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wdw_bound
10-27-2007, 12:27 PM
We are all sad and disappointed at our house this weekend.

A year ago, DD9 asked MIL if she would like to go to WDW. The answer was yes. Not a qualified, some-day-that-would-be-nice yes, but a when should we go, I'd love to yes.

As a group, we decided that December would be the perfect time - lower crowds / temps, beautiful holiday decorations. DD helped plan the trip, thinking about rides that are "grandparent-appropriate," helping to decide where to make ADRs, etc. As you all know, a lot of work went into the planning.

My IL's were consulted consistantly during this time. They would talk to DD about the trip frequently.

We touched base with them several times - "We're putting down the deposit - are you 100% sure you are going?" "Let's figure out our ADRs," "We're purchasing MVMCP tickets - do you want to go to the party?" etc.

Last night, DH got a call - MIL asking him to check with DD to "see if she would be disappointed if they didn't come." Our response was that we weren't putting DD on that rollercoaster. If they wanted to cancel, they should cancel, not leave it up to a child to decide. Their major concern seemed to be having to board their dog (they didn't feel "right" asking their other son to dog-sit) and that it was a long drive.

DD is broken-hearted - she understands that sometimes things come up / change, but she is still very sad. DH is hurt - he feels very let down. I'm disappointed because I was looking forward to my kids getting some great memory-making time with their grandparents.

If there is a silver lining at all, it is that the phone call came 46 days before our trip, so at least I was able to get a refund on their portion of our package. I'm still trying to salvage ADRs - apparently you can't go from 6 to 4, you have to make a brand new reservation, assuming availability. At this short notice, there is not much left unless you want to eat supper at 9 pm.

I know it's still a Disney trip, and it will still be a good time, but right now, we're having a tough time finding the Disney magic:confused:

teambricker04
10-27-2007, 12:33 PM
Oh that is too bad!!! I can only imagine how your DD feels!!!!

This sounds like a very similar story... only we are less than a week out. Hopefully my parents will board the dog.

I hope you have fun at WDW despite this!!!

Dsnygirl
10-27-2007, 01:33 PM
I am so sorry to hear that -- I think what makes it hardest when things like that happen is watching our childrens' reactions. :( I'm sorry your DD is so disappointed - I'm sure mine would react the same way, too. Maybe you can find something to add in to the trip just for her to boost her up a little??

As far as your ADR's - if they aren't ones that you already paid for, or would have to pay for the 2 missing people, could you just leave them as an ADR for 6, and just show up as a foursome, or is that not allowed? I'm sure that they could use those 2 extra seats for folks showing up last minute, looking to get in.

Good luck - I'm sure it will work out okay!

MsMin
10-27-2007, 01:41 PM
Its so sad. I understand having 4 dogs and b/c mine have gotten sick boarding in Dec. 06 & 05. I know the feelings I felt before we leaving 3 weeks ago and thinking why did I plan this but we did it and had a great time and they all did fine at the vet.
More so, I remember when my grandmother cancelled our trip when I was 10. I was heartbroken b/c we were supposed to go w/ them to DL and it was our first trip. She came the day before and said that if we weren't packed right now they were going w/o us (my brother and I) and they left :crying:. Who does that??
Sad for them too b/c I know you will still have a great time w/o them and it is their loss b/c they are missing out on an opportunity that will bring warm and loving memories in the years ahead. I bet they don't know how much they have hurt everyone. Sending :pixie: for a magical trip. So sorry they backed out.

michelle and warren
10-27-2007, 01:44 PM
We usually travel in a large party (part of DH family lives in FL) and we sometimes show up with less and it's never been a problem. Unless it's one of those one's that you pay in advance for, keep the current reservation and just say that 2 of your party are not coming, I doubt that you will get turned away

AbeeNormal
10-27-2007, 02:16 PM
I feel so bad for your little girl not to mention your poor husband.:sob:

Maybe giving your daughter a camera to take pictures during her trip to show her grandparents the great time you all had would be some healing for you daughter and an eye opening experience for the in-laws.:photo:

Have a wonderful time and here's to hoping a "Dream come True" YOMD finds your family at WDW:pixie::pixie::pixie:

BugeyedMuggy
10-27-2007, 02:44 PM
[QUOTE=wdw_bound;ADRs - apparently you can't go from 6 to 4, you have to make a brand new reservation, assuming availability. At this short notice, there is not much left unless you want to eat supper at 9 pm.

Don't know how this will go but we had a group of 8 people in May and my nephew got really sick. He was with us so I stayed back from our ADR. When the rest checked in they said there was only 6 due to illness. Maybe keep them the way they are and check in with the amt. you have. I would change the ones with deposits tho.

wdw_bound
10-27-2007, 03:17 PM
Thanks, everyone for your support - it really is helping :mickey:

I'm feeling really guilty about not cancelling two spots in our ADR plan, but honestly, I'm having a heck of a time finding replacements, and having to eat CS because we can't get ADRs when we're on the DDP would be terrible. I haven't cancelled the original ADRs yet, and none of them require deposits. I'm still working on getting things changed, though.

MsMin, I think you understand the situation beautifully - it really is their loss, but I'm not sure they'll ever get that. :(

I can't make it not hurt, but I can do everything in my power to make it a great trip - and Intercot is the perfect place to get ideas for that :mickey:

mttafire
10-27-2007, 04:47 PM
If my mother in law cancelled a trip with me to Disney id throw a party!!:blush: Seriously though, Once you get to the "World" All will be PERFECT in a 9y.o.'s eyes.:thumbsup:

wdw_bound
10-27-2007, 05:03 PM
If my mother in law cancelled a trip with me to Disney id throw a party!!:blush: Seriously though, Once you get to the "World" All will be PERFECT in a 9y.o.'s eyes.:thumbsup:

MTA - thanks for making me, literally, laugh out loud!

The funny part of all of this is when DD first asked MIL, I felt like I was in that granola bar commercial - the one where the parents want to stick a chewy bar in the kids mouth before they say something that will get the adult into hot water? But after all the planning and thinking about the memories my kids will have with their grandparents, I'm as sad as DH and DD.

faline
10-27-2007, 05:06 PM
I'm so sorry that you in-laws have chosen to lose out on this valuable time with their grandchild.

Have a fabulous vacation, regardless!

mttafire
10-27-2007, 05:39 PM
MTA - thanks for making me, literally, laugh out loud!

The funny part of all of this is when DD first asked MIL, I felt like I was in that granola bar commercial - the one where the parents want to stick a chewy bar in the kids mouth before they say something that will get the adult into hot water? But after all the planning and thinking about the memories my kids will have with their grandparents, I'm as sad as DH and DD.
Completely understand.

Fairy Grandmother
10-27-2007, 07:33 PM
May I go, pleeease? I'll be your daughter's grandmother for the trip. :cloud9: ;)

What a shame that your inlaws are missing this opportunity to make some wonderful memories with your family. To be more concerned about their dogs and the long drive is inexcusable! At least you have learned something from this. I am sure in the future you will go out of your way to not let them have any opportunities to hurt your daughter's feelings again.

I hope you and your family have a wonderful time. Being at WDW in December is the best time of year. Take lots of pictures to remember your trip. :photo::santa::santa2::tree:

vamaggie
10-27-2007, 08:50 PM
To be more concerned about their dogs and the long drive is inexcusable!

This was my thought exactly. Your MIL was choosing her dog ( a DOG!!) over her granddaughter. I'm not sure I would be able to get over this fact so you are a much better person than I am! Especially when she built it up in your DD's mind that G'ma was into coming. Did she just get her dog? Just realize how far WDW is? I'm sorry but I have a real hard time with grandparents who do stuff like this to innocent kids. It is so sad that grown adults (who have been on this planet long enough to experience some real hurt I'm sure) could do this to a child they supposedly love.

I hope you and your DH & DD have a fantastic, magical time on your trip. Make some special family memories and let DD see how fun it can be with you and dad!

jpH/keD
10-27-2007, 10:44 PM
I am so sad for your DD. I am sorry they backed out! We asked my parents when planning too however they said no right off the bat. I tried all the memory stuff too and they were set. They said we took you as kids and now we are done. They hate driving and they hate flying so it was a clear no! However, My mil had originally said no and now she is coming! My fil is not coming! He opted out in the beginning too! Like another poster said when you get to the World all will be right! Make your own serious magic w/ your DD and all will be well! Enjoy!:mickey:

illini
10-28-2007, 12:24 AM
I'm so, so sorry. My heart is breaking for you.

But in good news-- I think we might be related, at least by marriage! Our husbands must be long lost brothers. We haven't had this happen with a Disney trip, but only because we know never to ask since this would be the ultimate outcome.

Cracking up about the granola bars. When I read about her asking her grandma, it induced panic in ~me~! Can only imagine how you felt.

You're a fabulous mommy and a great daughter-in-law. You've handled it much better than I would have in this situation.

Tink's Mom
10-28-2007, 06:47 AM
Awwww! That's just awful. Don't worry though, you are going to have a magical trip. We asked my MIL & FIL if they would meet us on our upcoming trip, and when we called them the next week, they did not even mention it. Acted as though we never even talked about it! I only let it bother me for a short time, because I realized that they are the ones missing out. Just to add in, mttafire's comment made me laugh out loud also! You go have a great trip. Remember, you will be at the happiest place on earth! :mickey:

LibertyTreeGal
10-28-2007, 09:17 AM
I am so sorry, how disappointing! I hope you'll be able to get your ADR's fixed with no problems :(

Marker
10-28-2007, 12:34 PM
My first thoughts as I read you post were directed toward the child.

You know, I have no doubt that she's sad and disappointed. However, to try to look for the silver lining, it's also a life lesson. Disappointment is a part of life, learning how to deal with it is a valuable life skill. Think of it as a learning opportunity, and move on.

Attitude is everything. Don't allow your frustration with the situation become your daughter's. Let her deal with here issues with the situation, but not yours. And don't let it get you down. In the end, it'll be a great trip, regardless of how the details work out. At least it will be if you allow it to be. Just don't dwell on it. Face the disapponitment, and deal with the frustration now, then let it go and move on. After all, you're going to Disney World.

Frankly, I'd love to have to deal with planning a trip.... but we don't even have one on our radar at the moment.

crazeedizneefinatic
10-28-2007, 03:19 PM
This was my thought exactly. Your MIL was choosing her dog ( a DOG!!) over her granddaughter. I'm not sure I would be able to get over this fact so you are a much better person than I am!

I feel the same way, even though I am an animal lover. It's horrible she feels more emotion about her dog than her Grandaughter! Maybe she does not realize it maybe it's not even the excuse, who knows. Maybe they ran into some money problems and the excuse about the dog was easier to say but it is sending a terrible message to your daughter. I would address it with her, privately of course, maybe she is just oblivious about how much this trip would mean or the message she is sending. I do also believe disappointment is all part of life. The world is not perfect and disappointment needs to be learned. But in this case it could have been avoided. If the story is true about not wanting to leave the dog it is sending a message that the dog is more important than your child. In this case it's not disappointment but down right rudeness and coming from her Grandmother it probably hurts worse. Your daughter probably thinks her Grandma values her dog more than her. Very very sad on Grandmas part IMO.

PAYROLL PRINCESS
10-28-2007, 09:01 PM
I too think your MIL is just being inconsiderate. Unless she had a real reason this was inexcusable. But it's her loss. Because you guys will go and have a fantastic time without them.
Keep the ADR's as is. We had one of our party back out at the last minute and we just let them know when we got to the restaurant. Chances are they don't already have you assigned to a certain table, so they can just give you an appropriate sized table when you check in. So you won't really be prohibitting someone from getting a table, but rather opening up a table for a walk up couple.

cal5755
10-28-2007, 09:37 PM
I agree one hundred percent that it is their loss. It is sad that they wont even realize it though. I would take tons of pictures to show the in laws. I am very sorry you guys were disappointed by your in - laws.

Since you were able to get a refund of their portion of the trip.... I would definately treat your dd to a trip to the BBB or something just as special and magical in Disney.

When we went on our trip in September I did enchanted calls for each one of my kids. I had 3 cell phones ringing all at the same time and
DS 12 got a call from Mickey, DD 8 got a call from JAsmine and DD 4 got a call from Cinderella wishing them a great trip. Maybe you could do something like that for her too!
You can see it here (I hope this works I am not good at this stuff lol).
https://secure.uvoxnetworks.com/disney/affhome.html?affno=66

I know you will all have a great trip regardless... all the magic will be there as you count down the final days and finally get to Disney!! Have fun!!

Tink#64
10-29-2007, 11:14 PM
I'm sure the last minute change for your family trip is very disappointing. Enjoy all that you can & just remember to have a wonderful time & not let it put a damper on your trip once you get there. That would be a shame for all.

We have had the exact opposite problem! My DM ( & once also DB, his DG & her DD!) has waited until the 11th hour to decide she wanted to go with us on both of our last two trips. I've scrambled to buy airline tix, make more reservations, Luckily able to get her/(them) at the same resort at such late notice & have had to change all of ADR's. Luckily by splitting up the large party of 8 into 2 groups we were able to stay in my original time frame & still eat at least in the same restaurants at the same time, even if not all together! Apparently you can show up with a different number of guests than planned, at least at some restaurants. We had made 2 seperate adr's for groups of 4, because DM was part of new group of 4 with DB & his DG & her DD, 3 of of the second group late to arrive, we didn't think they were coming, O'Hana's CM's were fantastic! They sat DM with the 4 of us & when DB & others showed up a short while later they were still able to seat them at the next table! I was blown away! I would never take advantage or assume, but you may be able to keep the most important adr's & beg off for the missing guests?

Good Luck, I know it's very difficult to change gears after sooooo much planning!:thumbsup:

brownie
10-30-2007, 10:42 AM
Sorry to hear that. Don't cancel your ADRs, just tell them there'll only be 4 of you when you check in at the restaurant.

laprana
10-30-2007, 11:48 AM
I'm so sorry this happened to you and your family! I agree with everyone who says you shouldn't cancel your ADRs. I can't see the restaurants turning your family away just because 2 people aren't there! We've been to several places when we've seen people checking in for their ADRs, and when the CM asks if the whole party is there they say, "no, we only have 3 (or however many) tonight." I've never seen anyone turned away for that!

Maybe you could do some things for your DD to help get her mind off of her grandparents not going, and to get her really excited for the trip. You could make a daily calendar and have a daily countdown, where everyday she gets to tear off a day and see how many days are left till the trip! Or you could send her a letter or e-mail from "Mickey" saying he can't wait to see her when she gets to WDW! How about making a reservation at the BBB for her to get dressed up as the princess of her choice during your trip?

Whatever happens, have a great trip and just focus on the good memories your going to make with your DH and kids!! :mickey:

crazypoohbear
10-30-2007, 01:39 PM
You should be "grateful" that your MIL "threw you a bone" and chose the dog over family!
At least she did it in time for you to get your money back.
I feel sorry for your daughter because she will always feel that "grammy loves the dog more than me"
I would give your DD a camera and let her take tons of pictures and bring them back to show grammy "this is what you could have done with me if you came!" By the way grammy, how's the dog doing?? :thedolls:
I do not understand how or Why people put their animals ahead of family :confused:

bleukarma
10-30-2007, 02:11 PM
I’m a huge animal lover but I also wouldn’t chose my dog (who I value like he’s my son!) over WDW! I too have had anxieties about leaving my dog, but unless that week would potentially kill him then I think the dog will get over it the second I get back. In the end, family is more important. A vacation to WDW doesn’t happen everyday. I also agree with giving your DD a camera and everybody take tons of pictures and make sure you show them ALL to the grandparents when you get back. :thedolls:
Also, with the extra money maybe plan a surprise for your DD to cheer her up. Or maybe sit her down and tell her to pick something extra that she would like to do. Little extra’s tend to cheer little hearts up! Make sure to remind her how much she is loved. Once you guys get to WDW, it won’t matter.
I also agree with not worrying about the ADR’s. Just show up with 2 less people.

mousetrapper
10-31-2007, 11:34 AM
How disappointing! We had a similar thing happen to us, although my MIL still went on the trip, she just didn't have her heart in it and it became very apparent that she just did not want to be there.

I think she said she'd go without really thinking it through. I understand that she probably didn't feel like running around the parks and riding the rides, but I thought she could put that aside just to be with her granddaughters. Or just don't say yes to begin with!

Plus, she had been talking for years about taking the girls to WDW. We finally invited her to go on a trip we were planning after her husband died.

The shame of it is that my DDs will always remember that trip as one of their least favorites because their grandmother really brought everyone down.

DisneyDudet
10-31-2007, 12:16 PM
My grandparents have been to Disney World twice with me, and once on a Disney Cruise. Not because they paid for it and I didn't have to pay, but because they are a huge part of my life.

Their philosophy, is, they are getting older, and traveling may not be an option years down the road. When they are stuck at home, they will have plenty of time with the dogs.

It is very sad that she thinks that her dog is more important. Does she not trust the person taking care of the dog?

All I know is, the will regret not going when she is unable to do so.

I have the best grandparents in the world, and doing that would not even enter their heads, even though their dogs are their world.

I'm so sorry this has happened to your family and your DD. What about taking her to BBB one day, and getting the portraits done? She'll feel like a princess!

I hope you can change your plans, and if not, I hope they are understanding at the TS restaurants.