Cinderelley
10-14-2007, 07:02 PM
Here's the situation -
My ex and I divorced here in Arizona 12 years ago. Our child support was set then, and I have never gone back and changed it, even though I could get more from him since my kids are past the age of 13 (where it could be raised). It's about $300 a month for 3 kids.
He moved out of state to Kansas. For years and years he didn't pay a dime, but the system finally caught up with him about 4 years ago and threatened to take his license if he didn't pay. (He's a truck driver.) So, he has had to pay the last couple of years, but he still owes me quite a bit of back child support
Last week I got a call from him (he never calls me), and he tells me that he is filing for bankruptcy and he wants me to "forgive" his $32,000 in back child support. (I think it's actually more than that.) He proceeds to tell me this sob story about how he's going to lose his house and can't make enough money, blah, blah, blah. I've heard this story too many years to care. My response was that his wife should get a job to help pay the bills. He then tells me that his wife is "legally" blind now, her oldest daughter is in some mental institution, and her youngest daughter (around 10 years old) still lives at home, so his wife has to stay home to take care of her. (They don't have any children together.) To make a long story, with many words that I can't type on here, short - I told him no.
Now I have received a notice in the mail about his bankruptcy. On this paper, it says "The names of DSO claimants, together with the approximate amount owed pre and post petition are as follows: 'my name' $32,000 owed in back child support"
It also says something about showing up there on 10/31/07 with ID.
1. DH says that child support isn't a "debt" so it can't be written off in bankruptcy.
2. I called my mom, who was a legal secretary before she retired, and she said that bankruptcy is a federal issue, so those laws supercede any state laws about our divorce.
3. She's on her honeymoon, but when she gets back, she'll call and make an appointment with a bankruptcy attorney that she knows is pretty good.
4. I'm a nervous wreck until she gets back, and I see that attorney. It would be very difficult for me to drop everything and fly back to Kansas on Oct. 31. Plus, he's been a slacker father from the get-go. I really don't want him wiggling his way out of this responsibility to his kids too. Any words of advice you guys can give me to reassure me would be much appreciated.
To top it all off, my DS17 comes to me yesterday and says he needs to take some money out of his bank account where he has been saving money for a car. (He has to ask me because the account is in my name.) I ask him what it's for, and his reply is that his father has asked him for $200 to make his house payment. My ex has used everybody in his family until they will not give him any money anymore. Now he's trying to take it from his kids, while he's also trying to get out of his child support obligation. ( :mad: I can't believe I was ever married to this man!) My DS17 is now mad at me for not letting him give his father his money! It's going to be a long week.
My ex and I divorced here in Arizona 12 years ago. Our child support was set then, and I have never gone back and changed it, even though I could get more from him since my kids are past the age of 13 (where it could be raised). It's about $300 a month for 3 kids.
He moved out of state to Kansas. For years and years he didn't pay a dime, but the system finally caught up with him about 4 years ago and threatened to take his license if he didn't pay. (He's a truck driver.) So, he has had to pay the last couple of years, but he still owes me quite a bit of back child support
Last week I got a call from him (he never calls me), and he tells me that he is filing for bankruptcy and he wants me to "forgive" his $32,000 in back child support. (I think it's actually more than that.) He proceeds to tell me this sob story about how he's going to lose his house and can't make enough money, blah, blah, blah. I've heard this story too many years to care. My response was that his wife should get a job to help pay the bills. He then tells me that his wife is "legally" blind now, her oldest daughter is in some mental institution, and her youngest daughter (around 10 years old) still lives at home, so his wife has to stay home to take care of her. (They don't have any children together.) To make a long story, with many words that I can't type on here, short - I told him no.
Now I have received a notice in the mail about his bankruptcy. On this paper, it says "The names of DSO claimants, together with the approximate amount owed pre and post petition are as follows: 'my name' $32,000 owed in back child support"
It also says something about showing up there on 10/31/07 with ID.
1. DH says that child support isn't a "debt" so it can't be written off in bankruptcy.
2. I called my mom, who was a legal secretary before she retired, and she said that bankruptcy is a federal issue, so those laws supercede any state laws about our divorce.
3. She's on her honeymoon, but when she gets back, she'll call and make an appointment with a bankruptcy attorney that she knows is pretty good.
4. I'm a nervous wreck until she gets back, and I see that attorney. It would be very difficult for me to drop everything and fly back to Kansas on Oct. 31. Plus, he's been a slacker father from the get-go. I really don't want him wiggling his way out of this responsibility to his kids too. Any words of advice you guys can give me to reassure me would be much appreciated.
To top it all off, my DS17 comes to me yesterday and says he needs to take some money out of his bank account where he has been saving money for a car. (He has to ask me because the account is in my name.) I ask him what it's for, and his reply is that his father has asked him for $200 to make his house payment. My ex has used everybody in his family until they will not give him any money anymore. Now he's trying to take it from his kids, while he's also trying to get out of his child support obligation. ( :mad: I can't believe I was ever married to this man!) My DS17 is now mad at me for not letting him give his father his money! It's going to be a long week.