Jungle Cruise

[Tigerinvestigator]

Just found out Jungle Cruise will be closed on our trip in a few weeks. We still love riding this ride at night on all of our trips. We were talking about JC today and we took turns giving our favorite corny lines from the ride. I thought it would be fun to let everyone give one or two of their favorite. I know the "backside of water" is probably a favorite, but what others do you love?

My favorite is "see that plane crash up ahead....it can only mean one thing........anti aircraft hippos"

Alright let's hear yours!:thumbsup:

[Gator]

"I tried to get that jeep started all morning. It looks like those gorillas finally got it to turn over."

[Gator]

ALmost forgot my favorite:

"If you think you're still in the Congo, you're wrong. Your in De Nile."

[gerald72]

Those tigers will leap 10 feet out into the water. So we're going to take the boat within 5 feet of the shore.

[Von-Drake]

"We are approaching beautiful Switzer Falls named after the famous explorer... Dr. Falls"

[AwPhooey]

I don't remember the exact wording, but I like the joke about the guys climbing the pole trying to get away from the rhino:

"That's my friend at the bottom of the pole. His name is A. Hontas. It looks like that rhino is trying to Pocahontas!"

[TheMartellFamily]

Look over head there is the first monorail system.

[JPL]

Oh no there is a downed plane and downed plane can only mean one thing in the Jungle




Hippos!!!

[LauraF]

Said while approaching the drop off point at the end of the ride:

"Welcome to the dock side of the farce."

[sorcerer fan]

If you listen carefully to the headhunter standing alone as you go by, he says, I love disco.

[Von-Drake]

There is a line near the end where I guide to exit by stepping over the side of the boat and said and you step out one side and find your feet wet, get back on and exit the other side.

Simple little joke, but makes me smile every time.

[brad192]

"Ladies & gentlemen, as we approach the end of our journey you'll notice a dock on the left, and another on the right. Yes, it's a paradox!" (Groan)

[McGoofy]

At the very end of the cruise, where the Indian chief is standing with the shrunken heads:

"This is Chief Namee (not sure how to spell that). He is the head salesman in the jungle. He is a pretty good business man, but it's been shrinking. Right now he's got a special for you--two of his heads for one of yours. Anyway you slice it, you come out ahead!";)

[CU Tiger]

“Any children left behind will be forced to become boat captians!” :mickey:

[ldc12377]

"This is the part the tour where I get to point out some of my favorite jungle plants".....then they just point to the plants without saying anything about them......My kids and I love that part of the ride. We have even "stolen" the line many times and have our own private joke that very few people understand!! We are very easily entertained....LOL:D

[Belle619]

I laugh everytime weather men/women talk about the back side of the precipitation - reminds me of "get out your camera, folks, you're about to see the back side of water."

[Gooftroop5]

“Any children left behind will be forced to become boat captians!” :mickey:

We usually get "Any children left behind will be permantly placed in its A Small World":D

It wasn't part of the normal but when I got on the ride the "captain" told me I had a little pooh on my shirt. I was wearing a winnie the pooh shirt.

[AXOAlum]

My favorite and one that I use EVERY time I want to emphasize the size of something:

The Amazon butterflies can grow to amazing lengths - wingspans range from 12 inches all the way up to a whopping ONE FOOT across! :blush:

[Friend of Figment]

"The rocks beside you are sandstone. I only point it out because most people take it for granite!"

[dumbo ears]

I also like jungle cruise at night. my favorite is "the funny thing about the gorilla is that it can weigh up to 500 ounds, jump 25 feet in the air, and run up to 45 miles per hour, and its the only animal in the jungle that can do that" then they say that for the gorilla, rhino, and hippo. its hilarious

[albino_pygmy]

I also like jungle cruise at night. my favorite is "the funny thing about the gorilla is that it can weigh up to 500 ounds, jump 25 feet in the air, and run up to 45 miles per hour, and its the only animal in the jungle that can do that" then they say that for the gorilla, rhino, and hippo. its hilarious

and then continues on when you get to unload and pick one of the male unloaders and say "Hey (lucky unloader number 1,) I heard that your girlfriend can weigh up to 500 points, jump 25 feet in the air, and run up to 45 mph. Where did you find her? Does she have a sister?

My favorite line is when I'm on the rope boat (the boat assigned to be roped at unload to keep the boat steady for people who transfer from wheelchairs, VIP, and the keys tour.) After loading up, they get the 'extended version' of the Jungle Cruise, an extra 55 feet of dock! After telling them how lucky they are to get the extended version, I'd point out halfway "If you look to your right, you can see the largest cannibal holding facility in the world. Everyone wave and smile!"