Struggling a little w/ school decision... warning, a little long...

[Dsnygirl]

Okay, I guess I'm posting to get a little bit of feedback re: what my DH and I are deciding on for our girls... and I realize that this won't be something everyone's gone through - but I'd still like to hear from some of you who have done something similar. That being said - I hope this doesn't become a controversial topic!:(

Okay - brief background - I attended a Christian school for 7th-12th grade due to what was going on in my public district at the time, 20-25 years ago. My DH attended a highly regarded public school, and did very well.

Our girls, 6 & 9, have been attending the same Christian school - DD9 for K-3rd grade, DD6 just completed kindergarten there. For multiple reasons, we are considering pulling them for a year to trial the public schools in the town we just moved to. We are renting here for a year, to see how well we like it, and hoping to buy or build here next summer. So, one of our reasons for moving them has to do with basically making sure that we really like this district before we commit to a long-term home here, just in case something were to happen in the future, either financial or w/ their Christian school, and we had to send them here. We'd hate to find out then that we don't care for the district. (From everything we've heard before we moved here, the district is very good and highly regarded - but we'd like to "test it" ourselves)
We are also a little bit "older", and want to really be strong financially when we buy/build next year - and the savings of a year off from their school is significant.
Lastly, the hardest part, is that their school is struggling a bit financially - and that makes me feel bad about the decision, b/c I hate to be a part of their problem instead of a part of helping them survive this slow-down in attendance. I really believe in the school, and would definitely consider sending the girls back there - but I feel they need to really get back on their feet and strengthen some of their programs before my girls are older, too. As much as I love the school, and I love the Biblical teaching and prayers that they share w/ their teachers - I also want my girls to get as good an education as possible, and thus, we want to give the local schools here a shot, even if it's just for a year.

Okay. I think that's the basis of it. We've started the process of making appointments w/ the principals at their respective schools here to find out a little more... I guess I just feel torn - I'm happy and sad about the decision at the same time, on multiple levels.

Has anyone else made this kind of choice, whether from a Christian school or a private school, and integrated your children into the local public school?? I know a lot of families from their Christian school have, which is why they're struggling (for most of those families, it was purely financial - tuition costs have crept up quite a bit) and I'm sure I'll be talking to some of those moms & dads this summer - but I'm putting it out to my "I'cot family" too, just to here from some of you what your experiences or thoughts have been.

Sigh - it's so hard to know you're doing something good for your kids - and yet feel sad about it and know that they'll struggle w/ it a little at first... :( I'm sure if we put the best, positive spin on it our girls will accept it and do well, even if we're struggling ... it's still so hard, though!

Okay - sorry so long - thanks for any and all input... :)

[r4kids]

When we moved from Northern VA to WV we looked into putting our children into a private school. I had heard the schools were terrible here and we were moving from N VA where school were excellent.. At the time the kids were in 3rd and kindergarten. We are at the opposite end of the age scope as we were 17 when we had our oldest DD. Anyway, after looking into the private school and weighing the cost. It was much more than we could afford with 2 other little ones starting school within the next 3 years. We decided to give the public schools a try. We were so nervous, if necessary we would have driven the 40 mins back to VA or gotten 2nd and 3rd jobs. Now 4 years later we are very happy. Our oldest 2 kids are both Honor Roll students, in advance classes and have become relaxed and comfortable in the schools here. I also found out later the "private school", a very well known and reputable school, was not even accredited. So my point is your children will succeed based on several things, the lessons they learn at home, finding the right teachers for your child and letting them have many different experiences to make them a whole, well rounded person. I am very proud of my childrens decisions ie: friends they choose, behavior in school, etc. Private schools typically cater to a certian type of family, where many children learn to associate with one type of group, you are doing them a favor by allowing them to have a more broad scope of friends from many different levels. Good luck in your decision and sorry it's so long!

[BronxTigger]

This is my 1235 post....breaking up the 1234 I was holding. :(

Anyways, I say you should go for it with the public schools. I went to a private K-8 school in grades 6 & 7, and my brother was at the same school for grade 2 (and maybe also 1st). Before that, we were in our neighborhood public school, but when I went to middle school my mom wanted me out of the n'hood public school.

Anyways, at the end of my 7th grade (my brother's 2nd grade) year, we moved to a different state with a different economy. Our money did not go as far there, and back to public schools we went.

The transition was rough at first, at least for me. I won't lie. Going from a sheltered, same-class all day to a large public middle school where most of the kids knew each other and having 7 classes a day was difficult. But in the end, I think it was better. The school was bigger, so more and better programs. The kids were less cliquey and more diverse, and so I had more friends. My brother had an easier time transitioning in the 3rd grade than I did at the 8th, so an earlier transition is better.

[BigRedDad]

Take this bit of advice from one of the worst rezoning counties in the Country. My county rezones schools every two years, if not more. You can buy a home in an upstanding community with great schools across the street. Then all of a sudden, a news report comes on saying that your area has been rezoned. Now, instead of your children going to the school across the street from your front door (100 feet away), they are bused 30-45 minutes away. This is legally done by the School Board by altering the bus routes and bus stops to insure your children's bus does not pass that school.

#1 Do not trust anything the School Board tells you.
#2 The new Supreme Court decision is going to have sweeping affects to all public schools in this country.
#3 Realize that you have little say in which school your child goes to. However, a large enough following can cripple any county's Federal Education budget.

These are just some of the points that I see in Wake County, NC. I do not know where you live. I would research how often the county rezones schools and also wait to see how local counties deal with the new Supreme Court ruling on Integration/Segregation.

[Dsnygirl]

Take this bit of advice from one of the worst rezoning counties in the Country. My county rezones schools every two years, if not more. You can buy a home in an upstanding community with great schools across the street. Then all of a sudden, a news report comes on saying that your area has been rezoned. Now, instead of your children going to the school across the street from your front door (100 feet away), they are bused 30-45 minutes away. This is legally done by the School Board by altering the bus routes and bus stops to insure your children's bus does not pass that school.

#1 Do not trust anything the School Board tells you.
#2 The new Supreme Court decision is going to have sweeping affects to all public schools in this country.
#3 Realize that you have little say in which school your child goes to. However, a large enough following can cripple any county's Federal Education budget.

These are just some of the points that I see in Wake County, NC. I do not know where you live. I would research how often the county rezones schools and also wait to see how local counties deal with the new Supreme Court ruling on Integration/Segregation.

Thank you for the replies so far! It's good to hear both sides of the equation.

As far as zoning/re-zoning, I'd heard about this in NC - we have friends in Charlotte. Where we live, this doesn't happen - Marcellus is a small community, and as long as you live w/in the town line, your children go to the Marcellus schools - one school for elem., one for middle and one for high school. That being said - we are going to make sure that as we buy or build a home next year, we are well within town limits - just in case somebody decides to try to change that! :blush:

Thanks for the notes - I appreciate it! :thumbsup:

[MsMin]

I was forced to make a similar decision many years ago -13 to be exact. While for different reasons I chose to put my kids in public school after my divorce b/c though the judge ordered my ex to pay for the kids he avoided it and the judge never forced him to pay it resulting in me in school struggling to pay their tuition, legal fees to fight it etc. So when I moved here I put them in public school but not w/o studying the programs first.
You may not have as many options but what I found was that many of the public schools here were far superior than the christian school my children were attending in part due to more money available. The only thing I really hated was that my 3 kids born w/i 5 years were in 3 different schools:(
My youngest dd was put in an elementary that had superior ratings, my middle dd was offered testing for gifted b/c of her grades which she was placed by mid year and my DS was put in regular ed(slept in class and made all A's) in a good HS in our district. I had him tested privately which placed him in gifted by mid year as well. The next year I applied for magnet schools for my son which he got in and my dd got in the next year for HS and my youngest got into the magnet program for middle school and HS. They received far better educations than their former christian school in the smaller town (not that they don't have excellent private schools here but who could afford them? not a single mom in school:blush:).
I understand your feelings of commitment to the school but IMO your kids come first. I remember feeling the same way when my kids were in a smaller town private school. They didn't have the funding or the enrollment-- but ironically the enrollment comes with enrichment but many never want to take the chance to improve the school.
Don't be deceived by overall test scores or school report cards (the whole institution not the children's). This is one place where the expression that "statistics lie" is very true b/c the averages are not fair comparisons. Look at the production of the school. Are many of the HS grads able to attend the college of their choice? are they prepared? Most often the public school is better than it looks on paper and the private is not as great b/c the ranges of the scores are different. I can offer an explanation statistically but that's a very long post...
Bottom line... don't let your emotions about the welfare of the current school influence your decision, you will be leaving it one day and your children of course are your first concern. Find the best the public school has to offer, can you live with it? can your children succeed? Remember too that there is a trade off with an advanced program (also another long post).
There is something that a public school offers that a private school is lacking and that is they are usually more diverse. Learning from others is a large part of a child's education. I find kids in private school are often more sheltered and many times (not all but often) struggle to adapt when leaving the sheltered environment. I think kids see and receive a few more "hard knocks" in a mixed environment.
There is also something else about having more to offer your kids in other ways financially. I'm not saying that kids that have more fair better b/c I often see kids that have too much failing to develop longterm goals. But I can't sit here and honestly say that a parent working 2 or 3 jobs just to keep a child in private school is always in their best interest.
Remember too that I am speaking of generalizations what is best for most kids not the exception. There are kids that can benefit from a more Christian environment and need a smaller class ratio etc. While most parents know what's best for their kids, I hate to see parents misinformed and school systems vary from place to place.
I do a lot of work with testing and kids so I see a lot. Someone may know more from your area but I would be more than happy to explain anything in more detail by PM. Best of luck and remember you are considering their best interests and it's obvious you care.

[Christine]

I totally understand your feelings on this. Every "big" decision a parent makes seems to be prefaced with feelings of "will this scar them for life????" But the truth is, kids generally do fine!

We moved out of the district where DD went to kindergarten. We had her tested for a magnet school (small classes, great programs) and she got in. She did very well in first grade and is looking forward to second with a lot of enthusiasm.

I must have asked her 25 times last year, "do you want to go back to your old school????" to which she would always say, "no thanks." And she REALLY liked her old school!

It sounds like you've really researched the public system thoroughly. If you think it is as good as it sounds, go for it. As you say, better that you find out NOW than after you build a house and "grow roots" there!

Good luck!

[snifflesmcg]

I've never been a fan of private schools. To me it's a watered down version of the military. I say try out the public school and save yourself some money. You are paying taxes anyway.

[Tinkermom]

We have 3 kids all of whom are in public school. All 3 of my kids get straight A's, well my kindergartner got straight E's (excellent)LOL! :mickey:They all love school and have a great circle of friends. We have a VERY active PTO which I think makes a huge difference in how a school functions.

I have had friends who had their children in a Christian school only to see the school end up closing their doors due to financial issues and the parents having to scramble to find another school or enroll them in public school. Of course, I also have other friends whose children are in a Christian school and are doing wonderfully.

I was not sure by your post if you are just wanting to "trial" the public school for one year with plans to move your children back to the Christian school if they improve their financial situation regardless of whether the public school was working well or not. I would think this would be really tough on the kids. However, I realize that you would want to keep your options open if your kids really did not do well in the public school and then you wanted to move them back to the Christian school. I just would be clear with your children of what the plan is.

As far as getting Bible lessons, prayer, etc. your children can get this from your church as well as at home. We are a strong Christian family, I am the director of children's ministry at our church. We make sure our own kids attend church/Sunday School every Sunday and attend mid-week programming. I strongly encourage the parents of kids in our program to do the same. By attending Sunday school and keeping the faith at home we keep a Biblical worldview in front of our children.

I will say a prayer for God's guidance, I know this is a really difficult decision for you and your family. :hug:

Blessings to you!

[RedSoxFan]

Blythe: My SIL took her kids out of Catholic school and put them in private school when they moved to another city in Mass. They have done very well and SIL is very happy with her decision. My boys were in a huge high school (there are 4 high schools in Charlottesville, VA) and my oldest did not know 1/2 the kids he graduated with in 2006. There were almost 500 kids in each grade. Now we are in the Lansing school district where there is (like Marcellus) 1 elem, 1 ms and 1hs. The high school has about 420 kids total. I love the small town public schools so much better. Everyone in the schools know everyone. And for my two boys that are still in hs, it was an easy transition because the kids love meeting new kids as they've been with the same kids since kindergarten. So if Marcellus is like Lansing schools, you'll be happy and your girls will do great. But in the end, you have to make the decision that you feel comfortable with. But like you said, if you don't like it after one year, you can send them back to the christian school. Good luck with your decision.

[PirateLover]

I think you are doing the right thing. I went to private, Catholic schools my whole life but in Philadelphia, the public school system is practically in shambles. There are a few good magnet schools but private is the way to go. I loved my private eduction, aside from wearing a uniform and having a somewhat strict dress code, there was nothing militaristic about it. My class size was never over 21 so I got individual attention. It was great.
However all schools are not created equal and there are going to be areas in which the public schools are far better than the Christian schools. It sounds like you've done your homework. I would also say that the sooner you make the transition the better.

[JoDisney]

I think the suggestion of trying out the public school is the way to go. If you don't try, you will never know. That is what I am doing this year. I went to Catholic school. Now, my kids go to Catholic school. However, it is so different now. They mostly hire parents of children in the school. I do not feel the same anymore about private school and am trying the public school system. My friends made the same move the last few years and their kids love the change. I am going to do it because I need to try it or I'll never know.

[Donald A]

Let me first admit that I do not have kids yet, but my wife and I have discussed this issue. Let me also say that my wife and I are conservative christians.

I went to a public school throughout my whole life. I had a decent school system and went to a public university (The University of Akron). My wife, however, never spent a day in public school. She went to a baptist school and a christian college.

My wife has a history degree and is a homemaker and I am a physician.

My wife has decided that we are sending our kids (when we have them) to a christian school. I guess I will go along with it. I like to have some say and recourse in my child's education rather than let some liberal government body decide what to teach him.

HOWEVER,

I want to make sure that my child sees the real world. In public school, people come from all backgrounds, but in christian school it is an environment that is sheltered (in a good way).

As a physician, I have to relate to all kinds of people and I want to make sure my children understand how to do this.

MY POINT IS that I am sure you are excellent parents and either way your kids will grow up to be fine people. I like to think my wife and I are well educated, followers of Christ despite our different educational backgrounds.

[Dsnygirl]

:) Wow - this is what I REALLY love about Intercot - I was so unsure about posting this, and you all have come through for me just like I'd hoped. :thumbsup: Everyone's had such great things to say - I appreciate everyone's input more than you know.

I went to the schools' website and did a lot of additional research today - the programs they have there are amazing, and they have a "character development" program within the schools that is pretty impressive. I like what I am learning, and am hoping our conversations w/ the principals solidify what we are reading.

One of our neighbors has 5 children in the school system, and she also babysits during the schoolyear for 5 of the teachers in the district - so I will be talking to her and "picking her brain", as well - I'm sure having them as neighbors will be a great resource. (Plus, 3 of their girls fit into the ages of our two, and are becoming fast friends - that is nice, too!)

I could comment on everone's posts - but suffice it to say that I really appreciate everyone's words, and it's helped a lot to hear what you've all had to say. As far as the Christian influence in our children's lives, we know that it would be very easy to rely on their current school for a large portion of it, and not work as hard at home b/c they get such grounding at school - and that is not something we want to have happen, either. We are currently looking for a church in this area, and are hoping to get involved there to a level where our kids are getting there what they've been getting at school, as well as making friends there that probably attend the public school, too.

It's not an easy decision, and I'm sure it'll be tough when faced with discussing it with our girls - but they handled our move a month & a half ago so great - and I firmly believe it was b/c my DH and I were so positive about all the great things that were going to come about b/c of it. So - I am hoping that if we handle this the same way, that they will find their own happiness in it and then we'll see what happens.

Thanks again so much you guys!! :thanks: :thanks:

[Mickey91]

We homeschool our children and have the same struggles. We started homeschooling 3 years ago. Our DS was in 5th and DD in 1st when we started. I felt that the interaction they were getting at school was not oo positive and more of the teachers were overbearing and just plain mean (not sure how some have retained their certificate). That being said, we still struggle with the decision every year. Are they missing too much? Are the activities with the other homeschoolers enough? Who knows?

I definitely would not let the struggles of their Christion school sway you. If anything, it may be a good time to leave. I'm not trying to sound cruel, but your children's education is what is most important. You can't let that suffer to support a possibly dying school.

Give the school system a try. If it is terrible, you can always pull them and finish out the year homeschooling. Then send them back to their old school or one similar in the area you are moving.

As with anything, ask for the Lord's guidance and you will be more at peace with whatever decision you make.

[Dsnygirl]

:) Well, we met with the principal at the elementary school this past week, and really liked what we saw and heard - now, we're hoping to meet w/ the middle school principal when he returns in the next week or two, as the middle school here is 4th - 8th grade, and our DD8 will be entering 4th grade. That mix of ages for middle school unnerves me a little, but they keep the 4th and 5th graders separated from the older kids - they have their own wing, schedule, etc., so that makes me feel a little better.

My daughters have really come around to the idea, having seen the schools and been in them this week -- they've focused on all the positive things they can do & be involved in, and seem quite excited. Plus, I've gotten them together w/ some of their Christian school friends, just to show them that won't change, and I hope that's helped, too.

The neat thing is that this whole process has really opened my DH's and my eyes to a whole new was of approaching things with the girls, and we've had some really great discussions re: character, beliefs, respecting others and standing strong that may never have occurred at this point. It's been really cool to see the new paths this is opening up for us.

Thanks again for all the input you've all shared... :)

[princessgirls]

Good Luck Blythe!

I am in a very similar situation. Our girls attend Christian School, and I am so very happy at the school. Their school Eastern Christian, is the largest Christian School in the Northeast, and very it is very competitive with all the area public schools. Their standards are very high. But, we just bought a house in the town I grew up in, with fantastic public schools, where I went to school. My feeling is that I believe that the value of a Christian Education is important, but it's not for everyone. I love what my kids come home saying, doing and acting out their faith. We will do it for as long as we can afford.
May God bless you as you make these hard decisions.
Julie:mickey: