of people who refuse to get up, sad really. However, I make a point of trying to be sure our family is being polite...and not judging why someone else isn't getting up.
To the OP, I would maybe speak the bus drivers and see if they can help you get a seat for your DF and IL's. I do remember seeing the "reserved" seats that were mentioned above.

[pdrlkr]

Unfortunately manners just don't exist anymore! :shake:

[GLM]

I sit for everyone else's benefit. I have very little wrist strength and would go flying if the bus ever made a quick stop. I'll even wait for the next bus if there is no more sitting room.

Honestly, I hate that anyone has to stand. Most states have seatbelt laws, yet you can go 50mph while standing on a bus? Just does not sound safe to me at all.

[Nascfan]

I don't know why but even if there are avaliable seats on the bus I stand anyway just incase there is someone who needs the seat more. It makes the bus ride more enjoyable when you are standing up. I think I just like the sudden lurches. :secret: :mickey:

LOL! I thought my daughter and myself were the only ones that liked to stand! It makes the bus feel like a thrill ride. :D