Should DD give this back?

[alphamommy]

Another girl in DD's class goes to the same bus stop. I walk DD there each morning.

Last Friday, I noticed that the other little girl was wearing a pair of DD's gloves, and commented on it. DD said that her friend lost hers, so DD gave the friend her extra ones. The bus came about then, so I didn't say anything.

That afternoon, DD came home with a very nice teddy bear (large "Ty" brand) that the friend gave her in return for the gloves. DD didn't ask for anything; the friend just wanted to give it to her.

We don't know the child's parents, and don't have their phone number (it's unlisted, and they don't allow it to be printed in the school directory).

I think it's sweet that DD wanted to take care of her friend, but I don't feel comfortable with DD keeping the bear.

Any opinions?

[Ian]

I think it was a very nice gesture on behalf of the other child (or perhaps her parents) to give your DD the bear.

I'd let her keep it.

[PirateLover]

I think I'd let her keep it. Of course she shouldn't expect anything for simply being nice but if they want to thank her, she should be gracious and accept the gift. Trying to give it back might just cause some unneeded issue. You could also ask DD's teacher about contacting the parents to send a thank you note or give a thank you phone call.

[Marker]

Just my thought, I'd say let the kids handle it.

Sounds to me like a natural demonstration of kindness and generosity. Children can do remarkable things, until adults get in their way. So my thought, unless there's reason to suspect otherwise, accept it for what it is, a display of human kindness.

[Jimenyfan]

I agree that the gesture was very sweet but I have found a few times with my boys that they will come home with something that a friend gave them only to find out the parents didn't know they gave the toy/stuffed animal away and then it usually needs to go back.

[kakn7294]

Maybe you could send a note for the other girl to give to her parents explaining the situation and ask them how they feel about it. I've had this same problem with my DD wanting to give her stuff away to her friends and receiving "gifts" of their stuff. I used to fuss about it but I've given up and let her trade within reason - it has to be okay with her friend's parents, no expensive items, and she can't give away her sister and/or pets. If the other parents say they can't trade, then the stuff goes back, otherwise I let her keep it.

[SBETigg]

Is it possible to call the school and talk to the teacher about it? I, too, would wonder that her parents aren't aware of the situation and I would want them to know in case they wouldn't want their daughter to give away the teddy bear and in case they had no idea about the glove situation. They might just assume the school kept extras for kids who lose them (our school did that) and not know what happened to the bear.

It's a nice gesture, from your daughter and the other girl. Kids can be so sweet! But you could just ask the teacher what she thinks and if the parents should be contacted. She might prove helpful. But only if you're comfortable enough with the teacher to bring it up.

[Marilyn Michetti]

Let me ask? If your daughter had been given gloves by the other girl, and your DD had wanted to give her something in return, wouldn't you support her?

Kids love to give - let them nurture it. That trait seems go diminish as we get older, sometimes.

I wouldn't do anything, unless the other girl's parents call, and want the bear back.

Your DD sounds like a 'keeper".:)

[Tinkermom]

Just my thought, I'd say let the kids handle it.

Sounds to me like a natural demonstration of kindness and generosity. Children can do remarkable things, until adults get in their way. So my thought, unless there's reason to suspect otherwise, accept it for what it is, a display of human kindness.


I agree!:thumbsup:

[MMouse6937]

I would also error on not worrying about it. I gave away things all the time when I was little because I wanted to share. If it was something heirloom or valuable I'm sure her parents would find out and ask you for it back. But if the little girl really wanted to "trade" her the gloves for the bear, it doesn't really matter. Obviously if your daughter came home with a necklace or something that looked of value that her parents might wonder where the heck it went, then it would be of concern, but with this I would just let girls be girls. Her parents probably don't even remember she has the bear with the tons of other things she has! :)