Am I making too much out of this?

[ShelbyAD]

Ok, today was our Christmas "thingy". We watched a movie (Deck the Halls) and did a Dirty Santa gift exchange.

There are 8 of us here, well one person is on vacation, but came in earlier in the week to drop off his gift for the exchange.

So, there are 7 of us who can pick. No one picked mine. It was left for the person who is on vacation.

All the gifts were wrapped, so no one knows what's inside. You can either pick a gift from the "pile" or take one from another person. The only one left on the desk was the one I brought in. So everyone basis what they pick on the size & weight or if they like the gift bag it came in.

Normally I would not get upset - but this happens every year. This is the first time where there were more gifts than people. In the past, someone would have to take mine. Every year they have a "oh God, I have to have what she brought" look on their faces.

Folks, I don't buy bad, ugly, horrible gifts. I may not have fancy things or the most up to date clothes, or live in a fancy house, but I do know how to buy gifts. For some reason, the people in my office think I get the office gift at a Yard sale or Goodwill. I don't!!!

This year I got a Folger's coffee set. It has coffee, 2 mugs, spoons, a creamer, sugar container and cookies in it. All but 2 people in this office drink coffee - so I thought it was a good idea. But they didn't even know what was in it - it was still wrapped.

This has been going on for the past 6 years. Come on people, I'm not a horrible shopper (when I shop for other people). I'm a great shopper.

My step-daughters do not like the clothes I wear - but they both agree that I pick out great clothes for other people. They also agree that I do buy nice gifts for people. Believe me, they would tell me if I didn't (and they have).

Sorry for the long rant.

[RedheadWriter]

This is why I hate the forced socialization of workplaces during this time of year. Since I have been working my less mainstream freelance jobs, this aspect of workplace life is not missed at all!

I am thinking that you might not be close to the people in your office. If this is the case, I am not sure I would even worry about it. To me, if this behaviour was done to me by people I loved and cared about, it would be more of an issue. Hey just think how happy you will make the person on vacation. I think your gift is great!

[IloveDisney71]

I understand your hurt feelings. I hate "work related" (forced fun). Forced fun usually has the opposite of the desired outcome, because nobody wants to participate so they don't want to be there.
I usually skip my work Christmas party. Don't get me wrong, I love most of the people I work with but in my position we are spread way out and don't interact with a lot of different people on a regular basis. I do things with my close co-workers but don't get into the big work party. It's just weird. Anyway, if you don't have to participate in this yearly event, I'd skip it next year and just exchange gifts with people you care about and who will APPRECIATE your thoughtfullness.
I hope the rest of your holiday season is merry!

[LibertyTreeGal]

You know, next year it might be a great idea to take a vacation day ;) or "forget" to buy something and say, "Oops, guess I'll just be watching this year." :D

I hate Christmas parties. I never go, not to mine or my husband's (who hates them too). I will go to a small gathering of buddies outside the workplace, but it depends on the buddies.

[BronxTigger]

Something similar happened to me today at work. This lady is coming around and told me I HAVE to donate money for the custodian's gift. I can give $10, $20, $50, or $100 or whatever I want! Problem is, she wants us all to write our name and what we gave on the outside of the envelope....she started it off by giving $30! And frankly, the custodian is great and I appreciate what he does, but all they do at my school in our classroom is sweep the floor and vacuum the rug. And when they sweep, they move all the furniture around so every morning I have to adjust the tables and picked up all the knocked down chairs!

Then...the teacher had the nerve to ask me why I was looking at her funny!

[Dsnygirl]

:( I am so sorry this is so frustrating for you, and I can totally understand why!! Trying to figure out how other people view gifts, etc., is near to impossible, though, so don't let it get to you - obviously, the people who love you and know you best love how you shop, so that's truly all that matters!!

We've had similar stuff happen at my work - I'm an RN, and we do Secret Santa gifts on one of my floors. I've always participated b/c I get a big kick out of buying a few cute things for someone, and then a bigger gift at the end of the month. But I have to tell you, it is tough to watch certain people put names back that they "would prefer not to buy for" and try to only the get the name of a close friend... that's certainly not the spirit of what we're trying to do!

Here's the best story I've heard yet, though... and it comes out of my DH's workplace... his boss/the owner of the company is always competitive about what everyone gets each other at their Christmas party. (Small company, everyone knows each other well, etc.) Of course, being the owner, a collection has always been taken up for him, and someone is delegated to go find something - and the woman who usually does it has always done great. I think some people don't contribute, out of financial need, or they get him something personal themselves. Well, this year, he has made the giving "mandatory" and a specific dollar amount from everyone -- and he's already chosen his gift and made it known what he expects it to be!! Needless to say, although this man is a friend of my DH's, he was less than thrilled to fork over the money this year... and he usually doesn't mind at all. (Although I guess we should have expected it... the birthday party at a local restaurant/bar for this guy's 40th birthday was mandatory as well... he wasn't real happy that I had a big surprise party for my DH's 40th and everyone from work showed up, gifts in hand... so, he had to try to top it... can you imagine???) :confused:

[Disneyatic]

Something similar happened to me today at work. This lady is coming around and told me I HAVE to donate money for the custodian's gift. I can give $10, $20, $50, or $100 or whatever I want! Problem is, she wants us all to write our name and what we gave on the outside of the envelope....she started it off by giving $30! And frankly, the custodian is great and I appreciate what he does, but all they do at my school in our classroom is sweep the floor and vacuum the rug. And when they sweep, they move all the furniture around so every morning I have to adjust the tables and picked up all the knocked down chairs!

Then...the teacher had the nerve to ask me why I was looking at her funny!

Holy moly what kind of gift is the custodian getting if everyone is donating at least $10??
I think it is AWFUL that they want you to write your name and how much you gave. It's the thought that counts, right???

[jillluvsdisney]

In a way, hearing these horror stories makes me feel better. I thought I worked in the only place where people acted like that. "Mandatory" gifts?
Now there's an oxymoron. A few years ago I came to the realization ,that no one tells us that even as adults, we never really leave our 7th grade mentality behind. Putting a name back in the hat, how petty is that? Nice holiday spirit.:mad::mad:

[RedheadWriter]

As I said before, reading about all of these forced socializations in the workplace makes me ill. It doesn't foster anything but resentment. This is the seson to give from the heart, not give out of guilt.
When I worked at a big insurance company a few years ago they did something truly unbelievable. We had a FUNDS FOR FUN committee and everyone had to contribute $2.00 a week to the fund. We had about 124 people in the department (yes, this was $12000+ proposition!!!) This money paid for our summer outing and holiday event and gifts etc..
One year, the managemnt in their infinite wisdom decided that everyone was to be assigned a number and various gifts ranging in value from $5.00 to $400 (oh yes....this gets good) would be passed out. Now EVERYONE contributed $124 a year. Can you imagine how yakkety-yakked some peoiple were to get a blooming $5 Dunkin Donuts git certificate?

[cal5755]

I am thanking the heavens right now that I work in a cheap place!! We dont get a holiday anything unless we throw it ourselves and do a potluck. We give a small trinket or favorite baked good to our co-workers but only out of the true spirit of giving. I will no longer wish for a company function if that is what we would look forward to.
Last year we put a box in our non smoking (we are doing it again this year) room with a sign that had the name of a family...mom dad 2 kids... we all filled the box with what we could afford. Me and my mother wrapped all the gifts (coloring books, socks, small toys, filled stockings, dvd player and other things) and we personally delivered it to the family on Christmas Eve day. I would much rather do that every year than the secret santa thing. I would hate to be the one singled out....and I would hate to see anyone else treated that way.

That just sounds so MEAN!!!

[Jenemmy]

UGH -- I sure wouldn't let it get to me, sweets! Just enjoy the season and try to let it go.

I personally DESPISE the whole White Elephant/Dirty Santa type gift exchange and stopped participating in them a long time ago. I don't know why -- just don't enjoy them. You never know if you are suppose to get a gag gift, a "re-gift", a nice gift, a cheap gift -- someone ALWAYS ends up feeling badly and it just isn't worth it. Maybe for the Christmas Party next year, just take in a nice tray of cookies, or a pretty cake or something and tell them that is the way you wanted to contribute.

:hug: Don't let 'em get ya down!!!

[IloveDisney71]

Holy moly what kind of gift is the custodian getting if everyone is donating at least $10??
I think it is AWFUL that they want you to write your name and how much you gave. It's the thought that counts, right???

I cannot believe that they expect you to write down the amount you gave - that is very tacky!
My custodian wouldn't deserve that kind of gift either. She doesn't do 1/2 of what her job "requires" her to do. When I went to her superior, he told her that I complained so now she does even LESS! There will be no gift from me this year.

[Tinkermom]

I am on staff at our church and we just had our department party yesterday. We all went out to lunch (the department paid for us) and we had an ornament exchange. It runs the same way as stated above. We all choose a number and then can pick a wrapped ornament or "steal" one. We have a BLAST! The thing is no one knows who brought what until we are done. I like it that way. Since it is an ornament you really can't go wrong. :thumbsup:

[RenDuran]

This entire thread has made me laugh....not so much at you all, but just the idea of Christmas gifts in the workplace. I'm glad that I'm a stay-at-home mom!

ShelbyAD, if noone ever picks your gifts, you could just wrap a brick and save yourself a lot of time and money! I hope that writing this thread made you feel better, so you can stop worrying about those bunch of losers at your workplace!

[Tinkerfreak]

I am thanking the heavens right now that I work in a cheap place!! We dont get a holiday anything unless we throw it ourselves and do a potluck. We give a small trinket or favorite baked good to our co-workers but only out of the true spirit of giving. I will no longer wish for a company function if that is what we would look forward to.
Last year we put a box in our non smoking (we are doing it again this year) room with a sign that had the name of a family...mom dad 2 kids... we all filled the box with what we could afford. Me and my mother wrapped all the gifts (coloring books, socks, small toys, filled stockings, dvd player and other things) and we personally delivered it to the family on Christmas Eve day. I would much rather do that every year than the secret santa thing. I would hate to be the one singled out....and I would hate to see anyone else treated that way.

That just sounds so MEAN!!!

When I worked for a big Insurance company our department decided one year we had had enough of the gift buying and decided to just collect money for a charity. We did this for the last several years I was there and every year we would donate toys and gifts to a charity and food to a shelter etc. We all actually felt good about what we were doing, there was no stressing over what to get someone you hardly knew but had drawn their name and it actually caught on in other departments. We did set up a food table for everyone to share and we all still enjoyed sitting around together at break or lunch and just talking about what our families were doing for the Holidays etc. It actually made us all less stressed and more in the real Christmas Spirit.

[AbeeNormal]

I sure am sorry and would feel just the same way you do about this, the problem is they're not worth your worries, nobody is that treats other people this way.

I too think that this is a good time for some R & R, so next year take that week off and relax knowing that you won't have to deal with that ever again. :sun:

Anyway all your friends are right here and we don't need any silly gifts just your time with us on Intercot. :heart:

[disneydeb]

I hope you have a wonderful holiday and put this behind you.

[Mousefever]

Here's the best story I've heard yet, though... and it comes out of my DH's workplace... his boss/the owner of the company is always competitive about what everyone gets each other at their Christmas party. (Small company, everyone knows each other well, etc.) Of course, being the owner, a collection has always been taken up for him, and someone is delegated to go find something - and the woman who usually does it has always done great. I think some people don't contribute, out of financial need, or they get him something personal themselves. Well, this year, he has made the giving "mandatory" and a specific dollar amount from everyone -- and he's already chosen his gift and made it known what he expects it to be!! Needless to say, although this man is a friend of my DH's, he was less than thrilled to fork over the money this year... and he usually doesn't mind at all. (Although I guess we should have expected it... the birthday party at a local restaurant/bar for this guy's 40th birthday was mandatory as well... he wasn't real happy that I had a big surprise party for my DH's 40th and everyone from work showed up, gifts in hand... so, he had to try to top it... can you imagine???) :confused:

Is it possible that Dan works for Michael Scott (from The Office)? I can't imagine a real person acting this way.

Amy



:dory:

[ShelbyAD]

ShelbyAD, if noone ever picks your gifts, you could just wrap a brick and save yourself a lot of time and money! I hope that writing this thread made you feel better, so you can stop worrying about those bunch of losers at your workplace! That made me laugh !!!!

I have stopped thinking about it and I know that they are all idiots. Ok, that's putting it mildly. This coming week will be better - 2 of our loudest people will be out on vacation!!! :joy::woohoo::yay: OK, maybe I seem too excited about it :blush: but hey, it will be much quieter and pleasant!!

[Bethanymouse]

I hate the gift exchange work "thingy". It is so forced and so "unchristmas". I am so sorry that you have rude people in your office. Next year, buy something that you really like and pick your own gift....that is what I have been doing because the last few years I have gotten gifts that looked as if they were "regifted". Best of Luck!