Experienced parents...what am I doing wrong??

[Terra]

Well I ended up doing the First Years toss and go sippys AND.......SUCCESS!!!! It's a 6+ month starter sippy and the holes are really small so you really have **** to get it out. He is doing wonderfully with it!!

Thank you so much everyone!!!
It is so nice to have others who have been there to turn too!!

I could sure use some advice/input!

David is 11 1/2 months old...

He's been taking the sippy cup since about 6 months....but he has never mastered the flow right....it comes out to quickly for him no matter which sippy I use. We are at the point where we are almost 100% on the sippy...but I'm wasting so much juice and milk because I can't find a sippy with a slow flow valve!

I've used the Evenflo, Nuby kinds and Avent...all come out to fast for him....
Of course even with teh bottles at almost a year old he still needs a stage 1 or 2 nipple!!! Stage 2 *sometimes* comes out to fast for him.....

I wonder if it's a preference that he likes a slower flow??

Also, solids!! I can not get this kid to hardly eat any texture...he still likes everything pureed....Is this normal???
Will he start eating his food more chunky when he's truly ready??

I've tried "thickening" up his stuff...like green beans...slowy leaving it more and more chunky...once it gets to almost bite size pieces, forget it...he just plays with it...and when I feed him it, he'll take a bit and that's it...until I puree it...

Okay...what am I doing wrong?????
And what sippy can you recommend...we could be totally off the bottle if he could just control the flow...

[BrerGnat]

When you say it comes out too fast for him, what do you mean? Does he just dribble it out, or does it choke him?

I have found that ALL the cups you mentioned, the liquid comes out too fast. The ones that worked the best for my youngest son (now 19 months) are those First Years disposable cups that come in rainbow colors. There are no valves, and the holes are super small, so they really have to work to get liquid out, and it's only a small amount at a time. I tried practically EVERY sippy cup and that is the only one my son would drink milk out of.

Have you tried a straw cup? Playtex makes sport cups with a valve controlled straw that only allows a bit of liquid up at a time. The straw cups are actually what most pediatricians prefer since the sippy cups hinder jaw development. Most doctors would tell you to go from a bottle to a REGULAR cup, but that's impractical for most parents, but it's acutally healthier to get them drinking out of a straw. Maybe try that, since you could then pinch the straw to control the flow even more.

Regarding the textured foods. My older son was eating pureed foods until he was almost 2 y/o. He has mild autism, and had MAJOR texture issues as a baby. He would gag violently when his food was too chunky and he would not eat things like canned fruits or veggies, or even pasta. If your child is just being picky about VEGGIES, I'd say he is being normal (most babies hate stuff like green beans, because they are bitter). How does he do with other foods? Will he eat diced peaches or pears? How about cooked pasta or chicken? If he handles OTHER foods okay, I'd say he doesn't like veggies. If he still cannot handle ANY chunky textured foods, and EVERYTHING he eats is pureed, I'd maybe speak to the pediatrician about that. It could be nothing, but coupled with his difficulty with drinking out of a cup, it could be an oral motor issue, which should be watched. Remember, though, your son is still a baby. All kids are different, so he just may need a bit more time with accepting new foods/textures. Keep offering them, but if he has a violent reaction to them (gags and vomits, seems to panic when he touches it, or WON'T touch it), then have it looked into. My son with autism would not even TOUCH soft wet foods (like canned fruits, cooked pasta). He would cry if we put them in his mouth and then he would promptly gag and projectile vomit, so we knew it was more than being a picky toddler...

[SBETigg]

You're not doing anything wrong and it all takes time and patience, that's probably all. He may prefer the purees for some time yet, and that's fine. When he's interested, he'll branch out. No need to worry there. It's important that he branches out on his own pace for the food issues. Definitely try introducing new things to give him options, but in the end, he'll eat enough of what he likes and as long as he's growing and thriving, no worries.

The sippy cups can be problematic. Good for you for trying to introduce him to the cup early on. But it could be that he just can't manage it yet very well. Trial and error-- he'll catch on. What helped mine was to look for the straw cups vs the sippy cups. My son could get things up through the straws without a problem while he was still spilling a lot with the sippy cup. He just might not have the motor skills to keep the cup steady enough yet, but he will get there. Hang in there and please do not think you're doing anything wrong. It sounds like you're doing the right things and doing a wonderful job!

[MsMin]

First off you are NOT doing anything wrong. Children develop at different rates so you just can't compare his progress to a chart or where he should be.
We didn't have nipples w/ different stages but some children **** harder than others and the **** reflex doesn't disappear until about a year. Fluids are important especially as we approach the flu season. Remember if I had worried about adjusting my child to what was the "baby trend" it would be different now. Did you ever think that the stages are set by someone who is only looking at stats -- it's not black and white. Some children walk @ 9mos and others 15 and it's all NORMAL. Some are more physical in development and learn to crawl some never crawl or could be more verbal.
I prefer that the pacifier go out the window @ a year and you work on weening but there is no "magical day"

As far as solids there are some 6 yr. olds or even adults that are picky with textures. The important thing is that you introduce your child to different textures and it sounds like you are doing that.
If my memory is right then you have been preparing his own baby food right? Many children who adapt to table food do so b/c the flavor is richer and if you have been preparing his foods from your own cooking then you may need to be a little more patient. Compare a jar of baby food chicken to home broiled chicken- its no wonder many children consume it faster.
Also are his teeth in?
My advice is to be nice to Terra. I've seen pictures of your baby and he's adorable and looks very healthy and happy, :thumbsup: :hug:
We had over 1100 children that were abandoned after Katrina- not lost but rescued, brought to the transfer station and left by their parents who hopped on a bus to Houston or some other destination w/o them. :mad: I know it sounds incredible to many but I'm happy if I can get the parent to be a little concerned about their child.
Sorry Terra but when the award goes out for bad parenting you are not even close to the running.
My advice: let him give you a big hug or smile and keep mixing in new things like you are doing. Most kids are potty trained and on table food by kindergarten- enjoy this special time it goes so fast! :pixie:

[Ian]

Are you certain it's a flow issue? My son, who is also 11 1/2 months, purposely fills his mouth and then lets the liquid dribble out. He appears to take great joy in it, as a matter of fact. He dribbles it all out and then laughs like crazy.

As far as the chunky food goes, I can't relate there. My issue is getting DS to stop eating. The kid has an appetite like I've never seen!

[Terra]

Thank you for your input everyone!!!

Okay, he doesn't choke on it all the time...just every now and then...he'll drink it...but it also just pours down his chest....which is just telling me that the sippies that I have, the liquid comes out way to fast...

He'll eat some textures...like steamed broccoli as long as it's cut up small and super soft...he'll eat Lo Mein noodles, diced banans...so it's kind of split.
I think it may be a mood thing too! LOL....one day he's fine eating some cut up toast and diced bananas and other days he wants me to feed him purees...:secret:

Thank you all so much for your advice. I'll just continue to pay attention to his cues.

And oh my goodness, how heartbreaking that people would actually just leave their children!!!! [in reference to Hurrican Katrina!]

I can't ever imagine!

And oh yes, David is healthy! My little chunker is 25 lbs!!! So I know he's getting some nutrition!! lol

[Terra]

Are you certain it's a flow issue? My son, who is also 11 1/2 months, purposely fills his mouth and then lets the liquid dribble out. He appears to take great joy in it, as a matter of fact. He dribbles it all out and then laughs like crazy.

As far as the chunky food goes, I can't relate there. My issue is getting DS to stop eating. The kid has an appetite like I've never seen!


:blush: That is funny!
That may be it too! He'll guzzle away and then look at me and smile!

[mickey&missy]

I totally agree with the others, you aren't doing anything wrong!

He probably really just likes what he likes and thats it. A lot of kids are like that.

I would mention to the doctor the next time you take him. Just in case its an oral issue. My sister had a lot of problems when she was a kid, eating, drinking and then speaking. It turned out the the piece that connects your tongue to the bottom of your mouth went almost to the tip of her tongue. The doctor clipped it and she was fine!

Good luck!

[Madame Leona]

Just being concerned shows you are a wonderful parent. I used the playtex sippy cups and they worked very well at a young age. My son made a horrible mess with the straws (I think on purpose). I'm still a texture eater at 30 so I hope your son out grows it but I would get your pediatrician's opinion on the subject.

[BigRedDad]

You're a parent, you are not doing anything wrong. Eating and drinking is a game at that age. Just laugh at it and enjoy. It will end soon enough and you will look back wanting it again.

We went through the same thing with our now 22mo DD. I am not sure if it was from trial and error or she finally grew into a sippy cup. Our doctor told us to be 100% off a bottle on her first birthday. We went through the spills, chokes, and wasted liquid often. All of a sudden, one day, every thing was fine. It was about 13 months.

As for textures, it took our DD a little while to get used to them (about a month). Again, this could have just been her getting older or her learning that it was going in her mouth any way.

Just bear with it. He will grow out of it or into it quicker than you can imagine. Even if you are losing milk or juice each time, after a month it can't be more than a gallon or so. Just think, after the sippy cup comes the straw. Our DD thinks its fun to let the stuff dribble out of her mouth from the straw.

[Terra]

We went through the same thing with our now 22mo DD. I am not sure if it was from trial and error or she finally grew into a sippy cup. Our doctor told us to be 100% off a bottle on her first birthday. We went through the spills, chokes, and wasted liquid often. All of a sudden, one day, every thing was fine. It was about 13 months.

As for textures, it took our DD a little while to get used to them (about a month). Again, this could have just been her getting older or her learning that it was going in her mouth any way.

Just bear with it. He will grow out of it or into it quicker than you can imagine. Even if you are losing milk or juice each time, after a month it can't be more than a gallon or so. Just think, after the sippy cup comes the straw. Our DD thinks its fun to let the stuff dribble out of her mouth from the straw.

LOL...too funny!

Yeah, I was wondering if it might be one of those things where he WILL just "get it".....like with the pincher grasp...it seemed like he would never catch on to grab his cheerios...it was literally like one day he couldn't do it and the next he was an old pro!

[gardenia]

My son was not good at sucking, sipping, or swallowing at that age without making a mess. We found out right around 11 months that he was "tounge-tied" - the frenulum on his tounge tied it too tightly to the bottom of his mouth. This condition is usually detected at birth, but not in his case. He had out-patient surgery to correct the issue. So, next time you have a checkup, it wouldn't hurt to ask your doctor to check for this.

[DisneyDog]

As everyone has said, you aren't doing anything wrong. It took my DS (now 5) a while to figure out sippy cups. We went through different brands (and they aren't cheap) and in the end, the ones he liked the best were the Playtex disposable ones that everyone has mentioned. They are wonderful. He still uses the ones that take a straw.

Food texture is an interesting thing. That can take a while for a baby to get used to. My DS has always been sensitive to texture. Just give him time. There are still a lot of things my little guy won't eat. I figure that eventually he will learn to eat more of a variety. He still eats more different foods than most of his friends. He has one friend who will only eat peanut butter on graham crackers or chicken nuggets. That's it. Nothing else. I had a friend in college who only ate french fries or captain crunch cereal. Nothing else. That guy is now a physics teacher. So I guess his limited diet didn't hurt his brain development at all. :D

[alphamommy]

You aren't doing anything wrong. Kids do things at their own speed, even if it seems slow sometimes.

DD had a hard time getting the hang of sippy cups. She did much better with straws. She also refused to hold her own bottle. We were just looking at baby pictures last week, and I think I must have captured the one time she held her bottle on film, because I sure don't remember it happening very often.

Good luck!

[Tygger7]

My husband is 37 and STILL has texture issues! ....Maybe I'll try putting his :beer: beer in a sippy cup and see what happens. :goof:

[kakn7294]

You're not doing anything wrong - let's face it, he's a man and being neat is not a priority. Seriously, when my DD was little, she had issues with flow rates too. We had to get her sippy cups that took bottle nipples at first until she got used to the cups instead. If you can't find him something that works slow enough for him, you might just have to keep him using bottles a bit longer when you need him to be neat. Good luck to you!

[harlowandthemermaid]

You are definitely not doing anything wrong! Have you tried the Born-Free sippy? We just switched to their bottles and I plan to use their sippy as well.

[Ian]

My little chunker is 25 lbs!!! So I know he's getting some nutrition!! lolHa ha! He and Jake must be cut from the same cloth. Jake is like 27 pounds and he just turned 11 months a week ago!


My sister had a lot of problems when she was a kid, eating, drinking and then speaking. It turned out the the piece that connects your tongue to the bottom of your mouth went almost to the tip of her tongue. The doctor clipped it and she was fine!OUCH?!!?! :eek:


My husband is 37 and STILL has texture issues! ....Maybe I'll try putting his :beer: beer in a sippy cup and see what happens. :goof::rotfl:

That's me, too ;)


You're not doing anything wrong - let's face it, he's a man and being neat is not a priority.Hey now ... not all men are sloppy! I mean I am ... but not all men are!

[Terra]

You are definitely not doing anything wrong! Have you tried the Born-Free sippy? We just switched to their bottles and I plan to use their sippy as well.

Oh I just looked those up! I might have to try one!
And I wish I would have known about this company alot sooner! They even have glass bottles! I would have gotten those instead of all the plastic!


Ha ha! He and Jake must be cut from the same cloth. Jake is like 27 pounds and he just turned 11 months a week ago!

OUCH?!!?! :eek:

:rotfl:

That's me, too ;)

Hey now ... not all men are sloppy! I mean I am ... but not all men are!

Sounds like we have football players on our hands!!!

and ROFL at the rest!! I see we have some comedians on here!!! :blush:

[kakn7294]

Hey now ... not all men are sloppy! I mean I am ... but not all men are!I didn't say all men were sloppy - just that being neat isn't always at the top of the list. There's a bit of a difference! Actually, I think maybe it just sounds nicer. ;) Really though, DH is the neat one around here. My girls are slobs and I tend to have small piles of stuff here and there - but I know what's in 'em!

[conorsmom2000]

Terra, I just wanted to say what everyone has said - you are not doing anything wrong! It's all trial and error at this point and every baby develops differently, and takes to different things!

We actually had this problem with Conor, but in a different way - he was diagnosed with reflux at 4 weeks old, so he needed to put cereal in his bottle to thicken it so he would keep it down. This meant that we couldn't use bottles with holes for the flow, because the cereal would clog them - so we had to go to the ones that were slotted, but then it would come out too fast. We finally found ones from Avent that worked well, but that was after much frustration and many wardrobe changes! Luckily by the time we transitioned to the sippy cup, he no longer needed the cereal in his milk and he was already used to the flaster flow.

And he's also textured sensitive, like me, and probably always will be. Just keep trying - it will get easier! Conor was, and still is, the pickiest eater I've ever seen but we just keep trying! I can remember telling the Dr when he was 2 (I think) that the only thing he would eat was chicken nuggets. The Dr said "so keep giving him chicken nuggets, eventually he'll get bored with them". Yeah, well, he's 7 and guess what he would still eat every day if I let him? :yes: Chicken nuggets!

[minnie-mouse]

Terra,
I found that the Playtex brand sippy cups work the best. I tried many brands with my DDs as well.

As far as the food issue goes, my DD2 didn't like wet mushy foods when she started picking up foods. She would only eat foods a bit drier in texture. Instead of peaches, pears, she would eat strawberries, bananas or blueberries. I managed to get her to eat green beans and brocoli, boiled carrots, etc. Even at her age now, she won't touch macaroni and cheese, but she will eat the noodles plain. It is all about experimenting at that age.

It is all a matter of trying new things, but also don't forget toddlers need tosee a new food liek 10 times before they get used to it. I just continued to serve the same things and she eventually took to them.

It could also be that your DS is teething and some days his teeth are bothering him so he would rather have purees. Try when giving him that also putting some fingering foods in front of him as well. He might take to them better if he has a choice.

Good luck, it is a phase and it will pass..

[SAHDad]

As others have said, you're not doing anything wrong. It's possible that some of this is just an attention-getting device too. Yes, kids do this - my son (now 3 1/2) was a little ham when he was that age. And, sadly, he passed it on to his sister - she's 8 months, and will "cough" when she wants attention.

And, as others have said, all kids are different, and do things at different times. My son wanted to hold his own bottle all the time by 6 months or so, my daughter will only hold it if I make her - she will drop it on the floor in an effort to get me to hold it instead of her. Take it in stride, mention it to your pediatrician or family practitioner at the next checkup (just in case), but don't stress about it so much.

[Terra]

Thanks again everyone! :mickey:

I'll definently look into the playtex ones!

He HAS been teething ALOT lately. It's like 4 or 5 teeth are trying to come through now!

[tennantsrwe]

Hi!
I commend your efforts! I know first hand how overwhelming it can be trying to accomplish those milestones. Was your son born early? Not necessarily way premature or anything, just early? Sometimes that has a lot to do with their developmental strides. Everything catches up and evens out though...so now worries. Also, are you giving any finger food snacks? That seems to help with both coordination from tray to mouth as well as getting used to solids. As far as the sippy cup issue...have you tried the insulated sippy cups from Playtex? They are the ones that can be put in the freezer....if that helps with finding them. Anyway, the flow on those are WAY slow. And the child has to **** pretty hard to get anything out. Give them a try, they just might do the trick. Also, I know this might be hard to do, but once you decide to take away the bottle for good...stick with it. Sometimes the best way for kids to learn is to have to. No, I'm not suggesting you let him dehydrate....LOL....but he knows what to do to get that bottle back. We had to finally just decide to give sippy cups only...and get rid of all the bottles. Out of sight, out of mind! GOOD LUCK!

[Flower]

I really liked the Gerber bottles with Brandon, but the sippy attachments were horrible - don't try them! There is a small white plug that is inserted on the inside to slow flow, but if the child shakes the bottle enough the flow-valve falls out and it is a free for all for the liquid inside!

I have tried the playtex sippys with Ben and he won't take the time to ****.

Ben is great with a straw though. Yesterday at the dollar store I found a cup that has a single straw that runs from the inside of the cup, up thru the lid and wraps around the outside of the cup with the end to **** - I like it because the straw is continuous and cannot get lost.

Some of the cups with straws (Like the Playtex sports-style cup with the valve) have 2 'straws'. one on the inside and one that runs thru the lid which the inner one connects too. I have lost so many 'inner straws' with Brandon's, and the cups are expensive here in Canada (Around $8 for one). Normal straws are smaller than than the one needed - a real pain!

Let me know if you want to try the cups with straws attached that I mentioned above, my BIL is heading to LW soon for his honeymoon, so I can get some to you then, or I can just mail them!

I feel I have spent so much $$ on ****** cups - I do like the first years disposable sippy cups, spoons & straw cups, and mini containers. My other favourite is tupperware, but it gets expensive. Their small tumblers have been awesome for Brandon because he cannot get the lids off, which he can with the disposable ones. Tupperware also makes a sippy attachment which Ben will take, but because there is no flow control if he drops the cup stuff can drip out the sippy end so you have to be careful. Tupperware is expensive, but I am glad I spent the money on them!

Oh, as far as food - Ben eats EVERYTHING, hey Ian, wanna enroll Jake & Ben in an eating contest?!!!!Sorry I can't help you with that one Terra.

[Terra]

Hi!
I commend your efforts! I know first hand how overwhelming it can be trying to accomplish those milestones. Was your son born early? Not necessarily way premature or anything, just early? Sometimes that has a lot to do with their developmental strides.

Well, he was born 2 weeks before his due date. And it always seems he IS about 2 weeks to a month behind on somethings. Don't know if the 2 are connected or not. But it could be!!

Thanks Lea-Ann! I do have a straw sippy I've been teaching him that he doesn't have to tip it up like a bottle [otherwise he won't get any liquid! lol

[kakn7294]

Actually Terra, all kids develop their skills at their own rates and since we are all unique, some of us develop them better than others. Some kids walk at 8 - 9 months and others don't walk until they are almost 18 months. He may be a bit slower at grasping some things and early at others - unless he seems excessively delayed at a particular skill, don't worry about it. He's fine and perfectly normal! And certainly awfully cute!

[Terra]

Actually Terra, all kids develop their skills at their own rates and since we are all unique, some of us develop them better than others. Some kids walk at 8 - 9 months and others don't walk until they are almost 18 months. He may be a bit slower at grasping some things and early at others - unless he seems excessively delayed at a particular skill, don't worry about it. He's fine and perfectly normal! And certainly awfully cute!


THanks so much!! Yeah...that's exactly how it is with him...quick on some things...other things he takes his time...and I haven't noticed anything way off...!!

[Stitchahula]

My 4 y/o son had a hard time with eating and drinking too. He was tongue tied and had a hard time swallowing stuff pushing it back with his tongue. Once we had it clipped he had no problem at all and the difference was night and day. I'm not saying that is your little ones problem but it might be worth asking the doctor what they think. It could also just be a preference to how they like to eat/drink right now.