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Boost
03-26-2007, 10:53 AM
We went over to MK yesterday just for the day (we are locals) and the kids wanted to play in Pooh's play area (near the old 20K Leagues). My wife and I watched quite a few parents (mostly dads) who were WAY too involved in the way that their kids were playing with others.

In one instance, one kid (not one of ours) cut in line on one of the small slides (which we do not condone with our kids) and this one father went ballistic. He held the child in question back while his kid went down the slide.

OK, first of all, if your kid is too scared to slide down a two foot high slide, don't force the issue. Second, I would never think about restraining a child unless that child was mine. If I ever saw this happen to my kid, I would have quietly taken that person aside (so as not to have made a scene) and addressed the issue.

Just an observation....

mjaclyn
03-26-2007, 11:29 AM
Wow...I think parents should discipline their OWN children and not butt in where other kids are concerned. If another child cut in line I would wait to see if his/her parents said something to them. If MY child cut in line I would go over to her and escort her to the back of the line - explaining that everyone has to wait their turn and play fairly. I would never discipline a child that wasn't my own and I would be all over anyone who tried to dicsipline mine - especially a stranger!

merlinmagic4
03-26-2007, 11:42 AM
Maybe the child they held back was in their party. It's hard to judge a situation without all of the facts.

Boost
03-26-2007, 11:59 AM
The child in question was not in the other parent's party, Kelly...thanks.

Buttercup
03-26-2007, 12:33 PM
I don't think I'd discipline another person's child... I would use the opportunity to show my own son how to effectively handle a situation like that. For instance, getting my son to politely ask the other child to go to the back of the line. It won't always work, but that in itself is a lesson to teach my child.

Marker
03-26-2007, 02:27 PM
He held the child in question back while his kid went down the slide.

I don't know if this means he physically held the child back or not. But you don't touch another kid.

However, if another child was cutting in line, I think someone needs to say something. It doesn't have to be rude, it doesn't have to be hateful, but I think it should be said. But you don't touch them, and you don't solve it by being rude, or forcing your way in front of them, that's just being as bad as they are and that doesn't solve anything.

When we were there a couple weeks ago, while waiting in line at Soarin', a group of 3 or 4 kids (12 - 14 y.o.) were winding their way through the line saying "our chaperone is up there", although the smirks on their faces said otherwise. When we (myself and the people behind me) asked "where", they turned and went the other way as if to leave. What they were doing was wrong, and they knew it, but they'd have gone right on to the front if no one had bothered to let them know that it was being noticed.

Michigander
03-26-2007, 02:48 PM
I love that you did this:thumbsup: This kind of thing happens alot:mad: I like the idea of asking them where the person is in the line they are trying to get to. That way if its true you could maybe excuse their rudeness but if their just trying to get to the front of the line you may stop them in their tracks:D I really dislike people who try to take such advantage. I know sometimes people have to get out of line to use the rest rooms or for er reasons and I don't mid letting them get back with their group but when they are just getting to the front of the line by lying to everyone it just p's me off.:thedolls:

busterthebronco
03-26-2007, 04:30 PM
sorry boost.
whenever i see a kid doing something wrong i stop them and explain to them they are doing wrong and need to do right.i dont care if they are mine or not.
:soapbox:
i guess it just depends on how old the breaker was.
was he old enough to know better?

PirateLover
03-26-2007, 05:22 PM
I don't really think it is appropriate to yell at another child or physically touch them except in rare conditions. Line cutting for a slide is not one of them. I work at a playground in the summer that has a day camp. It is in Center City Philadelphia. Many of our kids are poor or lower middle income.
The park is also frequented by the people nearby who live in million dollar homes. Now I'm not stereotyping, but often these moms come with their kids and expect the playground all to themselves. Once a girl in a nice sundress started bouncing a ball back and forth with one of my kids. Well wouldn't you know the ball bounced in the mud and got the girls dress dirty. Well the mom would have none of that, and started yelling at MY camper! As if it is a 5 year old boy's fault that you bought your daughter out to a muddy park the day after a thunderstorm

Another time, one of these mothers was letting her son run in and out of the swing area. I saw her watching him. And of course he got kicked in the head (not really bad, but enough to make him cry). Again it is the camper's fault and my fault.

Sean Riley Taylor's Mom
03-26-2007, 06:24 PM
I have no problem telling someone else's child to be careful, or wait for so and so to get down (of course in a nice way) if it is an old enough child to understand. However, I would never put my hand's on someone else's child, unless, it was to prevent them from getting hurt or hurting someone else. In that case, giving them a hand if they are stuck up high, etc.

I would have a real problem with someone else putting their hands on one of my kids unless it was for one of the reasons above.

That being said...I am always "on top" of my kids when they are in that type of situation so, if they were doing something wrong I would be the first to remove them from the situation. Also, to remove them if there was another child causing a problem.

mamacatnv
03-26-2007, 09:31 PM
I would never touch an unknown kid unless it was a danger issue - caught a kid falling out of a shopping cart once.

However, I have no issue using the firm parent voice and telling a child to wait their turn, asking them to "knock it off", watch their mouths, use please and thank you etc..... I believe this can be done respectfully and without yelling.

I truly believe in "It takes a village"

tinksmom02
03-26-2007, 10:45 PM
It is a hard lesson to teach kids, though, that some people are just rude and don't follow guidelines.

When I'm with DD4 in line for something, inevitably a child will try to worm his/her way in front of her. I make a point of saying to Jenna, but loud enough for the other kids, that "There's two more kids in front of you, and then it's your turn," so the other kid knows that I'm onto them LOL If it's a little kid, I'll politely explain that there's a spot available BEHIND her LOL

Touching strange kids? No way, not unless they're in some kind of immediate danger.

KAJUNKING
03-27-2007, 12:47 AM
if one of my kids do something really rude i will lose my mind on them, but im always on top of them, if some other kid does something very rude i still lose my mind, but i usually just make very loud general statements about childrens behavior in front of thier parents, mabey they get it mabey they dont! makes me feel better :thedolls: the ones who dont get it never will and think thier kids can do no wrong, its life experience that thier kids will prove them wrong :thumbsup:

tinkerbelle75
03-27-2007, 06:38 AM
Wow,I am really surprised at the responses in this thread.:confused:
If I am watching my child and they do something wrong,they WILL get in trouble.If another kid with no home training does something as petty as "cut in line", my kids know that they have to stand up for themselves. Do you guys really think it's appropriate to scold someone else's child? I definitely disagree.I for one would be furious if a stranger put their hands on my child, or spoke harshly to one of them.I say unless someone is in danger of being hurt,let the kids work it out for themselves.That's something they need to learn to do.
I say mind your own business unless someone is going to get hurt.The kids will have forgotten about it in 2 seconds anyway.

magicofdisney
03-27-2007, 10:52 AM
Wow,I am really surprised at the responses in this thread.:confused:
If I am watching my child and they do something wrong,they WILL get in trouble.If another kid with no home training does something as petty as "cut in line", my kids know that they have to stand up for themselves. Do you guys really think it's appropriate to scold someone else's child? I definitely disagree.I for one would be furious if a stranger put their hands on my child, or spoke harshly to one of them.I say unless someone is in danger of being hurt,let the kids work it out for themselves.That's something they need to learn to do.
I say mind your own business unless someone is going to get hurt.The kids will have forgotten about it in 2 seconds anyway.
Unfortunately, not all kids have the maturity to "work it out" amongst themselves. I agree that if something needs to be SAID, then I'll say it, but I do not agree with touching another person's child. And telling a child to stand his place in line is hardly scolding that child. And who am I to assume they have no home training? Regardless of how well you teach your children, they have their moments. For that matter, adults have their moments.

To the OP, what did the parents do of the child that was handled by another adult?

Marker
03-27-2007, 11:08 AM
Frankly, if my kids did something rude, disrespectful, or otherwise wrong and I didn't catch them at it, I would honestly hope someone would call them on it. In fact, it would probably have a greater impact on them if someone else did say something instead of just me.

No, you never lay hands on them, and you don't go off in some insane rant, but someone should let them know that their bad behavior was noticed.

I don't want them to learn that it's a matter of hiding their behavior from me. Bad behavior effects other people, and is wrong even if I don't see it. I want my kids to understand they need to behave properly when I'm not around as well as when I am, and as they get older and venture off on their own. I want them to understand that they are responsible for the consequences for their actions, that when they do something wrong, they have to "face the music" themselves. I'm there to support, and protect them, but consequences for their actions are theirs to deal with.

Sure, cutting in line is a small issue, but better they learn with small issues, that much larger ones later in life.

mamacatnv
03-27-2007, 02:20 PM
Do you guys really think it's appropriate to scold someone else's child? I definitely disagree.I for one would be furious if a stranger put their hands on my child, or spoke harshly to one of them.I do think it is appropriate to say something. I am not talking about a rant or scold but a reminder.
"Please wait your turn"
"The line starts back there"
"excuse me, that is not appropriate language and I would appreciate you not using it"
"No, please do not throw that rock"
"excuse me, you need to watch where you are going on your skates, thank you"
"You are being rude, please remember your manners"
etc......

I believe that todays kids are not held accountable for their actions. Look at how many people have the "don't you dare reprimand my kid" mentality - doesn't this bug you? It does me.

Example: As adults, we have law enforcement looking over our shoulders to "remind us" how to behave. What is wrong with an adult who is out and about and see's kids acting badly, points out that behavior and reminds the kids that there are standards and rules that need to be obeyed?

JMO

thrillme
03-27-2007, 03:20 PM
Putting the hands on the child...uh...NO...the only exception I would say is if the child is totally "unresponsive" I might venture to perhaps "tap" them softly on the shoulder with a polite "excuse me".

I've had to "call children out" who were destined to "kill themselves" to stop them because their parents...well you know the story...were in "Never Land" (I remember one little boy in particular climbing on the OUTSIDE of the tunnels at McDonalds...I thought my heart was going to stop...one slip and he'd be on the concrete with a busted head). I've stopped kids from pounding on their siblings and I guess I've "touched" them at that time and then asked them to take me to their parents. Sometimes you've got to step in.

My first course of action would be to walk up with my child and stand in line with them saying something to the effect "You are next...don't let everybody else in front of you". If a child rudely continued to cut in front I might say something to the effect of "excuse me but we are next". If the little ":mad: " continued to push ahead I'd probably just explain to my child that some are just RUDE.

Primarily I'd want to use that time as a moment to encourage my child to stand up for himself. Or stand up there with him. Usually an adult's presence in line is more than enough to scare kids into proper behavior.

kadesha
03-27-2007, 05:00 PM
I may speak in my "mommy voice" to other kids if they are doing something really wrong, or may say something to their parents! I would NEVER touch anyone else's kid or hold them back! If it were me and cutting ahead was so important to this kid, I'd use it as a learning experience for my own child and bring it to their attention how rude it was and how we should never do that. If my kids get out of line, I handle them, but I do not mind if another adult nicely speaks to them. It is important that they learn to respect ALL adults. It is not ok for anyone to EVER lay their hands on my child, if I saw something like that going on, there would be bigger problems than whatever was going on with the kids!

LoriMistress
03-27-2007, 07:55 PM
I'm don't have any kids. But if a stranger grabs my child aside to "lecture/question"them, th guy's teeth would be knocked out.

bratmaster
03-28-2007, 12:03 AM
speaking on the "offending" child's behalf (shame on him for cutting in line on a slide - he should be hung) i have no idea how old the child is, but I have a son with an "invisible" disability (autism spectrum). Although he looks and acts like a perfectly "normal" child, he does not know how to act socially with other kids. God forbid this was MY son that somebody restrained (and for something as stupid as line cutting for a slide) because somebody would have been seriously hurt. I'm not saying that this child in question had a disability, I'm just saying it is something else to think about - not all children are malicious. Who among us as a child has not tried to butt in a line?? That's what kids do. Sure, they should be taught otherwise, but restraints?? Nobody in their right mind would touch another person's kid over that. And where was that kid's parents anyhow? They should have been watching him there.

Ian
03-28-2007, 07:37 AM
I guess the old, "It takes a village to raise a child" mentality has fallen by the wayside with some, huh?

Restraining another person's child is flat out wrong. If I saw anyone grab one of my kids and phyiscally restrain them, we'd have an issue.

But as far as speaking to them when they break the rules ... that's what adults are for. It doesn't matter if they're the kids parents or not.

Someone has to teach kids right from wrong. Contrary to what seems to be popular belief these days, they don't "just figure it out on their own."

But I would add that I would also speak to my child if he or she were the one cut in front of and teach them about standing up for themselves. It's a two way street.

mook3y
03-28-2007, 10:58 AM
I have no problem telling someone else's child to be careful, or wait for so and so to get down (of course in a nice way) if it is an old enough child to understand. However, I would never put my hand's on someone else's child, unless, it was to prevent them from getting hurt or hurting someone else. In that case, giving them a hand if they are stuck up high, etc.

I would have a real problem with someone else putting their hands on one of my kids unless it was for one of the reasons above.

That being said...I am always "on top" of my kids when they are in that type of situation so, if they were doing something wrong I would be the first to remove them from the situation. Also, to remove them if there was another child causing a problem.

:thumbsup: I agree completely with you on this subject.

We encourage our children to work out their own problems with other kids to teach them how to stand up for themselves. But there definately are ocassions when we will simply remove our child from the situation.

Just a couple weeks ago, we were at a park and the parent of a small child, probably 1.5 years old was trying to climb up a slide. The mom was very rude to any other child that came to the slide, telling them. "You need to go play on something else" I couldn't help myself and told my wife loud enough for her to hear "hmm, glad she pays enough in taxes to own part of the playground, maybe our property taxes will go down now". She moved on shortly after that. So many people have an unbelievable sense of entitlement these days.

4ubie1
03-28-2007, 11:02 AM
I agree...placing your hands on someone else's child is wrong..unless they may get hurt or are in need of help. But to grab them to reprimand them...:nono: I however think that it is not wrong for someone to tell a child that they are doing something wrong even if it is not theirs. I think you should not be rude or overly negative about it. Just explain to the child that what they are doing is not very polite or nice. And if the child chooses to ignore you, use it as an example to your own children. Explain to them what the other kid is doing wrong and how proud you are that they are not the ones doing it. Use it as a teaching experience.:thumbsup:

Dicecatt262
03-28-2007, 12:47 PM
Speaking as a Mother of 4...if my child cut in front of someone and I didn't see it, I wouldn't mind another parent politely telling them they cut...mabye they didn't realize what they were doing. My kids would graciously accept that and step back. However, if anyone actually laid a hand on my child, they better run for cover.

tyandskyesmom
03-29-2007, 02:57 PM
Frankly, if my kids did something rude, disrespectful, or otherwise wrong and I didn't catch them at it, I would honestly hope someone would call them on it. In fact, it would probably have a greater impact on them if someone else did say something instead of just me.

No, you never lay hands on them, and you don't go off in some insane rant, but someone should let them know that their bad behavior was noticed.

I don't want them to learn that it's a matter of hiding their behavior from me. Bad behavior effects other people, and is wrong even if I don't see it. I want my kids to understand they need to behave properly when I'm not around as well as when I am, and as they get older and venture off on their own. I want them to understand that they are responsible for the consequences for their actions, that when they do something wrong, they have to "face the music" themselves. I'm there to support, and protect them, but consequences for their actions are theirs to deal with.

Sure, cutting in line is a small issue, but better they learn with small issues, that much larger ones later in life.

I agree completely!


I do think it is appropriate to say something. I am not talking about a rant or scold but a reminder.
"Please wait your turn"
"The line starts back there"
"excuse me, that is not appropriate language and I would appreciate you not using it"
"No, please do not throw that rock"
"excuse me, you need to watch where you are going on your skates, thank you"
"You are being rude, please remember your manners"
etc......

I believe that todays kids are not held accountable for their actions. Look at how many people have the "don't you dare reprimand my kid" mentality - doesn't this bug you? It does me.

Me too, big time!


i have no idea how old the child is, but I have a son with an "invisible" disability (autism spectrum). Although he looks and acts like a perfectly "normal" child, he does not know how to act socially with other kids. Who among us as a child has not tried to butt in a line?? That's what kids do. Nobody in their right mind would touch another person's kid over that. And where was that kid's parents anyhow? They should have been watching him there.

I would assume that all parents should be watching their kids at all times, especially in an area like that but the sad truth is that they don't! I would also hope that any parent of a child with any type of disability (visual or otherwise) would be all over watching that child, especially in an area like that--for that child's safety and for the other kids too. Yes, it is normal to "butt" in line, probably everyone has tried it at one time or another as a child but that is where the learning comes in. If no one addresses it, since apparently that child's parents were not around, then that child learns to "benefit" from his wrong doing and will go on to try it again. If the parent of the child cutting in line was not able to correct the child, then it is appropriate for the parent of the kid he cutted to address it...althoughnot by laying even one finger on that child. I would hope that if I am ever in this situation (which I should not ever be in because I watch my kids like a hawk!) that a responsible grown-up would step in and explain to my child using words what he did wrong and ask him to wait his turn.

bratmaster
03-29-2007, 04:33 PM
I did not say that i condone line-cutting. I was just saying that it is not something to flip out over - certainly nothing to restrain a child for. Of course i think it is ok to tell the child that it is not nice to cut in line. But i hardly think the child is some kind of heathen; it is a perfectly normal thing for a kid to do. You tell him "no cutting" and you move on.

MNNHFLTX
03-29-2007, 06:02 PM
I know we all want our children to learn to stick up for themselves on occasion, but situations like this can also be a good opportunity to teach a child (as in my child, not the other parent's child) the fine art of taking the high road. Rather than engage in a verbal or phyical tussle of any kind, even a young child can be taught to say to the offender something to the effect of "Even though it's my turn in line, I'll let you go ahead of me." It lets the other child know that what he is doing is not fair, but that someone is being nice anyway. Or nothing has to be said at all, in fact. Personally I would rather my kid learn that although you can't always control someone else's actions in life, you do have control over your response and how much you let it bother you. :)

Oh--and under no circumstances do I think it's appropriate for a parent to touch or restrain a child other than their own, unless they are in some kind of danger.

Goes4FastPass
03-31-2007, 12:01 PM
Obviously, there's a giant difference between speaking to a child and touching a child.

I think sometimes though, parents are too quick to intervene. I've gone to the 'dog park' with my son and his dog. The dogs run and tumble as a pack and eventually one dog snaps at another, there's a yelp and a tumble and play resumes - except for the 'parents'. Somebody yells, "You better control your dog!" "No you control yours" and a 'fight' ensues between the dog owners - while the dogs continue to play unconcerned. The same kids that these parents felt the need to intervene with interact with their peers every day.

So many parents spend so little time with their kids they feel they need to compress all the affection and instruction and defending and gift giving and attention they can in that short time.

BrerGnat
03-31-2007, 02:32 PM
I encounter this EVERY TIME I take my son to Disneyland. He is almost three and his favorite places to play are at the playground at Goofy's House and at the Redwood Creek challeng trail. You would NOT believe the behavior I see from kids in these areas all the time.

For starters, the Goofy playground is specifically meant for children 5 and under. There is a HUGE sign stating this fact. Nevertheless, kids as old as 11 and 12 are routinely running mad in this area, oblivious to the toddlers in their midst. The parents just sit back, as if their kids are NOT out of control.

There are also always the "bullies" of the playground around. These are the 2-5 year olds who push, trample, cut in line for slides, etc. Their parents are so busy taking pictures/video of them that they do nothing about their kid's behavior.

My son is autistic. He is socially affected very much...he lets kids walk all over him, and he doesn't understand how to be more aggressive when kids get in his personal space. For this reason, I stay close enough to him to make sure he is not doing something that is socially wrong, and also to remove him from a potentially dangerous situation (i.e. kids pushing and shoving on the slide). However, I try my hardest to let him fend for himself. When it becomes too much, I gently take his hand and tell him (in earshot of the "parents" whose kids are misbehaving) "Let's go Max, this little boy/girl does not know how to play nice", and I take him to another area.

I have gotten SO MANY nasty looks from parents, but I don't care. I would never touch another child, but it makes me so sad when I have to remove MY child from an area where he was previously having fun just because some other parent doesn't have the decency to step in and discipline their own child.

I have no problem verbally disciplining another child, especially if he/she is doing something that is dangerous, and the parents are nowhere to be found. I am always telling youngsters at the playground "please do not throw sand (sticks, rocks, etc) because you may hurt someone by accident." Sometimes, you need to say somthing; for the safety of your child or the others in the immediate area. Unfortunately, too many parents use playtime at the park as "time for mommy to chit chat with her friends and ignore her child." :(

Scar
03-31-2007, 03:24 PM
...although you can't always control someone else's actions in life, you do have control over your response and how much you let it bother you.:thumbsup: Pretty much "good advice" for anything in life.

dumbo ears
03-31-2007, 03:44 PM
well i guess some parents don't know how to manage their kids