Unhappy little people at the parks

[ºoºalyssaluvsmickeyºoº]

I just came back from a great trip form Feb 1-8 at WL.The only thing that made me sad and sometimes angry was the way I saw some people treating their kids.Heres an example we were standing in line at MGM waiting to get autographs from Chip&Dale.My son who is 4 was very excited.There was a little girl in front of us maybe 6.:cry:She wasnt so trilled about meeting the rodents.I watched her father bend over and tell her if she didnt go up and meet them he was gonna take her home.She started to cry and I cant blame her they are kinda big and for a 6 year old maybe scacy.Then he turned around and said look at that little boy hes not being a baby like you.:bang:I WAS SO MAD AND HAD TO BITE MY TOUGHN.I wanted to smack this guy.:bang:She was so embarrassed I wanted to cry!Now he forced her to go up there while she was crying.Whats morbit is he took a picture with a smile on his face.Thinking about this now makes me mad again.Kinda takes the magic away for a second.I will say that Chip and Dale saw the girl was upset and handled the situation very well.Thet played with her hair and tryed to get a giggle but she was so upset.I know everyone pays alot of money to go to Disney and all but Its really for your kids right.I saw more parents forcing screaming kids on rides.I would never make my kid go on a ride if they didnt want to.Their scared and thats it.I dont get it I guess I just like to give my kids choices in life.Maybe thats why they weren't scared of the characters.I know as an adult I dont like it when people try and force me to do stuff.This must be the hardest thing for cast members to see day in and day out.I dont know if I could handle it.How would you have handled the situation if you were me.Is there something you would say to these people to make them see the eras of their ways.

[Disney-lovin' Dutchman]

I agree with you 100%. Parents shouldn't force "magical" family moments, I have seen this time and time again standing in queues (sp?) with parents with screaming kids that just don't wanna ride BTMRR or Splash Mountain but their parents force them to.

I remember being little, I was also a little scared of many rides in theme parks, also here in Holland, and my parents would never force me to go on a ride I didn't want to. Sometimes my mom would go on a ride and my dad and I would go on a ride I did want to go, and then later maybe the other way around.

In the long run I think this helped me to overcome my "fears" of the rides myself and they said that when I was ready they would go with me on the ride. Thanks to them I am not afraid of any ride (except Dinosaur...:ill:)

With characters it is exactly the same. Seeing a enormously large Baloo from Jungle Book when you are 7 is tremendously scary! i still have evidence on home videos of my parents saying "Do you want to get a picture with him? You don't have to if you don't want to"

I love my parents very much, and they always did/do the right thing and because of that we have very magical memories in Disney that weren't forced or imposed

Well, this has been a long enough post :D sorry to bore all of you

[dumbo_buddy]

we saw some unruly parents as well this last trip in january. it was very upsetting. not only is it unfair to the little kid who is scared, it's also unfair to the other riders. on PoTC, this 7-ish year old was TERRIFIED, screaming and crying the WHOLE boat ride. and the father just ignored her and took a MILLION flash photos. i mean, EVERY time we turned a corner FLASH FLASH FLASH.
first i felt bad for the little girl and then second i couldn't even see the ride through the flashes.
i do admit i lost my cool and yelled out, "what part of flash photography do you not get??!??" - and he just turned around, gave me a look, and kept right on flashing. i shouldn't have yelled but man, he was so rude. and still the girl kept crying. poor thing.

not to mention seeing children getting slapped hard many times throughout the parks. boo.

[Darbylew]

We see that kind of thing every time we go to
WDW. It is a shame that parents force their
children to do things that they don't want to do.
I as well want to say something but it is hard to
find the right words that won't anger the parent.

[Sylvia]

What really upsets me is seeing parents dragging their tired, crying kids to go on one more attraction late in the evening. By this time, the kids are tired and have long stopped enjoying themselves. I want to say something to the parents, but I bite my tongue and keep on walking.

I feel sorry for the kids, because instead of having happy memories, they'll only remember being forced to keep on going, even though they're tired and unhappy.

[4277]

I really don't get why some parents force their kids on rides. These stories are so sad to read. My "kids" are now 22 & 26. I remember when my dd was 4 & ds was 8 and we all wanted to ride Haunted Mansion. Well, as we were walking up to the mansion, my dd heard all the scary sounds and started crying and didn't want to go on. No way would I have forced her to go on. My dh and I took turns riding with my ds while the other stayed with dd. DS didn't mind since he got 2 rides in a row. We went again when my DD was 6 and she rode it with no problems and really loved it.

In response to the poster that mentioned slapping kids...several years ago we were at one of the parks and this lady was practically dragging her DD (who looked to be about 6 or 7)and she was screaming at the top of her lungs and saying "Wait till I get you to the car"! Everyone just stopped and stared at her but no one did anything. You just don't know what to do in these situations. I was hoping some security person would spot them and take care of it. I felt so bad for this little girl.

[ljv1975]

This past August we took DD to Kennywood Park - an amusement park here in Pittsburgh. She loved riding all of the things that her height allowed - which included the merry-go-round 5 times!!

We decided that when she started to get cranky or tired, we would just pack up and go home. She took a nap in the afternoon and when she woke up we kept going. Well, we were still at the park when it was closing time! DD just could not get enough. I think I was more tired than she was!!

I do feel bad for other kids that seem to be having a miserable time when we are at places like that. I know Disney World is way bigger than our Kennywood, so we will just take each day as it comes. With me being pregnant and DD only 2, we won't be riding any of the "big" rides, so we should be able to do everything we want to do before any meltdowns!! :fingers:

[playdead88]

you know these situations always have the same bottom line - everyone has to take lessons and pass a test to become a legal driver in any state BUT there are no lessons or tests to pass in order to become a parent and unfortunately there are sooooo many people out there that need such a class. maybe we should start a forum for first time disney parents - maybe we could help people get a better feel for what it will be like with kids of any age at disney world - just a thought :mickey:

[RoosMomKanga]

Yeah...lots of little ones at our late dinners...sleeping, and totally melting down (put some about it in my trip report posted yesterday- "Just Us"). I felt sorry for them, they just looked miserable. One mom turned to me (Teppan Edo) and said "Well, if she
s having a hard time tonight and it's only 8pm, I think she's going to have a harder time at le Cellier tomorrow at 8:30pm!"...Like it was funny. We always planned around our kids.

And about choices...my kids still tease me as they've gotten older...my favorite saying to them is "Life is about choices, and Consequences." They need to learn to make their own...if they don't want to hug Chip, it's their choice!

[#1disneyfan]

I was never one of those parents, and it kills me to watch them in action. With that being said, if anyone had witnessed our DD in action at WDW when she was 4, they would have thought we were one of those terrible parents as well. We took her on HM, she watched the entire ride and loved it, until we re-entered daylight. She started to cry, I mean tears streaming down her face crying. To this day we have no idea what the problem was, except to say that now that she is 12, she still does not like the ride. And I swear we did not drag her onto any rides, it was bizzarre! And our first at dinner, at about 6pm, she fell fast asleep on my lap. I felt horrible, but we quickly finished our dinner and took her back to the room to bed.

And in my experience, if you do the parks at the little one's speed and do what they would like, things go SOOOOO much nicer. We had a great and incredibly memorable trip that year. She still remembers certain aspects of it and talks about it often.

[rubato]

We were there in early Feb. also. I watched a mother berate her 8 or 9 year old son so bad that I stood up to go talk to her and my husband had to hold me back. I don't know what the little boy did, but she told him that he had ruined the entire family's vacation and now, because of him, they were cancelling the second half and going home. He was screaming and bawling and his grandparents just sat there terrified of their daughter. I was crying (luckily I had my sunglasses on). My husband said that me talking to her might actually make it worse for her son. The entire family stormed off still berating the child and it took me a good 15 minutes to move on. I would hate to be raised by someone like that.

I also saw 2 seperate parents slap their children. I didn't know what to do in either of these situations. :(

I, unfortunately, am a little guilty too. Because we planned our trip so late (only 1 month ahead), I could only get ADRs at really weird times. On 2 of our nights, we had to wait until 8:30 to eat. My son was so wiped out on the second of these nights, he just wanted to skip dinner and leave. I decided we would stay. He ended up having a great time because we ate at Sci Fi and he thought it was so cool. But, for the 30 minutes leading up to dinner, he whined and complained alot! We were happy to just leave the parks early and not do everything I had planned after that! The last 3 days, we just left it up to him. Of course, those dinners were between 4:30 and 6:30, so there were no problems.

[Flower]

I hate seeing that too. We always seem to find some family having an argument at WDW, our rule "There's no getting mad or screaming at Disney World"!

We let Brandon (DS almost 4) go at his own pace, and if he has a meltdown and we can tell he is tired, we go back to the room. Ice Cream has also been known to improve the mood!

I too felt bad in January. It was the night of the marathon and I had made ADR's at Le Cellier knowing DH would be extremely hungry and want a good meal. Benjamin (DS 14 months) was SO tired he actually fell asleep with his head on the table and a french fry in his hand! Now, we were planning on just going to EPCOT for dinner and Ben was in great spirits, just tired - there was no screaming & no meltdown.

[WDW24]

I feel bad when I see screaming kids in the stroller and the parents don't even care!:mad:

[PirateLover]

What really upsets me is seeing parents dragging their tired, crying kids to go on one more attraction late in the evening. By this time, the kids are tired and have long stopped enjoying themselves..
I was going to post this same thing. I know that some parents do let their kids have naps in order to keep them out for EMH and that's fine. But I was almost disgusted with the amount of toddlers we saw falling asleep or whining and crying as the parents were continuing to drag them on rides. There was one family in particular that was coming on Buzz Lightyear behind us around 12:30am... they had a sleeping infant in a stroller that they had to wake up for the ride, and what looked to me like a 4 year old. He said something about sleep, I couldn't really hear, and they retorted with "You need to appreciate what we've done for you! Why don't we just go home if all you want to do is sleep!" :confused: It was almost 1am!!!


With that being said, if anyone had witnessed our DD in action at WDW when she was 4, they would have thought we were one of those terrible parents as well. We took her on HM, she watched the entire ride and loved it, until we re-entered daylight. She started to cry, I mean tears streaming down her face crying.

There is a difference though. When a child is scared, you don't yell and scream at them. And if you really must yell, at least take them aside. I have seen scared children in lined before, but parents have talked gently to them. We had a scared little 4 year old once in line with us on Tower of Terror. The mom was trying to convince him it would be ok but I could tell she actually hadn't ridden it before, so we started talking to the little guy and told him what was going to happen, it was all pretend, it's so much fun etc and he really calmed down. Now some parents take the attitude of "Stop being a baby, you're embarrassing me, etc" and of course that is going to make a kid cry! I think too many parents of little ones go in with the idea that they've paid all this money and they are going to do everything, with no regard to how the child is feeling, and that's sad.

[Tinkerfreak]

Those types of parents are just plain selfish. they put their ejoyment and their feelings above the feelings of their little children.
DH and I never made our DD's go on anything they did not want to. We were lucky enough that we knew we would be going back next year so we just did what they wanted and if they got tired and we missed something then so be it. DH left MNSSHP early 2 or 3 years in a row because our youngest DD was too tired to stay any longer. He took her back to the resort so she could go to sleep.
DH has wanted to do TT and MS for a few years now and although we encouraged him to go without us he never did. Now this year both DD's are old enough to do these and really want to try them and they have told Daddy that they intend to do all of the things he wants to do first. I am proud of them. They have learned to be unselfish by watching it from their Dad. Now that they are older it will be an entire new experience for us, we will get to enjoy all of these new rides together for the first time and they will have nice memories of them not terrifying memories of them.

[aurorafan]

It's really hard not saying something, and it always upsets me too to see this kind of behavior. When we went in Oct. we saw some, although not too much fortunately. But on our last day when I was at World of Disney in DTD I heard one mom tell her son (he looked to be around 8 or so) that he was behaving like all the "other obnoxious brats in here". That made me so mad! The dad had already yelled at him that "we're here for mommy and you'd better not ruin it!" What do they expect taking a kid into the biggest Disney store in the world?! If mommy wanted a nice shopping trip, why didn't she leave the kids with dad and go alone (which is what I did ;))?

What I don't get is why the parents don't understand that making the kid/s miserable in the name of "magic" or "getting your money's worth" ends up backfiring. It's not any fun for the parents either--why don't they just adjust and everyone would have a much better time!

[BelleLovesTheBeast]

It seems to me that if your kids a kicking, screaming and crying that can't be fun for you....so why do it?

I don't understand how people can say they are getting their moneys worth when they are upset because their kids are upset.

My parents never forced my sister or I to do anything. I was never afraid of rides or people in costumes.....however my sister was terrified...they never made her do anything that upset her.

[mickey&missy]

I think the problem is that the parents think they spent a lot of money for the vacation and they HAVE to do every single thing. They try to force fun and enjoyment. It's not gonna work!

I will not force my kids to do something they don't want to do. DS doesn't, I'm not sure why, want to ride anything that will make him wet. No Kali River Rapids (DD's fav) or Splash (DD is dying to try) for him! No thank you Mommy, I don't want to go on that. That's more then fine with me. One on us will take DD and the other will stay with DS and baby DS. Or if MIL and FIL happen to be with us at that time DS and baby DS can stay with MIL (she hates water too)

The thing about freaking kid is that sometimes kids get over sitmulated very quickly. Especially when their a little tired. On my kids first trip they both had 1 meltdown, both the same day, both in Epcot. DH and I still talk about what other people must have thought. DS freaked because he wanted to stay an infinite amount of time by the train display in Germany. We started to walk away, pushing him in the stoller, and he absolutely freaked. We thought he was hurt or something. We couldn't understand what he was saying he was so upset! We realized what his problem was and decided to stay there and use it as a break. We took turns going to the bathroom and then we got a snack. DS feel asleep so we found a bench and enjoyed the view and DD danced for people passing by. Later in the day DD freaked because she saw a DVD I had promised her in a kiosk type shop while we were walking by. I didn't see it. Once she calmed enough to talk we went over. I had promised her the DVD. So we went back. What I'm trying to say is that you may see a kid freaking out and think terrible things about the parents but it might not be all that bad. Everyone gets a little tired from time to time during a WDW vacation. The trick is to know your limit and your kids limit. We went back to the hotel after DD's meltdown, we were on our way out, and had a nice relaxing afternoon at AKL before a few evening hours at MK. Perfect!

I have kind of a different problem this trip. DS wants to go on Dinosaur and I'm affraid that once he's on it he's gonna freak. I haven't actually ridden it but it looks a little scary to me. If he want's to ride I'll be the one going with him, DH gets motion sick very easily. I don't want to say "no, no way we're going on it. You'll be scared." He's tough, but I'm still a little worried. I know he'll be upset at me if I say no and he is a big boy of 5. I'm not sure what to do!

[MK_Mtns]

my parents talked me into going on rides, but i would never scream and cry...so i wouldn't consider that forcing.

[aurorafan]

What I'm trying to say is that you may see a kid freaking out and think terrible things about the parents but it might not be all that bad. Everyone gets a little tired from time to time during a WDW vacation. The trick is to know your limit and your kids limit.

Those kinds of situations don't bother me. If I see a parent dealing with a something like you described I have great sympathy for them. I've been there and done that and I know they're doing the best they can. What I DON'T have sympathy for is when a child is obviously being dragged beyond his limit by a parent yelling at him, calling him names, telling him he's ruined their vacation etc., or being forced to do something he doesn't want to do (ride, characters etc.). I wouldn't like it if my DH told me I'd ruined the vacation for everyone because I didn't want to go on something, why would I do that to someone else (even if they are a child)?

You can tell by how the parent reacts--if they're speaking to the child calmly, trying to settle them down etc. then you know that something unexpected happened and they're doing their best to make the child feel better. If the child is being dragged onto the ride screaming and crying or forced to hug a character it's a different story.

[kakn7294]

Since I've had children of my own and I know I'm far from a perfect parent, I try to not judge other's parenting. Sometimes we only see part of a situation and don't know what else may have gone on before that. I agree that we shouldn't spank our children, but I'm guilty of that too - sometimes they just keep pushing and pushing the limits until I can't take any more but then I hate myself when I stoop to that level. I have talked my crying child into going on a ride because I thought she would enjoy it once she rode - but both girls know that they always have the option to say no the next time around if they really didn't like it. I have yelled at them in public - sometimes I can't take their behavior anymore when they continue to misbehave after they have been quietly warned. Unless I would see a child actually being seriously physically harmed, I prefer to mind my own business.

[ºoºalyssaluvsmickeyºoº]

The thing I was trying to get at when I posted this is when is your duty as a person to step in and say something.Now Ive read about slapping kids but havent experienced it.This might push me beyond my limits for the fact that young kids cant fight back.Its like kicking a dog.So when is it acceptable not to ignore it?

[jclightchasr]

When we had our first child we decided to not put them on a nightime schedule so they kept us awake all night when the constantly woke up. We were afraid to upset them and wouldn't do anything to do that.

As he got older we didn't want to upset him so he could eat whatever he wanted. He didn't want to take the vitamins we got for him so we didn't make him.

Then when we went shopping we got him what he asked for for fear of upsetting him.

When he was sick and need some nasty tasting medicine we offered and he refused so we didn't press the issue for fear of upsetting him further.

When my child grows up and needs rules enforced I will try to be their friend first over being a parent for fear of upsetting them.

When we go on vacation and see something that we know our child would really love if only they would just try it but we won't make them try it out of fear that we would upset them!

Sometimes a little gentle prodding can produce a love of something they never knew. I urge those who don't know the full situation not to judge just enjoy your vacation. That said, if you see obvious abuse verbal or otherwise then intervene don't just type about it.

[thrillme]

my parents talked me into going on rides, but i would never scream and cry...so i wouldn't consider that forcing.

I don't consider that forcing either. Sometimes as a parent you have to encourage your kids to branch out a little bit. But there's a big difference if they go into total freakout mode.

Personally I prefer taking them to smaller cheaper parks that are local for me so I can see how they react to things. If they don't care for rides, if they are apprehensive around characters and such I'd probably delay taking them to Disney till they're more ready to handle it but it needn't be a big "bashing" discussion. Because it DOES cost a lot of money so whatever we do I'd want them to enjoy it.

I know my DS had a bit of a "freakout" moment during the Honey I Shrunk the Kids. It was near the end and we were locked in and we couldn't escape right then...besides the "scarey" part ended and he was fine. When the show was over I did put a little pressure on him to go back and see it again because I wanted him to "understand" the technology. I also promised if he DID do this if he was still scared we'd sit on the end and leave immediately. He was "mad" but not to the point of a "fit". He threatened to tell Grandma and teared up a "little" bit. When we sat down and everything started I took off his glasses to show how they worked. He was impressed at how blurry everything was and the " magic" behind the glasses. He was totally in AWE about it. When we got to the scarey part again...he lifted his glasses to check and started laughing. Of course he DENIED ever being afraid. I guess the BIG thing was that he "trusted" me even if he was a little mad. If he threw a really big fit I probably would have not done it. But I could NEVER "belittle" him. After that he TOTALLY loves ALL 3-D movies.

I have also seen some kids having a little pressure to get on a ride from their parents and perhaps a few tears. But I've seen the bad ones who are really pushing and the good ones who are very positive and encouraging. I remember on little boy got in the car with us and his parents on dinosaur. At first he cried a bit but by the time the ride was over he was SOOOOOO excited he got out and jumped up and down "Come on Dad let's do it again!!! But then the boys parents were really "IN" to him and very "positive" in the push. Never insulted him in the least.

[MNNHFLTX]

It's hard to watch, but unfortunately, unless someone is physically abusing their child, there isn't anything that can be said. I do have to admit that on one occasion I did speak up to a cast member--I just couldn't help it. It was on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad and a 6 (or so) year-old girl was crying through the entire queue, saying she didn't want to go on the ride with her brother and parents. This escalated up to where we got on the train, but since her party and ours were located towards the back of the train, no cast member seemed to notice. The parents were literally dragging her onto the train, saying "Shut up! If you don't go on this then one of us won't be able to go." So I turned around and tried to explain that they could do a child swap, but the mother just ignored me. By this time, the girl was crying hysterically and pushing at the lap bar to keep them from lowering it, so I got the cast member's attention and motioned behind us, saying "She doesn't want to go on the ride." The cast member spoke with the parents for a few seconds and one of them ended up getting off the train with the girl, thank goodness. Hopefully they understand the child swap then, but I couldn't believe that they would go to such lengths. :shake:

[WeLuvBuzz]

Everyone, please bear in mind that things are not always as they appear. One trip when our younger ds was 3 or 4 he had an absolute crying melt down in Magic Kingdom. I am sure I got all kinds of awful stares. I later found out he really wanted to ride Astro Orbitor and wehn he could not see it anymore he got upset. I don't even think he was tall enough anyway. On another trip we literally drug him on RNRC and TOT when he was 7 or 8. We were extremely perplexed why he acted that way as this child was a daredevil on other coasters and the ski slopes. I know we got ugly looks from parents. On the way home that trip he told he just acted that way to make the rides more scary and fun. That being said, I do not condone berating kids or accusing them of ruining vacations, but how many parents can say they never said anything to their child they later regretted?

[merlinmagic4]

I try really hard not to judge a situation but I do admit that there are some parents who aren't acting appropriately. It's just that when I come upon a parent and child I have no idea what has happened before or how that parent/child act the other 364 days of the year. You never know if someone is just having a bad moment or perhaps the situation is not what it seems. Now I know this is not always the case but sometimes it is. You just can't always judge a book by it's cover or a parent/child on the one instant you see them in WDW.

If I did see a child who was crying about going on a ride I would offer the information on the child swap because the parents may have no idea. I would pass on the information in a very kind, non-condescending tone. I think taking an understanding approach can work wonders to diffuse a situation. Even if I hadn't ever "been there" (because I am the perfect parent, you know ;) )I might say I had just to lighten the situation.

[WDWFREAK101]

I was in the Ice Cream Parlor on Main Street one night after the park closed and watching the castle in its glory and amazement. The park was desolate and very quite and peaceful. I was at peace untill a snot nosed brat and his poor father sat at a table where i was at. I felt bad for the dad because he kept looking at me with a "Help me" look on his face. The kid was very spoiled and he was a brat. He kept screaming "I DON'T WANT THAT FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The dad had to have been divorced because he could not keep the situation clam and the kid kept asking for his mom. The kid said something that made me want to kill him. He said "I HATE YOU!!" To his father and his father almost broke down crying. I wanted to step in and help but security over heard and stepped in. His son pushed the ice cream cone in his face and started to run down Main Street. That was all i saw because i couldn't bear the site of a troubled father looking for a sign of hope crying in one of the happiest place on earth. :( I sat next to him and asked him if he was alright and if he needed anything. I told him that i will be praying for him and i hope he will be alright. I hugged the man and left. That had to be the saddest trip i have ever had because of that one sitiuation. That was the first day of my 4 day trip with my friends and i kept thinking about that poor man the whole time. I still think about him.

[Dakota Rose]

My parents were awfully mean to me. I have a picture of me crying hysterically at DLR :fit: .... in the parking lot as we left on our last day!

Sorry, I just had to lighten the mood.


It's hard to see parents forcing their kids to do anything. But, on the other hand, like so many have said, as an observer we don't really know what's going on. Some kids have absolute meltdowns over every thing. I had a friend when I was a kid who was like this. Even at 12 yo she wouldn't jump into a shallow pool and instead would cry hysterically like someone was beating her. Most parents mean well when they "force" a kid into something and we have to assume most parents know their children better than we strangers do.

We did talk DS into Pirates when we went last, but he wasn't crying or scared. We held him close and he made it through okay. At the end he said, "Not so bad."

I also agree with the last post. I'm my child's parent and protector first and giving him something he needs is better than not upsetting him; being his friend is secondary.

[Sean Riley Taylor's Mom]

I understand getting upset when you see a parent yelling at a child, forcing them on a ride, etc, it upsets me too.

Just wanted to note, some situations are not what they appear to be.;) (I am not saying I disagree with anyone here, I just wanted to post what happened to us)

When we were at MNSSHP on 9/14 there was a monsoon. Most people know that from posts on here..lol. Anyway, a lot of floors in restaurants and bathroom were wet and slippery.

When we were at the dance party in Cosmic Ray's, Donald Duck started a conga line through the restaurant with the kids. My three kids were all doing it. It was crowded in there and the floors were quite slippery so, not a good mix for my son. As they were going down one of the ramps towards the stage Riley fell and hurt his arm pretty badly. He was crying and I was trying to ask him how bad it hurt, etc, but it was too loud in there.

So, I told him to come outside with me so I could look at his arm. He was holding onto his arm and I had my hand under his elbow to keep it from getting bumped.

DH stayed inside to get the other two kids while DS and I went outside.

As we were walking out the door, the woman holding it for us started to very loudly voice her opinion about how "That poor boy looks exhausted and why did parents wait until there kids were in hysterics before they finally left the parks??!" :mad::(

Normally I would have had a conversation with the woman and explained what was going on but, I was more concerned with my son and making sure he was okay. I just shot her a dirty look and walked to a table with Riley.

So, some things are not what they seem at all times. I admit that I tend to jump to conclusions with situations. After that night, I try to give the benefit of the doubt...on occasion of course.;)

[Janmac]

I must really block out those "other" parents at WDW since I don't recall seeing that sort of thing except in our own family group. I wouldn't like to see it and I don't know that we can legally do or say anything in intervention.

Over the course of several trips we have had some incidents in our family. The year our granddaughter was 9 she finally started trying the scarier rides - one a day, her own decision. The worst was It's Tough to be a Bug, which left her shaking and in tears. We probably got some looks over that. She's in high school now and I doubt she'd go in that attraction yet.

Our last trip with our "spirited" 2 yo grandniece probably put us in the category of other folks' bad families. She had been talking of Dumbo and how she was going to ride it for weeks and weeks. She got scared somehow, someway right after she and her mom went through the gate and started around to find a Dumbo to ride. My niece could barely get her unclutched enough to get them fastened in. As we have mentioned on here, it's sometimes next to impossible to discover what the difficulty is.

Our really big contribution to the bad family lore of WDW came on a Friendship at Epcot. That was when our grandniece had to stay in the stroller all the way to Morocco where we were going for supper, and she was quite vocal about how she hated that stroller. "I want out" over and over.

We had been battling our grandniece for days about riding in her stroller. For some reason, as soon as we got to Disney the stroller was horrible and she wanted to be carried everywhere. I don't know if there was a better view, when being carried, but even a 2 year old can't be carried all the time.

On the boat my niece kept telling her daughter, calmly, I know you want out, we'll get you out at the restaurant. We were a large family group seated all over the Friendship and I did not hear anyone think that our niece should have gotten her daughter out of the stroller - probably because they could tell what the situation was. But my poor niece still felt like the worst mother in the world the whole evening after that ride on the Friendship.

And after that our grandniece rode in the stroller just fine. Now she asks to have it opened up to sit in it to watch a movie.

Disney could do a service by having an attraction along the lines of It's Tough to be a Parent, maybe with some parenting ideas presented in a funny way.

Jan

[thrillme]

I recall years ago at a local YMCA a little boy was TERRIFIED of water. His parents only wanted the best for him. They respected his fear but felt it was more "dangerous" for him not to learn basic water survival. Needless to say they took him to YMCA. The boy screamed, kicked, cried and fought. Most of the life guards couldn't do anything with him. Finally a "seasoned" older very muscular lifeguard came and grabbed the boy, slapped a swim belt on him and took him in. He couldn't break free from this gaurds grasp. He'd repeat this several times eventually by then end of the first week the boy stopped crying and just waited. By the end of the two weeks he was jumping in on his own laughing.

Sometimes you just have to do what you think is the best. But I do agree with a number of posters. Not everything is as it seems.

[crazeedizneefinatic]

I have yelled at them in public - sometimes I can't take their behavior anymore when they continue to misbehave after they have been quietly warned. Unless I would see a child actually being seriously physically harmed, I prefer to mind my own business.

You have hit the nail on the head. Unless a child is in physical danger and I was totally sure of that, I would never say anything either. Walking around Disney and hearing snippets of parents yelling is not a fair assesment. Maybe that child needs to be disciplined. I have seen many a time kids acting unruly, including my own. No hitting, never believed in hitting. But sometimes saying something over and over and over again wears on you. Sometimes parents need to yell and at all times parents need to discipline. Unless, you actually see the entire incident of a parent forcing a child or hitting a child or threatening a child can you safely say, "oh that poor child" and alert a CM to the situation.

[Dakota Rose]

Sean Riley Tyler's Mom made me think of something that happened to us on our last trip.

We were on the bus on our way to MK one morning when DS wanted to run up and down the half-full bus. He was 18 mos. We weren't about to let him do that so then he had a total meltdown and I had to hold him pretty tightly while he fussed. DH was holding the stroller and trying to calm him. A lot of folks were giving us dirty looks, shifting their weight, huffing that kind of thing. The man sitting next to me who was in his 60s or so, gently tapped me on the shoulder and said, "It's okay mom. You're doing the right thing." I almost cried. Then he pointed to his son who was probably in his 40s sitting across the row from us and said, "He used to do that to us all the time." We all started laughing and I was grateful for his understanding.

[crazypoohbear]

When we had our first child we decided to not put them on a nightime schedule so they kept us awake all night when the constantly woke up. We were afraid to upset them and wouldn't do anything to do that.

As he got older we didn't want to upset him so he could eat whatever he wanted. He didn't want to take the vitamins we got for him so we didn't make him.

Then when we went shopping we got him what he asked for for fear of upsetting him.

When he was sick and need some nasty tasting medicine we offered and he refused so we didn't press the issue for fear of upsetting him further.
When my child grows up and needs rules enforced I will try to be their friend first over being a parent for fear of upsetting them.
When we go on vacation and see something that we know our child would really love if only they would just try it but we won't make them try it out of fear that we would upset them!

Sometimes a little gentle prodding can produce a love of something they never knew. I urge those who don't know the full situation not to judge just enjoy your vacation. That said, if you see obvious abuse verbal or otherwise then intervene don't just type about it.

Huh??? I must misunderstood this. If your child doesn' t want "icky" medicine you don't give it to them??? Depending on what the medicine is for, not giving it to them could cause them to serious harm.
You buy your child what ever he wants to not upset him??

You would rather be you child's friend then parent???

Did I miss something?



As for kids "acting up" When my DS was 3 we were at the opening day of the animal kingdom, no sooner had we walked into the park when he went crazy, screaming, crying, bucking etc. He was in full blown meltdown. I told my sis, and husband to take my other DS 8 and go. I said "if he wants to sit here and cry,then that's what we will do. So for 2 and 1/2 hours I sat on a bench in the shade and he cried, and cried and cried, no talking, coaxing or soothing would do any good. He FINALLY cried himself to sleep. I went into the store in front of us and bought a $20.00 towel. it was rolled up and perfect for a pillow. I put it in the stroller, laid him down and he slept for 4 hours. While I was sitting on the bench several CM's came over and asked if I needed anything, I said no he was having a temper and wanted to cry so I was letting him.
Later that day, after he woke up and started crying again, I took him to the walk in clinic, the doctor said he had the worst sinus infection he had ever seen!!! I felt like the worst parent in the world! BUT. my son had NO symptoms, no fever, no pain, no running nose He was just cranky, mean and mad. Turns out over the years I have discovered that whenever he goes crazy, he is sick! He still gets no symptoms he is just pure misery to be near, so I take him to the doctors, every time he is sick with sinus or pneumonia! Yes, he gets pneumonia without symptoms.
So when you see a child having a melt down it might be that like adults they sometimes just need a moment

[ºoºalyssaluvsmickeyºoº]

I think we've gotten off track a child having a melt down is one thing all kids do it. Forcing them to do something like meet chip and dale or dragging them on space mountain is totally different.

[peter's #1 fan]

I try never to judge anyone because I'm a parent of an autistic child. We can have a meltdown at any time. This has happened at least once during each of trips. The best for my son is if no one pays any attention to him and he calms himself down. I always stay at least 12 days so that we will not miss anything if we aren't able to stay long in any park.

[PirateLover]

I think we've gotten off track a child having a melt down is one thing all kids do it. Forcing them to do something like meet chip and dale or dragging them on space mountain is totally different.

I was just about to make the same comment. Obviously kids have meltdowns. If I see a kid crying because he can't have another Mickey Bar, or someone that is cranky on the bus after a long day, that is completely different than a parent who is belittling their child and making them feel guilty about meeting characters or not being ready to go on a ride.

[Dakota Rose]

I was just about to make the same comment. Obviously kids have meltdowns. If I see a kid crying because he can't have another Mickey Bar, or someone that is cranky on the bus after a long day, that is completely different than a parent who is belittling their child and making them feel guilty about meeting characters or not being ready to go on a ride.

I don't think we've gotten off topic at all. I think the point that some are trying to make is that the kid could be having a meltdown for any reason and it could appear as though the parent is forcing the child to do something he doesn't want to. And while we may not agree with the ways the parent is handling the situation, the parent might also be at his/her wits end therefore making a bad decision or could be doing just what the kid needs. I'm sure there were folks on the bus with us that morning that thought I was being a mean mom for restraining my son. I'm sure it looked like he was melting down because I was restraining him. Only the people right next to us knew the real deal.

I think the point some of us were trying to make is a situation can appear one way but really be quite the other. And like someone else said, who here can say they've never made a mistake in their parenting?

[WDWFREAK101]

Huh??? I must misunderstood this. If your child doesn' t want "icky" medicine you don't give it to them??? Depending on what the medicine is for, not giving it to them could cause them to serious harm.
You buy your child what ever he wants to not upset him??

You would rather be you child's friend then parent???

Did I miss something?

I totally agree. That is the worst parenting you can ever do. If your child is sick and he doesn't want medicine then you don't give it to him? That makes no sense. That is extremely unhealthy for the child and the relationship between parent and kid. If you give him everything he wants then he will grow up to be a stubborn, spoiled adult.

[FlaTinkRAMESAM]

I feel bad when I see screaming kids in the stroller and the parents don't even care!:mad:

while I agree with the statements about the parents that yell and scream at their children over and over (i'll be the first to admit that I have raised my voice with my DD, but I feel it was justly warranted), slapping and spanking in obnoxious fashions, and keeping kids out way later than they can handle, I don't really agree with this statement...

My daughter has a temper and I will stick her in her stroller and either walk around or sit and let her scream and she tells me "I'm done" when she has finished (it works wonders!). I ignore her. Does it mean I don't care? Goodness no, but there is no amount of my consoling her or coaxing her that will calm her down when she gets mad. So why waste my energy? But honestly, if she's mad, she's mad. She's 3. But to say I don't care... I don't think that is fair at all. I am sure I am not the only parent that deals with this and has this reaction from their children at times. I'm a single mom and I do the best that I can. I can't tell when she is going to get mad about something and I do my best to accommodate her within reason. She loves Disney and will wait in lines like you wouldn't believe and does it with a wonderful smile on her face. But it is up to her. She is usually mad about me not giving her juice instead of water or wanting something in a gift shop that I won't get for her, or wanting candy....

I just resent someone saying I don't care. Unless you know that person, it isn't fair to make assumptions.

[FlaTinkRAMESAM]

I totally agree. That is the worst parenting you can ever do. If your child is sick and he doesn't want medicine then you don't give it to him? That makes no sense. That is extremely unhealthy for the child and the relationship between parent and kid. If you give him everything he wants then he will grow up to be a stubborn, spoiled adult.

I could be wrong, but if you read through his original post completely his point was that if we don't urge our children to do something, just for fear of causing a scene or upsetting them, then they may never do things they like/need to/etc.

[ryca1dreams]

You have hit the nail on the head. Unless a child is in physical danger and I was totally sure of that, I would never say anything either. Walking around Disney and hearing snippets of parents yelling is not a fair assesment. Maybe that child needs to be disciplined. I have seen many a time kids acting unruly, including my own. No hitting, never believed in hitting. But sometimes saying something over and over and over again wears on you. Sometimes parents need to yell and at all times parents need to discipline. Unless, you actually see the entire incident of a parent forcing a child or hitting a child or threatening a child can you safely say, "oh that poor child" and alert a CM to the situation.

Yep. I agree here too. WDW is really a microcosm of the "real world", but in hyper drive. So, you're going to see these kind of incidents more often. Yes, if I saw violence (same as in the real world) I would have to do something.

[PirateLover]

I don't think we've gotten off topic at all. I think the point that some are trying to make is that the kid could be having a meltdown for any reason and it could appear as though the parent is forcing the child to do something he doesn't want to.
I understand the point, but I think it's veered off into parents defending times when their child has had a melt down, which is a bit of a different topic than was first addressed in my opinion (and the opinion of the OP who I was agreeing with in my post that you quoted).
They gave a clear example in my opinion of a parent over reacting to a child who was afraid. Now I'm not saying children shouldn't be made to face their fears, but do they really have to do it in Disney World? I once was in line for the Haunted Mansion with a child who was screaming and crying in line the entire time, while the parents let her "cry it out." She never stopped, and conveniently was in the Doom Buggy behind us. She did not stop screaming the entire ride, we could hear her louder than the ghost host. Sometimes you have to think about those surrounding you. My main point in my previous posts was that when a child starts having a tantrum or is freaking out, it's more considerate to take them out of the line and to a bench like a previous poster mentioned or somewhere a bit off the beaten path so they have some privacy.

As far as your bus incident, and most of the other incidents described in these posts, I doubt that most of the people giving you looks thought you were a bad parent. They probably just wanted your kid to be quiet, just like you did! Let's be honest, it's hard not to be annoyed by a screaming child, even if you have the utmost empathy for the parent in question. I certainly don't think you are a bad parent for doing what you did. As a rule I try not to judge parents when I just happen upon a situation. But when I've been in line with the people for the entire incident and see the whole thing unfold, it just becomes obvious that sometimes it isn't just the child having a meltdown, it's parents taking things too far and potentially making what should be a magical experience a traumatizing one, and making numerous other guests uncomfortable in the process.

[dumbo_buddy]

ditto to piratelover.

child meltdowns are one thing and normal to have to deal with.

it's the forcing of kids who absolutely do not want to go on a ride that is the topic.

i think every situation is different with these things. the only thing i don't like is when the child disturbs other guests. if the kid is going to scream throughout the whole ride after others have waited 45 min in line to enjoy it, i don't think it's fair.

[#1donaldfan]

We've all seen those parents that are so rude and inconsiderate of the kids feelings, like they're not supposed to have feelings yet. We have three kids and they've been going to Disney since at least 5 years old. It's hard to find something to do for all age groups to enjoy at the same time. We have done pretty well, I think. We've had some crying, some tempers, some attitudes, but for the most part we have some pretty good memories. I think I can understand where these parents are coming from, but in NO WAY agree with their actions!!!! They spend a lot of money and build up this grand, picture perfect time, but if they would just step back at the beginning and get a mind set that there are going to be some tears, maybe some tempers, or even an attitude or two.....if they know that it's possible for these to come, maybe they can plan out a "plan B" instead of just going off and making the kids feel horrible.....?????

[adoptionislove]

I have always said that the best place to see parents and children misbehaving is WDW!

You see parents that are trying so hard to have a "magical" vacation and it just isin't happening!

Yelling, screaming and hitting is no way to treat a hot and cranky child!!!

I have no solution to this, BUT man it is really sad to see these parents haul off and verbally abuse them as well!

[BrerSchultzy]

Kids are going to cry. True.
Parents are going to be frustrated. True
Kids will love something one day, then throw a tantrum about it the next. True.

What the OP is talking about is the "I've spent all this money, so you're going to do EXACTLY what I think you should think is fun" mentality. NONE of the posters have said "my kid was a baby because..." like the father in the original story. Let's face it, everybody here knows that WDW means different things to different people....my parents never got upset that I wanted to ride Horizons 30 times in one day, and didn't want to do anything else. And now that I'm "grown up" and my parents can do WDW the way they want to, it's all the more special for us. Now I'm headed to WDW with a 6 month old, and I know that I won't ever do WDW the same way again. And I can't wait.

As for the original question, "When is it okay to step in"...I don't think it is. Unless you plan on being empathetic. Maybe the parent does have a temper, AND is having a really bad day, so a simple "Bad day, huh?" could start a conversation that would let the dad get some things off his chest, without taking it out on the child. But stepping in and questioning their parenting skills is a sure-fire way to start a fight.

[Jasper]

Of course, there are also those situations in which the parents don't do anything mean to the child but the child screams bloody murder anyway! When our daughter (who is now in her 20's) was about 4 or 5 years old she talked non-stop for weeks before our WDW about getting to meet Tigger. So, needless to say, we were thrilled when we spotted a line to see Tigger.

We probably had about a 15-20 minute wait and during that entire time our daughter was quiet but otherwise seemed just fine with seeing Tigger. Then, just as it was our turn my daughter started crying and screaming like someone had just shot her!!! We and a Disney cast member who was managing the line tried to calm her but with no luck.

I know that as we left the line some of the people in the back gave us some looks that made it clear that they thought it was terrible that we would do that to our child. My point is that we all need to be careful to make sure we know all the details before we make judgements.

[Carol]

MODERATOR ALERT

This thread has indeed gone off topic. The discussion is about children being forced to do something at Disney World and stepping in -- NOT how individual on the boards decide to raise their children.

Lets stay on topic folks.


A lot of assumptions are being made. No one has any idea what happened leading up to any crying fit witnessed. Personally I don't feel it's my business -- and I do not make judgments.

If I felt someone was in danger - I'd get Security or a Cast Member. That is their job - not mine.

[FTDW Poly 08]

[QUOTE=playdead88;1549481]you know these situations always have the same bottom line - everyone has to take lessons and pass a test to become a legal driver in any state BUT there are no lessons or tests to pass in order to become a parent QUOTE]

You're quoting Parenthood (Steve Martin, etc.)!!!
Yes, parent stink nowadays. I'm a teacher and I'm just appalled at how bad they are. Of course from my end, I would argue that they tend to be too enabling!