Savvy
11-05-2007, 08:27 PM
Hey everyone :)
Ok, so a week ago my English teacher assigned us an Imaginative paper, and told us to write about whatever we wanted. This is actually the story I came up with. Originally this was an idea for a full-on book, but since I needed to turn it in, and I only had a week to complete it, I was forced to cut it down significantly. This, is just a small portion of what I have actually written, but I thought, "Hey, what the heck? Let's see what other people think of it before I turn it in." So, here it is! Reviews, comments, and any thing that you think should be changed would be greatly appreciated! So, without further ado, here it is!
The Night the Moon fell from the Sky
The moon was rising, like a beacon against the inky black sky. A gentle wind blew through the willows, causing the leaves to sway softly like the flicker of a candle. All was still. At the center of the vast forest was a pond, so precise and beautifully shaped, it sent shivers down the spine. Standing across from the glassy water was a girl. The moonlight danced across her pale skin, giving it a soft glow. She was wearing nothing but a robe: a robe of such beauty, the lustful night suddenly looked dull and bland. The garment clung to her as though stuck to her very presence. It ran from her chest to the ground, exposing her shoulders to the cold. A small sheath hung around her waist. She was completely still, save her eyes, which were scanning the landscape. A wolf howled nearby, but she stood firm and unmoving. Several minutes passed. The moon rose to the center of the sky, her eyes watching it carefully. Then suddenly, a bright light filled the woods, illuminating the small pond. The beam seemed to be coming from the girl herself, yet when one looked closer, the light was actually emitting from a small stone that hung from her neck. She sighed, touching the small amulet. “It is time.”
Her eyes fell to the pond, a shiver running down her spine. For once in her life she was scared, scared of the unknown. The wind picked up, her hair flying out after it, as though it longed to go too. Trembling slightly, she took a step, then another. Her destiny had brought her here. She knew the prophecy had to be fulfilled. She was now at the foot of the pond. Her eyes went hazy, her mind spiraling back to that moment: the moment she had been chosen. She had been practicing the piano when her father called her down.
“Luna! Come down here!”
Luna groaned, slammed her hands down on the keys, and stalked downstairs, her impatience leading the way. Her footsteps brought her to the kitchen. Pushing open the door, her eyes caught sight of her mother, father, and a very old man all seated around the table. Her mind went into overdrive, analyzing every inch of this man that she could. He was very old from the look of it, at least 200 years. Wrinkles covered his body as though he was going to be consumed by them. His eyes caught hers. There was something unusual about him, something Luna could not quite grasp.
He chuckled and broke contact with her, turning to her parents who looked quite shocked. “Her senses are already highly efficient. She will learn quickly,” he informed them before returning his gaze to Luna. “You,” he said, pointing a gnarled finger at her. “I sense great power in you.”
Luna’s brow creased. Who was this old man and why was he speaking to her this way? She crossed her arms self-consciously and moved slowly into the kitchen. He watched her every step of the way, analyzing her as she had him. It was not until she had pulled up a chair between her parents (who looked like they were going to cry), that he once again spoke.
“Do you know what this is?” he asked, indicating his hand which was clasped around a small necklace. It was solid silver, with a delicate chain, and a small light blue
stone inlaid to the center. She shook her head. “This,” he said dramatically, “is the Dimire. A powerful sub- no, the MOST powerful substance on earth. It is a stone made from diamond and sapphire, the two purest stones of them all.” His eyes locked with hers for a moment, then he continued. “You see,” he began, “One thousand years ago our land was in turmoil. Darkness overtook everything we valued. Kings, queens, knights, and warlords: all were destroyed. And at the base of all this terror was Greyvand, a powerful sorcerer, deeply practiced in the dark arts. He tore apart everything good and whole in this world. He ruled our people for over 600 years.” The old man’s voice shook slightly, his eyes filled with malice. “There were many uprisings, but none prevailed. It was not until a small group of soldiers about your age broke through his defenses and charged Greyvand. He destroyed all but one, a young woman. She killed him in a single blow. However, the power generated between them was too great, and she died in the process. Now the thing is, they both died at the exact same moment, each in their most powerful state. This resounding burden on them both was so powerful that their bodies vanished and in their place lay this small stone.” He indicated the small necklace. “The diamond half is Greyvand’s power and the sapphire’s, the young girl’s.
“For years it went unnoticed, until thirty years ago, on this very day, it was found. On that same day, a prophecy was written. Now this prophecy stated that in 15 years’ time, a savior would be born who would make the ultimate sacrifice and save us all from the impending darkness. This person would somehow break the bond between them and their destiny, and relinquish from us the entire burden that is sweeping the world” His voice rose dramatically at these words. “For years mathematicians, scientists, and even seers have attempted to unlock the mystery of this stone and its power, yet none have been successful. This stone belongs to the being from the prophecy. This stone,” he said, taking her hand, “belongs to you O’ great one,” and with that, he placed the small necklace in her hand. The stone felt warm against her skin and glowed brightly for a minute before returning to its natural state.
Luna was at a loss for words. She had, of course, heard the story of the Dimire, but never had she seen it, let alone touched it. Yet here it was, resting in her palm. Her hand closed around the small amulet with a tight grip, and her eyes were furiously darting around the room as though waiting for someone to say, “April Fools!” or “Just kidding!” But, alas, no one did, and Luna knew it was no joke. She looked up at the old man, her hand trembling. “B-but it c-couldn’t possibly be m-me, I mean how?” she asked, her eyes filled with terror.
The old man chuckled once more. “Rest assured Luna Solei, it is you. You are the one from the prophecy, the one who shall lead us as the darkness tries to take over once more.” Luna looked as though she was going to cry. Noticing this, the man reached for her hand, plucked the amulet delicately from her grasp, and without a second thought, dropped the necklace around her throat, and clasped it in the back. The stone glowed once more, sending shock waves that pulsed through Luna’s body. “You are the one Luna Solei. You are the one.”
His words echoed in her mind. Sniffling slightly, she wiped her eyes, refusing any tears that might fall.
Ok, so a week ago my English teacher assigned us an Imaginative paper, and told us to write about whatever we wanted. This is actually the story I came up with. Originally this was an idea for a full-on book, but since I needed to turn it in, and I only had a week to complete it, I was forced to cut it down significantly. This, is just a small portion of what I have actually written, but I thought, "Hey, what the heck? Let's see what other people think of it before I turn it in." So, here it is! Reviews, comments, and any thing that you think should be changed would be greatly appreciated! So, without further ado, here it is!
The Night the Moon fell from the Sky
The moon was rising, like a beacon against the inky black sky. A gentle wind blew through the willows, causing the leaves to sway softly like the flicker of a candle. All was still. At the center of the vast forest was a pond, so precise and beautifully shaped, it sent shivers down the spine. Standing across from the glassy water was a girl. The moonlight danced across her pale skin, giving it a soft glow. She was wearing nothing but a robe: a robe of such beauty, the lustful night suddenly looked dull and bland. The garment clung to her as though stuck to her very presence. It ran from her chest to the ground, exposing her shoulders to the cold. A small sheath hung around her waist. She was completely still, save her eyes, which were scanning the landscape. A wolf howled nearby, but she stood firm and unmoving. Several minutes passed. The moon rose to the center of the sky, her eyes watching it carefully. Then suddenly, a bright light filled the woods, illuminating the small pond. The beam seemed to be coming from the girl herself, yet when one looked closer, the light was actually emitting from a small stone that hung from her neck. She sighed, touching the small amulet. “It is time.”
Her eyes fell to the pond, a shiver running down her spine. For once in her life she was scared, scared of the unknown. The wind picked up, her hair flying out after it, as though it longed to go too. Trembling slightly, she took a step, then another. Her destiny had brought her here. She knew the prophecy had to be fulfilled. She was now at the foot of the pond. Her eyes went hazy, her mind spiraling back to that moment: the moment she had been chosen. She had been practicing the piano when her father called her down.
“Luna! Come down here!”
Luna groaned, slammed her hands down on the keys, and stalked downstairs, her impatience leading the way. Her footsteps brought her to the kitchen. Pushing open the door, her eyes caught sight of her mother, father, and a very old man all seated around the table. Her mind went into overdrive, analyzing every inch of this man that she could. He was very old from the look of it, at least 200 years. Wrinkles covered his body as though he was going to be consumed by them. His eyes caught hers. There was something unusual about him, something Luna could not quite grasp.
He chuckled and broke contact with her, turning to her parents who looked quite shocked. “Her senses are already highly efficient. She will learn quickly,” he informed them before returning his gaze to Luna. “You,” he said, pointing a gnarled finger at her. “I sense great power in you.”
Luna’s brow creased. Who was this old man and why was he speaking to her this way? She crossed her arms self-consciously and moved slowly into the kitchen. He watched her every step of the way, analyzing her as she had him. It was not until she had pulled up a chair between her parents (who looked like they were going to cry), that he once again spoke.
“Do you know what this is?” he asked, indicating his hand which was clasped around a small necklace. It was solid silver, with a delicate chain, and a small light blue
stone inlaid to the center. She shook her head. “This,” he said dramatically, “is the Dimire. A powerful sub- no, the MOST powerful substance on earth. It is a stone made from diamond and sapphire, the two purest stones of them all.” His eyes locked with hers for a moment, then he continued. “You see,” he began, “One thousand years ago our land was in turmoil. Darkness overtook everything we valued. Kings, queens, knights, and warlords: all were destroyed. And at the base of all this terror was Greyvand, a powerful sorcerer, deeply practiced in the dark arts. He tore apart everything good and whole in this world. He ruled our people for over 600 years.” The old man’s voice shook slightly, his eyes filled with malice. “There were many uprisings, but none prevailed. It was not until a small group of soldiers about your age broke through his defenses and charged Greyvand. He destroyed all but one, a young woman. She killed him in a single blow. However, the power generated between them was too great, and she died in the process. Now the thing is, they both died at the exact same moment, each in their most powerful state. This resounding burden on them both was so powerful that their bodies vanished and in their place lay this small stone.” He indicated the small necklace. “The diamond half is Greyvand’s power and the sapphire’s, the young girl’s.
“For years it went unnoticed, until thirty years ago, on this very day, it was found. On that same day, a prophecy was written. Now this prophecy stated that in 15 years’ time, a savior would be born who would make the ultimate sacrifice and save us all from the impending darkness. This person would somehow break the bond between them and their destiny, and relinquish from us the entire burden that is sweeping the world” His voice rose dramatically at these words. “For years mathematicians, scientists, and even seers have attempted to unlock the mystery of this stone and its power, yet none have been successful. This stone belongs to the being from the prophecy. This stone,” he said, taking her hand, “belongs to you O’ great one,” and with that, he placed the small necklace in her hand. The stone felt warm against her skin and glowed brightly for a minute before returning to its natural state.
Luna was at a loss for words. She had, of course, heard the story of the Dimire, but never had she seen it, let alone touched it. Yet here it was, resting in her palm. Her hand closed around the small amulet with a tight grip, and her eyes were furiously darting around the room as though waiting for someone to say, “April Fools!” or “Just kidding!” But, alas, no one did, and Luna knew it was no joke. She looked up at the old man, her hand trembling. “B-but it c-couldn’t possibly be m-me, I mean how?” she asked, her eyes filled with terror.
The old man chuckled once more. “Rest assured Luna Solei, it is you. You are the one from the prophecy, the one who shall lead us as the darkness tries to take over once more.” Luna looked as though she was going to cry. Noticing this, the man reached for her hand, plucked the amulet delicately from her grasp, and without a second thought, dropped the necklace around her throat, and clasped it in the back. The stone glowed once more, sending shock waves that pulsed through Luna’s body. “You are the one Luna Solei. You are the one.”
His words echoed in her mind. Sniffling slightly, she wiped her eyes, refusing any tears that might fall.