MsMin
04-03-2007, 12:03 AM
I've been thinking about this for a while & just not sure of the best way to handle this.
I know you hear of so many sad stories from down here and hate to burden you with another but I am trying to find closure for family members.
My 2nd cousin (my mom's mom's 1st) was MR. He was 68 yrs old and an only child. His dad died 45 yrs ago and his mom about 20 yrs ago. They loved him very much and their way of "love" was to keep him out of the governmental system for mentally retarded citizens. It was meant with love and they saved for his future but unfortunately he had no way of managing his money and was often taken advantage of and left in debt w/ liens on the house etc. Since he was never id's as MR before the age of 18 it's not easy to have that changed. His cousins believed that they were honoring his parents wishes by keeping him out of programs aimed at helping MR citizens.
He became very emotionally unstable and his self care deteriorated. Then came Katrina... his home was flooded and all was lost. A cousin took him with them to Memphis and put him a home- now he has medicare. Anyway he passed away last Feb. My cousin called another cousin and said oh by the way he died a couple a weeks ago, I don't remember when but didn't have services and had him cremated b/c he figured the cemeteries (with his parents, he had a plot) were closed.
Anyway we don't even know when he died and many of the cousins here wish we could have done something for him. No one got to tell him goodbye. One cousin asked about his ashes and the other cousin said he planned to dump them when fishing b/c he loved to fish :( We want him home.
I thought that maybe I could make a religious card with a prayer on it, mail it to the relatives and suggest that everyone say a prayer on a given day and time in rememberence of him.
What do you think? does anyone have any ideas for closure? I'm kind of stuck trying to decide on a day and time to make it easier for all.
I would really appreciate your input. Anyone ever have a situation like this? All help is appreciated.
I know you hear of so many sad stories from down here and hate to burden you with another but I am trying to find closure for family members.
My 2nd cousin (my mom's mom's 1st) was MR. He was 68 yrs old and an only child. His dad died 45 yrs ago and his mom about 20 yrs ago. They loved him very much and their way of "love" was to keep him out of the governmental system for mentally retarded citizens. It was meant with love and they saved for his future but unfortunately he had no way of managing his money and was often taken advantage of and left in debt w/ liens on the house etc. Since he was never id's as MR before the age of 18 it's not easy to have that changed. His cousins believed that they were honoring his parents wishes by keeping him out of programs aimed at helping MR citizens.
He became very emotionally unstable and his self care deteriorated. Then came Katrina... his home was flooded and all was lost. A cousin took him with them to Memphis and put him a home- now he has medicare. Anyway he passed away last Feb. My cousin called another cousin and said oh by the way he died a couple a weeks ago, I don't remember when but didn't have services and had him cremated b/c he figured the cemeteries (with his parents, he had a plot) were closed.
Anyway we don't even know when he died and many of the cousins here wish we could have done something for him. No one got to tell him goodbye. One cousin asked about his ashes and the other cousin said he planned to dump them when fishing b/c he loved to fish :( We want him home.
I thought that maybe I could make a religious card with a prayer on it, mail it to the relatives and suggest that everyone say a prayer on a given day and time in rememberence of him.
What do you think? does anyone have any ideas for closure? I'm kind of stuck trying to decide on a day and time to make it easier for all.
I would really appreciate your input. Anyone ever have a situation like this? All help is appreciated.