Am I being to overprotective?

[Tinkerfreak]

My youngest DD was just invited to her friends 9th B-Day celebration. Her Mom is renting her a Hummer Stretch Limo. It will be the little girl and 10 of her friends and her brother who is 15 or 16 and one of his friends. The Mom is not going. I immediately said no but then got second guessing myself. I am concerned that the 2 older boys will not be responsible enough to handle all those little girls. Am I the only one who feels like this is way over the top for a 9th birthday party? The litle girl has always pretty much gotten whatever she wants but this is unreal. The brother got this same gift for his 13th birthday. My goodness what is she going to want for her 13th birthday or 16th birthday a trip to Europe?
Am I being overprotective first of all and am I the only one who thinks this is nuts?
Come on guys I know you will all put this in perspective for me.

[offwego]

What exactly will they be doing? If they are just driving around I'm sure they would be fine if the plans include more then that I guess that could be different.

After all their will be an adult driver right? and two 15-16 year old camp counsleers would be fine with 10 campers so that seems ok to me.

[Scar]

There should (must) be adult supervision. Eleven 9-year old girls being supervised by two 15-year old boys! I'm surprised the limo company is even allowing this.

By the way, are they going somewhere or are they just going to drive around? :confused:

[Jasper]

I would definately say this is over the top!!! Why would anyone rent a limo of any kind for a child that age!!!

I don't think you are being overprotective at all. While the previous poster is correct that 15 and 16 year olds work as camp counselors all the time, the difference is that camps are a fairly controlled environment with adults overseeing the whole works. What it sounds like you are talking about is something that can turn into just about anything. Also, if the older brother has also always gotten anything he wants then he may not have the best judgement skills. As for the driver, even if they are an adult they are not there as a babysitter, they are only a driver, the behavior of the riders is not their responsibility.

Bottom line is that I would not allow my child of that age to participate in this situation without some type of adult supervision. Of course, be prepared for the negative feedback that you will get from those who don't understand your position.

[offwego]

Sorry I should add that my comments about it being ok were if the total plans were to just drive around...

[DisneyDudet]

When my best friend turned 10(I think), her parents rented a limo for her birthday. It was a surprise for her, and for all of us. They told all the parents what was going on. We rode in it alone to Downtown Fort Worth to go to the movies (Lion King!). They met us at the theater, and followed us back to the house.

Our parents didn't have any problem with it. I know in Texas, if there are minors in the back, the partition between the seating area and the driver has to be open, unless there is an adult present. I don't know about other states, but this may help calm your fears.

You are not being overprotective at all! I would be worried as well, and I don't even have kids. I suggest you speak with the mother again about it, and inquire why there is not someone older going, maybe like an old babysitter or something? I know, when I was a nanny, I helped with the girls' birthday parties.

You have every right to be concerned over this. There is not a lot of information, so I would request more. Say you want your child to attend b/c it would be a fun experience, but you are worried about safety and keeping the girls in line.

[tink'72]

Overprotective, NOT at all!! My DD is 10 and I would never let her go...A stretch Hummer for a 10th b-day party...What are the parents thinking :confused:??? If they wanted to do that for their daughter then they should at least chaperone...

..and what are these 10, 9 & 10 year olds going to be doing all night?

Overprotective nope! I'm right there with ya!

[Jodi]

I don't think you are being overprotective AT ALL. I don't think I would even let my 12 or 15 yr old DD's go without adult supervision. Unless these teen boys are super responsible, I would not allow it. Sounds like one of those spoiled sweet "16" type birthday parties. Even just driving around, there should be an adult present and why wouldn't a parent want to be part of their childs birthday party???

[Lizzie]

If they are meeting up somewhere. What if you let her ride in the car with the group than volunteer to help chaperone at the event. Talk to your daughter and see if their is a compromise you can come up with. I know I wouldn't be comfortable sending my kids somewhere without adults.

[Scar]

...why wouldn't a parent want to be part of their childs birthday party???They probably have something more important to do than spend time with their kids. :rolleyes:

[gardenia]

Am I being overprotective first of all and am I the only one who thinks this is nuts?

It's NUTS.

[Zippy 1]

There is no way I would let my nine year old go unchaperoned in a limo. I am not sure I wouldlet my now 13 year old go. How can the limo company let these children go without an adult present?

[dephenn]

I wouldn't let it happen. All those kids with just 2 teenagers. Who will ensure seat belts stay on. Even with the diver having the visibility on them, think of the distaction if he has to keep an eye on what's going on in the limo, and not the road. Just what we need another little girl brought up to act and and admire spoiled Divas. The other posting was right maybe they should try and spend time with their kids instead of shoving them in a limo and off they go out of their hair for how ever long. There are plenty of ways to entertain kids and have a nice party with out spoiling them with their every whim. Stick to your values and keep your child safe, do what feels right, she's your DD.

[princessjojo]

Would I let my kids go, I don't know. My niece had the same thing for her 10th birthday party, but they went out for pizza and then to the movies, and back home. Difference here is that her dad rode in the front with the driver. I think a lot of what would answer this question would be how well I knew the boys.

A lot of kids together unsupervised for the most part can often be a recipe for disaster. Same reason I don't let my kids ride the school bus. Too many kids together with so many different ages and only the driver and 1 teacher to monitor 50+ kids for an hour at a time. I guess this means I agree with the majority that you're not being overprotective, just being a cautious parent.

[Tinkerfreak]

Thank you all for your opinions. I feel less like a stuffy old Mom. I should have gotten more information but to be honest with you I was just kind of shocked that she was doing this. I do have to set the record straight about one thing though. The mother is absolutely not an uninvolved parent. She and her entire family dote on these kids and fullfill there every whim. Their entire lives revolve around these 2 kids, even the aunt, grandparents, everyone. I think they did this for the brother when he turned 13 and they all went to a drive-in restaurant, rode around and came home. I just am worried that the boys will not be able to control the girls and they will get out of control. I am proud to say though that my daughter was very understanding when I explained to her that she could not go. She was very mature about it and did not throw a fit or anything. She has ridden in a Stretch Hummer Limo on our last Disney trip (thanks to a free upgrade from Happy Limo) so at least she is not missing her once in a life time chance to ride in one.
Again thanks for making me feel better about my decision.

[Sean Riley Taylor's Mom]

I would definately say this is over the top!!! Why would anyone rent a limo of any kind for a child that age!!!

I don't think you are being overprotective at all. While the previous poster is correct that 15 and 16 year olds work as camp counselors all the time, the difference is that camps are a fairly controlled environment with adults overseeing the whole works. What it sounds like you are talking about is something that can turn into just about anything. Also, if the older brother has also always gotten anything he wants then he may not have the best judgement skills. As for the driver, even if they are an adult they are not there as a babysitter, they are only a driver, the behavior of the riders is not their responsibility.

Bottom line is that I would not allow my child of that age to participate in this situation without some type of adult supervision. Of course, be prepared for the negative feedback that you will get from those who don't understand your position.


ITA. :thumbsup:

My son just turned 10 on August 6th. We took 10 of his buddies to a family fun place here. They had pizza, cake, rode the water slide, had water balloon fights and played mini golf. All under the watchful eyes of DH and I. ;)

I think he would have gotten a real kick out of riding in a limo..especially a Hummer. There just would have been no question that there would have been adults in there too.

Tinkerfreak, What a very mature DD you have. Tell her we are all proud of her too. Good decison, Mom. ;)

[PirateLover]

While the previous poster is correct that 15 and 16 year olds work as camp counselors all the time, the difference is that camps are a fairly controlled environment with adults overseeing the whole works.

I guess if you are talking about overnight camps but I worked as a counselor at an inner city day camp throughout my teenage years. When we went on field trips one or two counselors were often responsible for groups of 10 or even more. That was it, you were on your own with these kids for a few hours.

While I agree that I think it's crazy to give a 9 year old a present such as this, I guess I don't see as much harm in letting a daughter attend it as the other posters. Maybe it's because I'm not a parent yet? What do you think could happen? Do you know the other girls? Are the a rowdy, spoiled bunch or will they just be so impressed by the whole thing that they will sit back and take it all in? Limo drivers generally do take control of their limo, especially when they are encouraged by the parents. I went to someone else's prom once and a kid brought beer into the limo. The driver was specifically told to watch for this behavior and he pulled over on the side of the road and made them get rid of the beer. If the girls are jumping around and out of their seats, that is a hazard to him as well. I still don't get why the mom isn't going though...I mean it's not like 9 is a coming of age year where the daughter normally wants space. I think my 9th birthday was also at a Funplex type of place, lol.

Anyways, I would try to get more details or talk to the mom personally. It's good that your daughter understands, though if you do make the final decision not to let her go. However, I would try to prep her for hearing about "how much fun" all of the others girls had. It can be rough sometimes.

[Here we go again...]

I would not let her go without an adult. I do want to add this...

My daughter got a limo on her 11th birthday. Is she spoiled, or a "diva"? I don't think so. This was a gift from her grandfather. I rode with them and we picked up each girl and had a champage toast for photos. The champage was sprite with red food color in champagne glasses.
We went to a Japanese restaurant and then to the mall for a Build a Bear party. Yes, it was a little over the top, but lots of fun. Did it ruin her? No, it did not.

This year for her 13th birthday we brought 2 friends to diner and they slept over. We do not have to top the last party each year.

Sometimes parents (or grandparents) do crazy things for their kids. It does not make us bad people. I wish I would have been able to ride in a limo before my mother's funeral....

[conorsmom2000]

Wow, this is totally new to me! :blush: But, while renting a limo seems a little over the top to me, I can see parents who can afford it doing it and I can see the kids loving it - in this day of "My Super Sweet 16", I guess nothing is really over the top anymore. I don't think it's a bad thing at all - but, it's the supervision that would be my issue. I'm sorry, but I would want an adult there. I don't think you are being overprotective at all - there is no way I could let Conor go without knowing there were one or two adults along. And I'm totally neuortic about certain things, especially seat belts - even in limos. (Two car accidents I was lucky to walk away from will do that to you) And that would be one of my biggest fears - that they were jumping around inside the limo, not buckled in. :blush: I think the way Angel and some others described using the limo to enhance the birthday childs night sounds great - but, without an adult there, I just couldn't let Conor go.

[disneynarula]

No way would I let a group of ten year olds alone with a few teenagers to supervise. I don't think you are being overprotective at all.

I think these parents are crazy. So much can go wrong in this situation.

An adult needs to be along.

My friends parents did this for them on their sweet sixteen (they were twins) and we had a blast but there is huge difference between 10 and sixteen.

[Terra]

It's NUTS.

ITA with everyone that you are not being overprotective.
And I do think it's totally nuts in the first place to rent a limo for children...a pizza party is perfectly fine...which is another topic and hot one at that...LOL..

Anyway...if no adults are present that would be a big fat no!!

[Tinkerfreak]

Well I had to tell you all what my DD said to me about the situation. She said "Mommy that is just so showoffy". She honestly does not seem too upset about it, maybe because she has allready been in one (yes like I mentioned above Happy Limo upgrades us for free to a Hummer Stretch Limo on our last trip). I am so proud of her for being so mature about it all.

[Here we go again...]

I am so proud of her for being so mature about it all.
She does sound like a very mature girl. I am sure that had a lot to do with the way she was raised. :thumbsup:

[January-2007]

My take? No parents, no way. That's way to young. I don't think you're being overprotective, I think you're being a good parent.

[crazypoohbear]

I know when my son took a limo to his prom the kids all had to sign a contract, no alcohol, drugs, etc. Also, the partition had to be down between the drive and the kids. NO privacy.!
I have seen parents who can't get a bunch of 10 year old under control, so I wouldn't put that responsibility on a couple of teens, no matter how responsible they are.

a gaggle of girls can and does get out of control in a heart beat and those boys will be shell shocked!

It would be another story if they were taking the limo to a place and the parents were meeting them there but to ride around randomly, not a good idea.
Also, I don't think there are seatbelts in a limo.
Just as there are no seat belts on a bus, Limo's don't need them:(

[jax86]

never would i let my kid go wothout an adult!! At the risk of sounding like my mother-- there is way too much trust nowadays!! I just had an issue with my 13 year old. I wouldn't let her go to a party with her friends at their beach house because the parents were
going to let them wander the boardwalk alone at night! the "friend" decided she was no longer my daughters friend if she couldn't go, but i stand by my decision. The problem is that parents want to be their kids "pals" and not parent.

[murphy1]

I would say no and I don't care if anyone thinks I am overprotective, I don't know too many 15 yo boys (no offense to anyone or their kids on here) i would trust to do this, but also no adults??? You also don't know who the driver is if I remember reading that right.

PS I just read what your dd said, you are raising her very well :)

[Tinkerfreak]

Well I guess I was not alone in my concerns because out of 10 girls she invited not one of them was allowed to go!! All of the parents said if there was no adult there daughter was not going. So the little girl having the party was told by her mom that if she let her mom go with her that her friends would be able to come. Can you believe that the little girl chose not to have her mom come anyway even though she knew her friends could not go without her there. So they ended up sending her with a bunch of teenage boys, all her brothers friends. I guess they rode around for a while and then went to a drive-in restaurant. This little girl has absolutely no respect for her parents and it makes me sad to think of what will become of her when she gets older if they do not teach her some respect now. She is always so nice to other adults she just is really rude and rotten to her parents.
Thank you all for your thoughts on this you really did make me feel much better about my decision.

[Scar]

She [the mother] and her entire family dote on these kids and fullfill there every whim.

This little girl has absolutely no respect for her parents and it makes me sad to think of what will become of her when she gets older if they do not teach her some respect now. ... she just is really rude and rotten to her parents.This is not a coincidence.

[murphy1]

I hate to say this, but I think kids like this head for disaster in a heartbeat, they are the ones that party too much, don't understand why they can't have their way in the world when they grow up and mommy and daddy can't buy their way out of things and even turn into Lindsey or Paris in their 20's, I can't stand excessively spoiled kids! They remind me of Veruca Salt. I'm glad to see that the other parents agreed, too, that says a lot.

[alphamommy]

As the mother of a 7.5 year old DD, this scares me! There is no way I would let my daughter go on this adventure, and I'm not even sure I would consent if only one parent were going.

We had 10 little girls at our house in January for DD's birthday, and it was all DH and I could handle. I can't imagine having them in a limo with a couple of teenagers!

I thought the country club party for the 4-year-old that we attended a few years ago was decadent!

[PirateLover]

Can you believe that the little girl chose not to have her mom come anyway even though she knew her friends could not go without her there.

WOW. Talk about selfish and spoiled. I'm really really glad the other girls weren't allowed to go, too. This way your daughter didn't have to feel like she was "missing out" and hopefully these girls will re-evaluate their friendships and not let this little lady be their queen bee. For someone to want something like that so badly, that is insignificant in the grand scheme of life, that they shut their friends out on purpose in the process... that just says it all right there. This girl is headed on a bad path.

[RBrooksC]

Here is some perspective... when I was 17 and went to Ocean City, Maryland after HS graduation for Senior Week, it was me and about seven friends in a condo right on the boards. While parent was not with us, a mother of one of my friends stayed in her condo so we would have a parent there in case of emergencies or in case we needed an "adult" for something.

While this is a car ride in a stretch Hummer limo, I fail to see how a couple of mid-teens are adequate chaparones for little girls.

What if something happens and the driver gets hurt? Do the parents think those 15 year old boys will be level-headed enough to be able to take command of the situation?

I would not allow my daughter to go in the car and I would let those parents know why. I would hate to see how those children react when they learn the harsh truth that the world isn't going to give them an 1/8 of what their parents did.

[SBETigg]

No way would I let a group of ten year olds alone with a few teenagers to supervise. I don't think you are being overprotective at all.

I think these parents are crazy. So much can go wrong in this situation.

An adult needs to be along.



Some teens can be quite responsible, but I am with you. I think the parents holding the party are responsible for being there to supervise it. I would have trouble trusting my children to two teens I didn't know. If I knew the teenagers and their responsibility levels, I may feel differently. But what adult in their right mind hosts a bunch of under twelve kids without providing adult supervision?

[MsMin]

A key word here too is siblings w/ a friend. Yes a 15 yr old can watch a younger child and do well but siblings are another problem especially unsupervised and with a friend. Who wants to give a 9yr old the idea that supervision is bad?
15 yr old boys can get into plenty of trouble- I don't care how good they are. I just don't like the idea that a good time is when parents are not around:(
I would tell the person I would allow my dd w/ adult supervision only.