Public, Private or Homeschooling?

[mjaclyn]

When I was young, we all went to public school, K-12...it was the norm. Once in a great while I'd meet some children who were homeschooled, but they were few and far between. Now that I'm a mom, it seems like SO MANY parents are choosing to homeschool their children! My DD is only 1 yo, but my friends with children around the same age have already decided to homeschool them! I almost feel like a bad parent for not wanting to take the same route. Yes, the violence in schools has definitely taken a turn for the worse since I went to school, but I'm not sure that homeschooling is the answer for my DD. I would definitely look into a private school - but if that doesn't turn out to be an option, I'm worried about sending her to public school.

Just to be a little more clear on my thoughts of homeschooling - I have nothing against it at all. I think it's definitely necessary for some children - a friend of mine has twin boys and a daughter who have severe allergies to just about everything. She homeschools all three of them because of that. Another friend of mine will be able to be a stay at home mom when the time comes for her DD to go to school, so she prefers to homeschool her. Presently I work fulltime - three days from home and two days in the office - if that continues there is no way I'll be able to homeschool DD and work at the same time. Besides that, I enjoyed school when I was younger - I'd like to give DD the chance to make friends her age and participate in classes that I may not be qualified to teach her (ex. music, art, etc). That being said, I'm beginning to think that public school may not be the answer for her either. Violence, bullying, inapropriate relationships between students & teachers...etc. all of that has greatly increased since I went to school. What has been your experience with public, private or homeschooling? What has worked out the best for your children?

[RenDuran]

We have a lot of friends that homeschool, but a vast majority send their kids to small parochial schools. That's what my husband and I ended up doing....and I'm one of the most unreligious people you could ever meet, but I liked the school's small class size and curriculum.

I had always thought I'd homeschool my daughter when the time came, but she was so extremely introverted, school seemed like a good idea to bring her out of her shell. It worked wonders. She's smart, head-strong, and has learned to deal with a multitude of personalities.

The kids here that go to public school seem to be pretty nice kids and most go to good colleges. I guess it's just what you're comfortable with.

[vicster]

My kids had positive experiences in public schools and went on to college. I know it's a different world out there with all the bad things happening in public schools but I truly think kids need that interaction with their peers. I also know someone who sent their kids to a parochial high school and they said drugs in that school were rampant. I guess it's hit or miss. I myself would never feel qualified to educate my children at home.

[Dsnygirl]

Well, I know this can be a pretty controversial topic, as everyone feels that their choice for their child is the best one overall. But, if this were true, we'd all be doing the same thing! I've found that the best answer is listening to your heart on what you feel is best for your child individually - you'll know as your DD gets older what her personality is like, what she needs and thrives on, and whether or not homeschooling, attending a private school or going to the local public school is best for her.

That being said - we've done both private and public schooling for our daughters, and have positive & negative things to say about both. We never considered homeschooling b/c of my work schedule (I work 3 nts/wk 7p-7a as a nurse) and I know that it wouldn't be a good fit for our family. Our girls are very social and really enjoy all the interaction they have w/ their friends, and I enjoy having some time to myself to get my own things done, as well as having some personal time. I also know some families who homeschool, they love it and wouldn't do it any other way! But, the mom stays home full-time, the dad gets home around 2:30 every day and helps w/ certain subjects/projects, and they are very active w/ their local homeschooling group.

As far as the public/private school issue, our girls went to a private Christian school for the past 4 years. (Well, DD9 did... DD6 was only there for k'garten) We loved it, loved the families there, loved the fact that they were learning about God and the Bible integrated in with their nornal studies. The fact that they could pray together and the love the teachers showed was phenomenal. For the grades they were in, the academics were good, and our DD9 was able to be in a few accelerated classes. A small part of the decision was also that we lived in a school district that was just huge, and had a lot of problems. So, we weren't wild about the thought of them being there, period.

We moved last spring to a new town, one with a very good academic standing in the community, small schools and very good programs. We also took a good, hard look at our finances, and decided that although the spiritual side of their education was terrific, that was also a responsibility placed on us as their parents, and shouldn't be the sole reason they're in a Christian school. Financially, we knew it would be beneficial to have them attending the local schools, and once we researched them, we felt very comfortable sending them there, and they've been doing great! Yes, we miss certain things about their old school, but some of the things they've gained at the public school academically far outweigh what we miss, and in today's day and age, we feel that they're getting what they need to do well in the future. Certainly, they'll be exposed to a lot more "junk" than they would have been, but the school system seems to be handling these topics well, and at an early age, so they are ready to handle them when it comes about -- and they involve the parents in the process, so we aren't feeling "out in left field" about things. I feel confident (at this point, at least) that my girls will be stronger as adults if they learn to say no and deal w/ what the real world hands them now, than being thrown into it at a much older age and having had no exposure. (Now, that being said, we totally leave the door open to return them to the Christian school, should things change in the school system, etc.!) We also know that things go on in the private schools, as well -- but to pay what we were paying for an academic program that we felt wouldn't be as strong as they got older, and have them exposed to similar stuff as the local schools - well, it just didn't make sense, at least not for now.

So - now that I've rambled on for a VERY long post - I guess the bottom line is, listen to your heart. As your DD grows older, you'll be able to see what she needs, and you'll know yourself better, and what you need, as well. Every parent I've talked to, whether homeschooling, doing the public school thing or the private school, has spent long hours making their decision and in the end, is very comfortable and happy with it. I'm sure you'll do the same!! Good luck! :thumbsup:

[offwego]

Catholic school here (which is public a long long story)..but we have done public school as well.

With just one child I'm not sure homeschooling would be for us but I think it's an amazing thing when parents can commit to it.

[Disneyatic]

Our daughter goes to a small Catholic private school. We were not happy/satisfied with the public elementary school that she would have gone to and with the cost of after school care, we would have been paying almost as much just for that as we do for her private education. Plus, there is a community center 1 block from her school that the teachers walk them to each day after school for their after school program and it is only $25 a month!

I like that she is being educated in an environment where religion is allowed and her school is very diverse which we feel is a great advantage in experience for her in today's world.
Her school only has 1 class per grade and her classes have normally been small (about 18 kids) but this year they have 23 students in her class!
One of the only problems I have with her school (and it's a problem at alot of the private Catholic schools in our area) is that the pay scale is not as high as public teachers and they have alot of turnover. I wish this was different.

[merlinmagic4]

You know who I would ask about homeschooling? Kids who have done it and have now moved onto college (or another adult venture). I would be interested to find out how they felt about it.

My kids go to public schools but we live in a really nice part of the world and, although we have our share of problems, I have no hesitation about sending my kids everyday.

I went to Catholic high school myself and, looking back, would not necessarily think that was a better choice but, then again, my kids are young yet and we are not facing those kinds of issues right now.

It's such a highly individual choice and I admire the parents who take the time to really figure out what is best for the CHILD. I think if the parent is really doing what is best for that individual child, whatever you choose will work out fine.

Good luck on one of many, many tough decisions we face a parents!

[alphamommy]

Our daughter went to a very small private Montessori school for preschool and kindergarten. It was FABULOUS! She loved it, and so did we.

We weren't thrilled with the public schools in that area (which is why she did K at the Montessori), and we lived 40 miles from DH's job. The goal was to move before first grade.

The school district in the town where Dh works is very good, so we moved last summer to that area. We are now only 3 miles from DH's work, and the school is great.

Many of my friends in our previous town told me I should homeschool, mainly because they didn't want us to move. Since DD is an only child, we thought it was important for her to have the social contact with other kids. Besides that, I don't have the patience to homeschool. I have many relatives that do it, most for religious reasons. It just wasn't a good fit for us.

Good luck!
Tammy

[medic9016]

We have done private, public and now homeschool. We are in the second year of homeschooling our 13 yo DD. We really like it. I agree it is not for everyone. You really have to do what is best for you and your children. Our state mandates the subjects and we choose our curriculum that works for us. The flexablity works well for us. My DD still plays competitive softball and is active in the Girl Scouts. When we made the choice to homeschool, we were told by her previous teachers of all the thing she would miss out on and the social skills that she would not develope. She has not missed a beat.

[SBETigg]

It depends on the schools in your area. Investigate. There are all kinds of free services now that provide stats on your area schools. Ask a Realtor in your area, they can steer you in the right direction and they're always glad to help even if you aren't in the market to buy or sell. Also, visit the schools. Call ahead and ask if you can come in and speak to the principal or a representative and meet some teachers. They are willing to do this, too, and it helps you get a sense of where your child may go to school.

Homeschooling for me was never an option. I'm a homebody and I love to keep to myself. From what I've seen, social interaction outside the home is key to successful homeschooling because they miss so much of the social learning without going outside home to school. I know that I would not get the kids out and do the necessary interacting without the school to lure me out and give kids the opportunities to be with kids. So, if you're lively and social, and actually good with teaching, go for it. But if you're not academically inclined in your own right or if you are not all that social, it's probably not a good idea to consider home-schooling. The right choice for you is up to you and the only way to make an informed decision is to investigate your area schools.

My area public schools are phenomenal, so it was an easy choice for me. It's not always this easy, and I understand your dilemma. Best wishes with it.

[#1donaldfan]

I guess it really depends on your location. For us it's public school all the way. The kids learn so much through the interaction with others and I see it as part of the growing process. As parents we try to do the best we can and teach our kids right and wrong. I love it when our kids play sports for the school and excell in doing so. You just can't teach that at home. Public schools are potentially dangerous, but so is a Wal-Mart or shopping mall. I don't know what I'd do if I lived in a big city, maybe do the same thing as some of the others mentioned and do the home schooling. I just think the kids miss out on so much not interacting daily with those their own age....

[Tygger7]

As others have said, this can be a very touchy subject. I can relate my experiences and reasoning, which I hope will help shed some light on the subject.

Even before our daughter was born, my husband and I talked about homeschooling. I grew up in public schools and hated it. I was bored out of my head and never challenged. My husband was sent to Christian schools beginning his freshman year. He went to 3 different Christian schools and hated them all. (In fact, one school he went to is all over the local news for hiring 2 teachers that had been charged with sex crimes against children, but I digress.)

By the time our daughter was born and old enough for school, we had moved to a small farming community. Since we both work full time, we could not get our daughter to even the closest Christian school, which is 20+ miles away. On top of that, the cost to send her to a private school was outrageous. The cheapest tuition we found was over $4000 per school year, and ran as high as $7900 (in 2003). Even if I could get her there, the cost was out of the question.

So we decided to give the small town school a try. Kindergarten through 3rd grade was fine, no problems other than quite often our daughter was bored. The teachers "enriched" her day by having her tutor other kids. Needless to say, it helped the teachers more than it helped her. Then came 4th grade.

This is where things went south, and fast. I won't bore you with all the details, but suffice it to say the school overstepped their boundaries. There was a "squabble" among my dauther and 3 other little girls. Any of you that have girls know what I"m talking about. The whole, "I don't want to play with you", "So & so doesn't like you", "if you're friends with her, you can't be friends with me", etc. Typical little girl stuff on the playground. No violence, nobody hurting anybody, but normal kid stuff.

One day, my daughter got home and asked if she could call one of the kids in her class to get the homework assignment. I asked her why she didn't write it down while she was in class, and she responded that she wasn't in class when the assignment was given. So naturally, I asked where she was. To my horror, she said that she was in "counseling" with the school psychologist along with 3 other little girls, and had to go 3-5 times per week for an hour at a time. At NO TIME did the school notify me, or ask permission to send her to these sessions. I told my daughter that she was no longer to attend these sessions, and sent a note to the teacher saying the same, and requesting a meeting. The meeting with the teacher accomplished nothing, other than to get the "counseling" stopped. The teacher said she didn't notify us because "she didn't think we'd mind". I told her I did mind, and that before the school made any other decisions regarding my daughter, that they were to notify me first.

I wish I could say the problems ended there, but they didn't. There were problems from the superintendent on down. My husband and I were both fed up and started looking for options.

Even thought we both worked full time, our only feasible option was homeshoooling. Fortunately, my parents live close and agreed to monitor our daughter. We decided to home school her through a Christian school & program based in Florida. What sold us on this program was that they offered a "DVD Program", which was classes filmed at their school every day that my daughter watched, with my mom supervising. Total cost was only $1150 per school year, and we received all the text books needed, as well as the DVD's. It was like she was sitting in class with the other kids, and she loved it. We did this for 4 years, and I can tell you it was a lifesaver for my daughter. She was able to go through her "tweens" without all the distractions & peer pressure, and is a solid, well-rounded, and VERY social kid. We focused her social activities through church programs, and she flourished.

She just went back to high school this year, and it was extremely tough for me to let her go. We've run into problems with the school already, but are working through them. She is way ahead of the other kids, both academically and socially, and doesn't let the "popularity contest" bother her. She is who she is, and if people don't like it, that's their problem.

Sorry for the long winded post. I just wanted to provide some perspecitve on someone who's had some experience with all three. :) We've referred several families to this program, and all the kids have had a fantastic experience. Not only has our daughter benefited, but it's allowed us to spend more time together and we've learned a lot on the way too.

[Mickey'sGirl]

You have to investigate all the options in your area. I am sure the school systems vary from region to region. Thankfully, we live in a nice area, and have an internationally recognized Public School system. Knowing this, when DS9 was old enough, we sent him to a Private Montessori School instead. I was familiar with the methods, I was excited for the opportunities that would be presented for him there, and he would still be exposed to the diverse cultures of our area. Tuition was $15,000.00 per year, but we had only one child and he was worth it. He was fine from 18 months until he was just over 3 -- When his undiagnosed autistic tendencies became more evident. The short of it was that he was expelled from the school, because he was disruptive to the routine and the supports weren't in place to help him along (we still did not know that he was autistic). We were devastated and "settled" on sending him to our local public school.

As it turns out, it is the best thing to have ever happened to him. Without hijacking your thread, our Public School had the programs and people in place to support his still undiagnosed self. They have helped to put us on to other services and professional and kept us involved in his scholarly life. DS9 is in a fully supported, fully integrated mainstream Grade 4 class...and I don't know that he would have had such success without the constant backing of his Public School.

My brother on the other hand, lives in London England, and sends his children to an Anglican Church School, because the Public Schools in their area are so rough and academically lacking. I really think that location will have an enormous impact on whether you want your child to attend a Public School or not.

[MNNHFLTX]

We've lived in two very good public school districts during my son's academic years so far (which was the main reason we moved to those areas) and I feel that my son has received a very good education in them. Because we've always had open discussions with him about things like safety and drugs and alcohol, we have a basic trust in his abilities to make sound decisions, whatever his environment.

Both my sister and brother enrolled their kids in a small parochial school for their K-8 years. There were some transition issues for a couple of them when they entered the public school system in 9th grade, but they worked them out. And I have some friends who have homeschooled their children their entire lives and I know it works well for them too.

Bottom line, as many have said, it is what your comfortable with and what you can work with that counts. I can say with 99% confidence that all the kids I have written about have turned out (or are turning out) to be well-adjusted young adults, no matter what option they were educated under. And that is most likely due, IMO, to having parents that cared enough to think about what was best and then became involved in the process.

[Marker]

You are correct in being concerned about "Violence, bullying, inapropriate relationships between students & teachers...etc.", but understand too that being in a private school or a public school does not isolate you from such things. That sort of unfortunate thing can happen in both public and private schools as well. We always need to be diligent, and keep our eyes and ears open and aware. Also, the cases of such behavior you hear about typically make up a handful of incidents that get lots of press (and justifiably so) while there are literally millions of children in public and private schools who don't have unfortunate issues such as these.

I myself am the product of 8 years of Catholic education followed by 4 years at a public high school. My children, 3 of them, are all the product of public education.

School districts are different, there are good and bad, there are exceptional and horrendous. I am lucky to live in an area with an exceptional school district. As someone said, investigate. But don't just look at teachers and principals, look at parents too. A major factor in the success of a school district is the level of parental involvement. School is not a place to drop the kids off, and they magically learn everything they'll ever need to know, with no input from parents. On the contrary, school is (or at least should be in my opinion) a partnership with the parents. While my kids were in school, we KNEW their teachers; we KNEW their principals; we KNEW the superintendent. We asked the teacher how we could help. We have a very strong PTA presense in our community, and we were very active in it, and still are to some extent. To me, that sort of involvement was a major ingredient in the success of not only our children, but all the children of our community. We worked with the teacher and the school. We did not approach them as adversaries. Sure, there were time we took issue, or disagreed with something, but we worked with them to understand and work it out. In my opinion, attitude means a lot. Both on the parent's side, as well as the school's side. However, I believe that if you are in a school district with an active and involved parent community, many issues can be avoided. And when they fail to be avoided, can be much more easily worked out.

I am obviously a proponent of public education. I have nothing against homeschooling, if it's done right. Unfortunately, I don't believe that just because someone is a good parent, they are necessarily a good educator. Sure, some are, but some (I'd dare say many, or if not most) are not. Not that the children will necessarily suffer, but perhaps it is not the "best" they could have experienced. (just my opinion) I think that unless extreme care is taken, a child's socialization skills can suffer. And while you may be able to avoid some issues and situations, you also miss the opportunity for the children to learn to cope with such issues, and how to best deal with them. I will NEVER be a proponent of bullying, but there is something to be learned from it. There is something to be learned from disappointment and confrontation. There is something to be learned from not getting your own way. I know kids who were very well served by homeschooling, and for whom it was verly likely the absolute best choice. Likewise I know some who were not well served. Sure, they were educated with knowledge and facts, but life skills are not as developed.

My suggestion would be not to fear public education, but to investigate what is available in your area. What sort of funding does your district have? How well is the staff paid? What level of turnover does your district experience? How does your district rank on statewide assessments? How does your district compare with neighboring districts in these areas? Does your district have a parent involvement plan (it should). Is there an active Parent base, is there an active PTA presence? Many areas actually have pre-school PTA units so parents can actually get their foot in the door before their children are in school.

There are nearby school districts where I would not choose to educate my children, but there are others who I know excel at it. And in my opinion, it's the parents, and their level of involvement that makes a huge difference. I'm lucky to have moved to the community I did 26 years ago before any of my children were born, but I was smart to stay and keep my kids in a quality school district.

Sorry this was long, but it's kind of a passion of mine.

[Maleficent's Dad]

I'm very impressed with this post and the way it's being handled. As stated several times above, this can be a touchy/contoversial subject. Good job by all those who have responded! :thumbsup: :rocks:

I am a product of private school (Catholic education). One thing I swore was that I would never send my kids to private school. I always wished I had attended school with my neighborhood friends growing up. So when looking for a house, DW and I were very careful about where we bought; we are now very happy with the schools (public) that our children attend.

Where we live, a lot of money (read: taxes!) are pumped into the schools. IMHO, private schools really can't compete. The services and technology found in our elementary schools can compare to universities and corporations at times! It's really amazing. Nevermind the high school and middle school levels.

We never really considered homeschooling our kids, but I have immense respect for those who do it and are committed to it. It's a rather difficult job, I'm sure, juggling parenting and schooling at the same time.

We're advocates for the youth and public schools, but we're also open-minded enough to realize that there are options. Just make sure you choose what's best for you and your child!

As stated previously, I'm not sure that public schools are any more dangerous than any other public area (malls and the such). The media adds much fuel to this, highlighting school violence. It's a shame they don't always focus on the amazingly good things going on in schools.

Are public schools perfect? Not even close.
Private schools? Nah.
Home schooling? Perfect? Nope.
But all have their benefits.
Choose what works for you; and be involved with your child's education, no matter what path you choose!
And good luck with whatever you do! :mickey:

[kakn7294]

We send our girls to public school. We live an a good district for our area so we're comfortable with that decision. I wouldn't choose private school and pay tuition unless we were in a bad district. Homeschooling wouldn't work for us since I don't have the appropriate time to devote to schooling them - I work full-time nights. I also don't think it would work well for us as DD's and I often get frustrated with each other when it comes to homework. Besides, I have to admit that I like having my days free when they're at school and I definately need the break from them. There are good and bad things about all 3 options. I agree that there is more violence in schools than when we were younger but it's in both public and private schools. It requires a greater effort on your part to home school and you will be with your child 24/7. Do your research and see what the schools in your area are like and look at yourself and your relationship with your DD to decide what is best for your family. And remember, you can always change your mind later if things don't work out.

[DizneyRox]

In general, public school systems are better suited to handle many of todays educational needs. They have to, it's the law.

The probelm it, is depends on where you live. If you don't like the school system in your area, then it may be time to move. Your tax dollars are paying for that system.

I have seen many parents that think that private schools are better, just because they are private. That is often NOT the case. My experience has shown that they are good at handling your average students. They are ill equipped to handle those that are exceptional (good and bad).

And I agree with Marker that probably many of those homeschooling aren't the greatest educators. Teachers go through all sorts of training, real school as well as professional development throughout the year. Sure there are many folks that shouldn't be teaching anymore, and I think the push to get them out by offering early retirement incentives, etc is a good thing.

So, my vote would be for public schools in a good school system. You may need to move to a new school system though. There are all sorts of benefits to moving to "better" area besides the schools, so don't think of that as being the only plus.

[thrillme]

Home schooling can be wonderful if it's done right. I have several friends who have home schooled their children and they have done fabulous work.

My dear husband passed away just before my son was to begin kinder. There was no way I could possibly ever consider home schooling because I had to work. Even if I didn't HAVE to work I "personally" wouldn't be able to home school because I can't organize a box of crayons and it took me 2 years to teach the dog to sit. But...that's just me. I know of plenty of people who are amazing.

Private schools often have just as many problems as public schools but...they're not as big. Unfortunately they can be quite costly and the cost doesn't just stop at the tuition.

For me it worked out like this:

I checked out the public school in my area...fortunately it was a WONDERFUL school with teachers I fell in love with. My son is very outgoing and he gets "energized" by being around people.

I live in a big city so there are private schools all over the place but of course they cost money (money I'd rather save to send him to college). IF he ever appears to be in a situation where I am really uncomfortable with his grades, his friends, his attitude, his quality of education. Then I wouldn't hesitate to look into a private school.

My vote is check out the school in your area. Have the principal show you around and see what you think. If you're unhappy THEN look into your options.

[Marker]

... his quality of education.

Speaking of "quality of education", before jumping into a private school, look into the laws of your state. Private schools are not held up to the same criteria as Public schools, they don't have to be, because they don't ( and should never ) receive public funds.

No doubt, some private schools may exceed the education guidelines of your state, however, some no doubt fall short. Some may even fall way short.

I'm just saying, understand your state's criteria and the level to which the private schools are held accountable, and then check out the schools history and record.

[JPL]

Another good thing to look into are Charter Schools they are essentially "private" public schools which often choose an area the specialize in like math or the arts. They are run much like a private and have some of the same benefits like small class size and a family like atmosphere while being held to public standards.

[mttafire]

Public schools have been dying a slow death. They IMHO, Are NOT teaching our kids properly. Yet, They keep wanting MORE and more money..With NO results.
If i were you and this is what we will be doing...
1. Private school or
2. Home Schooling
I think both are FAR better than public schools.
However, Public schools in the south and midwest tend to be more "traditional" and imho, provide a better education than other locations of public schools.

[SBETigg]

Public schools have been dying a slow death. They IMHO, Are NOT teaching our kids properly. Yet, They keep wanting MORE and more money..With NO results.
If i were you and this is what we will be doing...
1. Private school or
2. Home Schooling
I think both are FAR better than public schools.
However, Public schools in the south and midwest tend to be more "traditional" and imho, provide a better education than other locations of public schools.

You're entitled to your opinion but it's not based on fact, unless you've carefully studied every public school system in the country. Statistics prove you wrong here.

[DVC2004]

Well I am a product of Catholic School from K-12. I got a great education. The public schools where I lived were not the best.

My kids- youngest goes to public and oldest goes to a private school for special needs kids. I had planned to send the kids to parochial school, but my oldest has special needs and they cannot accomodate or provide the services. In fact he started at a parochial preschool and was kicked out after two weeks because of issues relating to his needs (which at the time was undiagnosed). Kind of left a bad taste in mouth so now I won't send my youngest there, either.

Homeschool- have a friend who has a relative that home schools. She sent her daughter there
after a few years at private school. Her daughter is extremely unhappy- she is lonely and misses her friends. It's been over a year and she's still not adjusted so they are going to send her back to regular school next year. Also she did not learn a whole lot. Now I am not saying I agree or disagree- it's a parent's personal choice- but the person teaching my friends daughter is really not cut out for teaching.

[mttafire]

You're entitled to your opinion but it's not based on fact, unless you've carefully studied every public school system in the country. Statistics prove you wrong here.
The O.P. ask for an opinion..Thats what i gave.
Also, Turn on ANY news agency including n.p.r.
The decline of public schools is certainly noted.
More and more folks every year is changing to private or home schooling for a better/safer education. That is a fact.
However, Bottom line...It IS personal choice.

[Marker]

Public schools have been dying a slow death. They IMHO, Are NOT teaching our kids properly. Yet, They keep wanting MORE and more money..With NO results.
If i were you and this is what we will be doing...
1. Private school or
2. Home Schooling
I think both are FAR better than public schools.
However, Public schools in the south and midwest tend to be more "traditional" and imho, provide a better education than other locations of public schools.

May I ask what information this accessment is based on? Is this accessment being cast upon public schools in your community, in your state, or are you including all public school systems anywhere?

I know that public school systems vary from community to community, and from state to state. And I would have to strongly disagree with any such accessment of our school district, as well as many other neighboring communities. Sadly, I could also point to nearby districts that are indeed struggling, as well as some private schools that are noticably deficient. Being a private school does not automatically equate to a quality education. LIkewise, I don't think it fair to equate all public schools as "dying a slow death".

If indeed that is the case in your community, perhaps another option would be to work towards correcting that situation. School systems do need money, but it takes more than money to solve their problems, it takes the community to be involved.

We have an interesting situation going on around here. You often hear of families moving to go to another district, in KC there are a group of schools wanting to move to another district. Not just the families, the entire school, 7 in total, a high school, a middle school, and 5 elementaries. Communities who were not satisfied with the results in their school district, attempting make a change.

[mttafire]

When ask of an opinion i'll give it. If one does not agree.. then thank a Veteran and Article 1 of the Bill of Rights for the right of free speech. I gave my opinion and others gave their opinions. Notice i did not question any other opinion..It's called class. Dont question mine based on your own feelings.

[Marker]

When ask of an opinion i'll give it. If one does not agree.. then thank a Veteran and Article 1 of the Bill of Rights for the right of free speech. I gave my opinion and others gave their opinions. Notice i did not question any other opinion..It's called class. Dont question mine based on your own feelings.

Wow, that was a left turn.

No hostility intended. Not doubting the validity of your opinion, not trying to infringe on anyone's constitutional rights. Merely asking for more information, a two-way discussion.

Nevermind. I'll leave the subject alone so it doesn't go too far out of whack.

[mttafire]

Wow, that was a left turn.

No hostility intended. Not doubting the validity of your opinion, not trying to infringe on anyone's constitutional rights. Merely asking for more information.
No offense intended. None taken. Its all about opinions.

[RenDuran]

The one interesting thing I've noticed about the local public schools is all they do is prepare for the SOL's.....Standard of Learning tests. It was big news recently when one school didn't do well. Ever since the "No Child Left Behind" campaign started, teachers don't "teach"....they just prepare the kids for these tests so the local system will pass. My husband went on a golf trip with a local high school principal who agreed that's all the schools do anymore. Just prep kids for tests!

[IloveDisney71]

I'm a product of the public school system. I am also a teacher with a masters degree. Both of my children have been in public school. One is now in college and is doing great. The other is a senior and has big dreams of becoming a Disney animator!:mickey:
I live in an amazing school system. We are well-funded, have great curriculums and most of the teachers are very dedicated. We have one of the best school systems in the state so I never had second thoughts about my children going to public school.
However, I know that there are school systems that have major PROBLEMS. I have family members that live out of state that have made the decision to home school because their school systems are so bad.
IMHO, I think that you have to investigate your school system and local schools. Investigate the private schools. One of the most popular ones in our area has 30 students in a kindergarten class (with a teacher's aide). I only have 15 students in my public school class. If none of these options are comfortable for you, consider homeschooling. My sister-in-law loves home-schooling her children. They are very involved in all sorts of activities with other children and are not isolated in anyway.
I think you have to do what is best for you and your child because schools vary from place to place.

[ElenitaB]

I've also admired the manner in which this conversation has been handled for the most part. Thank you to those who have stayed on topic and maintained a high level of respect for others and have thoughtfully considered the wording of their posts for the effect they may have on others! :thumbsup:

I'm a product of public schools and state universities... all the way up through grad school. I had intended to have my DS attend public school as I had done, however, the attention given to teaching toward standardized tests and the lack of funding NYC schools receive, made me think otherwise. I found a small private school in a nearby neighborhood. However, the money I've used for paying his tuition is the same money that I would have saved for his college fund. I had considered sending him to a friend who homeschools their children but thought developing friendships and interacting with many different kind of people is also an important part of one's education.

[Terra]

And I agree with Marker that probably many of those homeschooling aren't the greatest educators. Teachers go through all sorts of training, real school as well as professional development throughout the year. Sure there are many folks that shouldn't be teaching anymore, and I think the push to get them out by offering early retirement incentives, etc is a good thing.


IMO, this is not a good statement since neither of you know all of the homeschooling parents out there personally. I wouldn't assume anything unless I knew for sure.
ETA: forgot to put this in here. I worked in the Teacher Education department at the college where I was employed [as an office manager before I went on maternity leave] and trust me, some of these people were still not qualified IMO to teach even though they graduated. It really depends on what type of education the teachers get in college. Some programs are great, others are not. I saw several unethical things happen ranging from changing test scores to passing a student just because they were dating one of the professor's daughters. When I questioned it I was transferred. So again, many in school educators are not that great either.
Most all of the people that I know who homeschool have Bachelor's degrees, Masters and even PH.D degrees.
There children are doing or have done wonderfully.

I do agree with many of the posts that look and listent your child's cues and to your heart and so what you feel is right for your family.

We are going to try our best to Homeschool. There is a wonderful homeschooling network in our area that keeps the children connected and interactive. That is another stereotype that I hate. When people assume just because a child is homeschooled they never get out and interact. Of course there ARE some familes that do, but they tend to be extremists.

I'm hoping to teach online as a professor when I finish up my master's degree in 2009 and that would allow me to be home to educate David.

I am confident that you will find the best solution for your family Mjacyln!! And I think it's wonderful that you are looking at all angles and digging into it.:thumbsup: Some parents don't even think about it at all!

[conorsmom2000]

I can really on reiterate what so many have said - this is an extremely personal issue and you really have to know your child and do your research on all the possible options.

I will totally admit that though I went to Catholic School K-8, I did not send my son to one purely based on my experiences. Maybe that was not fair, but I couldn't help it. My siblings and I all went to the same catholic grammar school in our town - but, my twin and I were in the first Kindergarten class they ever offered. They convinced my parents to send us even though we weren't of age yet - we started in September, yet didn't turn 5 until the middle of January. Both of us always had a tough time in school, especially with socialization, and I do feel that a part of it was that we were almost a year younger than some of our classmates. There were many other things about catholic school that really affected me but it would take too long to go into now. But, it did leave me somewhat biased and I know that's not fair, but that's how it is.

For High School, I went to our public school (where Conor will go if we stay in this district). Everything changed for me there - not only was there English, Math, History, etc. - but there was college prep classes, and AP classes, and drama, music, computers, etc. There were all different types of teachers, not just the nuns I had and all different types of kids, not just the 50 kids we'd been with since Kindergarten. It just felt like a whole new world and I really thrived in high school.

For Conor, who was diagnosed with borderline social anxiety at age 4, I knew I wanted him to go through the public school system here. Home schooling was not a consideration - I have nothing but respect for those that do it, but it just wasn't what I wanted for Conor and I felt I wasn't qualified to do it.

I've always been a "it takes a village" kind of person - I like when he spends time with his aunts and uncles, grandfathers - I want them all to be influences (good influences! :D ) in his life. And I feel the same way with his education - it's not just about learning, but he's getting life skills, coping skills, different experiences that he may not have here when he's with us. He's already had two tough teachers and while some of it was rough on all of us, he has grown from all of it. This is not the same little boy who refused to go up on stage at his Pre-school holiday show and clung to my leg and cried; or who would stay by the books all day and not interact with the other children. At age 7 he is more confident, loves to be the "guest" reader in class, is a very willing participant in everything from speaking up in class to being a team captain in gym, and has gained such a love of music from his amazing music teacher. To me, the fact that he was asked to participate in enrichment classes because he's bright, and that he gets straight A's is awesome, but seeing how he's evolved as a little person is just priceless. Some of these changes in Conor would have happened anyway, just by maturing, but so much of it I know has been through his experiences in school. And that's not to say he wouldn't have had these same experiences in private school, but I do think the public schools have more to offer. I like that he goes to school with the kids in our neighborhood, yet through baseball, cub scouts, soccer and religious ed, he meets all other kids in town. There are plenty of avenues for socialization whether you do public, private or home schooling.

Most of my friends are products of this public school system and they received an excellent education. My niece just graduated from the HS here in the top 10 percent of her class, received a full 4 year scholarship to William Patterson, was drum major of the marching band after 3 years in color guard along with assorted other musical acomplishments (she's an amazing oboe player and singer) - and although she got the full scholarship, she was also awarded 5 other local scholarships based on her academic and musical accomplishments. While every child is different, watching her made me want that same well-rounded experience for Conor.

I don't think the public school system is perfect but I don't know of any option that is perfect. Our public schools do lack in certain areas, especially our middle school. I do know that being involved is key - go to Board of Education meetings, know your childs teacher(s), volunteer at school - be seen and be heard! Being the PA president at Conor's school is by far the toughest thing I've ever taken on but being involved on that level really lets you know the teachers, the administration and the district and that is a great payoff when making decisions for your child.

Remember, what I've posted are just my feelings, for my child and my opinions, based on my experiences - follow your heart. :cloud9:

[kakn7294]

I think that DisneyRox's point is valid - having an advanced education yourself doesn't automatically make you a good educator. There are some parents out there who do homeschooling who really aren't qualified but there are some who are fantastic teachers as well. By the same token, there are teachers in both the public and private sector who are also not good educators and some who are wonderful. It's the same as any profession - there are those who excell at it, those who are just average, and those who shouldn't have chosen it as a career. And I think the biggest thing to remember is this: regardless of which type of education you choose for your DD, her effort and parental involvement are the key. She will learn far more even in a bad system if she applies herself and you are involved in her education than she ever would at a top school where she didn't do the work.

[princessjojo]

There are 5 girls in my family, 3 of us (myself included) are public school educated, 2 private school products. I, being the oldest, am the only one who went away to college, found a great job and have returned to college again. Another turned to community college, married well, and now works for the public school system in her area, not a teacher, but substitute because she prefers to stay home with her children as much as possible. Third & middle is the equivilant of a loser and I mean this with the best of intentions. The younger 2 who were private school taught. One has had lots of social issues and the youngest is still in school now (15) and showing signs of the same.

Now to my point. Those of us who went to public schools here didn't necessarily get the best education, but we for the most part, turned out fine. My sister who went to private school received a superior education, but was sheltered and not socially ready for college. She became overwhelmed by the different lifestyles and dropped out. My youngest is at a different private school. She wants to trnsition to public, but won't be able to handle the peer pressures she will face. She tends only to hang out with those at her school. There's only 48 students in the entire 10th grade and I can see college being a culture shock for her as well.

Homeschooling isn't for me because I don't have the discpline within myself to do this. But those I know who choose this have really intelligent children.

We chose public school for our boys, pretty much for financial reasons. The 3 schools in our area have tuition that runs between $4800-$8200/month per child, not including any fees involved so we're kinda forcd to choose, private school or college for them.

Overall, I think it's a personal choice to be made between everyone involved, children included. We do have some issues with our public schools, and they aren't what we wish they were. But we suppliment where we can. What works for one may be completely wrong for another.

[Mousefever]

Another good thing to look into are Charter Schools they are essentially "private" public schools which often choose an area the specialize in like math or the arts. They are run much like a private and have some of the same benefits like small class size and a family like atmosphere while being held to public standards.

There are many charter schools here in Colorado and we were fortunate to get our son into one that we love. I don't have many problems with the public schools in our area. In fact many in my area are quite good. Our school district allows students to "open enroll" in any other school in the district, as long as there is room.

Ultimately, we chose a Core Knowledge charter school for our son. We thought that the rigorous academic program there would be good for Jacob. I also liked that his school requires a strong component of citizenship and behavior toward the other students.

On side note, one thing I didn't realize about charter schools is that they attract a lot of religiously conservative people. This is not a problem for me, since I come from a religious background and am active in my church. I imagine, though, that for some others it might be quite disconcerting. The fact that many people at the school are very religious does not mean that the school violates "separation of church and state". There is no teaching of religion, except in a generic, cross-cultural way. But there is no recognition of Halloween, for example, because there are quite a few families who do not celebrate Halloween based on their religious views. During the flag raising ceremony every Monday the children sing the Star Spangled Banner, or My Country Tis of Thee, or God Bless America. Very traditional, patriotic songs. I am comfortable with this because these are songs that I sang in my public school while growing up, but I know it wouldn't sit well with everyone.

I would echo what many others here have said. Use your best judgement about what would work best for your family. You can always change your mind, no matter what you decide. But don't discount charter schools as an alternative.

Amy


:dory:

[magicofdisney]

I've been away for a couple of days so I'm just now getting to respond to this thread. I've been homeschooling for 4+ years. My oldest son is in 4th grade and my 7yo twin daughters are in 2nd grade. My 2yo toddler is the official white board cleaner after each lesson. :)

There are SO MANY stereotypes regarding homeschooling children that drive me nuts. I won't go into all of them here, but it's unfortunate these stigmas are placed on some highly intelligent and socially accomplished individuals. I am fortunate enough to be a part of a support network of over 22 homeschooling families from my church. Florida is one of the most home-school friendly states in the US. But that doesn't give us parents exemption from state and federal laws. My kids are unflagging in their studies and I'm just as diligent in my prep work and teaching time.

My husband and I decided before I became pregnant that we would home-school our children. I say we because it is a joint effort. I'm the one who stays home but I daily need his support and encouragement. Additionally, he offers assistance is the spiritual, moral and ethical education of our children.

I will reiterate what most have said in that it is a personal decision. But please do your research and make your decision based on your desires for your children and not the opinions that so many have offered in this thread. I'm not criticizing anyone for contributing their opinion because that's what you asked for. But this decision is too important to make without in-depth research. GL and PM me if you have any questions. :)

[ElenitaB]

With the greatest of respect, I believe that those families who are in a position to homeschool are indeed very blessed.

I hold an advanced degree and have a lifelong love of and enthusiasm for learning that I'd love to share with my DS. However, as a single mom, I'm not in the financial situation to be able to homeschool my son. (Believe me, the possibility does figure into my "if I won the Lottery" daydreams. ;))

[merlinmagic4]

Yes, that is why it is truly an individual thing! I have a degree in elementary education. My husband has a bachelor's in history, a master's in teaching history, and a CAGS (post master's/pre doctorate) in administration. However, we would not consider homeschooling for our children! We both love to teach other people's children, though!

It was interesting to read that magicofdisney talks about the stigmas of homeschooling and I feel the exact same way about the stigma of public school teachers. Another example of the very individual nature of the decisions we make for our very different families :hands:

[magicofdisney]

With the greatest of respect, I believe that those families who are in a position to homeschool are indeed very blessed.
I agree 100%. I don't take lightly the opportunity I have to home-school my children. My heart goes out to those families whose desire is to have a parent stay home, or home-school their children, but circumstances dictate otherwise.

[ayeckley]

May I ask what information this damning accessment is based on?

Umm, I believe the correct spelling is "assessment". The Sisters of Notre Dame taught me that I could be most persuasive in debates if I used proper spelling and grammar.

Sorry, couldn't resist ;)

[DisneyDudet]

I am a product of over 12 years of private school education. My mother is a teacher of public school for longer than I've been alive. She is the one that wanted me in private school.

Now, I hope people don't think that private (religious based or otherwise) are immune to what goes on in public schools. Did we have illegal drugs and underage drinking going on? Yes. Were there relationships among students that shouldn't have been? Yes. Were there flirtations between staff and students. Yes. Was there violence? Yes. Could there have been issues with a student(s) coming to school with a weapon? Yes. We were not immune at all to what goes on in public schools.

I know a few families that home school in groups. They are very diligent with it, and their children are all very smart.

Ultimately, I think it comes down to what you want for your child, and what your child can handle. If you have a child that has some problems not being able to help him or herself and needs a lot of guidance, a school setting might be needed for structure. Plus, homeschooling children need to be able to teach themselves as well, and stick with the studies. All of the children who are homeschooled that I've encountered seem to be the perfect type to be there, and are with other children in a group setting.

I seemed to have made it through college and into the workforce quite well, for going to private school. When I was in school, people thought we were snobs and other things. A lot of our families took second and third jobs to put us through private school, to be around religion and small classes. Some of us were there because public school could not tailor to our academic needs, needing to be in advanced classes and such.

I think I turned out pretty well, and many people from all three categories do well. There will be the few that will not make it through, no matter where they were.

My mother is one of the best teachers, and has a very high up position in one of the largest school districts in the DFW area. So, not all public school teachers are slackers who do not know anything.

Why did my mother choose to send me to private school, when she taught public school? I couldn't tell you. Never got a clear answer out of her, but I'm glad she did, because I think it was the best place for me.