Why is R.S.V.P. So Difficult?? (mini-vent)

[ldn324]

We recently had a party where about 25 people were invited. We made really cute invitations giving all of the details and asking for R.S.V.P. - listing two phone numbers and an e-mail address for people to use.

Of the 25 people invited, 10 people actually took the time to R.S.V.P. which, from what I've read, is actually a pretty good percentage. 5 people showed up although they didn't R.S.V.P. 2 people brought guests with them which is OK because they did call first to ask if it was alright.

My problem is with the remaining 2 groups of people - those who didn't respond at all and those (4 total) who responded that they would be attending, but then didn't show up. This was two couples who don't know each other so it's not likely an emergency came up for both couples at the same time.

Now I understand sometimes things come up - people get sick, called in to work, etc., but whatever happened to common courtesy of calling the hosts and saying you are sorry you are not able to attend after all. At the very least, call the next day to apologize for not showing up. And those who never even bothered to say they were not coming irritate me just as much. These are people I considered to be our friends. Obviously I know that's not the case now as they couldn't bother themselves to even say thank you for the invite.

I guess I'm just having a hard time understanding why R.S.V.P is such a hard concept for people to understand. And even worse, how you can respond that you are coming, then not show up knowing that the hosts have bought food, drink, etc. based on your response?

I'm almost ashamed to admit, I keep a list of people who do this and they are never, ever invited to another party. Mean I guess but I've had it with the lack of courtesy and respect.

Anyone else get as frustrated about parties, weddings, etc. and the whole R.S.V.P thing? I probably shouldn't, but I do take it personally and unfortunately I look at those people differently from then on out.

Whew...I feel a little better now :blush:

[DizneyRox]

I'm almost ashamed to admit, I keep a list of people who do this and they are never, ever invited to another party. Mean I guess but I've had it with the lack of courtesy and respect.
You're not the only one, but my list isn't on paper. We all have those people in our lives, I don't let them bother me though. It's just the way they are, and it probably doesn't even occur to them.

[offwego]

I entertain a lot for work and this happens all the time with my clients as well. Don't feel bad!

[MNNHFLTX]

I think your feelings are perfectly understandable, especially about not wanting to invite those guests to another party. People who do not RSVP are an enigma to me too. Best I can come up with is that some people just don't want to commit to attending until it gets closer and then simply forget about it.

[wwgirl]

I think that type of behavior is very common. You spent a lot of time and energy to plan and prepare for your party. Your friends are lucky to have someone so thoughtful in their lives.

I view this as an epidemic of bad manners that stems from our "me, me, it's all about me" society - frankly, most people just don't spend a lot of time thinking about other people, simplistic, I know.

I absolutely agree with your taking them off future guest lists.

[Dsnygirl]

I totally agree with you... this is a huge pet peeve of mine, as well. I usually do all the cooking and prep work for our parties, and I hate to wast $$ on food, etc., that won't get eaten - so I try to budget based on the number of guests. When I'm totally unsure b/c half of the people haven't responded, it just drives me crazy. That being said, I've learned who these folks are, and for the ones who often show up w/o RSVP'ing (unfort., it's some of our closest friends who do this - I think they just assume we know they'll be there) I usually find an excuse to call a few days before for some "other reason" and find out for sure if they're coming or not. A bit of a pain on my part, but I just hate not knowing - I'm just too "party OCD" to not know! :blush:
And as for the rest who just don't call/don't show - well, if it's a family party, I'll still invite them out of kindness, but won't expect them - and if it's just a casual party? Well, they usually don't get invited, since after a few no-shows, I just assume they won't come, and I consider it their loss!
Don't sweat it - they're missing out on a good time, and you just focus on the folks that are there and enjoy yourself!! :)

[IloveJack]

After planning and doing my wedding two years ago, I realized that the only people that have the courtesy to RSVP are the ones who've given a party/shower/etc. and had to pay for too much food, or were embarassed with too little. After they've had the short end of the stick, they're much more compliant with responding. Alas, I also learned that the traditional "invite 100%, plan for 50-75%" is very true. :twocents:

[Disneyatic]

It is this exact thing that keeps me from having parties (other than DD's birthday) at our house! I would love to have parties but the few times we have tried it is has been a borderline disaster because of the people that do/do not show up and trying to plan for it.

We had this same problem at our wedding 5 years ago. Out of about 75 invitations sent out, we received MAYBE 25 RSVP cards. And as you all know, the RSVP cards are sent along with postage to make it easier! What a waste of time, printing, paper and postage!
We ended up having to estimate our guest list and it was so stressful!
With as connected as today's society is today, you would think that this would be a non-issue!

[Madame Leona]

I think it is so rude to not RSVP. Family is my biggest problem and I usually end up being rude about it. We had several people not rsvp for ds's first birthday. The day I needed to order the cake and buy ice cream, I was on the phone with them to ask if they were coming or not. I didn't make up an excuse, I called specifically for that reason. I don't think I would do that to none family but those people would not be invited again.

[SBETigg]

I'm really not sure which is worse, to RSVP and not show or to show without having RSVPd. Oh, and then those who don't even respond. A lot of people seem to think not responding is acceptable if you don't plan to go, and in some cases that's true (usually the host will note that it's not necessary to respond unless attending, in that case). It's probably safe to assume that no response means not planning to attend. In any case, it's a shame and it seems that people are losing touch with basic manners. I hope you had a fun night anyway.

[mrsgaribaldi]

I must confess I am one who doesn't RSVP, mostly on time, usually I do but I'm late:blush: All I can say in my defense is that I am like this in all things. I misplace bills, forget appointments, my house is a mess and I am disorganized. Not that it makes it better for the people having the party. I usually just forget or keep putting it off over and over until I'm late. I will try to get better with this. I have a wedding coming up that I will RSVP for in plenty of time. I'm sorry.:)

[merlinmagic4]

My problem is with parents who don't rsvp for kid's birthday parties. I usually do things that require knowing exactly how many children there are (like cobweb confusion, tshirts with names for a football game, etc, etc.). So, when kids show up who haven't responded, I have to move like a maniac to try and make another tshirt or add another string to cobweb confusion. I don't mind if they call late, I just want them to call!

[Ian]

I view this as an epidemic of bad manners that stems from our "me, me, it's all about me" society - frankly, most people just don't spend a lot of time thinking about other people, simplistic, I know.

I absolutely agree with your taking them off future guest lists.:ditto:

We're like the only people we know (both family and friends) who ever do much formal entertaining. We always have the picnics and BBQ's on the summer holidays, we have Christmas Eve at our place, etc.

I'm constantly amazed by the number of people who can't be bothered with the courtesy of an R.S.V.P.

You know where it really comes up a lot?? The kids' birthday parties. We invite the kids from her class (as they invite our DD to theirs) and the parents just don't R.S.V.P.! And then some show up and some don't.

The death of manners in this country is very troublesome. Why/how have we become such an uncivilized bunch of self-centered jerks????

[Tick-Tock]

I completely agree with your feelings of frustration. I 'm getting married next week and there are a couple of people who not only never RSVPed in the first place, they also didn't respond to an e-mail reminder! On the whole, though, we only had to "track down" about 10 invitations (out of 85). I made no excuses, just waited for a week after the requested response date, then e-mailed and said I was following up on the invitation because I needed a firm guest count for the hotel. It's amazing how quickly most people responded to that reminder e-mail.

[RenDuran]

So it's not just the idiots in this area that don't RSVP? I've had no luck getting people to RSVP, whether I add multiple phone numbers and/or an email address. And they wonder why noone invites them to anything!

[PirateLover]

I will RSVP with yes or no if it is asked for formal events like weddings/ showers/parties at a hall. Other than that, I have to say I fall in the category of people who tend to not RSVP if they have no intentions of going. Also, like Marilyn I have a tendancy to misplace things. Sometimes I have no clue right away if I will be able to attend an event, so I put the paper aside and often will lose it, accidently throw it out or just plumb forget. However, I would never show up without talking to the host first.

Nowadays I find that email/ web invites are the way to go. Many sites even allow people to respond with maybe and then as it gets closer you can remind them to send a definite answer.

[kakn7294]

My best friend's son just got married this past weekend (he's at WDW for the first time enjoying a Disneymoon right now!). It was amazing how many people either sent those little reply cards back weeks late or not at all - and the postage was already paid, all they had to do was mark the appropriate box, seal it in the envelope, and put it in their mailbox. Many had the attitude of "well, you know we're coming". I've found that it has become a trend in this country to not bother with the RSVP anymore - and it's really rude IMO. I know sometimes there are extenuating circumstances, but most of the time, there's no excuse. I have no problem with eliminating repeat offenders from the guest list next time.

[DizneeRX]

I’ve RSVP’ed and I’ve forgotten to RSVP. I think people put a little TOO much importance behind it. It’s so easy to crucify people for not getting back to you…. Honestly, give people a break. I can’t tell you how many times I just slip in an RSVP under the wire. We live in a busy world. And honestly, people have more to think about than to fret or prioritize an RSVP for a simple birthday party (ESPECIALLY if they have kids). Weddings are a completely different story, those require an RSVP, but birthday parties…. People, lighten up!

We have had our share of birthday parties and have been unaware of how many people will show up. It’s absolutely no problem because we always plan for it. We always have more than enough food, goody bags, etc. We make sure we always have extra, just in case. I’m a busy mom and I know how it gets.

If I invite people to a party, and I REALLY need to know if they’ll come or not, I just call them. I’m the host, I’m throwing the party, I believe in being gracious to my guests. More than likely it’s a case of “Oh, I’m sorry I forgot to RSVP….yes, we’re coming.” I know I’ve had times where things sneak up on me and I forget when I’m supposed to RSVP by. Or it’s a case of people feeling bad about not being able to attend so they don’t RSVP. We’re human, let’s help each other out rather then think so poorly of people we’re actually inviting to houses for parties. Come on! If you’re going to have such a bad attitude about the people you’re inviting to a birthday party your throwing, maybe you shouldn’t be throwing parties. Is being a gracious host that difficult?

I love it where people just have parties so they can receive gifts. I can’t tell you how many parties my children or I have been invited to, just so the honoree could receive a present…. birthdays, house warming, any event. You should invite people over to enjoy their company, not act like it’s some kind of privilege they were invited. Or that people are obligated to you just because you invited them. Maybe there’s a reason why some people have problems with others RSVPing to them…..

[Terra]

I’ve RSVP’ed and I’ve forgotten to RSVP. I think people put a little TOO much importance behind it. It’s so easy to crucify people for not getting back to you…. Honestly, give people a break. I can’t tell you how many times I just slip in an RSVP under the wire. We live in a busy world. And honestly, people have more to think about than to fret or prioritize an RSVP for a simple birthday party (ESPECIALLY if they have kids). Weddings are a completely different story, those require an RSVP, but birthday parties…. People, lighten up!

..

Sorry, but I disagree with you. Children and their parties are just as important as weddings IMO...my son is getting ready to turn one year old and that is a huge milestone in our lives. You may not think it's important, but to us it is extremely important. It is a gift and blessing!

The best way to handle RSVPs is to decide the day or within the next couple of days that you recieve it. Mark down the date if you plan on going and then RSVP [either way].

Some of us ARE on a budget so I can't just "plan" for 30 extra people to show up. In addition, that is VERY rude. I had a terrible time with RSVPs for my own wedding and had to end up calling people over and over and many STILL did not get back with me after that, yet showed up. You can bet that they are no longer invitited to anything else in our lives.

I still haven't recieved RSVPs for my son's party next Sunday and I've even called AND sent emails as reminders. I NEED to know for food count, goody bags ect.

You know I actually had a friend who got so irritated with the rudeness of people not RSVP'ing. Finally one year she did something drastic that really taught a lesson. She was having a party for her husband. NO ONE RSVP'ed...so the day of the party she stuck a sign on the door that said "Sorry, no RSVP'ed so we figured everyone was busy. Just the family have gone out to celebrate. Sorry if you showed up."

I think that was a great idea!! lol

[merlinmagic4]

I’ve RSVP’ed and I’ve forgotten to RSVP. I think people put a little TOO much importance behind it. It’s so easy to crucify people for not getting back to you…. Honestly, give people a break. I can’t tell you how many times I just slip in an RSVP under the wire. We live in a busy world. And honestly, people have more to think about than to fret or prioritize an RSVP for a simple birthday party (ESPECIALLY if they have kids). Weddings are a completely different story, those require an RSVP, but birthday parties…. People, lighten up!

We have had our share of birthday parties and have been unaware of how many people will show up. It’s absolutely no problem because we always plan for it. We always have more than enough food, goody bags, etc. We make sure we always have extra, just in case. I’m a busy mom and I know how it gets.

If I invite people to a party, and I REALLY need to know if they’ll come or not, I just call them. I’m the host, I’m throwing the party, I believe in being gracious to my guests. More than likely it’s a case of “Oh, I’m sorry I forgot to RSVP….yes, we’re coming.” I know I’ve had times where things sneak up on me and I forget when I’m supposed to RSVP by. Or it’s a case of people feeling bad about not being able to attend so they don’t RSVP. We’re human, let’s help each other out rather then think so poorly of people we’re actually inviting to houses for parties. Come on! If you’re going to have such a bad attitude about the people you’re inviting to a birthday party your throwing, maybe you shouldn’t be throwing parties. Is being a gracious host that difficult?

I love it where people just have parties so they can receive gifts. I can’t tell you how many parties my children or I have been invited to, just so the honoree could receive a present…. birthdays, house warming, any event. You should invite people over to enjoy their company, not act like it’s some kind of privilege they were invited. Or that people are obligated to you just because you invited them. Maybe there’s a reason why some people have problems with others RSVPing to them…..

I think you have overreacted a bit. I always buy enough for all the people I have invited (hence the ability to make a tshirt for a child who I didn't know was coming) but I still feel it is right to call. I call immediately upon receiving an invitation. I have three children and it takes me about 1.5 minutes to pick up the phone and tell them yes we can or no we can't.

At our birthday parties the people we invite go home with LOTS of favors and prizes. Many times the favors and prizes are personalized. I LIKE to do that for the kids. We put the focus on them, not on the party child (we don't do it for the gifts). So, it does help me to know how many because I am on a limited budget. I don't crucify anybody for not calling and am very gracious if I happen to see them or receive a call late. I welcome anyone who shows up at my house, just like they called. So, don't make me out to be the bad guy because I think people should call :confused:

[RenDuran]

You know I actually had a friend who got so irritated with the rudeness of people not RSVP'ing. Finally one year she did something drastic that really taught a lesson. She was having a party for her husband. NO ONE RSVP'ed...so the day of the party she stuck a sign on the door that said "Sorry, no RSVP'ed so we figured everyone was busy. Just the family have gone out to celebrate. Sorry if you showed up."

I think that was a great idea!! lol

This is hilarious! I wish I had the guts to do it!

And I do think we live in a busy world, like DizneeRX states, but are we really so busy that we can't make a quick courtesy call? If we're that busy, why would we even have parties to begin with?

[Terra]

This is hilarious! I wish I had the guts to do it!

And I do think we live in a busy world, like DizneeRX states, but are we really so busy that we can't make a quick courtesy call? If we're that busy, why would we even have parties to begin with?

LOL...I know, me too!! She had some mad people at her, but she really hasn't had a problem with RSVP's after that!

Yeah, I agree...we all are busy...but it only takes a minute to make that call! Everytime I get an RSVP, I pretty much look right away to see and let them know!

[PAYROLL PRINCESS]

And don't forget that on occasion, the mail might get misdirected or not delivered. I've had that happen with bills etc. So i think you should make sure that isn't the case with the ones that didn't bother to call, at least the first time. If it happens again, then you know they are just being inconciderate.

[magicofdisney]

Ok, on behalf of all the non-repliers, I apologize. I just don't always get to it. I realize it's a simple process, but maybe we could simplify it more by only asking for a response if the person plans to attend. I also prefer an email response method as it's much easier for me to whip off a quick email stating my ability to attend.

Now as a mother of 4 children, I HATE to commit to parties. If I had my way I wouldn't even tell the kids about them until we're on our way. Why? Because inevitably, someone gets sick and I can't take them. This actually happens more times than not. It drives me insane. As a matter of fact, two years ago I had a ruptured appendix (not knowing it at the time) and I was fighting my pain all day just so I could take my girls to a birthday party. Needless to say, that didn't work out.

I guess, sometimes, you just don't know how much something bothers someone until they voice their concerns.

[DizneeRX]

Children and their parties are just as important as weddings IMO...my son is getting ready to turn one year old and that is a huge milestone in our lives. You may not think it's important, but to us it is extremely important. It is a gift and blessing!
...
Some of us ARE on a budget so I can't just "plan" for 30 extra people to show up. QUOTE]

First, I didn’t say the children’s birthdays weren’t important. Of course they are, you missed the point. My kids’ first birthdays were huge milestones in our lives as well. What you’re forgetting is that these milestones were for OUR family. I don’t expect others to make MY kids’ birthdays milestones in THEIR lives and drop everything to immediately pick up that phone and RSVP to me. I’m lenient with people. (Just a side note, my thoughts on RSVPing are irrelevant as to how I feel about my kids birthdays. Don’t make such a harsh assumption about me.)

If you missed the point, I’ll restate it… Some people seem to be getting hell-bent on others RSVPing, and seem to lose sight of the real reason for the party. I’m just happy that you’re at my party even if you forgot to let me know in advance that you were coming. I invited you, I’m happy you could make it and take time out of your life to celebrate something for one of us. RSVPs are a little antiquated in my book and seem to be a good excuse for people to get mad at other people.


I’m on a budget as well, and didn’t say I had money to burn for parties. But do I REALLY need to know in advance?? I invited 25 people, I have food for at least 30 people. And if you don’t come…. Leftovers for us (make lemonade!) How does that hurt my budget? I wasn’t counting on saving $$ because someone didn’t show up.

Also, I’m curious, you have “30 extra people” who show up to your party?? If these 30 extra people weren’t invited then RSVPing isn’t your problem, party crashers are. But if you have 30 of the people you invited who didn’t RSVP and showed up, my question is… how many people overall did you invite??
- If you invited 35 and 30 didn’t RSVP, I would suspect something other than simple RSVP problems are going on.
- If you invited 80 people (I dare say your budget must be a heck of a lot bigger than mine) and 30 didn’t RSVP and showed up,… shouldn’t you be prepared to foot a bill in the event that everyone says yes? If you can’t afford to cover everyone you invite, don’t invite that many people.

[QUOTE=merlinmagic4;1465363]I think you have overreacted a bit. ....
So, don't make me out to be the bad guy because I think people should call :confused:
My point: Be lenient with others. Is that an over-reaction? Locking people out of their houses, name calling, never inviting family members to things in the future, alienating people from your life over a birthday party…. I’m the one over-reacting?? :confused:

I was waiting for the "bad guy" comment, and No, I’m not saying the host is the bad guy, however a host with such a lousy disposition about their guests may just be the bad guy.

(Please, don’t take that like I’m personally talking to you, I’m speaking in general about the topic. I’m sure you, personally, are a lovely host. In fact from what you wrote we sound a lot alike, I love making personal goody bags for kids and enjoy doing special things for my guests, I think it also teaches the birthday kid a lot.)

My final thoughts… It is a courtesy to RSVP (I’ll stress the word COURTESY). Where I greatly differ from some others on this thread is the fact that I really just don’t put SO MUCH importance behind an RSVP. Also, I feel it’s a two way street between the host and the guests. When you throw a party things like not RSVPing are to be expected, it comes with the territory. Honestly, if you can’t handle it THAT much, don’t throw a party.

[Terra]

First, I didn’t say the children’s birthdays weren’t important. Of course they are, you missed the point. My kids’ first birthdays were huge milestones in our lives as well. What you’re forgetting is that these milestones were for OUR family. I don’t expect others to make MY kids’ birthdays milestones in THEIR lives and drop everything to immediately pick up that phone and RSVP to me. I’m lenient with people. (Just a side note, my thoughts on RSVPing are irrelevant as to how I feel about my kids birthdays. Don’t make such a harsh assumption about me.)

If you missed the point, I’ll restate it… Some people seem to be getting hell-bent on others RSVPing, and seem to lose sight of the real reason for the party. I’m just happy that you’re at my party even if you forgot to let me know in advance that you were coming. I invited you, I’m happy you could make it and take time out of your life to celebrate something for one of us. RSVPs are a little antiquated in my book and seem to be a good excuse for people to get mad at other people.


I’m on a budget as well, and didn’t say I had money to burn for parties. But do I REALLY need to know in advance?? I invited 25 people, I have food for at least 30 people. And if you don’t come…. Leftovers for us (make lemonade!) How does that hurt my budget? I wasn’t counting on saving $$ because someone didn’t show up.

Also, I’m curious, you have “30 extra people” who show up to your party?? If these 30 extra people weren’t invited then RSVPing isn’t your problem, party crashers are. But if you have 30 of the people you invited who didn’t RSVP and showed up, my question is… how many people overall did you invite??
- If you invited 35 and 30 didn’t RSVP, I would suspect something other than simple RSVP problems are going on.
- If you invited 80 people (I dare say your budget must be a heck of a lot bigger than mine) and 30 didn’t RSVP and showed up,… shouldn’t you be prepared to foot a bill in the event that everyone says yes? If you can’t afford to cover everyone you invite, don’t invite that many people.


My point: Be lenient with others. Is that an over-reaction? Locking people out of their houses, name calling, never inviting family members to things in the future, alienating people from your life over a birthday party…. I’m the one over-reacting?? :confused:

I was waiting for the "bad guy" comment, and No, I’m not saying the host is the bad guy, however a host with such a lousy disposition about their guests may just be the bad guy.

(Please, don’t take that like I’m personally talking to you, I’m speaking in general about the topic. I’m sure you, personally, are a lovely host. In fact from what you wrote we sound a lot alike, I love making personal goody bags for kids and enjoy doing special things for my guests, I think it also teaches the birthday kid a lot.)

My final thoughts… It is a courtesy to RSVP (I’ll stress the word COURTESY). Where I greatly differ from some others on this thread is the fact that I really just don’t put SO MUCH importance behind an RSVP. Also, I feel it’s a two way street between the host and the guests. When you throw a party things like not RSVPing are to be expected, it comes with the territory. Honestly, if you can’t handle it THAT much, don’t throw a party.

I'm talking about "x" number of people showing up who WERE invitied but did NOT RSVP...
If I only get RSVP's from 10 people out of 30 that I invite. I am NOT making food for 30 people. It's not that I can't afford it..[oh don't make harsh assumption...] I just think it is wasteful..VERY wasteful. Yes we could have leftovers...but we would never be able to eat leftovers for 20 extra people [or however many] before it would go bad, not to mention that I don't have the room in my small frig to store it..

Anyway, that is all beside the point..
Bottom line is...It IS VERY RUDE to NOT RSVP... I understand your statement about not dropping everything at that very moment to RSVP, but surely within the next few days you have time, no?

I disagree with you. No RSVP, then too bad!

[ldn324]

Anyway, that is all beside the point..
Bottom line is...It IS VERY RUDE to NOT RSVP... I understand your statement about not dropping everything at that very moment to RSVP, but surely within the next few days you have time, no?

I disagree with you. No RSVP, then too bad!

:ditto: and well said Terra.

There is no gray area here - if you receive an invitation for anything, it means the host/hostess thought enough of you to invite you. If you do not respond - whether you forget, get busy, etc., it is simply rude and translates that you don't respect that person or family as much as they respected you and that you don't think their event is worthy of your time to respond.

I work three jobs, yet still find time to respond to invitations - whether I can make it or not. It's just simply courtesy to respond with regrets if you cannot attend and on the flip side if you are planning on attending. Especially with the easy of e-mailing an RSVP these days, there is no excuse for not doing so.

Oh, and by the way, if you include a return address on your envelope and the mailed invitation does not get returned to you, I think you can safely assume that the person received the invitation. Double that if you run into that person after the event and they try and avoid you or act very uneasy when having to speak with you. Guilt will do that to people.

[offwego]

Funny how this tends to be such an issue. I have always felt that it doesn't take much to respond but then I guess it would be easy to be non-commital as well.

I have to say that in terms of planning etc it is very offputting to plan and account for a number that either turns out to be smaller or larger then you thought it would be because people didn't contact you. And truly aside from neighbourhood block parties/and your third cousins wedding how many events a year are we all invited too where we don't know who it is?

[jax86]

sometimes things do come up and we all make mistakes, but it seems to me that its always the SAME people that don't respond. If it were up to me I wouldn't invite them anymore, but my DH is much more forgiving than I am :) I truely believe some people want it to appear that they are so "important and busy" that they can't be bothered. I do know some people that actually wait to see if something better comes along. VERY rude.

[PirateLover]

Oh, and by the way, if you include a return address on your envelope and the mailed invitation does not get returned to you, I think you can safely assume that the person received the invitation.
No, actually, it is not safe to assume anything. I once was thought to be one of the rude and inconsiderate people you are all speaking of because I had not RSVP'd to a baby shower for a friend's cousin who I met twice in my life. Apparently they kept talking about me wondering why I didn't respond etc. I didn't even know I was invited nor had I expected to be. Low and behold, a few days before the event my invitation turns up in the mail, ripped and wet and looking like it had been through a tornado.

I also get someone else's mail at least once a month. I am nice enough to walk it over to their house if they are nearby or stick it back in the mailbox, but there are people I'm sure who just can't be bothered.

All of that being said, I admit it's a rare occasion. However these things do happen, and if it's a first time "offense" I think it is rude to immediately cross someone off your list without talking to them first, especially if you consider them a friend. Now, if they are a repeat offender or avoid you when you see them, then no you should not waste your time inviting them again. :twocents: